Some horses swim!

If they ever let us play with 4 Scroll again, I could see running this as a 1-of to blow up Confidants and Welders and stuff.

Pretty broken with Wall of Blood.  Too bad Wall of Blood is trash by itself.

It's easy to cast when you have Liliana of the Dark Realms in play

Monoblack or B/G Cabal Coffers control used to be a thing in Legacy a few years ago.  This card would've been awesome there.  Modern Legacy is probably too fast though.  And yeah, the card is not good enough for Vintage.

If you want something that draws cards and picks off creatures, Sword of Fire and Ice is way better, assuming you run enough creatures.

The discussion of Battle Hymn in this article is pretty pointless, since it's strictly worse than Brightstone Ritual in the outlined scenario.  But maybe it'll finally make Kobolds.dec viable...

(I wish)

It's really too bad Legend isn't a creature type anymore!

Be honest, you just wrote this so you could make up stupid nicknames for her.

That being said, you could use her with Loyal Retainers in some kind of Survival deck.  I don't know if she's better than Iona for this, but she's better against MUD.

Ironically it's anti-synergistic with several elements of Guli.dec: Aether Vial, Mikaeus, and Scavenging Ooze.

Other stuff it hoses:  Chalice of the void (not @0), Engineered Explosives (not @0), Gemstone Mine, Mystic Remora.

Grats on the Mox.  I've got two card suggestions: Gifts Ungiven and City of Brass.

Gifts fits the deck perfectly: ridiculously skill-intensive and headache-inducing, and swings games like crazy.  Test it in the Fact spot.
City of Brass is like a Scrubland that taps for blue, and it'll feed your addiction to colorless lands.

Regardless of the activation, this is a very efficient way for MUD to kill annoying creatures like Dark Confidant, Goblin Welder, or Kataki.  It might be playable in the sideboard.

This one?
http://www.starcitygames.com/magic/vintage/13158_The_Secret_to_the_Gifts_Stax_Matchup_How_to_Gain_an_Edge_From_Either_Side.html

He says that drawing Workshop is the key to the Gifts matchup, but it's probably true of other matchups as well.

As much as I'd love to see Skullclamp abused in Vintage, remember that it compounds your weakness against Null Rod, which is already one of Tezz's biggest problems.  You should probably run another bounce spell (Hurkyl's/Rebuild) to deal with Rod.

Also, in addition to the obvious expensive cards, you're missing Yawgmoth's Will and Gifts Ungiven.  (Also Fact or Fiction, Library of Alexandria and Ponder, but you can make a valid case against them.)

He's a good target for Shallow Grave/Corpse Dance.  Maybe Magus of the Jar.dec will resurface with this guy.

He's a Legend, so he could conceivably be a target for Loyal Retainers in some kind of Survival list.  Not that Survival is a Vintage deck or anything, and even if it were, Iona's still better.

Nice data, Storm.  Here's a (rough) composite list based on it:

// Deck file for Magic Workstation

// Lands
    4 Wasteland
    3 Tundra
    3 Tropical Island
    2 Misty Rainforest
    2 Flooded Strand
    1 Strip Mine
    1 Island
    1 Forest

// Creatures
    4 Noble Hierarch
    3 Tarmogoyf
    3 Qasali Pridemage
    3 Meddling Mage
    3 Cold-Eyed Selkie
    2 Trygon Predator

// Permanents
    4 Null Rod
    1 Mox Sapphire
    1 Mox Pearl
    1 Mox Emerald
    1 Black Lotus

// Spells
    4 Force of Will
    3 Stifle
    3 Daze
    2 Spell Pierce
    1 Time Walk
    1 Mystical Tutor
    1 Hurkyl's Recall
    1 Brainstorm
    1 Ancestral Recall

// Sideboard
SB: 3 Swords to Plowshares
SB: 2 Relic of Progenitus
SB: 2 Umezawa's Jitte
SB: 2 Wheel of Sun and Moon
SB: 1 Children of Korlis
SB: 1 Kataki, War's Wage
SB: 1 Pithing Needle
SB: 1 Tarmogoyf
SB: 1 Tormod's Crypt
SB: 1 Trygon Predator

Looks solid, and not too surprising.

This reminds me of the Grow deck that Smmenen's been advocating - Confidants, lots of Duresses, light mana base, no VaultKey, no Null Rod.  It runs a playset of Sleight of Hand, which would probably help this deck too - it'll make your mana more consistent, and keep your Jotun Grunts around longer.

Here's the primer (free), it might give you some ideas.
http://www.starcitygames.com/magic/vintage/18167_So_Many_Insane_Plays_All_About_Bob_Confidant_Control_in_Vintage.html

Really, you don't need (or want) to fill your whole deck with removal.  4-10 cards should be plenty when combined with proactive disruption and a decent clock.

I'd recommend you play some version of GW aggro.  This color combination gives you everything you need, and is a fairly viable deck.  Go read Menendian's article about it:
http://www.starcitygames.com/magic/vintage/17429_So_Many_Insane_Plays_Vintage_on_a_Budget_GW_Beatdown.html

I have no idea how many Wild Growths you need, but check out Utopia Sprawl if it's more than four.

It's janky as hell, but Pendelhaven might be worth it to maximize Selkie.

Cabal Therapy definitely deserves consideration, since it should be really easy to flash back.

Shock Therapy 
Sorcery
Name a card other than a basic land.  Target player reveals his or her hand.  If that player revealed a card with the chosen name, Shock Therapy deals 4 damage to him or her; otherwise, Shock Therapy deals 2 damage to him or her.

I like burn spells that involve thinking.  I also think that "Name a card" effects have been underused, and I don't see why they couldn't be used in red cards.

Other possibilities include costing it at RB and making them actually discarding the card, or having it deal damage for each copy of the card.

I think the remove-all-abilities effect could easily be simplified to just tapping the land and keeping it tapped.  Sure, it doesn't stop The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale, but pretty much every other land ability is a tap activation.

I also think we're better off with a choice-based version - it leads to more interesting decisions, and is also easier to cost at 2cmc.  Here's my idea for a version based on Paralyze:

Cursed Rain
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Land
When Cursed Rain comes into play, tap enchanted land.
Enchanted land doesn't untap during its controller's untap step.
At the beginning of the upkeep of enchanted land's controller, that player may pay 2 life. If he or she does, untap the land.

Academy needs to be in here.  I'd cut Strip Mine for it, since it's largely unsupported.  I also think FOF is a good call, probably in for a Misdirection or Voltaic.

Anti-Massacre tech, I believe.

Phyrexian Furnace might be a better option for the cheap-artifact-cantrip-with-marginal-utility slot.  They may be too slow against really degenerate graveyard decks, but they're likely still more useful than Stars.  (Coincidentally, they show up in one of Zherbus's "way outdated" articles as well.)

It would have been nice to hear more than one sentence about the most significant and controversial restriction in recent history.

I would definitely maindeck four Leyline of the Void.  It promises to be amazing in the new format, and this kind of deck can easily hardcast it.

Obviously it's probably less valuable in a casual setting.