[Report] Highlander pwnage @ Hadley - *1st Place Mox Split*

Warning: This tournament report contains, by far, the most absurd decklist you will probably ever see entered into a power tournament.

Now that we've established that, let's move on.

After playing a few games with fellow BC student Mike Lydon (Meddling Mage) on Thursday night, I decided to build an awesome new fun deck for the pre-waterbury randomness that is Hadley. With the "How pimp is your collection" thread fresh in my mind, I was convinced that the deck must be extremely saucy looking, include lots of random cards I like to run, and still be somewhat competetive. So, what do you do with lots of really pimp looking one-ofs? Highlander anyone? I then proceeded to build the silliest, most retarded deck I've ever had the pleasure of playing.

I present to you:

"The Pimpest Deck Ever" (61 Cards)

//Countermagic (7 Cards)

1 Mana Drain
1 Force of Will
1 Disrupt
1 Mana Leak
1 Annul
1 Misdirection
1 Counterspell

//Draw & Search (12 Cards)

1 Ancestral Recall
1 Mystical Tutor
1 Vampiric Tutor
1 Merchant Scroll
1 Impulse
1 Fact or Fiction
1 Tinker
1 Thirst For Knowledge
1 Skeletal Scrying
1 Deep Analysis
1 Brainstorm
1 Mind's Eye

//Removal (4 Cards)

1 Swords to Plowshares
1 Fire/Ice
1 Dismantling Blow
1 Powder Keg

//Creatures (4 Cards)

1 Masticore
1 Psychatog
1 Ophidian
1 Gorilla Shaman

//Brokenness, Utility, and Others (8 Cards)

1 Time Walk
1 Yawgmoth's Will
1 Stifle
1 Decree of Justice
1 Isochron Scepter
1 Mindslaver
1 Duress
1 Cabal Therapy

//The Manabase (26 Cards)

1 Mox Jet
1 Mox Ruby
1 Mox Pearl
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mox Emerald
1 Black Lotus
1 Sol Ring
1 Mana Crypt
1 Polluted Delta
1 Flooded Strand
1 Windswept Heath
1 Bloodstained Mire
1 Wooded Foothills
1 Library of Alexandria
1 Wasteland
1 Mountain
1 Plains
1 Island
1 Underground Sea
1 Tundra
1 Volcanic Island
1 Tropical Island
1 Underground River
1 City of Brass
1 Gemstone Mine
1 Undiscovered Paradise

//Sideboard (15 Cards)

1 Hibernation
1 Blue Elemental Blast
1 Hydroblast
1 Red Elemental Blast
1 Pyroblast
1 Rack and Ruin
1 Smother
1 Coffin Purge
1 Plaguebearer
1 Disenchant
1 Wrath of God
1 Circle of Protection: Red
1 Damping Matrix
1 Tormod's Crypt
1 Tsabo's Web

Wow. What a pile.

The next day I finished classes, jumped in the car, grabbed Jacob Orlove from Brandeis, and headed down to Mr. Kowal's house to meet up with Ray Robillard (IamFishMan), Dave, Theresa, and Loren. After a while of partying, Ray decided to unveil his new Stasis deck that he was going to play at Hadley and a game occurs. Ray established a permanent stasis lock with Forgotten City and tries to deck me, but actually loses because my deck has 61 cards. Mize. Afterwards, I kicked some ass in a few games of mental magic and then went to sleep while others remained awake drafting.

In the morning, I dropped Jacob and company at the mall and drove across the street to leave my car to get new brake pads. Then I walked back to the mall, signed up for the tourny, and readied myself for round 1.

Round 1: Dave, playing some Stax varient with 4 Karns and lots of cards I loaned him:

Game 1:

I win the die roll and keep an opening hand of Land, Land, Mox, Mox, Shaman, Powder Keg, Dismantling Blow. I drop a land, two moxes, play shaman and keg, then pass the turn. Dave plays a workshop, drops a Sol Ring and a Chalice for 2, then passes the turn. Eventually another Chalice is played, shaman eats a whole bunch of stuff, I resolve Ancestral, lay a Masticore, and go lethal.

Game 2:

I board out Disrupt and Misdirection for Disenchant and Rack and Ruin. Dave plays a turn 1 Triniphere, forcing me to drop a land and say ago. Luckily for me, Dave is very light on threats so this happens for at least three turns, except that a Sphere was played. Eventually, he plays a Grafted Skullcap which I disenchant the next turn, and start resolving draw spells. Soon enough, Masticore comes down for the win.
Round 2: Ben (Kowal) with BroodStarRunner.dec that I loaned him: (1-0-0, 2-0)

Game 1:

On turn 1 I drop Mox, Mox, Lotus, Land, Mind's Eye and draw one on Ben's turn. I keep getting insane card advantage, Fire/Ice an early Metalworker, and Tinker for Masticore to stop Juggernauts that "have to attack". Masticore eventually goes the distance, as Ben can't play Welders with core on the table.

Game 2:

I board out Misdirection, Disrupt, Duress, Stifle, Ophidian, and bring in Tormod's Crypt, BEB, Rack and Ruin, Disenchant, and Wrath of God.

My hand is mediocre, but not worth tossing back, so I decide to keep. Ben opens with turn 1 Metalworker, which leads into an entire hand being dropped on turn 2. Lots of fat starts swinging at me, and Tangle Wire shuts me down. I lose this game quickly.

Game 3:

I start off dropping a land and pass the turn and Ben drops a Lightning Greaves and passes back. I eventually miss my third land drop, and Ben starts to gain board control. However, for some reason, (I don't remember why) Ben casts Wheel of Fortune, drops a bunch of Moxen, plays a welder, swings with fat, equips the welder, and passes the turn. On my turn, I drop Pearl, play City of Brass, and Wrath of God everything away. WTF? So good! No one expects that shit. Unfortunately, Ben mizes a Myr Enforcer off the top, equips it and swings. I can't deal with it in the next turn, so I lose.

Round 3: Matt Snow with B/G suicide (1-1-0, 3-2)

Game 1:

I get Duressed and Hymned, and a Withered Wretch starts beating me down. In addition, Matt plays a Nantuko Shade, which deals me a quick 7 damage, tapping him out. I am at 1 life and Matt has a Shade, Wretch, and 4 cards in hand, so I am seriously thinking of scooping. However, I decide to play it out. Now, here is where the retardedness of the deck comes into play:

1) At end of turn I Mystical for Yawgmoth's Will.
2) Untap, draw, cast Will.
3) Play Lotus from graveyard
4) Sac for 3 blue, cast Impulse getting Tinker
5) Play Mana Crypt from the yard, tap for 2, Tinker it away to fetch Masticore
6) Tap 2, kill Nantuko Shade with Masticore

I now have 4 cards in hand, at one life, with 1 mana open facing a lone Withered Wretch and 4 cards in hand. Matt untaps, draws, and casts Diabolic Edict, but I respond by Misdirecting it back to him pitching Force of Will. I maintain two cards in my hand and start beating him down, getting him to 4 life. Matt untaps, casts Demonic Consultation for Hymn to Tourach, and casts it, making me discard my hand thinking my Masticore will die on my upkeep. However, at end of his turn I tap an Island and my Undiscovered Paradise to put a regen shield on core, the UP returns to my hand during Untap Step, and I pitch it to Masticore for the win.

Game 2:

I get Duressed again, and a wretch hits the table again and starts beating me up. When I get five mana I tap out and cast Mind's Eye. I start drawing like crazy, Smother one of his threats, Plow a Negator, and eventually drop a Masticore while there is a Negator on the table. I start swinging for the win.

Round 4: Hale Simon with GAT (2-1-0, 5-2)

Game 1:

Hale casts Ancestral during my upkeep, which resolves. He drops a Dryad fairly quickly, which gets really big, really fast and kills me. Fact or Fictioning into 3 Forces and 2 lands is also fairly irritating heh.

Game 2:

I start off by playing a lotus, a land, and a Masticore, which Hale Forces. I pitch a blue card and cast Misdirection, so it resolves. Hale drops a land, two moxes, and casts Ancestral. I discard, draw, and swing for 4. Hale untaps, draws, plays fastbond, casts Gush floating two, drops two lands, casts Cunning Wish, gets Oxidize, and casts it. I draw, drop a land, and pass the turn. After he drops a land and passes the turn, I Impulse at which point Hale realizes that he hasn't drawn his two cards from Gush two turns ago. Impulse resolves, showing me 4 mana sources. Drawing nothing, I pass my turn back to Hale, who casts the Psychatog that kills me the next turn.

At this point my record is 2-2, so I tell Mike and Jacob that we should leave as soon as Mike is done playing. However, Mike is 1-1-1, so if he wins he has top 8 potential. Mike wins his match, so we decide to stick around and play our final matches.

Round 5: Chris Tourloukis (BilltheDuck's brother) with mono blue (2-2-0, 5-4)

Game 1:

I cast a turn 1 Masticore off land and lotus with Misdirection backup, but he doesn't Force anyway. Five turns later, an Angry Masticore wins the game.

Game 2:

Chris draws a total of 19 extra cards that game, between Accumulated Knowledges, Deep Analysis, Ancestral, and Ophidian. Back to Basics comes down, followed by a Morphling, and then I die.

Game 3:

I drop a land and pass the turn, and Chris does the same. On my second turn, I drop a land and a mox, then cast Tinker, which resolves and fetches me Mind's Eye. I then proceed to draw lots and lots of cards, stocking my hand with a Pyroblast, Red Elemental Blast, Mana Leak, Will, and other broken cards. I eventually Mystical for Decree of Justice, cycle that, force through a Psychatog, and win the game.

After winning this match, I find out that I made top 8, with a 3-2-0, 7-5 record, and I am shocked.

Top 8 Match: Hale Simon again with GAT

Game 1:

Hale starts of yet again with an opening Ancestral during my upkeep, which of course, resolves. He drops a lotus and a second land, casts Time Walk. On his next turn, he sacs lotus and casts Yawgmoth's Will, which kicks me upside the head all over. I lose this game terribly.

Game 2:

I drop a land and pass the turn. Hale eventually Merchant Scrolls up an Ancestral, which I misdirect. An intuition resolves on his side, as well as an AK for three so he is still very much in the game. He drops a tog, which I smother, and I force through a Psychatog of my own, which eventually goes for the kill.

Game 3:

Hale resolves an Ancestral early, and Forces one of my initial threats. He then does something very strange, as he Mysticals for Demonic in his main phase, brainstorms to draw it, casts Demonic for Gush, revealing it to me, floats two, gushes, and realizes he put back down the Dryad he wanted to cast for the Brainstorm. I have Yawg Will in hand, and Misdirection + blue card as backup, but I am stuck waiting for my 4th land to make the Will useful. After waiting two turns, and casting a Skeletal Scrying for 1 earlier, I get the fourth land. Meanwhile, Hale has a Psychatog on the board that will be lethal in approximately two turns. My yard consists of Swords to Plowshares, REB, Ancestral, and Scrying. Hale, with two cards in hand, I figure cannot possibly out counter me unless he has double drain (which is highly unlikely with one in the yard), so I should be in good shape. I cast Yawg Will, but in response, Hale Cunning Wishes for Ebony Charm and removes Ancestral, Scrying, and Plow from my yard. I REB his tog, he slaps himself in the head for misplaying, and I pass the turn. He is basically topdecking, whereas I have four cards in hand, so I mize up some card advantage, resolve a scepter with Pyroblast, resolve Mind's Eye, and kill him with a lethal tog.

Top 4 Match: Ben (Kowal) again with BroodstarRunner.dec v3.0

Game 1:

Total brokenness savagely owns me. Turn 1 Metalworker, into fat beats + lightning greaves, and Tangle Wire.

Game 2:
By turn two, Ben has a Juggernaut with Lightning Greaves on it that is already eating up my life total. I fetch, and cast Vampiric Tutor, deliberating for almost 10 minutes about what to get because of the Greaves. I forget what I grabbed, but it doesn't matter because Ben casts Wheel of Fortune the next turn, and I draw lots of good stuff, which actually removes his threats. Gorilla Shaman comes out I believe, and chumps his Juggernaut for a turn, and I BEB a Welder. I don't remember all the details, but it was a very close game with me on the defensive for most of it.

Game 3:

All I remember from this game is that Ben had a Greaved Juggernaut that was beating me down, but he cast a Welder and equipped it in the second mainphase. I cast Rack and Ruin on the juggernaut and greaves, and there were no artifacts in his yard at the time, so Welder was currently useless. I blasted his Welder the next turn, and slowly start gaining card advantage while he has all mana sources left in his hand. There was a Trinisphere in play at some point, but we were both very developed at that point, so it didn't matter. Mind's Eye made an appearance, allowing me to draw answers to any possible threat.

Top 2: Matrix with an unknown deck

We decide to split because we both agreed that playing 8 hours to get a dual land for 2nd place would be total crap. Instead, I take his NM Workshop, and he took the Mox Emerald + the dual.

Obligatory Props:

- Me for piloting a POS Highlander deck to the finals
- All of my opponents for being cool guys
- Tinker for being the best damn card in my deck
- Mind's Eye for resolving against mono blue
- Masticore for the savage beating it unleashed upon Hadley
- Ben for hosting the tournament
- Ray for making top 8 with Stasis
- Mike for being the reason I actually stayed in the tournament

Obligatory Slops:

- Mike for being himself
- Mike for leaving his backpack in Ray's car with all his school books in it
- Jacob for going 0-2 drop
- Me for not bothering to put Demonic in the deck and including Wasteland, but no Strip Mine

It was a VERY fun two days, full of magical games and highlander domination. If you are bored or have lots of time, I suggest you try piloting this deck, as it is extremely fun, and severely tests your playskill.

Hope the report wasn't too boring, as I usually don't write them.
-Jeff