I went in to friday morning hoping the pre-tournament shenanigans would be kept to a minimum. This was going to be a long weekend and I just wanted to get in early and sleep.
Unfortunately, the following happened.
Around 9, I'm woken out of bed by TheBrassMan Andy Probasco, who's knocking on my window to wake my ass up. I stumble to the door in a bathrobe and let him in, and start getting ready to go. Entering the dirty bracket is no way to start the day... Especially with about nine hours of driving ahead of you.
Our first mission is to pick up Jacob Orlove, who we manage to locate with few mishaps by noontime. Then we take a brief two hour jaunt from Brandeis University to somewhere near Franklin Mass to pick up Brass Man's friend Matt... And on the highway, our breaks a splode. The break line literally snapped while we were doing sixtyish on the highway, and we had to e break our way off the highway to avoid hitting the slowing cars. Brass Man skillfully aims his car in to a parking lot to break completely and let us out to try to figure a way out of this mess.
Our options were limited. My usual backup drivers were missing, and Andy isn't old enough to rent a car. So Matt, being the other of us under 18, called his mom and she volunteered to drive us all up to the venue. Unfortunately, she was watching her daughter's soccer game and couldn't even pick us up until like seven. We decided to kill time we'd go eat while Brass Man was still e-breaking around town looking for a repair place. Our planning was poor; he had all our stuff and had no idea where he was or where we were. Dinner was good anyway though. The restaurant was fairly classy, so when my compatriots ordered buffalo wings I was slightly unexcited. I had to order filet mignon just to feel comfortable in this place.
Eventually Matt's mom shows up and we go on the hunt for Brass Man. We find him carrying like five backpacks and a box in a parking lot about four miles down the road. Then we drive.
And drive.
And drive.
We arrive at the scene, and the hotel is booked solid. We get sent to a little skanky place called the King's Hotel or something like that. It was like fifty buck for a room, so I mised a bed for the low low cost of like two dollars more than everyone else, and crashed hard.
--Enter Magic Playing Section--
My memory is poor. I didn't take notes, and between having to help out Bryce and being totally stressed out about the amount of money we were losing, I forgot lots of things, like the order of my matches. If I make any mistakes here, my apologies.
Anyway, I had decided a while back to run this list. It's basically the same thing I've been running, but with Propagandas.
That Chalice deck.
4 Ophidian
2 Morphling
4 Mana Drain
4 Mana Leak
4 Force of Will
1 Misdirection
4 Chalice of the Void
3 Back to Basics
2 Powder Keg
4 Impulse
1 Ancestral Recall
1 Time Walk
1 Black Lotus
1 Sol Ring
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mox Pearl
1 Mox Jet
1 Mox Emerald
1 Mox Ruby
1 Library of Alexandria
1 Strip Mine
4 Wasteland
4 Flooded Strand
1 Polluted Delta
8 Island
SB:
4 Energy Flux
4 Control Magic
4 Propaganda
2 Blue Elemental Blast
1 Back to Basics
Anyway, games went as such.
Round One: Scott Limoges with Thirsty Monoblue
Game one I get flattened by a turn one colossus.
Game two I play Ophidian and Scott has nothing that can stop it from drawing cards.
Game three Scott has lethal damage on the board when I rip Morphling for the draw.
1-1-1, 0-0-1
Round Two: Keeper
Game one I get no sneaky underhanded plays, and am forced to just win with Ophidians and counters. Back to Basics and Chalice never show.
Game two I get an early chalice at 1, followed up with Back to Basics. I offer to let him scoop so we can go get pizza before everyone else, and he's down with it.
3-1-1, 1-0-1
Round Three: Tog I think
I don't remember much here, except I won a lot.
5-1-1, 2-0-1
Round Four: RayAmFishMan with Belcher
Game one Ray duresses my hand of six mana sources and chalice. I demonstrate my enormous balls by keeping that hand. I rip a mana leak. He tries to cast will with a storm count of like 6 and mana/demonic in the bin, which I leak. He is out of gas at this point and I just topdeck good stuff after wasting his two lands. Eventually he forces out a belcher, but I keg away his mana and he can't activate it before I kill him.
Game two I play a Chalice. I Impulse in to three counters and Morphling when I'm holding nothing, and I just take the Morphling and start beating down.
7-1-1, 3-0-1
Round Five: Jim Demarsico with 5/3
Game one I scoop to Jim getting the nut on turn one.
Game two I play b2b/energy flux and just stop caring about the game state. Turns out he's got two basics. Oops. I draw complete dick while something kills me. I think it was a welded in Juggernaut.
7-2-1, 3-1-1
Round Six: GAT
Game one we're both going pretty nuts. I have to keg away a dryad at one point, and eventually I manage to win a counterwar that leaves me with enough drain mana to play a morphling and still have a counter up.
Game two he can't find threats and I can't find answers. I sit there with no nonlands in my hand while he plays every cantrip in his deck. Eventually he finds Tog, but by now I've found some decent cards. I steal Tog with Control Magic, keg away a Dryad, and Control Magic the third.
9-2-1, 4-1-1
Round Seven: Aaron Kerzner with Tog
A little pre-game info: Kerz was badmouthing monoblue all day. "Oh my god dude, like, I can't lose to Monoblue, there's no excuse for my deck to lose to monoblue, my draw engine is just so fast and strong and yours is so incredibly awful, oh my god dude!" kept coming out of him. I obviously had to lay the smackdown.
Game one I play that spell everyone loves to play on their opponent's first turn upkeep. Kerz has no skank on it, and it yields me a couple decent cards, but nothing fantastic. Kerz Duresses me, and eventually resolves an Ancestral of his own. I resolve Ophidian and start drawing cards. Eventually Kerz tries to plant a Tog, but I have way more counters than he does, and Morphling joins the party shortly.
During this game, I am laying the verbal smackdown on Kerz. I'm really making a total ass of myself and having a blast doing it. Kerz deserves props for not reaching across the table and slapping me during game two.
In game two, I resolve an early chalice, followed by a pair of ophidians. I outdraw him ridiculously, and at one point my phids are turning sideways for damage when I have far fewer cards in hand than Kerz. I'm really only doing it to make the match as theatrical as possible. I wanted everyone there to be feeling how ridiculously hard those snakes were beating him down. "Can AK do that, bitch?!" I would bellow as the phids beat dow hard. Kerz just sat there and took it like a man.
11-2-1, 5-1-1
I enter the top eight as seventh seed, paired up with none other than the Brass Man.
Top Eight: Brass Man Andy Probasco, with Brass Man Tog (I call it that because it actually features a Brass Man in the sideboard. Take that, Phil's results.)
Game one, I keep a VERY suspect hand. You see, BrassMan is cursed with being unable to beat me in any circumstance. I was testing this theory with a hand that contained zero blue sources. I found my strips not doing anything and he gets a fairly powerful hand.
Game two we're neck and neck for a while, but he manages to claim superiority at one moment where he duresses me leaving me with a land and a morphling, four lands in play. He strips my island, knowing that even if I topdeck a mox, morphling can't hit because of my chalice at 0. I rip none other than Sol Ring, and the entire crowd just groans. Andy of course knew that was coming-- The curse cannot be broken.
Game three Andy drains my early chalice in to a Deep Analysis, leaving him passing the turn with a tapped Strip, tapped Trop, and tapped Sea. I poop out Back to Basics, and then strip the island he plays. Eventually I have chalices at 0, 1, and 3, and my phids are beating down hard. His deep analyses leave me able to kill him with minimal effort while he digs for the Echoing Truth and the counter backup to force it through.
Top Four: Old Dan of the Sea (Dan Rosu) wth Dragon
Game one Dan is very very cautious despite my slow and ineffective opening hand. Eventually he duresses me three times, and then animates the dragon with force backup.
Game two he's too cautious for his own good, and he gives me enough time to set up and win.
Game three he's playing cautious again, until one random turn he goes nuts with artifact mana and has duress animate animate and force/blue card. I can't have that much skank on spells, and Dan takes it away from me.
Scott Limoges and I are too fucking exhausted from playing monoblue all day to worry about who gets third and fourth. I explain I just want to leave with the sapphire, so I give him like twenty bucks so I can take the sapphire and he takes the walk. I knew I could have beaten him, but why bother at that point? I was dead tired and needed to go sleep at a hotel.
In the morning, we get dressed and showered and head up for the Highlander tournament. I of course forgot to bring my decklist, so I just threw my deck together from cards I had chilling in my deckbox.
Highlander Ravager Affinity
Arcbound Ravager
Arcbound Hybrid
Arcbound Stinger
Arcbound Reclaimer
Arcbound Crusher
Arcbound Worker
Triskelion
Goblin Welder
Myr Enforcer
Juggernaut
Trinket Mage
Disciple of the Vault
Waterfront Bouncer
Metalworker
Darksteel Colossus
Time Walk
Genesis Chamber
Cranial Plating
Lightning Greaves
Jester's Cap
Duress
Tangle Wire
Shrapnel Blast
Cursed Scroll
Ancestral Recall
Thoughtcast
Thirst for Knowledge
Wheel of Fortune
Timetwister
Tinker
Memory Jar
Brainstorm
Skullclamp
Phyrexian Furnace
Mystical Tutor
Demonic Tutor
Black Lotus
Sol Ring
Mox Ruby
Mox Sapphire
Mox Jet
Mox Emerald
Mox Pearl
Darksteel Citadel
Great Furnace
Seat of the Synod
Vault of Whispers
Krark-Clan Ironworks
Mishra's Factory
Tolarian Academy
Strip Mine
Mishra's Workshop
Ancient Tomb
City of Traitors
Glimmervoid
City of Brass
Flooded Strand
Polluted Delta
Volcanic Island
Underground Sea
I was missing a ton of stuff to throw this idea together. Props to Kyle Leith (Whatever Works on TMD) for hooking me up with a couple random cards the dealers didn't have. You'll notice I'm missing some important cards, like mana vault, mana crypt, lotus petal, etc. That's because I forgot where I put them and I was far too lazy to worry about looking.
Round One: Dave Mazza with U/B Tinker/Tog Control
Game one I lay the smackdown with big beats after welding out his colossus.
Game two I have him on the ropes when he finds the Disk/Time Walk combo.
Game three I'm never really in it, because his disk shows up mad early and owns me.
0-1, 1-2
Round Two: Phil Marfuta with Tendrils combo
Game one I have a good opening hand. I fight off his first turn tinker, but he ends up finding will-demonic-tendrils.
Game two I get killed on turn one. Ow.
0-2, 1-4
I'm out of contention at this point, but it's fucking highlander. I wanted to play all day.
Round Three: U/W/R fish
Game one he doesn't play much because I combo out with Skullclamp/Ironworks on turn two.
Game two I make a huge Crusher and apply beats.
1-2, 3-4
Round Four: Ed Demicco
Ed was too busy helping out Bryce to play, so I played against Carl Winter's 74 card Revenge instead. We only play one game though. He tinkers for Colossus, which I'm able to remove. I tinker for Jar and get welder, but he has fire/ice, and plow for my big crusher. He goes infinite with Crucible/Fastbond/Zuran Orb and I scoop.
Then we pay Dan Richardson to get us home, since Matt had already left. And we drive. And drive. And drive. And Dan buys some delicious food and drinks some coffee. And drives. And we drive.
Oh, then we get home. Brass Man crashes at my place because we didn't have time to get him back to Providence.
Uh, then I write a report. The end?
Props
Bryce, for taking the pain and giving out the prize support promised. It's scenes like this that make us want to keep playing. Next time, those of you who didn't support Bryce but could have should.
Props also to those who did support Bryce, most notably the Binghamton kids that helped organize this event, and Phil Marfuta.
Dan Richardson and Matt's mom, for doing all sorts of driving to bail me, Orlove, and Brass Man out of a bind.
Jim Demarsico for winning the belt, Simon Cooper for winning the sword
Kerz for taking my abuse like a man
Slops
Corey Canfield (Diaonic) for winning the booby prize. You shouldn't have drawn, man.
BrassMan's break lines, for earning their name by breaking.
Lenox. Bryce already went over this, as have I.
