[Report] Waterbury Report From Last Place

[daboo]

Waterbury Report From Last Place

EDIT: Again, I forget to include the music you should listen to while reading this Waterbury report.  I'm thinking Crew Slut by Zappa would be appropriate since Kowal managed to get to second base with me twice before the tourney was over.

Ray's tournaments are always a bunch of fun.  And, of course, Ray actually offers prizes for those who come in last place.  Few, however, actually strive for this title.  I am now a two time Waterbury loser. (First time here) 

I should preface this report with a little backstory about my involvement in magic in the past few months.  Thankfully, its pretty easy, since it doesn't exist.  I basically stopped playing once I started college, and I'd be lucky if I could name a single card from the last four sets.  But Waterbury always manages to pull me back into the game.

Now, my previous loss at Waterbury was just over a year ago...but several tournaments have passed in the W-bury since then.  Where have I been?

Well, I plain old missed the one prior to this.  School related issues, couldn't avoid this.  The tournament before that one is a tragic tale.  It is a tale of how I lost at losing.  I set out, with lastplace.dec, which had no chance in hell of winning games.  For the first some-odd rounds, everything went according to plan.  Then I got a bye, totally killing my perfect record.  At round 8, I played against the other bottom ranked player, who had also chosen to persue last.  And I won.  His deck was just better at losing than mine.  What really gets me, is I handed it over to him.  If I had wanted to, I had the chance to Demonic Consult for a card not in my library, ending the game nice an quick.  But I don't lose that way, its boring and cheap.  By failing at failing, I maintain that I was the actual worst player in attendance. 

But thats in the past.  On to this report. 

I couldn't decide what to build until the absolute last minute.  I've wanted to play Oath of Phage for quite some time, but I've never been able to get all the cards together, so that has yet to happen.  Instead, I brought an old trick I used when it was actually type 2 legal (yes, I played a variant of this in type 2, don't ask). 
The decklist looks like this:


4 Worldly Tutor
4 Wild Growth
4 Standstill
4 AEther Burst
4 Oath of Druids
4 Grip of Amnesia (thats fucking tech)
4 Rampant Growth
4 Wall of Roots
4 Wormfang Drake
4 Krosan Reclamation
1 Black Lotus
9 Forest
9 Island
1 Mishra's Factory

Sideboard:
Who needs a sideboard?


Right, so in case you missed the idea, if I can manage to get three Wormfang Drakes on the board at the same time, with no other creatures under my control, it causes an infinite loop which automatically draws the game.  I decided to play this the night before, and built it the morning of.  It is chock full of jankalicious tech, which just makes my day.  And theres a couple bad cards here and there. 

In Round 6, one of the people playing near me (didn't get his name) recommended Mask of Mimic, which I didn't know existed.  That would have been 1,000,000x better than the set up I have here, but alas, too little too late.  If you ever get the urge to play a deck similar to this (please, please, please let me know), use Mask of Mimic.

Also, my math for games and matches may be way, way off.  I'm writing this at 5 am, so gimme a break if theres some stupid mistakes.

Round 1
Dave, Playing Gifts
Game 1
I manage to get two land on the board before my life total equals zero.  Quality.
Game 2
Game two I was able to hold out a bit longer, not anywhere near pulling off the combo, but it did take me longer to die.  But in the end, 11/11s are just better than Wall of Roots. 
0-1, 0-2

Round 2
Paul, playing Oath
Game 1
He got to grab a couple big dudes thanks to this 1/1 token I had in play (I made sure to side them out for game 2).  Just when I thought I'd be able to do something,  Time Walk and more fatty beats.  alas, I perish
Game 2
This is the game where I get closer to pulling off the Drake Draw than I had in any games yet.  At the high point in the game, I had two Drakes out.  But when I have creatures, he gets bigger ones.  Which is bad.
0-2. 0-4

Round 3
Simon, playing Ravager/Disciple deck which I should know the name of but forgot cause I'm just out of it.
Game 1
I play a forest, and pass turn.  Thanks to Ravager, Frogmites, and Disciples, I don't get another. 
Game 2
Early game, I drop a Standstill.  I don't have any critters on the board, and with a Ravager and several artifacts, he very much has board control.  So he makes Rav bigger by sacing his artifacts.  I break the Standstill an bounce his dude, so he's left with one land in play.  Opps.  He comes back in a big way (because seriously, what is my deck going to do?) and two Disciples hand me my ass.
0-3, 0-6

Round 4
The God of Spite, playing BYE.dec
I am going for last place.  Meaning I want as few wins as possible.  And I get a bye.  I think I traveled around the room twice just complaining to people.  But no matter, it just means I need to play even worse.  I'm up to the task.
1-3, 2-6

Round 5
Chris, playing Oath
Game 1
We start out this game with a solid five turns of land-go.  I tried to play something, but it just wasn't happening.  He gets a Morphling out, and starts smacking me for five.  I bounce him a couple times (or maybe just once, I don't honestly know) with AEther Burst.  Yes, I know...maybe he didn't read phling close enough?  I dunno.  Eventually I got a Wall out, and later an Oath.  He oaths on his turn, and pops out a Spirit of the Night.  This game is over.
Game 2
This game his deck behaves a lot more like a normal Oath deck, and there are several big creatures on the board who don't like me much.
1-4, 2-8

Round 6
Dave, playing Control Slaver kinda deck
I'd like to preface this by saying that Dave deserves an award.  He was by far the most fun opponent I played against all day. 
Game 1
His deck is moving slowly but surely torwards a Slaver lock.  This game, my deck just works.  I get things I need, and before he can kill me with Pentavus et al, I manage to get three Drakes in play, alone.  DRAW.  Dave doesn't really know what to think of this.  I don't blame him, I mean, really.  I'm extremely pleased, because despite all odds, logic, and common sense, the deck worked.
Game 2
In this game, Dave wasn't gonna screw around, I've got a scary combo in my deck that he didn't want to see go off again.  Quick beats with tokens and Welders end me.
Game 3
Thats right, my only game three of the day.  And its a doozy.  He is closer than ever to getting the slaver lock, and I'm just as close to my combo, but time in the round is running out.  As we enter our five turns, I have two Drakes on the board, (one removing the other) and a Wall with two counters on it.  My last two turns of the game belong to him, thanks to Slaver.  I kill my wall during his turns, and its down to the fifth turn.  He can't kill me, but he has my deck at his command.  I have the third Drake in my hand.  He casts it, causing the second Drake Draw of the night!  If he didn't cast it, we would have ended the game in a draw anyway due to time, but this was just classy.  Dave, my hat is off to you.
1-5, 2-9-2

Round 7
Jason, playing Straight Burn
This deck consists of about 10 land, and 50 burn spells.  All of which are aimed at you.  Jason hasn't won a match yet today, but he wasn't aiming at last place.  Just a bad day.  Major props for sticking it out.
Game 1
I hit him a couple times with Factory, just because I can.  But my life total keeps decreasing due to various burns.  Life total goes: 20 > 17 > 14 > 4 > 1 > -1
Game 2
Second game is very similar to the first, except I see a lot more power this time around.  I guess there was a splash of blue in there for Ancestral, Walk, etc...
1-6, 2-11-2

Round 8
Robert Hannett, playing I-dont-feel-like-showing-up.dec
Thats right, my last game of the day, and my opponent is a no show.  Five minutes go by.  I now have an automatic game win.  I'm getting worried.  If he doesn't show then I get the match win.  Ten minutes go by, and I go up to Ray.  I let him know I can't accept these wins, and thankfully, he's cool with it.  Robert Hannett, if you had caused me to win by not showing up, you would have had hell to pay.  You're on notice, Robert Hannett[/i]. 
1-7, 2-13-2


I grabbed a couple slices of pizza during my bye, which I gotta say, were pretty sub-par this time.  Eh, nothing Fritos and Grape soda can't solve.

Last place prize?  18 SCG Tokens, which I gotta say are pretty sweet.



Alright, so, more or less, that was my Jan 28th, 2006 Waterbury tournament.  But, I'd like to recommend something for future events. 

A Bottom Eight. 
Think of it like the top eight, only in reverse.  After the normal rounds are over, the eight players with the lowest scores will move on to the bottom eight.
The losers advance to the next round, and eventually, one will prevail as last place. 
I would love to see this at some future tournaments, and any feedback on this idea would be great as well.

Props: Ray, my round 6 opponent Dave, Wormfang Drake
Slops: Robert Hannett, pizza place

[Evenpence]

Hilarious.  I'm glad people like you exist.

However, I'm not sure if your draw-combo works.  The drake says, "When this comes into play sacrifice it unless..." which means that you have the option to sacrifice it.  I know from playing Dragon that you can't continue an infinite loop (animating the dragon a billion times INSTEAD of the eternal witness in your graveyard) just to get a draw.  Now, if the dragon IS the only creature in your yard, and you cannot stop the infinite loop, then the match is a draw.

However, you could just sacrifice the drake that's coming into play. 

Great idea though, it's a hilarious deck design.  I love it.  As far as I'm concerned, those draws are wins for you.

[daboo]

At first I was a bit worried about that, but I've run it by a couple judges (both in T2 and T1) and none have had any problems with it.  But that could very well be because they were so shocked by the fact that anyone would do that on purpose...
Any judges confirm/deny this works?

[Zeke]

Next year you can play a dragon deck, but with no other creatures in the deck   Well, you can run squee, just have some way or removing them or not having them in the yard for when you go off.

[Nomad]

Waterbury Report From Last Place
Round 3
Simon, playing Ravager/Disciple deck which I should know the name of but forgot cause I'm just out of it.
Game 1
I play a forest, and pass turn.  Thanks to Ravager, Frogmites, and Disciples, I don't get another. 
Game 2
Early game, I drop a Standstill.  I don't have any critters on the board, and with a Ravager and several artifacts, he very much has board control.  So he makes Rav bigger by sacing his artifacts.  I break the Standstill an bounce his dude, so he's left with one land in play.  Opps.  He comes back in a big way (because seriously, what is my deck going to do?) and two Disciples hand me my ass.
0-3, 0-6

Yes, it was sad in many ways that the best hands I had all day were in this match.  I mean, I always for some reason have a bad matchup with Gifts, even though they don't have the maindeck Null Rods that I seem able to beat Stax through, and today was no exception, my first round I twistered the guy into Tinker, triple Force on my first turn, and got basically nothing in return, then he had a Charbelcher turn 2 game 2 with a Severance in hand...

Even my questionable wins vs Oath round 4 (where he failed to trample me through an Ornithopter) and Stax (Frogmites>1st turn Null Rod) round 5 didn't inspire confidence.

[Cross]

As always, the last place report lives up to high standards.

So hilarious.

Good job?

[Harlequin]

I was crying from laughter by the end.

Bottom 8 idea is perfect, just have to make the "bottom" prize more then the entry fee. I know quite a few people who would come knowing they have a finals waiting for them at either end of the spectrum.

Other Ideas:
Oath for phage would be sexy.
IllusionsofGrandeur-Donate, but without the donate?
play oath, but with no creatures and no gaea's blessing
Mono-red with Final Fortune, Warrior's Oath, and Last Chance x4. (2 mana "win"! broken!)

OR! the best, is you play a Dragon/CA/Donate/Oath hybrid!

I'll post a decklist link here soon, check it out.

[Jacob Orlove]

There are some stupidly easy ways to kill yourself, but where's the skill in that? Something like this should die turn 1 every game:

4 Blood Celebrant
4 Wall of Blood
4 Spoils of the Vault
1 Demonic Consultation
4 Cavern Harpy
4 Spatial Binding
4 Lim-Dul's Vault
1 Necropotence
1 Demonic Tutor
4 Dark Ritual
4 Cabal Ritual
1 Lotus Petal
1 Black Lotus
5 Mox
1 Sol Ring
1 Mana Vault
1 Chrome Mox
4 Chromatic Sphere
3 Darkwater Egg
4 Tarnished Citadel
4 City of Brass

SB: 15 Berserk Murlodont (pregame match loss for the win!)

[Glix]

I'm daves friend who came by round 6.  I have to say, your deck was hillarious, especially in action.  I come over, and I just started staring at the cards.  What was that wall doing?  Where did that drake come from?  Oath?  That combo was so great.  I serriously want to know why you didn't win most creative deck, because I didin't see anything cooler than this all day.

And this deck isn't supposed to win, its supposed to tie!  Just loosing takes no real skill, this took class.  Btw, ray was willing to give my brother a loss in place of a bye, so I'm sure you could do that next time.  My brother managed to steal second to last, after some successions and an anti-bye tec from ray.

Great job on the supperb finish!  :lol:

[Nazdakka]

At first I was a bit worried about that, but I've run it by a couple judges (both in T2 and T1) and none have had any problems with it.  But that could very well be because they were so shocked by the fact that anyone would do that on purpose...
Any judges confirm/deny this works?

I asked a similar question to this one in the rules forum a while ago. My version involved Twincast (I wanted to know whether I could produce drawn games if my Tide deck went wrong), but they're similar. The relevant rule was this one:

421.2. If the loop contains one or more optional actions and one player controls them all, that player chooses a number. The loop is treated as repeating that many times or until another player intervenes, whichever comes first.

That would mean that your combo works, providing that you have no other creatures in play when you set off the Drakes. Anything else in play gives you an option to end the loop, and so you've got to define an end point and it all resolves in the blink of an eye.

Edit: Congratulations on 2 last places! An idea for your next attempt: Animate Dead/Dance of the Dead/Necromancy on a Wormfang Crab with no other perms in play leads to an infinite loop. If you have no other creatures in your graveyard... draw

[Eastman]

I was your round 1 opponent, it was gifts not tendrils.

[StarOrc]

Depending on what you wanted your deck to accomplish.... There are two things I can think of... a Phasing deck in which your goal would be to phase out all of your permenants every other turn or Allowing your opponent to take infinite turns with Time Vault. Both would be interesting because with Phasing you aren't there half the time and with the Vault deck once you "Go Off" you don't need to be present for the rest of the game.

Just some ideas for next time...

[daboo]

Alrighty, I think I'm going to respond to just about everything, mainly cause I've got a lot of time to kill before my laundry gets done.

Hilarious.  I'm glad people like you exist.

Thanks, I'm glad I exist too.

Next year you can play a dragon deck, but with no other creatures in the deck   Well, you can run squee, just have some way or removing them or not having them in the yard for when you go off.

Certainly an option, but by no means a fun one.  One of the options I had going into this tournament was a deck that consisted of 60 land.  Now, I'm sure it'd suck, but its no fun.  Same thing with the Dragon combo.  It is much easier to pull off than the Drake, and not all that fun.

Bottom 8 idea is perfect, just have to make the "bottom" prize more then the entry fee. I know quite a few people who would come knowing they have a finals waiting for them at either end of the spectrum.

For sure, lets see if we can get this implemented, eh?

Other Ideas:
Oath for phage would be sexy.
IllusionsofGrandeur-Donate, but without the donate?
play oath, but with no creatures and no gaea's blessing
Mono-red with Final Fortune, Warrior's Oath, and Last Chance x4. (2 mana "win"! broken!)

OR! the best, is you play a Dragon/CA/Donate/Oath hybrid!

Oath of Phage is still my dream deck, but I never seem to be able to get all the cards for it.  If you haven't noticed, I'm on a budget, and my decks total value is under $10 (Oaths, Tutors, and Lotus proxied).  Someday, it will happen. 
Illusions without the Donate doesn't really change anything in the game.  My feelings about Oath with no critters / blessing is kinda like my feelings about suicidal dragon.  Sure, it'll lose, but it won't be all that fun.

I'm daves friend who came by round 6.

Dude, could you email this post to Dave?  I left his address at home...:-/

Just loosing takes no real skill, this took class.

Exactly, in case anyone has missed the theme here, it is that the deck needs to be fun and suck. 

I was your round 1 opponent, it was gifts not tendrils.

My bad, I corrected it.  As I said, I haven't played in a while, and they look the same to me.

Depending on what you wanted your deck to accomplish.... There are two things I can think of... a Phasing deck in which your goal would be to phase out all of your permenants every other turn or Allowing your opponent to take infinite turns with Time Vault. Both would be interesting because with Phasing you aren't there half the time and with the Vault deck once you "Go Off" you don't need to be present for the rest of the game.

See above.  It may be ridiculus, but it sure ain't fun.

[Gabethebabe]

See above.  It may be ridiculus, but it sure ain't fun.

If someone put a gun on my head and said that I had to create a fun deck that doesn´t win (for me the fun of playing Magic is solving the problems thrown at me and trying to find a way to win. I guess you´re trying to get your kicks in another way) would be a turbo-Biorhythm deck.
Something with mana creatures (Wall of Roots, BoP, ), fast mana (rituals, Petal, Channel), creature removal and of course the win condition Biorhythm. If you play it creatureless, it is actually a draw-condition.

[Jacob Orlove]

If you wanted to play it creatureless, in addition to the regular "generate mana and tutor it up" plan, you could also set something up with Spellweaver Helix.

[rvs]

If you wanted to play it creatureless, in addition to the regular "generate mana and tutor it up" plan, you could also set something up with Spellweaver Helix.

I actually have a workable decklist with that card. I was planning on taking it to Castricum instead of Draco-Plosion, but in the end I was missing a few cards, so I won the whole thing with Draco. ph34r ;P