[Report] Hamilton 10 proxy - Getting back in the saddle with UbaStax

[vartemis]

It starts with an email.  “Hey butthead, there’s a 10 proxy tournament in Hamilton next month, you goin?�  Um… yes? And so the saga begins… [cue star wars theme]

Due to work and other poor excuses, I have been really out of the vintage tournament scene in SW Ontario for a little over a year.  I even missed the last 2 Listowels.  I figured it’s about time to put my brain to the test again.  The deck I ALWAYS play is Oath; in some form or another.  Hell, I used to play with funeral pyres because they were just that savage, well until they printed that goofy one trick pony forbidden orchard.  I thought that I would take GWS for a spin, with a few metagame tweaks, but I kept getting beat by the stupid fish deck in our gauntlet, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.  With a little over a week to go, I was in a panic.  What am I gonna play?  Then a package arrives.  3 bazaars for my dragon deck for Listowel.  Mmnn… so crisp I swear I could still smell the stick of gum they came with.  I had to use them. My drains would have to get on without me.  But what deck?  I knew dragon would get owned, and I didn’t think Cerebral would do much better.  That only left one choice… no not Oshawa Stompy… [Cue that sound effect from those Philli-light commercials] UbaStax!

Ok. So I have a deck, and I have playtested it before for shites and giggles, but I really don’t know that much about sideboarding with it. Rather than look like I totally newb holding a sign like I belong in a Bob Dylan video, I discretely PM Evenpence and Vroman.  According to DicemanX, the metagame should be CS, Gifts, Fish, Oath, and some Stax.  Taking his advice with the other guys I have talked to, I am under the understanding it will go in order Fish, Oath, CS, Gifts and then Stax.  Evenpence is the first to message me back.  He basically tells me that Uba is probably one of the worst decks I could take to that meta.  Great.  I say f**k it and continue trying to figure out how to get this machinated monstrosity working like clockwork.*  Then I get Vroman’s message and he ingeniously shows me that I can work a manabase with white.  Damn… I wish I had thought of that.  So after a little tweaking with the sideboard and some numbers crunching, I come up with this pile:

// Artifacts
        4 Chalice of the Void
        4 Crucible of Worlds
        2 Granite Shard
        1 Mana Crypt
        1 Mana Vault
        3 Null Rod
        4 Smokestack
        1 Sol Ring
        3 Tangle Wire
        1 Trinisphere
        3 Uba Mask
        1 Black Lotus
        1 Mox Emerald
        1 Mox Jet
        1 Mox Pearl
        1 Mox Ruby
        1 Mox Sapphire
// Creatures
        4 Goblin Welder
        1 Gorilla Shaman
// Lands
        3 Barbarian Ring
        4 Bazaar of Baghdad
        4 Mishra's Workshop
        4 Plateau
        1 Strip Mine
        4 Wasteland
        1 Tolarian Academy
// Spells
        1 Enlightened Tutor
// Sideboard
SB:  2 Duplicant
SB:  1 Karn, Silver Golem
SB:  3 Pyroblast
SB:  3 Seal of Cleansing
SB:  3 Shattering Spree
SB:  3 Swords to Plowshares

Playtesting the deck was a wet dream.  The main decked enlightened tutor was a godsend.  There were so many sweet tricks to pull out by tutoring, bazaaring, and welding at the end of my opponents turn.  My 2 favorite plays while playtesting were putting a stack into play during my opponents EOT, putting a soot counter during mine, and giving him no time to plan.  After sideboarding, I loved tutoring and bazaaring a dup and welding it in against oath in response to a declared attack.

And now for something completely different; card explanations.
Granite Shards: I had tested them before, and wasn’t too pleased, but didn’t have the SB room for Tempers, Bolts, or Darts. Although I never actually used them during the tournament, I would still keep them in high rotation.
Gorrilla Shaman: I was originally running a 2/2 split with Rods, but elected for a 3/1 split when considering the amount of slavers I thought I would be facing.
Enlightened Tutor: great tricks with welders and bazaars, gets me any lock I want, and fetches seals post board.
Karn: Bad choice, but I still want to continue testing.  I wanted him in VS fish.
Seals: permanent to sac to stack, and great against oath and fluxes.

So with my deck in hand (I said deck, get your mind out of the gutter) I prepared to do battle.  I decide to try and relax and take my mind of the tournament by going to see the Mudmen at Norma Jeans on St Paddy’s, and, although a good show, I found myself doing mental sideboarding most of the night.  Mike Beuerman and I go back to Iain Auld’s appt to crash so that we can all drive up to Stratford to meet Denholm Harefeld and drive to Hamilton together.

The next morning, after some talking on the porcelain phone by someone who shall remain nameless, we take off.  It was a rather uneventful drive, other than accidentally leaving Mike at the gas station and booting across to Wendy’s to take a leak (hope those bounty bars were worth it), and we arrived with about 20 minutes to spare.  I whip out my neatly written “Official DCI Decklist Sheet�, much to the ridicule of my teammates, and proceed to wander around BigB’s because I can’t find the way downstairs.  They need a sign or something.  Oh wait, they have one.  Well they need a bigger sign then.

After a few seconds of standing around, we are paired up like it was some grade 8 dance and the battle begins. [Cue lightsaber SFX]

Round 1 – Stu playing Slaver
Game 1 - I dropped an early uba mask and I think it scared him as he didn’t have much mana up and thought he was screwed, so he scooped.
Game 2 - I got him in an early stax crucible lock and he scooped.  There was nothing amazing here. I didn’t see any of my sideboards either, so I didn’t get much testing on it.

1-0

Round 2 – John playing Hidden Shite (it’s my report, so I’ll call it what I want)
After feeling a bit cocky after what seemed like a relatively easy win, I meet up with this beast.  This deck fucking owned me.  I mean I should have been squawking like an Asian porn star in a piledriver.  He was playing some crazy ass metagamed deck that ran Hidden Guerrillas and Hidden Herd, and main decked artifact mutations. 

Game 1 - I was on the draw, and he dropped a first turn Guerillas.  I was dumbfounded.  Hey. Clark Kent, can you see my deck?  This guy must have been bangin’ Ms. Cleo, and I was the one feeling f**ked.   I spend at least 3 minutes during my first main phase trying to figure out what to do.  I decided the only game plan I had was to drop a first turn Stax off a Workshop and Mox and hope that I could ramp it fast enough to save my ass.  No such dice.  His second turn he drops a Hidden Herd and a Lavamancer.  I couldn't care less about the Lavamancer at this point because he grave only had a fetch in it.  He swings in for 5 with the herd.  My turn I ramp the smokestack to 1 and drop a bazaar, praying that I can draw something to save my ass.  I top deck a granite shard and b-ring, but it's not going to do shite for me right now.  He proceeds to beat my ass down FTW.
Game 2 - I side in 3 seals and 3 swords and 2 dups and take out the shards, shaman, 3 null rods, a crucible and welder.  I drop a turn 1 stack again.  He drops a turn 1 hidden herd.  Second turn I drop a turn a seal but had to play a land to do it, and so it’s no longer an enchantment.  His second turn, he drops a hidden ancient.  I seal it, but he gets another one out before I can get another seal, and I don’t see a single swords.  His turn he stacks the smokestack, and then artifact mutations it, and then sacks one of the tokens.  He then proceeds to beat my ass.  You know that scene in the Matrix where he has deja view with the cat, and then everyone proceeds to get their ass beat.  Yeah, just like that.

1-1
 
Round 3 – Wayne playing UB control with Memnarch (didn’t know till after)
Game 1 – I’m on the draw. He played a sea so I knew he had to be running counters of some sort.  I played a welder off a plateau to bait one and succeeded in getting a force. I then dropped a crucible off a lotus.  Turn 2 he played an island to get drain mana up, but my turn 2 I drop a strip, and then a welder after stripping his sea.  He scoops to the strip lock.
Game 2 - He screwed up and miscounted his mana; he tinkered out a memnarch with 1 mana short of being able to use it, so I welded it out for the mox he tinkered with.
2-1

Round 4 – Morsa (sp? Damn serial killer writing) playing Gifts
Game 1 - I ended up scooping due to time (40 minute game).  I realized after I shouldn’t have and just taken the draw.  I had ubazaar online, and had him pretty well screwed as he drew his colossus with the uba out.  Problem was I counted my library and had fewer cards then turns I needed to swing with my lone welder.
Game 2 - Ran into extra rounds, but also contained my boner of the day. I used 2 plateaus and a Crypt to cast a Stack which was forced, and then a Lotus to cast a tangle wire. I then realized I had put out a null rod, but it had been under my arm while I was tapping crap.  I promptly told him, as momma didn’t raise no cheater.  He called over a judge, but thankfully it was easy to recreate the game state, and it was both our fault for not noticing the rod.  On extra turn 3 he tinkered for the colossus, time walked into turn 4, and then recouped the time walk into turn 5.  I had him pretty well locked down game 2, and then he top decked a rebuild and I couldn’t do anything about it.  I am really frustrated about scooping game 1.

2-2

Round 5 – Scott playing Gifts
Game 1 - He made a huge play mistake.  Midgame, he countered a chalice for 2, but let the chalice for 3 resolve (SCORE!).  I guess he was thinking I was trying to cut off his thirsts.  He then casts tinker and sacks his mana vault.  He starts to search for the colossus right away, but then I tell him it’s countered.  He looks stunned, and I point to the chalice.  He tried to pull out the tendrils instead by recouping his DT, but then realizes that his bounce is all in his grave.  He scoops.  The other great play of the game is making him burn for 5 after draining a tangle wire and null rod and not having any drain sinks the next turn.
Game 2 - I get a quick stax crucible lock, and he scoops after I pyroblast his desperate gifts.

3-2

Round 6 – Iain playing FCG
I hate playing teammates (especially ones relatively new to powered tournaments) trying to top 8.  I knew helping him build his sideboard would come back to bite me in the ass.  For the record, I think a lot of things enjoying biting ass, particularly mine.

Game 1 - He goes first with turn 1 lackey.  I follow up with turn 1 stax.  He swings and drops a siege gang.  Shit.  He then drops a recruiter.  Turn 2 I drop a crucible, wasteland and ramp the stax.  Turn 3 he sacks a token to the stax and swings with everything, dropping a goblin of some sort.  He then drops a warchief.  I think he was unsure of whether I had decided to maindeck my swords as I was on the fence the night before.  My turn, I drop something, ramp the stax, and pass.  He sacks 2 tokens then drops a ringleader and 2 piledrivers and I scoop.
Game 2 -  I side in 3 swords, 2 dups and 3 seals, and take out 2 crucibles, 3 null rods, 1 uba, 1 bazaar and something else that escapes me.  Turn 1 He drops a lackey.  I play a plateau and pass.  He attacks, and I swords the lackey.  He drops another lackey, a chrome Mox and wastes my plateau.  I drop another plateau and pass.  He plays a warchief with a Mox Emerald. He attacks, and I swords the lackey. I drop a vault, sol ring, and Stax. I drop a strip and strip a mountain.  I have a crucible in my hand to play off the sol ring and plateau next turn. He top decks a shattering spree like the lucky bastard that he is and nukes the ring and the stax.  I am left taking damage from my vault while he swings away.  I even managed to top deck my final swords, but I was merely denying the inevitable. 

I could have asked him to forfeit as my tiebreakers were good enough to likely get me into top 8, but it was his first powered tournament and I didn’t want to take that away from him.  So he ended up 9th and I got bumped down to 13th.  After finishing a few trades, watching Hidden Shite get beat by MonoU, and some comics perusing, we headed off into the sunset in search of sustenance.  We found a Wendy’s, but apparently they were giving away koosh balls because everyone in Hamilton seemed to be there.  Luckily we were near the other door, so we had a quick powwow and decided that Hooters was a much better idea.

What I would change to the deck:
-I would put the shards sideboard and main deck the dups.
-I would switch Karn for the 4th pyroblast.
-I would consider pulling out the last shaman and a siding a null rod for 2 main decked seals.
-I would replace the extra slot in the sideboard with the balance.

I am glad with what I accomplished.  I think I did pretty well with the deck considering this is the first time I have ever played this version of the deck, the first time I have ever played in the city, and the amount of time that had passed since the last tournament I had played in.  I really think that the white splash is great for this particular type of metagame, even though a few of my sideboard slots seemed wasted.  No Oath showed up, and I didn’t play any fish, but they are normally there.

Props:
-Vroman for tellin me about splashing white.
-Evenpence for essentially daring me, even though I'm sure that wasn't his intention.
-DicemanX for the metahelp.
-BigBs for a great tournament.
-All the guys for making it into the top half.
-Iain in particular for coming in 9th in his first powered tournament.
-The Hooters girls, for playing twister.

Slops:
-BigBs for their Toronto prices on cards.
-Nameless, for calling me a pussy for not drinking, and then puking his brain out the next day.
-The cook at hooters, for forgetting the onions on my burger.

*There were actually 9 stax decks there, which is an all time high.  I was one of 3 Ubastax decks there, but the rest were almost identical to the mono-red version at the beginning of Vroman's primer.

j