Amazingly Accurate Nerd Test

[dandan]

As the captain of our hall chess team (I was the only volunteer that anyone had ever heard of), it was my job to get some real nerds into the real world (highlight - playing a game against one guy and he told me that it was the first time he had ever played chess with a human). I was a mere amateur nerd compared to these guys.

I managed to get one of them savagely slapped around the face as he pretended to be a mistletoe tree (wasn't a biologist) as part of a cunning plan for me to chat her up. He carried on playing chess but never ventured out socially again.

As a poor chess player I managed to get a winning record against good chess players by:

Arranging a match to start at 8.00 and positioning my opponent where he had a clear view of a television with Monty Python due to start at 9.
Played a match in a pub and came back from a bishop down as my opponent's obvious lack of experience beyond the fifth pint ruined his play (actually I lost that one - his captain, who could drink a bit, banned him from drinking, whilst my pride meant that I had to continue)
Positioned my pieces off centre and ever (horror) touching the lines on the chessboard. Nerds hate untidy positioning of pawns.
Got a draw against a very good player by doing weird moves designed entirely to make him think I had a cunning plan when in fact I didn't. At one stage (after 10 minutes of deep thought) he claimed to have seen my 'mate in 5' and settled back to defend. We drew that one. Although a nerd, he did pull two Dutch lesbians so did have the knack of seeing opportunities that mere mortals would miss. I guess real nerds do win in the end

 

[LotusHead]

You say your female bisexual goth nympho hottie friends are fun to hang out with, which is all fine and dandy if you don't like to be in the middle of all-girl-plus-you orgies. HOWEVER, would you like to be hanging out with them in the mall or whatever it is you people do? Or would you rather be in the middle of an all-girl-plus-you orgy?

Um...

Yeah, I enjoy "hanging out in the mall" or whatever it is we do.  They are called adventures.  Non-geek adventures (uh...your people?) involved hanging out with your dude friends watching "the game" (and I'm not talking Magic).

[kl0wn]

You say your female bisexual goth nympho hottie friends are fun to hang out with, which is all fine and dandy if you don't like to be in the middle of all-girl-plus-you orgies. HOWEVER, would you like to be hanging out with them in the mall or whatever it is you people do? Or would you rather be in the middle of an all-girl-plus-you orgy?

Um...

Yeah, I enjoy "hanging out in the mall" or whatever it is we do.  They are called adventures.  Non-geek adventures (uh...your people?) involved hanging out with your dude friends watching "the game" (and I'm not talking Magic).

Dude. Chill. Seriously.

And who watches sports? BOOOOOOOORING! Unless it's midget tossing or something along those lines.

Seriously though, you really need to calm down and quit taking my crap personally. Unclench the buttcheeks, you'll be alright. I wasn't persecuting you, I was advocating some hardcore ass-getting.

going to the mall with the girls will eventually get you in their pants, so its all a very calculated plan. They will think you are gay and as most people will know girls tend to very much like gay men as they think they can trust them.

This is a horrible, horrible thing, but it's absolutely true. I wish every human male would stop taking this approach to chasing skirt because:

1) It's terribly degrading. It is in fact the most degrading thing a guy could ever possibly do to himself. And before you all cry gaybashing, it's not in the heterosexual male's job description to act effeminate. Acting like a chick should be reserved for chicks. Same reason why men don't have ovaries, uterusses, philopean tubes and mammary glands. Blatant ass-getting is a natural process and who are you to mess with nature? Stop trying to act "just like one of the girls".

But the real reason why it's degrading is because it's deceitful, conniving and implies that you're not good enough to get ass just being who you are. Unless you're naturally a metrosexual. In which case, carry on, but don't start crying when your girlfriend starts making out with me in front of you. There's a reason why lumberjacks got all the booty back in the day; it starts with a "T" and ends with an "own".

Oh, and before anybody gets any ideas, the word "testosterOWN" and all derivations heretofore and forthwith are copyrighted. It's mine, you can't have it.

2) It makes chicks expect me to act like a girl. For fuck's sake, I'm not even getting into this one. But the next chick who buys me a pink golf shirt with the collars starched for turning up with the logic of "aaaaw...it'd look so kyeeewt on yooooo!" get's stuffed down the garbage disposal.

[jpmeyer]

Oh, listen to her!

[dandan]

A touch insecure if you ask me. Probably butch like the biker from the Village People....

I have to agree that acting gay is a low way of getting action. Surely getting them drunk is the honourable thing to do and doesn't involve you looking at blouses.

[LotusHead]

http://students.washington.edu/mmccain/nerdtest.html

This is a link to the "Amazingly Accurate Nerd Test" for those interested in bizarre, interesting quizzes.

This one is tough.

I was about 45% Nerd last year, and only 3% now. EDIT: (it was actually 37%.)

Hmmm....

Improvement?




EDIT:  this was actually supposed to be a link to the NErd test under the Serial Killer/Code Programmer thread.

I screwed up, this thread got bumped.

While I have your attention, take this test if you are nerd enough, or brave enough.  (If you don't, you will get laughed at by nerds for being a p#$ssy.

If mod's are ok with it, allow this bump to proceed under it's own thread.

7/10 for the Serial Killer/Programmer quiZ!

[nataz]

took it anyways,

40.476190476190474% nerd blood flows through your veins.

[Kasuras]

Because other people are already committing necromancy:

Because I thought Alan Quatermain should be spelled with an r as well while reading the answers, I think I qualify for the 100%. Nonetheless: 38.095238095238095%. The fact that I didn't know what was actually written on my ring was painful. Reading the "I don't know"-answers and knowing the innuendo was funny as hell too. (and probably even more nerdy!)

[forests failed you]

30.952380952380952% nerd blood flows through your veins.
 
I knew the star wars ones and magic ones.  I was really disappointed I didn't know the Kryptonite one.  I thought I would have picked that up over my past twenty two years.

[Matt]

When I got to the "15. "One Ring to find them" question I exclaimed, "Oh, fuck!"

54.76190476190476% nerd blood flows through your veins.

A lot of these, I was able to cross off 3 or 4 answers, but didn't know past that. Like the Istari one. Looking at the answers, I guessed correctly on 5, 17, 22, maybe 24 (I forget what I put), 33, 35, amnd 38.

FUCK I was sure I knew the kryptonite one, but I got it wrong. Lol I got CMOS wrong too.

[Jacob Orlove]

I've taken this test something like several years ago and then again maybe a year ago, and my score keeps going up each time, because I can remember random trivia like this.

[jpmeyer]

76.19047619047619%

Just like last time.

[Magi]

Got a draw against a very good player by doing weird moves designed entirely to make him think I had a cunning plan when in fact I didn't. At one stage (after 10 minutes of deep thought) he claimed to have seen my 'mate in 5' and settled back to defend. We drew that one.

Yes, this might be a bit old, but I missed this post before.

All I have to say is

L O freaking L!

[ELD]

21.43%  Guessing got me a 30 first time through. 

[Klep]

73.80952380952381%

I got an additional one or two right.

[Bram]

This might be fun. I took it in 2004, 2005 and now again in 2006. And yes, all of them in this same thread. And the thread necromancy award goes to...

Anyway, I scored 45% this time around. Last year, it was 55%. Pretty weird, really.

[Vegeta2711]

37% here. Man some of those questions were terrible.

[Anusien]

59.523809523809526% nerd blood flows through your veins.