Mooninites Attack Boston!! Highways and Trains Shut Down!

[Demonic Attorney]

An outdoor marketing campaign by Adult Swim promoting Aqua Teen Hunger Force has caused a terrorist panic in my hometown today, resulting the closure of major thoroughfares and public transportation lines. 

Police officials ordered the evacuation of nearby homes and businesses, referring to the potential for disaster if the Quad Glacier were ever to be unleashed on the hapless populace.  In other areas, emergency workers were on high alert in anticipation of imminent de-terraformation attacks.  Elsewhere, concerned residents looked on, dreading the advent of demons unleashed from the pits of hell to assist in the execution of a diet pill pyramid scheme.  And in the State House, Governor Deval Patrick was quoted as saying, "This is a hoax, and it isn't funny."

I beg to differ.  That several major parts of Boston's transportation infrastructure were shut down, stranding thousands of people at the behest of a police force conditioned to respond to "terrorism" like Pavolv's dogs, is nothing short of hilarious.  I hope this bit of absurdist comedy shows us that our culture is jumping at shadows in fear of the specter of terrorism, and this fear poses almost as much of a threat to our way of life as an actual attack.  All this over some magnetic lights and batteries.  Give me a break.

[Hi-Val]

I don't know if I can comprehend this with one hundred percent of my brain.

Personal aside to the Governor: Lighten up, Francis.

[Vegeta2711]

How pathetic. Just goes to show people will freak out over anything and have no idea the statistical improbability of ever being involved in a terror attack. I wish people would show this much concern when they drive like fucking morons.

[Klep]

The best part is that my understanding is these displays have been up for 2 weeks.

EDIT: News is someone has now been arrested in this affair.

[The Atog Lord]

We have at different points in our history been subjected to irrational fears. Terrorists are the new boogymen used to compell an otherwise semi-rational populace into going along with policies which reduce freedom and do little else. We awake from these spells of phobia only when the measures taken go too far. The with hunts continued while poor folks were being accused; but they ended soon after the wealthy were subjected to accusations. The Communist Scare lasted until high military officials were subjected to insane accusations. The current fear has so far made travel less pleasant, extracted some liberties from us, and locked up some Arabs. Now, it seems, a large corporation has run afoul of the phobia. I hope that history repeats itself and the idiocy of our current terror is revealed to the populace.

[forests failed you]

OMG!  I really hope that Mooninite terrorists don't attack my home state.  Does anybody know if they have found a connection between these 'Mooninites' and Al Queda?

[nataz]

I almost responded to Rich's post, but then I figured it would probably fall into the political discussion range, e.g., banned on TMD. Too bad because it was certainly a doooozy.

On the other hand, this is hilarious. I just watched the news conference live being held in front of the court house by the two "suspects" tee-hee-hee. They had been instructed by their lawyer (standing next to them) not to discuss the situation. The press of course won't let up, and keep shouting out questions until eventually the two rather scruffy looking characters start talking about hair styles, and only hair styles. They would be asked "How was your night in Jail", or "Do you feel like you were irresponsible", and the reporters would get back comments like "I really think the Beatles hair style, even in the 70's, was a throwback to the 60's", or "I think I'm going to let my dreadlocks grow to my knees". The best part is the reporters were getting pissed. Finally one reporter gets smart and asks, "Are you worried you will have to cut your hair if you go to jail"? As a reward, the defendants responded with "We think our hair is safe for now...[second defendant] of course, Hair today, gone tomorrow".

So good.   
Annoying the reporters for the Win.

[Vegeta2711]

REMEMBER 1/31!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4G-D0F4Q9yk

[Meddling Mike]

"I did know something I didn't.......but it wasn't that."
-Thomas Menino

[Hi-Val]

THAT IS NOT A HAIR QUESTION

[Vegeta2711]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zx2ytr2Oyv4

For those who haven't seen the news conference.

[Bram]

Deval Patrick was quoted as saying, "This is a hoax, and it isn't funny."

I beg to differ.  That several major parts of Boston's transportation infrastructure were shut down, stranding thousands of people at the behest of a police force conditioned to respond to "terrorism" like Pavolv's dogs, is nothing short of hilarious.

While "humor" is of course a fairly broad concept and can be defined in many ways, I would probably describe the situation you depict as "sad" or, more likely, "worrying" than, say, "hilarious".

Even so, as a promotional campaign, it appears to have paid off: I had never before heard of this aqua teen talking milkshake stuff, and now I have. GG.

[LotusHead]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zx2ytr2Oyv4

For those who haven't seen the news conference.

Imagine (cough) if George Bush or Dick Cheney or somesuch person did a conference like this. SNL material in the making!