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Puschkin
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« on: January 27, 2004, 12:46:10 pm » |
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20 reasons why Magic is better than sex
1.An eight second game of Magic is good!
2.You can always find someone to play Magic with you.
3.Your opponent won't ask you if you'll still respect them in the morning.
4.A game of magic ALWAYS ends simultaneously.
5.Magic requires no foreplay; you can just grab a partner and start playing.
6.Good sex can cost you $1000, but a Black Lotus will only cost you $250.
7.Protective card sleeves are easier to put on than condoms.
8.You can switch opponents as often as you like, and no one will mind.
9.A game of Magic can last for hours.
10.You don't have to cuddle after a game of Magic.
11.Brutally beating your partner is okay.
12.Protection really works.
13.Magic comes with a rulebook.
14.Parents don't go crazy when they catch their kids playing Magic with the neighbor's kid.
15.You can play Magic while eating a sandwich.
16.If your deck just isn't working, you can blame it on the shuffle.
17.Any number of people can play in a game of Magic, and everyone gets a turn.
18.When you pay for Magic, you're guaranteed of a good time.
19.You can always get your partner to play Magic with you in public.
20.When you buy Magic, you know it's fresh from the factory.
21.There's no stigma if you have to do the five-finger shuffle.
22.You can play Magic with another guy and nobody will bat an eyelid.
23.You get 100 sleeves for $10, and you can use them more than once.
24.You don't get arrested for playing Magic in public.
25.In Magic, *smaller* is better.
26.If your last game of Magic wasn't satisfying, you can start a new one right away.
27."Wanna play?" is a great Magic line.
28.Every game of Magic is different.
29.Being good in bed is nice. Being good at Magic can win you $20,000.
30.In Magic, when the white stuff comes out in the first few moments it really isn't a problem.
31.0-2 drop is still better than the wet patch.
32.There's no need to panic if your deck is green and black.
33.For a Magic player, swinging is de rigeur.
34.If your kid bursts in and asks what you're doing, you can teach it to play.
35.When you Rochester draft, you'll get a first pick eventually.
36.There's no need to stuff bills in your opponent's belt after you've paid the entry fee.
37.If your opponent has crabs and thrush, he can't pass them on to you.
38.You're no less of a man if you pay for your Magic cards.
39.You don't have to call your opponent the next day.
40.Play Goblin Game with ben wa balls and you can combine the two!
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Defiant Vanguard against the Phyrexian Invasion
"I cast Raise Dead, targetting Puschkin"
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Azhrei
Full Members
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Posts: 289
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« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2004, 01:06:03 pm » |
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15.You can play Magic while eating a sandwich.
And this is different than sex how? |
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"Firm footwork is the fount from which springs all offense and defense." -- Giacomo diGrassi, 1570
Paragons of Vintage: If you have seen farther it is because you stand on the shoulders of giants.
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iamfishman
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« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2004, 01:48:00 pm » |
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but a Black Lotus will only cost you $250. On what planet? |
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RIP Mogg Fanatic...at least you are still better than Fire Bowman!!!
I was once asked on MWS, what the highest I ever finished at a TMD Open was. I replied, "I've never played in a Waterbury. I was then called "A TOTAL NOOB!"
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Dr. Sylvan
TMD Oracle and Uber-Melvin
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Posts: 1973
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« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2004, 01:51:37 pm » |
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25.In Magic, *smaller* is better. Speak for yourself; I like my spells fat and sassy. |
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Puschkin
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« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2004, 01:52:35 pm » |
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Azhrei:
And that comment from the man who came up with the comparison of Keeper<=>OSE to sex with your wife<=>sex with your wild ex ?
iamfishman:
Obviously, the list is a tad bid old.
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Defiant Vanguard against the Phyrexian Invasion
"I cast Raise Dead, targetting Puschkin"
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Matt
Post like a butterfly, Mod like a bee.
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Posts: 2297
King of the Jews!
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« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2004, 07:49:54 pm » |
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29.Being good in bed is nice. Being good at Magic can win you $20,000. I bet it's a lot easier to get $20,000 being good in bed than being good at Magic. |
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http://www.goodgamery.com/pmo/c025.GIF---------------------- SpenceForHire2k7: Its unessisary SpenceForHire2k7: only spelled right SpenceForHire2k7: <= world english teach evar ---------------------- noitcelfeRmaeT {Team Hindsight}
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kl0wn
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« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2004, 12:09:37 am » |
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Earnings from hooking up with a wealthy, elderly widow > earnings from playing Magic at any level.
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Team kl0wn: Quitting Magic since 2005?
The Fringe: R.I.P.
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Dr. Sylvan
TMD Oracle and Uber-Melvin
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Posts: 1973
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« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2004, 12:29:20 am » |
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hooking up with a wealthy, elderly widow [...] I'm just looking for a girl who has an ego the size of a small planet and tits to match Baron von kl0wzhrei is into that big-titted old women gold-digging. |
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Azhrei
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Posts: 289
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« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2004, 12:32:51 am » |
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That comparision was Matt D'Avanzo, not me. And I will have you know that my lady does have both big boobs and a big ego, and I love her.  She even does the same cocky swagger that I do when she's winning at Uno or something. The arrogance is SO CUTE. |
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"Firm footwork is the fount from which springs all offense and defense." -- Giacomo diGrassi, 1570
Paragons of Vintage: If you have seen farther it is because you stand on the shoulders of giants.
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Grand Inquisitor
Always the play, never the thing
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« Reply #9 on: February 03, 2004, 12:44:19 pm » |
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41. You can donkey-punch your partner during magic..er, wait, nevermind.
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There is not a single argument in your post. Just statements that have no meaning. - Guli
It's pretty awesome that I did that - Smmenen
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Bram
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Posts: 3203
I've got mushroom clouds in my hands
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« Reply #10 on: February 05, 2004, 09:26:21 am » |
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Why does it say 20 reasons at the top of the list when there's 40? Anyway: 4.A game of magic ALWAYS ends simultaneously ROFL! 30.In Magic, when the white stuff comes out in the first few moments it really isn't a problem. Oh LOL! You're killing me |
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<j_orlove> I am semi-religious
<BR4M> I like that. which half of god do you believe in?
<j_orlove> the half that tells me how to live my life
<j_orlove> but not the half that tells me how others should live theirs
R.I.P. Rudy van Soest a.k.a. MoreFling
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thorme
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« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2004, 03:20:07 pm » |
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15.You can play Magic while eating a sandwich.
And this is different than sex how? Exactly...and even when doing both, you're still only covering 2/3 of the trifecta. Oh, and for those tempted to try the sandwich thing, note that Pastrami is the most sensual of the deli meats. |
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Team Short Bus
Lamenting Hasbro's destruction of the G.I. Joe brand since 2005.
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