synergize for success

[gongmeister]

Greetings once again my fellow TMDers.  I have not posted here since the new boards went live.  I return to you now because months of careful, meticulous metagame studies have culminated in deck innovation which I must now present to you all.

The metagame of today is a complex one in which decks must be able to quickly move into different roles.  Take Hulk, for example, which must be equally strong as both a control deck or an aggro-combo deck depending on the matchup.  A deck which falls squarely on Rock, Paper, or Scissors is no longer versatile enough to be tier 1.

I ask you now -- do you want your decks to become more streamlined?  Do you want your winning percentage, IN ALL MATCHUPS, to go up by at least 73%?  Do you want to be granted the coveted full member status?  Do you want to make your opponents beg for mercy and have them asking you to sleep with their girlfriends because you are so incredible?

Then heed my advice.

Go to your local card store.  Look for the glass case in which the owner keeps all of his most precious Magic cards.  Right next to the Black Loti, you will see a Legions common.  A common card in terms of its quantity, but truly a rare card when you consider it's ability to improve your deck.

That card is BESERK MURDOLONT, which we all know is one of the finest green creatures -- NAY, GREEN CARDS -- ever to see print.

Buy 4.
Run 4.
Win 4L.

Consider the value you get -- a 3/3 body for a mere 5 mana.  People say that if you spend 5 mana in Type 1 you had better JUST WIN.  Well I say to those people, have you ever seen someone WINDMILL SLAM A MURDOLONT ONTO THEIR OPPONENT'S NUTSACK AND NOT SUBSEQUENTLY DECLARE IMMEDIATE VICTORY?

Imagine a MURDOLONT hunting you in the jungles of the Tangle.   As you cower under a bush, you catch a glimpse of it through the trees.  Its fangs drip with the blood of a deceased MYR MANSERVENT.  Amidst its horns you see that it has strapped a Sword of Fire and Ice onto its head.  This makes you tremble further, because you know that the MURDOLONT needs no equipment other than its MANDIBLES OF DOOM to remove your nutsack.

You turn to run, but then you realize that your true doom comes not from one MURDOLONT, but from the fully unrestricted pack of FOUR FREAKING MURDOLONTS that are all coming at you, and they all have +1/+1 if you block them.

You twitch involuntarily as you are dismembered.  You cry out "Save me Rakso" but your plea for mercy goes unanswered.

In summary, why swing for two when you can swing for 4 (if blocked)!!!

[Jacob Orlove]

Stickied!

[raziel]

Gongmeister- Sir you have been gone for far to long. Welcome back! My sides hurt from laughing.

[Fastbond]

Poor attempt at being funny removed.  No wonder it takes Gongmeister so long to update us with the status of MURLODONT.
- Kowal[/color]

[Tenebrozo]

Could someone please post a link to the original MURLODONT thread? The search function hasn't led me to it.

[raziel]

@Tenebrozo
 
I think the original thread was called "best green creature ever" I've searched the archives and have yet to find it. Here is his original post thanks to Dr. Sylvan.

gongmeister wrote:
 
This really isn't much of a question.  Without any doubt, the best green creature ever printed, IN ALL FORMATS, is the Onslaught beatstick that is BESERK MURDOLONT.

I shall now lay out my argument for the supremeness of this card.

Begin with the aesthetics.  Look at the picture.  Do you quiver with a proper quantity of ph34r due to the large fangs protruding from the MURDOLONT's mouth.  No?  Think, then, of these fangs shredding your jeans and ripping off your nutsack.  You will ph34r the MURDOLONT when it comes for your nuts.

The people who say Mongrel > MURDOLONT are just wrong, and they will know this after they lose hardcorestyle in whatever tournaments they play in.

Wild Mongrel knows that he is inferior to the MURDOLONT.  The MURDOLONT comes for its nuts.  It requires a 2 card investment for the flea-ridden rabies receptacle to even trade with the MURDOLONT, and a 3 card investment for the Mongrel to survive with its nuts in tact.  (This math is due to the fact that when MURDOLONTS are on the board, they ALWAYS SERVE FOR THE WIN).  That's like an anti-Ancestral-FREAKING-Recall just to deal with the MURDOLONT.  And as you know, card advantage is very important to Type 1 magic.  FURTHERMORE, after you have de-Ancestraled yourself in order to contain the MURDOLONT, there will still be THREE MORE MURDOLONTS coming for you, because it isn't even restricted.

In conclusion, I will say this.  Michael Jordan was complimented for making his teammates better -- for raising the level at which they play.  In this manner, the MURDOLONT is much like MJ, as the MURDOLONT can be windmill-slammed down onto the table and instantly improve an entire board of beasts.

So much synergy, so little time.

[wuaffiliate]

http://www.themanadrain.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=14708&highlight=murdolont