MTG for Dummies

[Magi]

The inspiration for these came when I realized I would explain cards to new players in an almost literal context, rather than explaining the rules and mechanics of the game.

I thought they were clever, so I wanted share the ones I thought of.

I'm currently looking for more ideas for new cards to make.

[Dr. Sylvan]

Ladies and gentlemen, the new R&D templating team!

I suggest Swords to Plowshares: "BUST A CAP ON ONE MOTHAFUCKA."*




* : I sooo hope I got the colloquialism right. :[

[Gabethebabe]

The obliterate text should be on Apocalypse.

Counterspell? Who cares? Force of Will = NO

Merchant Scroll = "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ANCESTRAL"

Mindslaver = "BE MY SLAVE"

The text on Swords should just be "DIE"

Sundering Titan: "ARMAGEDDON THAT BEATS FACE"

Darksteel Colossus: "YOU´VE GOT 2 TURNS LEFT"

Decree of Justice: "COUNTER THIS"

Lightning Bolt "BURN MF-ER BURN"

Mana Drain: "SLUUUURRRPP"

Ancestral Recall: "WTF TARGET PLAYER? ME!"

Mind Twist: "WTF TARGET PLAYER? YOU!"

[Razvan]

Merchant Scroll = "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ANCESTRAL"

I believe most players did scratch out the text and wrote that on the card already.

[rvs]

Merchant Scroll = "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ANCESTRAL"

I believe most players did scratch out the text and wrote that on the card already.

Nah.... you're thinking of Mystical Tutor.

[Razvan]

Merchant Scroll = "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ANCESTRAL"

I believe most players did scratch out the text and wrote that on the card already.

Nah.... you're thinking of Mystical Tutor.

You should see Lam's Merchant Scroll... and mystical can theoretically still fetch Demonic Tutor, Yawgmoth's Will and Tinker... Merchant Scroll has such a single-minded purpose...

[Bram]

<3 the Null Rod

By the way, Will should really say ''I WIN". It's confusing this way