Oshawa Stompy? Oh no another crappy report.

So here I am two weeks from waterbury, and I have just been laid-off. I'm not sure if I want to play magic anymore, but I decide to let the gods of waterbury make that decision. Do well = keep playing, do poorly = sell all 2k worth of cards. So w/o any mana drains, FoW, Workshops, any u/x lands, I realize that I have to play a mono colored hate deck.

Looking at the format I realized that Oath was not going to be there with all the Enchantment hate running rampant. I hope that by this time everybodies' s/b is shifting the 4 slots of ench hate to 2. I also hoped that people were going to be playing the fastest decks they could find in hopes of outrunning the 3Sphere. Lastly, I hoped that everybody had just forgotten about null rod, what with being able to weld it out and all.

I was dead right.
Oshawa
4x Hidden Gibbons
4x Wild Mongrel
4x Basking Rootwalla
4x Elvish Spirit Guide
4x Arrogant Wurm
4x Squee, Goblin Nabob
4x Null Rod
4x Survival of the Fittest
3x Root Maze
2x Chalice of the Void
4x Bazaar of Baghdad
1x Black Lotus
1x Mox Emerald
1x Lion's Eye Diamond
4x Wasteland
1x Stripmine
11x Forest

Sideboard
3x Ground Seal
3x Ifh-Biff Efreet
3x Maze of Ith
1x Spore Frog (uber anti-oath tech)
1x Genesis
4x Oxidize

Pre-Tournament Happenings.
Find out Meandeck has a new deck, so what else is new? PTW asks for some S/B advice, and I give him my 2 cents. Look at Brassmans' Brass man colection and on the very last page point out a wax back that we were just talking about trading to him. He had no idea it was there. Watch a little T4 and wait for the tournament to begin.

Round 1
Workshop Aggro /w mountains for waste protection
He wins the roll.
Game one
Turn one 3sphere, I instantly realize I'm in a bad spot. Forest go. His turn stripmine cruicible. On to Game two
S/B -4 Hiddien Gibbons +4 Oxidize
Game Two
Quick arrogant wurm does the trick. not much to say but I oxidized his Juggernaut.
Game Three
Got an active welder and w/o the Ground seal in my deck, and he had 2 trikes, the writing was on the wall. He did miss a turn where he could have killed me but it wasn't enough. He did make one mistake, where he durressed, saw arrogant wurm and 3x squee, I had 3 lands untapped, and he cast Wheel of Fortune. Fortune smiled on him and crapped on me giving me no hate whatsoever.

Matches 0-1 Games 1-2

Round 2
Oath
He wins the roll
Game one
Akroma does her job to my face, little chance game one anyways.
-4 Null Rod -1 Survival of the Fittest/ +3 Maze of Ith +1 Genesis +1 Spore Frog.

Game Two.
Spore Frog swings for Lethal, having done 14 damage.

Game Three
Make a huge play mistake, I have open Spore Frog and and Maze of Ith and I forget to Maze the Akroma.

Matches 0-2 Games 2-4
About this time I realize that all of connecticut hates me, due to an unfortunate incident involving two round 2's, and so I am preparing myself to sell all my cards after this next round that I lose, but no the god's enjoy playing with mortal's don't they?

Round 3 (A most assholish incident occurs)
U/W angel thing like EBA Minus the black.
He draws 4x Orim's Chant and 4x Abeyance, but alas they can not slow the bleeding. (side note: he would abeyance during my upkeep with squee's ability on the stack to prevent massive Mongrel damage)
I could see that he was nervous with him being paired down and had lost game one, so I took advantage of it in game two.

S/b -4 Null Rod +3 Ifh-Biff +1 Genesis
Assholish Event #1: I fake rules lawyer him, he casts mystical tutor and places it in his graveyard w/o searching. I yell Judge and say "Judge isn't it true that in a higher level enforced tournament if a player had placed mystical tutor in his grave w/o searching, it acts as though he just searched his library and failed to find anything? Not that I'm gonna hold it to him to do that, but is it?" The Judge agreed with me and My opponent went on to flub a few times during the match.
He gets an active angel early but I get Ifh-Biff and it hurricanes enough times for him to see the writing on the wall.

Matches 1-2 Games 4-4
Round 4 GAT
I win the Roll
Game one
I get the early beats= he gets the early demise.

S/b -4 Null Rod -1 Root Maze / +3 Maze of Ith +1 Genesis +1 Spore Frog
He does very little but drops 2x togs and a dryad. I keep up the pressure with guys and spore Frog out on the board. He sees two attackers: Wurm and Frog and swings with one of his three guys. I have 2x lands and 2 guys. I decide to take it, and he passes the turn, but I have effects. Activate bazaar of baghdad draw two discard squee, squee, arrogant wurm. Madness on the stack Remove ESG from the game and madness it into play. My turn untap upkeep, return squees, draw, swing Game

Matches 2-2 Games 6-4

Round 5
Jacob Orlove playing the MeanCombo.dec
He wins the die roll.
Game one
he drops a mox and says go
I drop Wasteland go
He drops Chromatic Sphere
I drop Null Rod

No S/B
Game Two
He goes first
I mulligan down to six
He does the combo thing and falls short only doing 16 damage to me. Unfortunetly I have to do 36 dmg to him now.
I ESG a root maze into play, I ESG a Rootwalla into play, and play Chalice for zero
We Play draw go for a couple turns, while I build up my mana base and drop null rod. I can see him prepping it all for the win. He passes the turn knowing that winning is two turns away, just a land grant away. I topdeck Wasteland and play it.
He could have won if any one of the three of the pieces of hate were not on the board.
He entered his scoop phase after a long deliberation.
I totaly lucked game two, not gonna lie.

Matches 3-2 Games 8-4 by this time I'm clawing my way out of the bottom bracket one man at a time.

Round 6
EBA Brandon Wentworth
I win the roll
I destroy him game one, so fast can't remember what I did but the life ticks are 19, 18, 17, 12, 7.
No idea what I sideboarded here

Game 2
He keeps a hand of waste waste engineered explosives and some blue cards.
I keep some hand that has first turn Rootmaze and rootwalla.
He drops waste and passes. I drop forest ESG and drop rootmaze and and Rootwalla. I apply the early beats when he drops Balance wiping out my creatures it wipes out his hand and his manabase with me having only one forest he keeps Wasteland fearing bazaar. His balance was kind of enough to force me to discard 2x Basking Rootwalla. I swing again and he drops waste and says go. I drop my own waste, tapped because of Root maze, and at this point I think hes gonna waste the waste to save a real land. I swing again and pass. He drops a Fetchland and says go. I have end of turn effects, but I realize that the more time I give him before my upkeep the more likely it will be that he sees the waste about to toast his only shot at colored mana. I gamble and put another rootwalla into play off a mongrel. My Upkeep, waste the fetch, which triggers the, oh shit response. By this time I have 3x squee so the mongrel is pretty dangerous, and he concedes. Later I point out his mistake and he does the "oh fuck im such a noob".

Matches 4-2 Games 10-4
At this point I realize that I have done something amazing, I not only fought back from 0-2 but to 4-2 w/o a game loss. I am starting to play the decks that fear the Hate more and more. I chat it up with my friends Mike Panas, PTW and a few others. Look at the breakers, and realize that I will need 2x 2-0 victories for a shot at the T16. Round 7 is called and I check for my opponent...... Mike Panas. My playtesting partner, the only deck in the entire tournament that I fear with all the board control, and creature hate.
We decide to play it out, but my hearts not there and in order for him to make it he has to 2-0.
I make dumb mistakes and after about 15 minutes I give him the match. I can't play at all by this time and I'm wicked pissed. But thats the way it happens

Matches 4-3 Games 10-6

Round 8
Brassman playing TPS
I whoop him first game, but we are having fun and Just for the hell of it im keeping track of his storm count for him.
Game two he goes off turn 2
Game three he boards in his secret tech against aggro, Brass Man. He draws it and plays it not realizing that there is Root maze and Null rod in play. Quoted as saying "worst brass man ever."

Matches 5-3 Games 12-7

Slops:
Oh ho ho me being an asshole.
Me being dumb at 1:30 in the morning having Mike Panas get going the wrong way on I-84.
Me making like 20 play mistakes.
Me being my usual self and acting sarcastic to smmenen about his deck, and he took it to heart so I owe him an apology. Sorry Smmenen.
And all you losers that thought that Oshawa was dead, w/o illdawg.
Not staying for the after party festivities.
And the crummy dealer that offered me 60 bucks on a library right after he said he could easily sell it for 100$. As soon as they started looking at it my Moronmeter went off. Everybody has a moronmeter, it's between the Pointer/Fore and the Ring Finger. The higher it raises above the other fingers the greater the moron that your dealing with.

Props:
Realizing that not eating gave me and edge 2 fold. First: it made me focus on keeping sharp, Second: helped me get a buzz after one 5 dollar beer.
Mike Panas for adleast representing us
Spore Frog for winning me a Tropical Island for play of the day, beating out, selling magic packs out breasts, barely. Sorry Diana.
Team Shortbus for being wicked cool, and Team Meandeck for being innovative with their deck design.

Peace.