Help Me Make My Dream Creature: Part 1

[SpencerForHire]

So anyone who knows me knows I'm a Black/White mage at heart.  Since the very beginning of all the invitational card talk I got thinking as to what creature I would make and came up with something pretty nifty (IMO).

Now I know this isn't exactly a vintage playable card but it is the card I would make soo I would love the community to help me perfect it.

Here is what I have so far...

?

Creature - ?
At the beginning of your upkeep you may reveal the top card of your library, if you do lose life equal to it's converted mana cost; all other creatures get -X/-X where X is equal to the life lost in this way.
Whenever a creature is put into the graveyard gain 1 life.
P/T: ?/?

For Part 1 I would just like to make sure my creatures abilities are correctly worded.  Can I get some help on this please?



Note:
* Part 2 will be a P/T vote.
* Part 3 will be a creature type vote.
* Part 4 will be a naming competition.
* Part 5 (if it happens) will be a flavor text competition.

[wiley]

I would change it to read more like this:

At the beginning of your upkeep you may reveal the top card of your library, if you do you lose X life and all other creatures get -X/-X until end of turn where X is that cards converted mana cost.

Also the precident for a two color three mana creature is 3/4

and I vote zombie cleric.

and for flavor text:

"I found religion" - Hanz, the zombie

[SpencerForHire]

I would change it to read more like this:

At the beginning of your upkeep you may reveal the top card of your library, if you do you lose X life and all other creatures get -X/-X until end of turn where X is that cards converted mana cost.

Like I said this is just part 1 so you'll have to hold your horses a bit.

Seems like a better read actually so...

?

Creature - ?
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may reveal the top card of your library.  If you do you, you lose X life and all other creatures get -X/-X until end of turn, where X is that card's converted mana cost.
Whenever a creature is put into a graveyard from play, you gain 1 life.
P/T: ?/?

I like this much better, if there are any suggestions on this before I move on to part 2 please let me know.. (I suppose balancing issues too).

[Nydaeli]

I'll try to fix the templating a little bit:

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may reveal the top card of your library.  If you do you, you lose X life and all other creatures get -X/-X until end of turn, where X is that card's converted mana cost.
Whenever a creature is put into a graveyard from play, you gain 1 life.

[andrewpate]

You want it to be a "may"?  This would differentiate it from Dark Confidant in that one of the key drawbacks of that card is the extent to which it can become a liability if you get low on life.  Making this optional also allows you to run other creatures, since you could choose to do the Mutilate thing only when you're at a disadvantage.  This will restrict the cmc-to-p/t ratio you'll be allowed to use pretty stiffly, with 3 for a 1/1 probably being at the very high end.  If it's non-optional, though, I'd be comfortable making it much more aggressive.

[SpencerForHire]

I was debating the May vs forced.  Mayhaps that will be left up to the community..