TMD 13 TOP 16 REPORT, WAR MAMMOTH >96 PLAYERS

Amazing decklist:
1 adarkar wastes
3 wasteland
4 mishras workshop
2 gemstone mine
4 city of brass
1 tolarian academy
1 bazaar of baghdad
1 strip mine

5 mox
1 black lotus
1 sol ring
1 mana crypt
1 mana vault

1 sundering titan
2 master transmuter
4 goblin welder
2 gorilla shaman
2 duplicant
1 triskelion

1 trinisphere
3 null rod
1 chalice
3 smokestack
3 uba mask
2 crucible of worlds

1 time walk
1 ancestral recall
1 crop rotation
1 relic of progenitus
1 choke
1 balance
1 tinker
1 seal of cleansing
1 BETA WAR MAMMOTH

sideboard:
2 seal of cleansing
2 rack and ruin
3 pyroblast
4 yixlid jailer
3 thorn of amethyst
1 relic of progenitus

ROUND 1:
goblins with black
G1:I win the die roll, I go turn 1 time walk, turn 2 tinker for trinisphere turn 3 smokestack and keep him under 3 lands, he scoops.
G2:he drops turn 1 goblin vandal + chalice 0, I build up a few lands and take the beats as he puts out several goblins. I end up dropping balance but he draws ringleader and rebuilds his army. I am 1 mana short of triskelion, but chump block several goblins with yixlid jailers that I boarded in specificly to block lackeys. End up not drawing the mana source and I die a few turns later.
G3: I drop t1 smokestack off mana crypt and shop, he plays turn 1 lackey and chalice. I eventually ramp stack enough to clear both of our boards but I'm holding 5 land to rebuild. He plays 2 lands which both get wastelanded/strip mined. Eventually win the game with master transmuter and duplicant in play.

ROUND2:
MY OPPONENT DOESNT SHOW...W T F, FREE WIN.

ROUND 3:
Oath with krosan rec/tendrils kill.
G1: he wins die roll, duress on my ancestral. I time walk turn 1, then crop rotate a land into a shop to drop a smokestack. Next turn I drop uba mask + welder along with relic of progenitus. I monitor his draws to make sure he doesn't get anything significant but I am a little puzzled when he flips hurkyls recall to uba and then casts it on himself. I end up getting a master transmuter online and find a triskelion. I could have killed him on my turn but if he was holding a bounce spell it would have fucked my board position completely. On his last turn he has a tendrils for 10 on the stack with no cards in his hand so in response I ping him for 2 and the triskelion for 1, weld the trisk in hit him for 3, then master transmute the trisk out and back in to play for 3 more and kill him with tendrils on the stack.
G2:Thinking he's playing some weird 5c tendrils deck I board out my seal of cleansing and my 2 duplicants. I do get to play my WAR MAMMOTH this game, however I lose to Oath followed shortly by akroma and the giant flying dragon

G3:I play turn 1 smokestack, he storms for 5 on his opening turn and plays a grim tutor but is 1 mana short of comboing off with yawg will instead he has to play turn 1 oath with an orchard. On my turn I add a counter first then sacrifice the orchard token. He plays hurkyl's recall with 2 orchards, on my turn I draw seal of cleansing like a champion and it resolves. Oath dies. On his turn he drops pithing needle on welder, I drop stack again and start to attack with orchard tokens eventually I drop a welder with triskelion. He finds another oath where he's at 14 and I'm at 10. On my turn I hit him for another 7 damage with triskelion and 3 orchard tokens, he has to sacrifice the needle to smokestack but oaths up akroma and bats me for 6 I go to 4. on my turn I attack with trisk again and 3 orchard tokens, he blocks trisk i shoot him for 3, he's at 1 life, I weld trisk back in and kill him when time is called.

ROUND 4
Jeff greene with painter
G1:He drops turn 1 land 2 moxes and painters servant, I go turn 1 uba mask and it gets forced pitching sundering titan. He doesn't do anything turn 2, I drop gorilla shaman and kill his 2 mox, eventually get welder and bazaar working and he scoops.
G2:I draw absolute dogshit and lose to an ingot chewer and about 7 counters in his hand.
G3:I fuck this game up royally. I have an amazing opening hand of turn 1 smokestack with shop and 2 moxes along with gorilla shaman. I also have turn 2 sundering titan because I'm holding tolarian academy. so, I drop turn 1 smokestack and on his turn he evokes ingot chewer to kill it. That leaves me one mana short to drop the titan turn 2. So, on my turn I draw master transmuter, and like a moron I use tolarian + 2 moxes leaving shop untapped. His board is 1 island + mox ruby, I should have used the workshop to cast it and killed his mox so I pay the price when he goes untap, play land, rack and ruin transmuter and my mox ruby. I lose like 10 turns later after he draws a million cards and builds a board position while I draw worthless pyroblasts without finding another land for 6 turns.

ROUND 5:
Reid with TPS.
G1: he wins the die roll and plays turn 1 necropotence and draws 10 cards. The only piece of disruption I have is null rod so I play that on my turn. On his turn, he untaps plays a land, chain of vapors null rod, drops a bunch of artifact mana including lions eye diamond and casts yawg will with 1 card left in hand. He pops Led in response and discards minds desire into his graveyard. I point to necropotence and remind him it gets removed from game. So, he mana burns for a bit and sets 6 cards aside with necro and then chain of vapors it so he can get a draw step, but he is only at 1 life. He doesn't find any bombs to get back in the game after I drop null rod again, and eventually attack him for 1 with a master transmuter. After the game he realized he should have chained his own necro then sacc'd a land to target my null rod, he would have had a storm count of about 12 for minds desire.
G2: I had a ridiculous hand that included turn 1 thorn of ameythyst then turn 2 lotus + gorilla shaman, welder, and uba mask. A wasteland and triskelion finish the job shortly after while locking him out of relevant draws with uba/welder.

ROUND 6:
Dan with blue/black faerie fish with jitte
G1:he goes first with land mox lotus jitte cursecatcher and the black faerie enchantmant that gives him 1/1 faerie every turn. I think thats the best possible opening for his deck. I drop a null rod to deal with the jitte but I just get overrun by flying faeries.
G2: I have turn 1 crucible to deal with any waste effects, he gets the almost the exact same opening of lotus mox jitte cursecatcher but not silly black enchantment. I drop a seal of cleansing before the jitte gets out of hand but he ends up gaining 4 life. He had 3 1/1 faeries out and I drop an uba mask while I'm building land but I haven't drawn into any bombs yet. I'm getting beat for 3 a turn for 2 turns and then thats when he draws a card instead of revealing for uba mask I hadn't been paying attention to stop him so I call a judge over. They gave him a game loss for drawing an extra card, my opponent was certain he had the game locked up, but it was way far from being over as I was only getting tickled by 3 faeries. It's a shitty way to lose a game, but then again so are deck registration errors, and I've had that happen to me only 1 time and I learned from that. I can guarantee he will never forget about uba mask again.
G3:I get uba mask out early, and I am getting beat again by 3 faeries for several turns. I find a bazaar use it, but get nothing decent, it gets wastelanded. I keep drawing blanks and have 3 uba masks in play, he gets a hurkyls and hits me with it I'm down to 4 life from faerie beatings and draw something relevant finally, a crucible, I replay the bazaar that turn and draw duplicant, triskelion, and something irrelevant, I have enough mana to play the triskelion so I take out his team with it, and eventually stabilize at 3 life after I drop a welder.
It was a tough break game 2, but like I said it was far from over and could have gone either way, so overall it was still a good match.

ROUND 7:
draw in at 6-1-1

My teammates chris hatcher and THE FUTURE both finish 5-2 and end up 19th and 21st place. The fact that Hatcher does so well while not even playing magic unless I build him a shitty deck to bring to a TMD tournament says alot. He is a lucky bitch. He has to be, he beat an ichorid player with MEMNARCH. We are first place in the team competition after the swiss so we go over to collect our trophy, but no, top 16 counts toward the team competition now. The other 2 times we've won it I didn't really remember it being done that way, but oh well.

So top 16 is announced and I have to play fucking matt fucking mcnally who I have never beaten in a match of magic. It is a curse that has been around for at least 5 years, I have never EVER beaten him. I always draw jack shit, and he draws these ridiculous hands that just win.

TOP 16:
matt mcnally with horseshit blue
G1: I DRAW SHIT, MCNALLY HAS THE NUTS, I LOSE TURN 3 to key/vault
G2: I DRAW LESS SHITTY, BUT MCNALLY HAS 7 MANA ON TURN 1, AND CASTS 2 HURKYLS RECALL'S ALONG WITH YAWGMOTHS WILL, I LOSE ON TURN 4.

You might think I an exaggerating things when I say I have never beaten Matt Mcnally, but its no joke, I just get unlucky as fuck whenever I'm paired against him. But since he is still a buddy I'm glad he beat everyone else. He was long overdue for a win DESPITE BEING A DOUCHE.

It was fun coming out to these tournaments once a year or so, so many people come out of the woodwork. Even outlaw showed up looking like he just crawled out of a cave in afghanistan.

So sad that a War Mammoth could have been on the next playmat if only I wasn't paired against McNally in top 16. There is no way possible I was losing to anyone else.

I do like the fact that I cast tinker exactly the same amount of times that I cast war mammoth. ONCE. Clearly War Mammoth needs to be restricted.