Perhaps simply using Whipcorder is better.
Well, using
Avacynian Priest certainly is.
Beyond that, not sure how much you care, but even after Worship is removed, you live until they deal that last point of damage. With this card, if it's keeping you alive, you go when it goes.
Maybe retemplate to the below?
"If you control a creature, any time you would get enough poison counters to have more than nine, you instead get enough poison counters to have exactly nine."Feels clunky, but definitely a closer match to the card you're mirroring. Either way, you should definitely reword the first clause.