Chat Room Sex

A friend of mine sent this to me recently. I had seen this once before but still find it hilarious.

Chat Room Sex

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14: Hey...

bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.

bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

bloodninja: Baby?

_____________________________ ___________________________

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli3: thats it.

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

_____________________________ _____________________________ __

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****

eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

_____________________________ _____________________________ _

chat room guy: Hey Kate, I saw you on the hs chatroom
chat room guy: Your pretty funny

chat room girl: I don't remember you.. but thanx

chat room guy: Wanna cyber?

chat room girlK, but don't tell anybody
chat room girl: Who are you?

chat room guy: I graduated two years ago. I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot. Right now I'm going to Auburn
chat room guy: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my new Sebring

chat room girl: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..

chat room guy: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order

chat room girl: Haha! OK
chat room girl: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.

chat room guy: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?

chat room girl: I want everything, baby!

chat room guy: Is this a delivery?

chat room girl: Umm...Yes
chat room girl: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...

chat room guy: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.

chat room girl: Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!

chat room guy: You can't hurry good pizza.
chat room guy: I'm on my way now though

chat room girl: So you're at my front door now.

chat room guy: How did you know?
chat room guy: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
chat room guy: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven

chat room girlooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold.
Warm me up baby

chat room guy: So you're still in the bathroom?

chat room girl: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.

chat room guy: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....

chat room girl: What the f*ck?
chat room girl: You perverted piece of sh*t
chat room girl: F*ck