Giving Unsolicited Advice

[Zhalfirin]

I purposefully left out of the middle-of-the-spectrum answer because I'm curious which direction people lean toward.

I am running this poll because I believe each strategy has a downside.  What do you think?

[jpmeyer]

I say give it, but it's also all in the phrasing, word choice, and execution.

[Dr. Sylvan]

I think you should hold back unless it is a very unusual circumstance where the person needs a serious dose of "calm down; think rationally" that they are not going to get another way before they do something with serious consequences. Otherwise, I endorse minding one's own business.

[st00mie]

Depending on the topic, I don't even give advice when asked.  It usually just ends up with them being critical of your advice; especially with Magic.  Let people deal with their own shit.

[Saucemaster]

Hold back.  It's not like people listen to advice even when they ask for it, right?  So unless it's something pretty major--like, "listen, I don't care if you're wearing rubber soles, it's not a good idea to see how long you can balance on the third rail"--I say stay out.

[Azhrei]

Give it, but make sure to give it in such a way as to make it sound like the other person is a failure for not having thought of it him or herself.

Actually, what JP said.

[Ric_Flair]

Those wise Supreme Court Justices:  certain forms of otherwise appropriate speech would be inappropriate because of the "time, place, and manner" of the speech used.

[Smmenen]

The correct answer is, of course, it depends.

Taking one extreme for the moment - one fact of life is that human life is short and sweet.  If human beings had a stubborn propensity to hold back advice, broadly speaking, it would be difficult to get very far.  Passing on advice learned saves someone else the embarressment of the same predicament - especially when well explained.  A parent telling a child not to cross the street without looking both ways is not terribly useful.  Explaining the risks that one could get hit by a car and die gives the advice substance that one can apply and integrate into a broader framework of knowledge.

Giving advice without explaining that advice is often just as bad as not giving advice at all.  Which leads me to the second point.

Advice is most valuable when a person is qualified to give it.  One should be more inclined to give unsolicited advice when one is well-informed on the subject matter or area.  That doesn't mean one should, it is a factor to consider.

If people didn't give out advice, message boards like this would not function.  Advice, unsolicited, is an important ingredient in human interaction.  

Perhaps the most important factor in whether to give advice or not is the person to whom you are giving it.  Holding back advice that you deem important to someone you care for or consider a friend probably costs them more than they lose through the experience of learning it themselves.  Particularly when the primary lesson isn't the experience itself.  

Finally, giving out advice when the person whom you are giving it to isn't lkely to take it well or listen to it is a factor weighing against it.  Particularly when the issue isn't very important or life-threatening, then it probably isn't worth your time.  

Frankly, my opinion Christiaan, is that I'd like to hear what you think more often.  Anyone who asks a question as thoughtful as this probably has some advice worth hearing.

My 2 cents,

Stephen Menendian

[Methuselahn]

If it is short, then give it.  People often become bored with remembering long winded advice, and thus is wasted energy.

Except in the USA, don't give advice and NEVER, NEVER apologize.  This only leads to lawsuits.

[Jacob Orlove]

I like how everyone who posted in this thread is giving unsolicited advice. :D

[PucktheCat]

I don't know if it is unsolicited exactly.  The thread seems to invite comment.

Anyway, I tend not to give unsolicited advice.  There are exceptions, but I think most of the time people react badly to it.

Leo

[Dr. Sylvan]

It also matters how well you know the person. If you've known them a long time or have other reasons to believe they'll take your advice seriously, that's on one hand a good reason not to say something you're not as confident of, but on the other a good reason to take the time to advise them if it's something you are sure about: it will have a good chance of being acted upon.