[Report] Waterbury Last Place Report

[daboo]

Waterbury Last Place Report

EDIT:  I just remembered.  My theme song for this Waterbury would be Montana by Frank Zappa.  If you can listen to it while reading this report, I highly recommend it.

I've been coming to Ray's tourneys since they were type 2 events, and they are amazing.  Great people, good times, and so much fun to be had.
And hey, he even offers last place prizes!  How can you go wrong?

I decided to run a w/u fishy thing.  I had played something simillar to it before, and did horrible.  I don't know why I played it again.  I guess I'm just lazy.
Heres the list so you can know what not to play.

4 Force of Will
1 Misdirection
3 Daze
1 Strip Mine
4 Wasteland
4 Swords to Plowshares
4 Meddling Mage
3 Rootwater Theif
4 Curiosity
2 Faerie Conclave
4 Standstill
1 Mox Pearl
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Ancestral Recall
1 Time Walk
2 Exalted Angel
1 Crucible of Worlds
4 AEther Vial
4 Mishra's Factory
4 Tundra
4 Flooded Strand
3 Island

There was a random sideboard, but I doubt I'll bother list it.

Round 1
Justin, Playing TPS
Game 1
I start with a hand I shouldn't keep, with a mox sapphire as my only mana source.  He starts, opening with a duress, hitting the mox.  Damn.  Needless to say, I'm severely mana screwed, and don't do much of anything for the rest of the game.  He starts trading life for cards and it goes downhill from there.
Game 2
While I don't remember all that much about this game, I remember it was only a few turns long.  Despite random hate I sided in, he goes off fast, I die.  I only saw one counter in these games: a Daze, which I was holding when he was floating buttloads of mana.
0-1, 0-2

Thanks to the later start, the pizza shows up now.  I down half a pizza, and move on.  (Note: the pizza was awesome this time.  <3)

Round 2
Zherbus, playing that Meandeck deck
Game 1
Goes off second turn.  I recall being one turn away from playing something that may have helped me, but in retrospect, it was probably crap.
Game 2
I keep another one mana hand, and open up with a AEther Vial.  Next turn I get no more mana, so I stick a counter on my vial and wait for next turn.  I'm holding a Meddling Mage, which is nice against Tendrils, but he never sees play.  I pass turn, and die.  
0-2. 0-4

Round 3
Max (I think) , playing Sui
Game 1
This game was the longest I played all day.  He gets out two early hippies, and I respond with two swords.  A shade and negator come out, making my manland and Meddling Mage look sad.  These hurt - a lot.  I dealt with his critters for a while thanks to Crucible, each turn bringing back a manland to chump block a shade.  I removed a lot of random cards from his deck with Rootwater, but I end up losing.  He kegs my Crucible, and swings repeatedly.
Game 2
I didn't have a chance to do much this game, because hymn and hippies took out my hand.  I managed to STP something, but it didn't really matter.
0-3, 0-6

This is the point where I set my sites on last.  Both my counters and my land are hiding from me, so I decide it shouldn't be too hard to accomplish.

Round 4
?, playing Answer.dec
I don't remember all that much about this round, but I remember his deck had answers for everything, and eventually took infinite turns with Crystal Shard, Time Walk, and Eternal Witness.
0-4, 0-8

Round 5
?, playing Dragon
I must have been really out of it, sorry opponent, I didn't get your name either.
Game 1
He animates the Dragon
Game 2
He animates the Dragon
We get up and hand in our match result slip five minutes into round 5.  
0-5, 0-10

Round 6
Matt, playing Ravager-like-thing
Game 1
He drops a lot of junk on the table, and a couple cranial platings to make one of his dudes huge.  Thankfully, its toughness is only two, and I chump.  something else becomes big, and I die.
Game 2
Basically the same as game 1, just faster.  My notes tell me at one point I took 12 to the face.
0-6, 0-12

Round 7
Mark, playing a stormy thing, Brainfreeze for the kill
Game 1
We're both going after the same last place prize, so this game was going to be interesting.
I keep a hand with three fetch lands - score.  I start manaburning myself early, while mark sets himself up for a suicidal brainfreeze.  I drop a Meddling Mage on Brainfreeze, postponing his death.  I keep hitting myself with manaburn, and he goes and drops a Workshop.    It gets to hit him twice before I waste it.  He taps everything and goes down to 1.  I'm at 6, I rip a Time Walk off the top, play it, burn, and burn for the loss next turn.
Draw
Mark is a cool guy, and he's also 0-6.  I had talked to him in a few rounds before, since we were all around the lower tables.  We're the only players left without any points, so we decide to draw.  (for the record, I do think I could have lost this round if we played game two, but there was no reason)
0-6-1, 0-12

Round 8
Matt, playing Tendrils, but not quite TPS
Game 1
This game had me nervous.  He tried to scoop after he grabbed the wrong land out of his library.  Seeing my perfect record on the verge of being shattered, I stopped him, and let him go for the right land.  He ended up Tendrilsing for 112.
Game 2
It took him a while to get the combo off the ground this game, but eventually he did.
0-7-1, 0-14


I snagged some rice from some friends who got a chance to order some chinese.  Two pens I had served as chopsticks, and that was my dinner.  
Awesome.

Later, after the top 16 were announced, I got my 3 foreign boosters for coming in at 100th place.

Take the packs, play suicide with some friends.  
Nemisis
An early spinal thug keeps me in the game, and it is sealed when I rip a Lin Sivvi off the top.  It really wouldn't have helped me too much, but it intimidated my opponent into concession.
Planeshift
An unblockable Magnoth Treefolk gave me advantage early game, and an FTK sealed the game for me.
Torment
Barbarian Outcast and Mystic Familliar couldn't hold their weight against some craziness on the other side of the board.  I ended up scooping to Mutilate.

I sorta wandered around for the rest of the night, eventually passing out in a chair outside.  I ended up leaving at about 3am, and the finals hadn't even started yet.

Props: Ray, my opponents, Lin Sivvi, friends who actually did good
Slops: My land, counterspells, and deck in general

[tehmajickguy]

Mad props to you John for getting last still getting the same prizes as 17-32. The deck looked really sweet when I threw together your sideboard and played it before the tourney. But anyways, good job sticking it out man. You're my hero.

[Negator13]

This is the best report I have ever read. Seriously.

[TrixR4Kidz]

Good job dude, bragging rights for the rest of your life!!

Little secret though, it feels pretty good to sneak by a couple of wins, hopefully in the future

[TJ-Whoopy]

I think I've finally found a way to come home with a prize. thanks for the inspiration

[Jacob Orlove]

Congratulations on your spectacular performance. ;)

[PizzaMan]

Hey... you are my hero!
I think i´m gonna make a religion to worship you!    

Congrats for the awesome performance and next time, try to play some fun deck, like HighTide or Mycossinteth Golem Combo... :p

[CaptainBuddocks!]

Excellent report!   Funny thing is that the people clapped for you more than first place!

[Humble Pie]

Nice Report John. When Mark was telling me about that game I almost shit myself laughing. Nice report, and overall, you got the same prizes as me. BTW, to the poster who said play High Tide. Mark was playing a varient of that called Speed Blue. Crazy? Yes!

[Bakes]

Can you actually be happy about this other than getter the three boosters?

[CrazyCarl]

Can you actually be happy about this other than getter the three boosters?

If you can actually like, have fun playing Magic, yes.

[ChaosTheory]

Nice report, and at least you won something.  

[daboo]

Can you actually be happy about this other than getter the three boosters?

Hells yes.

You suck

Right, glad you caught on.

Also, I realized the other day I forgot a fairly important minigame that happened between rounds 4 and 5.
The name of the game is Cans.  Two people play at a time.  You play at a table, sitting across from each other.  Each player starts with a full, unopened can of beverage (your choice).  
The game starts with each player chugging their can, as fast a humanly possible.  The person who downs their drink first starts with their can closer to the opponent (just past halfway, not too far).
Then, each player locks cans, and tries to force the opponents can back over their side.  You must continue, even if your can is destroyed in the process.  If you cannot continue, or your can is pushed past your edge of the table, you lose.

The games we played in the break between 4 and 5 were still in the beta stages of the game, with slightly different rules.  We had a small audience, and needless to say, I won.

EDIT: Thanks for all the props, too.  Hope you enjoyed the report

[Tash]

And good job on the last place finish. This is the most enjoyable report I've ever read. Seriously, its the only one ive even read more than once...

Kinda makes my somewhat poor placings in events seem good.

[Bram]

I recall being one turn away from playing something that may have helped me, but in retrospect, it was probably crap.

Whahahaha!

(for the record, I do think I could have lost this round if we played game two, but there was no reason)

<3. You rock, dude. Oh, and congrats. I hope you end up losing many more tourneys and writing about them like this :-)

[daboo]

Whoa, I should totally check this thing more often.
This thing got moved to the real repot forum, so I guess that means something - cool
Anyway, thanks for all the props, but one thing still remains, where to go from here?

Granted, I can come consistantly in last place (I don't think that would be a problem) but I would like to have some competition (see Round 7).  The only problem would be someone who decided to do something stupid like Final Fortune.dec
Also, if other tournament organizers could follow Ray's lead with the last place prizes, that would be sweet.

Ideas?

[JAG]

just so you know, that was a really brutal duress I played on you in round one.  I recall we talked about it for a bit afterwards.  sorry I couldn't add a bit more flash to your report, but it was a blast to read anyway.

Just make sure you stop following in Ben Zoz's footsteps (0-4-2 going into 2nd day of Worlds, go team USA....)

-JM