Vintage Academy

[Revvik]

EDIT:  Did anyone else think that because JDizzle started this thread that it was about some new build of Neo-Academy?

Not in the Basic User Community, at least.  Unless it's some Academy based deck that utilizes the tokens created by Icatian Town or something - that would result in a Moved to Basic User Community or Moved to Casual deal.

[Methuselahn]

Someone should teach a class on Priority and Protocol 101.

I guess I would have to vote for JDizzle to teach about combo, since, he's already titled himself as the "professor of combo"   

[Vegeta2711]

History 101G - Goblin Studies
Lessons on classic red decks, the origins of the tournament viable Goblin hordes and how to win with red things that aren't Goblin Welder.
Taught by me, obviously.

[Whatever Works]

Magic History 107: When White was playable 1993-1997

[Magi]

EDIT:  Did anyone else think that because JDizzle started this thread that it was about some new build of Neo-Academy?

I did, that's why I first looked into the thread :p

[t3h_fury]

I thought it was a SCG clinic or something.

[forests failed you]

Also, I would be more than happy to teach the "talking shit" class, as I have a knack for it.


I'm still better at it than you.

Don't make me make you cry.

[lorenavedon]

Magic and Marxism.

How to be happy playing with the cards you have instead of whining about not having power to net deck the latest tier 1 deck. How to deal with the oppressive bourgeois and their evil power 9 while you’re stuck with your proletariat goblin deck. How to stop whining about Wizards reprint policy making Magic unequal for the masses.

[Lashkar]

White - the introduction and the end.

A 1 lecture course introducing the use and most importantly abuse of Balance and how adding 1 tundra to your manabase may save your ass in a scrubby meta. Home essay on remaining playables and sideboard cards.

Prereqs: Manabases and metagaming.

Required for STAX - Prison at its best, a case study and Hist101: Keeper and its siblings - A study on Weismann control from then 'till now.

[mrieff]

I vaguely remember something that once there was an actual summer class. People like Randy Buehler (then still a player) were connected to it. You could sign up for I think a week, and they would give you personal draft advice etc. I'll ask my friend, I believe he went there.

[forests failed you]

That seems really strange.  Like soccar camp for geeky magic kids or something? I wonder if it would have been really expensive.

[Jank Golem]

I heard about that camp before. I think it was out in Seatle or something, not really sure. I'm pretty sure it was all type 2 and limited though. I would also include something about the various biases there are about vintage and vintage players.

[Klep]

That seems really strange.  Like soccar camp for geeky magic kids or something? I wonder if it would have been really expensive.

It was.  I can't remember what it cost exactly, but I remember wanting to go very badly and knowing I could never possibly convince my parents to pay.

[forests failed you]

That sucks!  I hate magic elitism.

[Apollyon]

That sucks! I hate magic elitism.

There comes a point in every young man's life that he realizes that he's not like everyone else. He has strange feelings, desires, and abilities. One of these days, that player might wake up and realize that they are better than many other players. That's why Vintage Academy exists. So that we can get players to finally realize their potential. Hopefully the experiences that I described above happen to you soon.

By the way, elitism means "philosophy or policy such that the best have special privileges and rights". While TMD is run like that with its tiered membership system (such as Full Members being able to post in certain forums, Vintage Adepts being able to read the Mod Lounge, and Mods/Admins being able to do almost anything), Magic doesn't really have much elitism. The natural counter-argument is the Pro Tour, but all of that should be viewed as being included in the prizes, and not because of any sense of elitism from the DCI or WotC. Should the DCI no longer give out invites to certain people on the Pro Tour, I have little doubt that many of the pros can easily win their spots on the Pro Tour.

Feel free, in the future, to use elitism correctly.

[Dozer]

Magic History 107: When White was playable 1993-1997

HIST108: From MRB to Parfait.

Just imagine what kind of people would sit in the Parfait class... you know, those laid-back hippies that slouch over campus in the sincere knowledge that their subject of study is so obscure they can spent two years discussing it and then doing post-grad studies over it until they are 45.

They'd have cherry cocktails every thursday and mandatory Land Tax prayer meetings.

[rvs]

They'd have cherry cocktails every thursday and mandatory Land Tax prayer meetings.

What's wrong with cherry cocktails? 

[forests failed you]

By the way, elitism means "philosophy or policy such that the best have special privileges and rights". While TMD is run like that with its tiered membership system (such as Full Members being able to post in certain forums, Vintage Adepts being able to read the Mod Lounge, and Mods/Admins being able to do almost anything), Magic doesn't really have much elitism. The natural counter-argument is the Pro Tour, but all of that should be viewed as being included in the prizes, and not because of any sense of elitism from the DCI or WotC. Should the DCI no longer give out invites to certain people on the Pro Tour, I have little doubt that many of the pros can easily win their spots on the Pro Tour.

Feel free, in the future, to use elitism correctly.

By the way Webster's New World College Dictionary says:  Elitism, n. 1 government or control by elite 2 advocacy of control by, or privileges for, an elite 3 the fact of sensing or believing that one is a member of an elite.

And we can look at Elite as well.  n. 1 the group or part of a group selected or regarded as the finest, best, most distinguished, most powerful, etc.  2 a size of type for typewriters, measuring twelve characters to the linear inch ---adj.  of, forming, or suitable for an elite.

Synonyms for the word Elite according to Webster's New World Thesaurus include n. upper class, ruling class, power elite, cream; see aristocracy, best

I'm not sure if you actually read the entire conversation, but this is what came first.

That seems really strange. Like soccar camp for geeky magic kids or something? I wonder if it would have been really expensive.

It was. I can't remember what it cost exactly, but I remember wanting to go very badly and knowing I could never possibly convince my parents to pay.

To which I responded:

That sucks! I hate magic elitism.

What about this response is confusing you?  He couldn't go because his parents didn't have, or didn't want to spend, the big bucks on an expensive "learn to play Magic school;" while his friend's parents were willing to.  Clearly, there is a level of elitism being demonstrated when one set of parents pays big money to give their child additional education, while another set of parents can or will not.  It seems quite apparent to me that a child with parents that can and will send their children to a special 'summer school' to learn to play Magic, has an advantage in learning to play the game well over a child with parents who cannot or will not send their child to such a school.  Especially, if money is involved as the contributing factor as to why child A is able to attend the special Magic school, and child B is not this seems like blatent elitism.  This would be a case for 'elitism' in regards to the most powerful, or, those with the most money.  Specifically, what I thought sucked was that kids with rich parents can afford to have pro players teach their kids to draft, build decks, and play the game correctly, while parents of moderate means cannot bestow such lavish opportunities unto their children's hobbies.

I merely stated as a quick comment that I thought it was lame that a kid with rich parents could afford to essentially buy them an advantage in a hobby card game, through expensive professional tutoring programs; while clearly, parents of moderate means couldn't possibly afford to do the same for their children. 

From the context of the entire conversation I was talking about actual 'Elitism' at work even in the context of children playing a hobby card game, such as Magic the Gathering; and not an Elitist hierarchical structure intrinsic to the game itself.  Had you taken the time to read a few posts down you probably would have been able to figure that out for yourself, instead of having to have me explain it for you.

In the future if you have any further problems with my usage, grammar, punctuation etc., please feel free to contact me via PM about it.  Firstly, you are not a moderator; secondly, it wastes everybody's time in these threads for you to condescendingly explain why you don't like my particular usage of a word, and then for me to defend myself and explain why I said it.  I might actually appreciate the humor in this if I knew who you were, but I don't, and I am not ammused in the slightest.  I would encourage you, in the future to read a statement within the entire context that it was written before asserting that people don't know what they are talking about; and secondly I would advise you to lighten up.  Nobody else seemed to misinterpret, or need additional explaination, of what seemed to be a very obvious statement.  Just you.

I guess what I am getting to is:  in the future, try not to be such a Douche Bag: (slang) an unpleasant, offensive, or contemptible person

[Necrologia]

Azhrei's spirit roams the halls of TMD again! 

If I taught anything I'd be the TA for the combo classes JDrizzle would invariably teach. I <3 the Dark Ritual but acknowledge I am but a shade of the true combo master. Maybe I could even sub a few times while he's lecturing another class on the importance of pimpness or some such.

[forests failed you]

I agree; Jdizzle and Everythingitouchesdies would definitly head up that department.

Steve would head up the deckbuilding department.

Kevin would head up the Workshop department.

Jacob could head up the aggro control department.

Windfall could head up the Slaver department.

I'm not trying to be an asshole; I just hate it when people try and turn something very simple and innocent around to try and make others look like they don't know what they are talking about.  People do it to Steve all the time, and it is so annoying.  If someone wants to have a conversation about word usage, why not just use the PM function? 

I don't appreciate it when people try and make me, or anybody else for that matter, look like an idiot in the forums; and i am sure most other people feel the same way.

[Klep]

Windfall could head up the Slaver department.

No sleight to Mark, but Rich is vastly more qualified for this.

[forests failed you]

Either or;  they are both fantastic players.  I know that I am always more than happy to pick either one of their brains on the subject, as they always have something insightful to say.

[onelovemachine]

  Where would I fucking begin.... christ. 

I think that you would begin with a "How to Play the Game with feeling!" drama course.  You could teach us all how to orgasm over brainstormed cards.   

Edit:
Brian Demars would definitely teach a class on deck registry!

[Hi-Val]

Metagaming 201: Building on the basics of "What is a metagame?", this course will delve into how to apply theoretical metagaming knowledge to a practical tournament. Recommended for non-Vintage majors as well, though the subject material will be Vintage-themed. Learn lessons such as when the best deck isn't the right deck, utilizing hidden tech for profit and when to maindeck metagame hate.

[Ephraim]

MuzzonoAmi ought to be recruited to teach Vintage deckbuilding on a tight budget. It's a hard subject and it takes a firm hand to drag some of us out of the idealistic realm in which it's possible to build a Vintage deck without Duals, Fetches, etc. Heck, even Mana Drain qualifies as a "budget" card in some instances, only because it's hard to live without it, no matter how much it costs.

[Komatteru]

MuzzonoAmi ought to be recruited to teach Vintage deckbuilding on a tight budget. It's a hard subject and it takes a firm hand to drag some of us out of the idealistic realm in which it's possible to build a Vintage deck without Duals, Fetches, etc. Heck, even Mana Drain qualifies as a "budget" card in some instances, only because it's hard to live without it, no matter how much it costs.

I second that.

[kl0wn]

Also, I would be more than happy to teach the "talking shit" class, as I have a knack for it.


I'm still better at it than you.

Don't make me make you cry.

You both sound like a couple of bickering little 12-year old bitches with skinned knees. How the fuck do either of you expect to talk shit acting like that, much less teach it to other whiney metrosexuals? And how the fuck do you expect anybody to hear you when it's coming from that muffled pair of lips between your Naired chicken legs? That's not shit-talking, that's playing fucking tug-of-war with your fucking dollies. Now both of you go to your rooms, or I'll take away your easy bake ovens. And you can be damned sure neither of you will be getting a pony for your sweet sixteen. Bitches.

I win.

*kisses*

Oh, and one more thing:

Synonyms for the word Elite according to Webster's New World Thesaurus include n. upper class, ruling class, power elite, cream...

I will be the first to admit that I'm a CREAMIST bastard and any of you who would consider it an insult to be called that can kiss my grits.

[Anusien]

Clearly, Stephen would teach how to orgasm over restricted cards "I ALMOST CONSULTED FOR WILL" and the joy of the 20 minute Brainstorm.  We could also get Brassman and I to teach the joys of IRC with a subtheme of impersonations and false nicks.

[Hi-Val]

Anatomy of an Internet Flame 371; A case Study in Kl0wn.

Structure of flame:

Opening attack on masculinity. (Change tactic when flaming females)
String of profanity to mask uncreative insult.
Attack on masculinity and sexuality.
Patronizing string of profanity.
Insult regarding age and gender.
Parthian shot consisting of a profanity, hopefully also insulting masculinity.

When Dr. Saucemaster comes back from his sabbatical, he'll be teaching the followup course to this. It'll be about formulating sound, cutting, creative flames. After taking this course, posters will know how to sound original while insulting a fellow poster's ideas. Both of these courses also count for your English credit, but must be taken in sequence.

[forests failed you]

You both sound like a couple of bickering little 12-year old bitches with skinned knees. How the fuck do either of you expect to talk shit acting like that, much less teach it to other whiney metrosexuals? And how the fuck do you expect anybody to hear you when it's coming from that muffled pair of lips between your Naired chicken legs? That's not shit-talking, that's playing fucking tug-of-war with your fucking dollies. Now both of you go to your rooms, or I'll take away your easy bake ovens. And you can be damned sure neither of you will be getting a pony for your sweet sixteen. Bitches.

I win.

*kisses*

Oh, and one more thing:

Oh, no the big mean Klown guy said nasty things about me!  I'm so upset, whatever shall I do?

If by metrosexual you mean well groomed, then okay sure, thats not such a bad thing.  I have seen you at events and you are a wreck of epic proportions.  So, clearly I understand why you would want to lash out at your peers who understand the benefits of proper grooming, suave good looks, and good hygiene.  However, I don't blame you for being a person of such terrible disposition; it is apparent that you probably had terrible, poor mannered parents that never taught you a variety of things.  In particular, class, manners, and creativity are all character traits that come to mind.  However, if lashing out at me unprovoked makes you feel better about yourself, then I'm glad I could help you out.  I take a certain amout of solice in knowing that I am able to do my part in helping those less fortunate than I am.  So as you make your way back to the cardboard box that I assume you call your 'home,' just remember that I was your buddy today, because I let you take all of those insecurities and festering feelings of failure and frustration that you had boiling up inside of your disgusting, smelling, greasy body out on me.  Thus delaying the realization that you are clearly an unhappy and dissatisfied human being for another day.  I only wish that I could do more to help.  Please, come see me at the next major Vintage event... I'll donate a tube of toothpaste, soap, or something to your cause.  Not only will you feel better knowing that you are clean and germ free --but you'll may actually be able to 'make it' with a female.  I'm sure once you have experienced the joy of sexual relations with a woman, you will no longer feel the need to lash out at your peers!

Clearly, you win!  Cheers!