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Buttons
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« on: December 13, 2005, 08:25:04 am » |
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So, after my friends and I had a LENGTHY discussion on Bizarro (that is, Superman's mentally retarded equal,) we began to think of how Bizarro could actually become more Bizarro.
That is, if not only he, but his actual powers were somehow retarded.
For instance:
Normal Superpower: FLYING.
Retarded Superpower: Being able to jump off something really tall, and not being hurt.
You see? It's sorta like flying, but really not...at all.
We laughed a good bit after trying to make other ones. Others include:
Normal Superpower: WATER-BREATHING. (I.E., Aquaman.)
Retarded Superpower: Being able to drink ALOT, but not immune to drowning.
And, the best one:
Normal Superpower: TELEPORTATION.
Retarded Superpower: Waking up, and not knowing where you are.
They're hard to come up with.
Can anyone else think of retarded superpowers?
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oldbsturgeon
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« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2005, 09:27:23 am » |
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normal superpower: healing factor
retarded superpower: getting hurt and putting it off likes its no big deal
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cosineme
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« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2005, 09:48:12 am » |
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So, after my friends and I had a LENGTHY discussion on Bizarro (that is, Superman's mentally retarded equal,) we began to think of how Bizarro could actually become more Bizarro.
That is, if not only he, but his actual powers were somehow retarded.
For instance:
Normal Superpower: FLYING.
Retarded Superpower: Being able to jump off something really tall, and not being hurt.
You see? It's sorta like flying, but really not...at all.
We laughed a good bit after trying to make other ones. Others include:
Normal Superpower: WATER-BREATHING. (I.E., Aquaman.)
Retarded Superpower: Being able to drink ALOT, but not immune to drowning.
And, the best one:
Normal Superpower: TELEPORTATION.
Retarded Superpower: Waking up, and not knowing where you are.
They're hard to come up with.
Can anyone else think of retarded superpowers?
you and your friends have interesting humor. i'm a large comic fan and i don't really see what you are getting at lol. |
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Just moved from Ann Arbor to Chicago. Even had a chance to play a bit with some of the famed Ann Arbor players.
Help me find a magic store in downtown Chicago
AKA effang
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Englishman_in_NH
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« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2005, 12:18:25 pm » |
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normal superpower : telepathy
bizarro superpower : not knowing what you are thinking.
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Ball and Chain: Using your discarded decks since 1994.
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Jacob Orlove
Official Time Traveller of TMD
Administrator
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Posts: 8074
When am I?
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« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2005, 12:21:20 pm » |
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Normal Superpower: Moderating
Buttons Superpower: Posting
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Team Meandeck: O Lord,
Guard my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking guile.
To those who slander me, let me give no heed.
May my soul be humble and forgiving to all.
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The Atog Lord
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« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2005, 01:21:30 pm » |
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Normal Superpower: Ninjitsu (Batman)
Retard Superpower: Internet Piracy
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The Academy: If I'm not dead, I have a Dragonlord Dromoka coming in 4 turns
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Bardo
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Res Ipsa Loquitur
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« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2005, 01:40:01 pm » |
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Normal Superpower: can breathe underwater
Retarded Superpower: can only breathe Dr. Pepper
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noitcelfeRmaeT||TeamReflection - .gniyd ysub si ,nrob gnieb ysub ton eH
:nraw ot sevorp ,sdrow detsaw syalp nroh wolloh ehT
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Dozer
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« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2005, 07:21:26 pm » |
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Normal superpower: Sending electric sparks and bolts through your fingers.
Bizarro superpower: Sticking your fingers into a plug and make your hair look frizzy.
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a swashbuckling ninja Member of Team CAB, dozercat on MTGO MTG.com coverage reporter (Euro GPs) -- on hiatus, thanks to uni Associate Editor of www.planetmtg |
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Machinus
Keldon Ancient
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« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2005, 07:26:19 pm » |
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Superhero superpower: the ability to control water
Magic player superpower: periodic bathing
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T1: Arsenal
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Ephraim
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The Casual Adept
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« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2005, 10:48:22 pm » |
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Regular Super Power: Being able to communicate with the spirits.
Retarded Super Power: Talking to people who aren't really there.
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Did you know that Red is the color or art and music and passion? Combine that with Green, the color of nature, spiritualism, and community and you get a hippie commune of drum circles, dreamcatchers, and recreational drug use. Let's see that win a Pro Tour.
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Moxlotus
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Where the fuck are my pants?
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« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2005, 11:26:21 pm » |
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Normal superpower: X-ray vison
Retarded superpower: not being able to see the first layer of objects
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DerangedHermit
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« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2005, 11:41:39 pm » |
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Normal superpower: Lightning speed!
Retard powers: Lightning speed! Except you get just as tired as you would normally walk that distance.
Normal superpower: Super hearing!
Retard superpower: Not hearing a damn thing at all.
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Moxlotus
Teh Absolut Ballz
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Where the fuck are my pants?
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« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2005, 12:22:05 am » |
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Real Superpower-utility belt (ok, not a real "power". Eat it)
Retarded Superpower-the ability to pull anything out of your butt--literally out of your butt.
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cssamerican
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« Reply #13 on: December 14, 2005, 12:51:56 am » |
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Retarded Superpower-the ability to pull anything out of your butt--literally out of your butt. If I could magically pull Benjamin Franklins out of my ass, I would gladly have this power. However, I would also probably be the majority stock holder in whatever company made Preparation H because I would have one sore ass. |
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In war it doesn't really matter who is right, the only thing that matters is who is left.
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ReAnimator
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« Reply #14 on: December 14, 2005, 04:10:50 pm » |
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Retarded Superpower-the ability to pull anything out of your butt--literally out of your butt.
Actually that was done in an old Hitman comic. It was damn funny. (Hitman was a satirical look at the superhero world written by Garth Ennis (Preacher, Punisher ect.)) There was actually a whole team of not so super hero's in that series called Section 8. the best was a guy named friendly fire who could shoot fireballs ect. but he always managed to hit his allies instead of his foes. |
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Goobafish: I'll cast lim dul's vault
Opponent: Ok
Goobafish: Sorry its foreign do you know what it does?
Opponent: Yes
Goobafish: Well I don't
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asmoranomardicodais
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« Reply #15 on: December 14, 2005, 08:10:20 pm » |
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Real Superpower: Being able to talk to fish (aquaman)
Retarded Superpower: Being able to talk to fish
Hmm... Any others? Aha!
Real Superpower: Turning into a giant green monster when you get angry (hulk)
Retarded Superpower: Turning into a red faced monster when you get angry (Ted Kennedy)
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nataz
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Mighty Mighty Maine-Tone
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« Reply #16 on: December 14, 2005, 08:39:53 pm » |
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Retarded Superpower: Turning into a red faced monster when you get angry (Ted Kennedy)
HA pot shots at teddy are the bestest! |
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I will write Peace on your wings
and you will fly around the world
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Revvik
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« Reply #17 on: December 14, 2005, 11:14:08 pm » |
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Real Superpower: telepathy
Retard Superpower: ability to blindly sign cell phone contracts
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http://www.thehardlessons.com/I will break into your house while you aren't home and disguise myself as a chair. Then I will leave before you get home, but there will be a place at your table where I was a chair and you will wonder why there isn't a chair there. Then later I will leave the chair disguise on your doorstep and you will realize what has happened and you will be afraid all the time. Helter Skelter mother fuckers!
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Matt
Post like a butterfly, Mod like a bee.
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King of the Jews!
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« Reply #18 on: December 15, 2005, 02:18:59 am » |
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I remember deciding that the lamest super power you could possibly have would be to spontaneously generate super powers in those around you.
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http://www.goodgamery.com/pmo/c025.GIF---------------------- SpenceForHire2k7: Its unessisary SpenceForHire2k7: only spelled right SpenceForHire2k7: <= world english teach evar ---------------------- noitcelfeRmaeT {Team Hindsight}
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Anusien
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« Reply #19 on: December 15, 2005, 02:26:25 am » |
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Real superpower: Blindness
Crappy Superpower: Blindness
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Magic Level 3 Judge Southern USA Regional Coordinator The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule. |
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Joblin Velder
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« Reply #20 on: December 15, 2005, 03:05:09 am » |
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I remember deciding that the lamest super power you could possibly have would be to spontaneously generate super powers in those around you.
That actually sounds pretty sweet. |
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Team Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday: I will pee all over myself then we'll see who will end up looking bad.
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Matt
Post like a butterfly, Mod like a bee.
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King of the Jews!
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« Reply #21 on: December 15, 2005, 03:57:22 am » |
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It just makes you stand there looking like the only guy in the room who isn't a superhuman. Everyone's gonna make fun of you.
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http://www.goodgamery.com/pmo/c025.GIF---------------------- SpenceForHire2k7: Its unessisary SpenceForHire2k7: only spelled right SpenceForHire2k7: <= world english teach evar ---------------------- noitcelfeRmaeT {Team Hindsight}
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Joblin Velder
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« Reply #22 on: December 15, 2005, 04:28:55 am » |
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Until I walk away while they're flying or lifting a bus.
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Team Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday: I will pee all over myself then we'll see who will end up looking bad.
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Magi
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« Reply #23 on: December 15, 2005, 04:32:31 am » |
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normal superpower: healing factor
retarded superpower: getting hurt and putting it off likes its no big deal Normal superpower: Lightning speed!
Retard powers: Lightning speed! Except you get just as tired as you would normally walk that distance. Haha these two are the best.  |
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BigMac
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« Reply #24 on: December 15, 2005, 08:54:37 am » |
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Superpower: being Q
Retarded power: being me
Superpower: control over flames
Retarded power: screaming firie fire fire when you light a match.
Superpower: United States
Retarded power: Belgium
Superpower: superhearring
Retarded power: being mad because you hear everything
i may think of some other stupid stuff
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Ignorance is curable
Stupidity is forever
Member of team ISP
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SpencerForHire
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« Reply #25 on: December 15, 2005, 11:46:37 am » |
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Superpower: United States
Retarded power: Belgium
Quote for best yet. |
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Team Technology - Strictly better than our previous name.
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forests failed you
De Stijl
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Venerable Saint
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« Reply #26 on: December 15, 2005, 02:42:41 pm » |
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Superpower- Shapeshifting
Retarded superpower-Â Random shapeshifting, (you have no control over what you morph into.)
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Grand Prix Boston 2012 Champion
Follow me on Twitter: @BrianDeMars1
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Bardo
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Res Ipsa Loquitur
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« Reply #27 on: December 15, 2005, 02:47:28 pm » |
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superpower - invisibility
retarded superpower - you're only invisible to yourself
superpower - can see through walls (x-ray vision)
retarded superpower - can see through glass
superpower - flying
retarded superpower - you can only fly 1" off the ground
superpower - super-human strength
retarded superpower - you just get really pissed off at stuff
Bardo <- plagiarizer, sorta
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« Last Edit: December 15, 2005, 02:52:16 pm by Bardo »
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noitcelfeRmaeT||TeamReflection - .gniyd ysub si ,nrob gnieb ysub ton eH
:nraw ot sevorp ,sdrow detsaw syalp nroh wolloh ehT
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SpencerForHire
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« Reply #28 on: December 15, 2005, 03:05:42 pm » |
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I've seen that movie dude, you forgot throwing a bowling ball that is haunted by your fathers skull.
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Team Technology - Strictly better than our previous name.
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Bardo
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Res Ipsa Loquitur
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« Reply #29 on: December 15, 2005, 03:16:19 pm » |
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I've seen that movie dude, you forgot throwing a bowling ball that is haunted by your fathers skull. It didn't seem particularly funny in this context. Or even in Mystery Men, for that matter. |
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noitcelfeRmaeT||TeamReflection - .gniyd ysub si ,nrob gnieb ysub ton eH
:nraw ot sevorp ,sdrow detsaw syalp nroh wolloh ehT
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