Top 10 list: Teh Funnay!

[Kasuras]

Because everyone and their mother is doing these top10 list things, I am doing so too!

So, what is the funniest thing you ever read here on tmd? What made you spill coke on your keyboard, and the wall 3 yards behind it? The KirdApe report? Something in the humor forum? Raging fans going mad on the boards? The suicide forum itself? Kerz's version of another one bites the dust in particular? A quote?

[Matt]

Something dandan wrote, surely. Probably his Argothian Enchantress/Drop of Honey explanation.

[Magi]

Lots of stuff being dropped in the "Midgets VS Lion" thread had me almost rolling on the floor.

[Dr. Sylvan]

Okay, this was really hard. But I did it.

1.

gongmeister's BESERK MURDOLONT post

2.

Smmenen: "Smmenen writes on a personal website that is full of pussy liberal bullshit - he is at the least, borderline socialist. Smmenen is such a rude mother fucker. He doesn't even have the tact to keep his trap shut when he's won a debate. Every win and his ego balloons. Not to mention that he playtests every waking moment of his life becuase he lives off the interest of his trust fund. Outside of magic, he's a real fucking elitist scum. If a homeless person asks for change, he asks for a quarter for a pop. One time, a homeless person was sleeping in the OSU Student Union and he told the guy to go home and take a bath becuase he smelled like dog piss. I also saw Smmenen spit on an arab. What a fucking asshole."

3.

badplayermeyer: Smmenen : where the fuck is hehe
badplayermeyer: "is hehe?" OMG WHERE DID TEH FUNNAY GO?
PsychoCid976: ROFLROFL.
badplayermeyer: oh man smmenen just called me up cause he is still laughing at my response to "where the fuck is hehe"

4.

Saucemaster v. PTW trashtalk

5.

dandan: (on Drop of Honey rules question) "Imagine: 'Destroy target furry animal.' Only a furry animal can ever be destroyed by this spell. A fish, being a creature without fur (sans fur for those who live in Canada) is not going to be affected EVER. It matters little if the aforementioned furry animal boards a Stealth plane and so cannot be targetted, the fish is safe (barring a crash landing at sea). The fish is never a furry animal. It might evolve into a furry animal but unless it is an Oath mirror match the game should have finished before then. Even sticking little bits of fur on the fish won't work, apart from in casual games."

6.

Bram: "What is a bagel, and why would you wanna put it in your toaster?"

7.

jpmeyer: (in the "What color should be added to make Suicide Black better?" thread) "I'm not sure what I'd add, but I'd definitely cut black."

8.

kl0wn: "Being the Good Samaritan that I am, I decided to let the driver know that he was about to kill hundreds of innocent people in a 27-car pileup with his 20,000 lb. steel machine of death. I grabbed a spare slice of paper and dug my trusty Sharpie out of my pocket, then wrote upon the previously mentioned slice of paper: "YER TIRE'S FLAT" and held it up to the window. The guy nodded and continued on his way."

9.

Black Explosion: "I have a book entitled "100 uses for a dead cat". It is all pictures, and has various uses for dead cats. One is using the tails as windshield wipers, while another uses them as frisbees."
Kaervek (Bram): "I have that very same book! Wierd...I didn't think anyone else would buy it."
Magimaster: "I HAVE THE SAME BOOK TOO!!!!! You are my brothers!"

10.

dandan: "I'll wait for Smmenen and Rakso to tell me what to think before I reply. Then I'll do what Smmenen says as he is right even if I don't like it. Then I'll complain about Wizards because they are doing nothing/something about Type I and are releasing no/too many Type I quality cards. Then I'll probably vote for the 'fear' thing so I can pretend I understand it like all proper TMD members. Then I'll mention something about allowing Portal and Starter in Type I (before the argument 'because Type I is where ALL cards are allowed' falls down) and someone replies with a comment about Jungle Lion or a really bad tutor. Then I'll post something off-topic and people will think I'm Dutch not Slovak. Finally I will make personal comments about anyone who disagrees with me after slagging someone off for making personal comments."


Honorable Mention:

K-Run: "I killed a squirrel with a broom last summer. My girlfriend was horrified."
MoreFling: "Canuck attempt at taking the thread back has failed! Booyah!"
Kaervek: "No, no, it actually succeeded. Coz in a freak coincidence, I killed my girlfriend with a broom last summer, and my squirrel was horrified."
K-Run: "Did she fall on her back, in final spasms, too? And did you laugh at your disgusted squirrel?"

[rvs]

Bram's post about Kowal's alledged giving out of tech

[Gabethebabe]

This was not on TMD, but on MTGnews, in the trade thread. Just after the release of OD.

I want your Shadowmages, your Calls, your moat, and your Gaea's cradles. I have 1 callous oppresor.

[Bram]

WELL THEN IT REALLY ISN'T THE FUNNIEST THING YOU READ ON TMD NOW IS IT???

 

[Gabethebabe]

WELL THEN IT REALLY ISN'T THE FUNNIEST THING YOU READ ON TMD NOW IS IT???

 

Yes it is, you dumb*ss, since now you can read it on TMD 

[Jacob Orlove]

How have people omitted the SCG 2 Pictures thread? Marc's report is especially great.

Don't forget this gem:

To get an idea of just how drunk Marc got that night, check out this irc convo. that I had to copy and email to myself for posterity (I had set the irc nick to joshparty after installing mIRC so that anyone could sit down and start talking):

From: Jacob Orlove <j_orlove@hotmail.com>
To: j_orlove@hotmail.com
Date: Sat, 23 Oct 2004 23:39:12 -0700
Subject: perez drunk
<joshparty> hihhiihhihihi
<joshparty> i am assholamane
<Ephraim> Well now, and here I thought this place as dull.
<joshparty> i like bosy
<joshparty> boys
<joshparty> anus
<joshparty> eat it
<Ephraim> But since it's been graced with the presence of assholamane...
<joshparty> wnt t make dse
<joshparty> xerx
<joshparty> sex
<joshparty> how bout we are the anssnsus sexxo?
<Ephraim> Nah, never mind. It's still dull.
<joshparty> i love you
<joshparty> ephran
<joshparty> hiihihhiihhi'
<joshparty> ?
<Ephraim> I feel nothing for you whatsoever. You bore me.
<joshparty> whant to make me pleafure
<joshparty> ?
<joshparty> asl?
<Ephraim> bored/bored/bored
<joshparty> m/22/va
<joshparty> nopes
<joshparty> awant to the gay?
<joshparty> anyone
<joshparty> ?
<Ephraim> and your asl may as well be boring/boring/boring
<joshparty> maybe xservux:?
<joshparty> xzerubru
<joshparty> zerbus
<joshparty> gay?
<joshparty> saix
<joshparty> ?
<joshparty> mabye
<joshparty> nopes
<joshparty> gg
<joshparty> my name is clergy en vec
<joshparty> i am the blow job
<Nitelite2> shutup
<joshparty> on the guy from anssu
<Ephraim> Your name is Boris McBoring
<Ephraim> The only thing entertaining about you is telling you how boring you are.
<Ephraim> And that's starting to bore me.
<joshparty> i love you
<Ephraim> Whatever

[Saucemaster]

The drunk Marc IRC log takes the cake for me.  DSE 4L

[Joel Rojo]

This is actually from #BDChat, but, whatever:

<AxeMurder> it's not like I'm fucking her in the back of my car or anything
<jpmeyer> whoa, whoa!
<jpmeyer> here we say "facking"

--------

<jpmeyer> zoo is like anal sex with a baby tight

--------

<obithrawn> I'm gonna marry kai =[
<jpmeyer> so maybe you can get better at magic through osmosis?

--------

<AxeMurder> hate morons
<AxeMurder> <Ophidian> ip ext?
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> huh?
<AxeMurder> <Ophidian> extended
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> huH?
<AxeMurder> <Ophidian> ip?
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> huh?
<AxeMurder> <Ophidian> I PLAY EXTENDED
<AxeMurder> <Ophidian> ip?
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> what in the world
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> make you possibly think
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> that I would want to play extended
<AxeMurder> <Ophidian> i would want play extended
<AxeMurder> <Ophidian> i need your ip
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> I know you do
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> but why in the world would I possibly be interested?
<AxeMurder> <Ophidian> are you stupid???
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> no
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> what I'm trying to say is
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> you messaged me randomly
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> and I have absoultly
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> no interest in playing extended
<AxeMurder> <Ophidian> bye
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> lol
<AxeMurder> <Ophidian> you don't understand
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> yes I do
<AxeMurder> <AxeMurder> lol

---------

<Rndm-MisR> Game record for HATE.dec
<Rndm-MisR> My new T2 deck
<Rndm-MisR> 57 wins...and 7 losses
*** cooberp has quit IRC (Quit: )
<Nimrod> they should forbid for ppl to announce #apprentice records as stats
<Rndm-MisR> ehhh...
<Valdner> lol
<Rndm-MisR> well...alot of em are against BD guys too
<Rndm-MisR> Just that there isnt as much T2 players:/
<Nimrod> they should ban testing against ETP as stats
<Nimrod>
<Rndm-MisR> hehehe

-------------

* Porc wonders what Rndm-Misr is like, and if he is a good player

-------------

<dt|wolfe> shutup. I have a broken penis.
<dtower> omg
<dtower> my penis is a morphling!

--------------

[23:07] <ruken>
[23:08] <ETP> didnt Cid already talk to you about your random happiness?
[23:08] <ruken>
[23:09] <ETP> thats better


*****

Also, from E-League (was it #e-league?, I dont even remember anymore)

<DSCreamer> Most anyone here could beat Kai 40/60

----------------
<parabel> i wrote them a letter about Fact or Fiction
<parabel> it should never have been restricted
<parabel> if anything, red elemental blast should be

-----------------------

(talking about keeper)

<ThLunaria> Ive drawn 3 mana drains in 5 turns while getting beat down by creatures and a SCroll
<Fei> so, thats why you use bounce
(...)
<ThLunaria> Abyss doesnt help when youre at 15 and your opponent has 3 creatures with 2 power out

-------------

<Twilo`> what if you deal 1 damage to a counterspell on the stack, it has no toughness. does it die?
<boyfrm_MD> no, the one damage is put into the graveyard :/
<Twilo`> do you die if you have 20 damage in the graveyard?

[Kerz]

I really, really liked that random guy who called kl0wn a cumdumpster. But, I appreciate this:

Kerz's version of another one bites the dust in particular?

[Kasuras]

I really, really liked that random guy who called kl0wn a cumdumpster. But, I appreciate this:

Kerz's version of another one bites the dust in particular?

I've got it taped into the first page of my trading binder since you made it. ;>