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oldbsturgeon
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« on: January 13, 2006, 10:00:08 am » |
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these remind me of that feinstein stuff that goes on here, but instead i actually know who chuck norris is. http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/some are actually pretty funny while others are a stretch. |
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mr_rogers
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« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2006, 10:13:19 am » |
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That's great! I <3 Chuck Norris  |
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Team WTF!?!?!............Big multicolored hats rule!
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49 Cents
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Von Dutch
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« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2006, 10:27:37 am » |
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I actually laughed so hard at some of these that I almost pissed my pants.
Wait, i gotta go chance..
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Team TDC: The man with a new idea is a fool. Unless the idea turns out to be a succes. www.BeNeLegacy.nl - For all your Legacy |
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Whatever Works
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« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2006, 12:07:10 pm » |
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That is histerical. Reminds me a bit of Bill Brasky (sinse the eating a cake with a stripper 1 is from bill brasky), but still great!
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Team Retribution
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Klep
OMG I'M KLEP!
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« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2006, 12:11:21 pm » |
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Chuck Norris <<< Richard Dean Anderson
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So I suppose I should take The Fringe back out of my sig now...
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orgcandman
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Providence protects children and idiots
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« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2006, 12:14:23 pm » |
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Btw, guys http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspxDid you guys know that chuck norris once denied the fact that he roundhouse kicked everyone in the face? He did so to throw everyone off their guard so that he could do it again. |
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Ball and ChainCongrats to the winners, but as we all know, everyone who went to this tournament was a winner Just to clarify...people name Aaron are amazing
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Machinus
Keldon Ancient
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« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2006, 12:57:04 pm » |
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Chuck Norris <<< Richard Dean Anderson
So true. |
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T1: Arsenal
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Kowal
My name is not Brian.
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Posts: 2497
Reanimate your feet!
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« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2006, 01:11:33 pm » |
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A local radio station interviewed Chuck Norris this morning. He said he's well aware of the Chuck Norris "facts" on the internet, and explained that his personal favorite one was:
At night, the boogeyman checks his closet to make sure that Chuck Norris isn't in there.
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Mr. Type 4
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Creator of Type 4 - Discoverer of Steve Menendian
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« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2006, 04:02:30 pm » |
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My favorite is definitly: Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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2008 VINTAGE CHAMPION 2013 NYSE OPEN I CHAMPION Team Meandeck Mastriano's the only person I know who can pick up chicks and win magic tournaments at the same time.
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Harkius
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« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2006, 04:21:26 pm » |
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I actually heard one of these on the radio this morning, and then I saw this post. It made it even funnier.
My favorite is Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. This kind of thing is just so damn geeky that it makes me laugh.
Harkius
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Three essential tools for posting on the forums: Spell Check, Preview, and Your Brain. Use Them!
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Lunar
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« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2006, 05:06:36 pm » |
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"When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, The French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side."
I think that has to be my personal favorite...it goes well with orlove's discovery of what happens when you google "french military victories" and hit the im feeling lucky button...
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Dozer - "TMD is not a place where everyone can just post what was revealed to them in their latest wet dream"
Webster - "most of the deck is pimped, like my insane shirt, which exudes a level of pimpness only to be expressed as sublime."
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Limbo
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« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2006, 06:56:08 pm » |
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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Awesome...
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Without magic, life would be a mistake - Friedrich Nietzsche Chuck would ask Chuck how a woodchuck would chuck wood... as fast as this. |
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TJ-Whoopy
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« Reply #12 on: January 13, 2006, 09:46:46 pm » |
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Chuck Norris CAN eat just one lay's potato chip
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Ball and Chain: The only Magic team worth being on when you no longer play Magic
Retired from Magic and loving it.
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Revvik
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« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2006, 06:35:20 am » |
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
I may just order the damn shirt. |
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http://www.thehardlessons.com/I will break into your house while you aren't home and disguise myself as a chair. Then I will leave before you get home, but there will be a place at your table where I was a chair and you will wonder why there isn't a chair there. Then later I will leave the chair disguise on your doorstep and you will realize what has happened and you will be afraid all the time. Helter Skelter mother fuckers!
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Robert the Swordsman
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Posts: 216
See you later, sunshine.
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« Reply #14 on: January 14, 2006, 11:59:18 am » |
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Look up the "Chuck Norris Superkicks" game series for the Atari 2600. You are "Chuck Norris" trying to reach an ancient monastery to rescue a
famous leader that is being held hostage. BEWARE! Dangerous warriors lie
in waiting to spoil your efforts to reach your goal. You begin your journey
as a White Belt, the first belt in the sport of Karate. By defeating the
attackers, scoring points, and learning new martial skills, you will earn
each of the colored belts associated with the "Tang Soo Do" style of karate.
You must achieve the highest rank of all, the Black Belt, in order to reach
and enter the monastery which is guarded by the fearsome NINJA assassins.
(C) 1983 XONOX. All Rights Reserved |
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I'm sorry, Miss Nanako. Looks like I won't be able to take you to the beach like I promised.
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Meddling Mike
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« Reply #15 on: January 26, 2006, 05:24:13 pm » |
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I read this in a library, not a good idea, the laughing out loud repeatedly did not go over well.
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Meddling Mike posts so loudly that nobody can get a post in edgewise.
Team TMD - If you feel that team secrecy is bad for Vintage put this in your signature
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jpmeyer
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« Reply #16 on: January 26, 2006, 11:08:25 pm » |
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There is now a German translation of the site.
Der Hauptexport von Chuck Norris ist Schmerz.
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Team Meandeck: "As much as I am a clueless, credit-stealing, cheating homo I do think we would do well to consider the current stage of the Vintage community." -Smmenen
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Joblin Velder
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« Reply #17 on: January 27, 2006, 12:05:39 am » |
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An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
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Team Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday: I will pee all over myself then we'll see who will end up looking bad.
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Bardo
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Res Ipsa Loquitur
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« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2006, 12:48:09 pm » |
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Some of my favorites:
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
The opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan� is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris invented doggy-style, except he calls it Chuck Norris-style, and you better too.
Chuck Norris is the current midget toss champion with a record toss of 79 feet.
Chuck Norris doesnt go to the toilet, the toilet comes to him.
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noitcelfeRmaeT||TeamReflection - .gniyd ysub si ,nrob gnieb ysub ton eH
:nraw ot sevorp ,sdrow detsaw syalp nroh wolloh ehT
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forests failed you
De Stijl
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Posts: 2018
Venerable Saint
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« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2006, 02:50:52 pm » |
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
huck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
A few of my faves.
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Grand Prix Boston 2012 Champion
Follow me on Twitter: @BrianDeMars1
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Harkius
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« Reply #20 on: January 27, 2006, 03:05:11 pm » |
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An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.
That is FANTASTIC.  I am not sure what to think of it, but I am glad that this has not degenerated into just favorites. Cheers, Harkius |
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Three essential tools for posting on the forums: Spell Check, Preview, and Your Brain. Use Them!
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Baron.Pocket
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« Reply #21 on: January 27, 2006, 03:26:47 pm » |
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It made me laugh a lot. One of my favorite : In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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Evenpence
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« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2006, 11:50:50 pm » |
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You know, on his website, Chuck Norris handled this issue MASTERFULLY.
This guy is a CLASS ACT. I've got a ton of respect for the guy, just for the simple fact that he wasn't offended at this thing, said some of them were even funny, even though he's definitely not that kind of a guy.
I actually wrote him an email earlier today saying how impressed I was with his handling of it. I just had to.
Anyway, I don't know if this one's online, but I heard it from a friend today:
Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.
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« Last Edit: January 29, 2006, 12:45:48 am by Evenpence »
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[17:25] Desolutionist: i hope they reprint empty the warrens as a purple card in planar chaos |
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Mind_under_Matter
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« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2006, 01:25:57 am » |
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Chuck Norris knows the last number of Pi.
Best two hours I ever spent.
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So in conclusion, creatures are bad. Play blue cards instead.
-Dr. Sylvan
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Meddling Mike
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« Reply #24 on: February 15, 2006, 05:15:11 pm » |
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When Chuck Norris play magic he doesn't offer you a prize split, he offers to let you live.
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Meddling Mike posts so loudly that nobody can get a post in edgewise.
Team TMD - If you feel that team secrecy is bad for Vintage put this in your signature
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The Atog Lord
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« Reply #25 on: February 15, 2006, 06:03:45 pm » |
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Chuck Norris is the best Control Slaver player in the world.
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The Academy: If I'm not dead, I have a Dragonlord Dromoka coming in 4 turns
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jpmeyer
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« Reply #26 on: February 15, 2006, 09:31:01 pm » |
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Chuck Norris is the best Control Slaver player in the world.
Chuck Norris doesn't need Mindslaver to take control of you turn. |
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Team Meandeck: "As much as I am a clueless, credit-stealing, cheating homo I do think we would do well to consider the current stage of the Vintage community." -Smmenen
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49 Cents
Basic User
Posts: 591
Von Dutch
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« Reply #27 on: February 16, 2006, 04:43:17 am » |
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to go to a tourney to win it.
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Team TDC: The man with a new idea is a fool. Unless the idea turns out to be a succes. www.BeNeLegacy.nl - For all your Legacy |
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Nastaboi
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« Reply #28 on: February 16, 2006, 05:54:41 am » |
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A hapless Workshop player once told Chuck Norris to "first sac, then tap".
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Hahaha. I don't think that face quite suits my body!
Don't worry, it doesn't fit mine either. |
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NCM
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Posts: 39
Full of lies
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« Reply #29 on: February 16, 2006, 07:19:46 am » |
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these remind me of that feinstein stuff that goes on here, but instead i actually know who chuck norris is. Did you know that Chuck Norris gave birth to Dave Feinstein in 1970 while fighting off an army of Vietnamese Ninja robots? TO CHUCK NORRIS! |
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