Cooker Penguins, Scarves and Burning Slaver; 2nd in the Mitten.

[forests failed you]

2nd at Mox Sapphire Tournament Sunday Feb 12 at RIW hobbies in Livonia Michigan


Okay.  So I wanted to play Gifts.  That was the plan all week long.  Franklin and I were going to playtest Friday and Saturday night and come up to RIW Sunday morning with tweaked Gifts lists that wrecked face.  Drinking, smoking, bar going, and partying all got in the way of that plan.  I spent all of Saturday night until five in the morning playing Mental Magic with Josh Minore and listening to Elliot Smith and the Postal Service severely inebriated.  I don't regret it for a second.  Anyways, I woke up late for the tourney;  threw together my seedy whore of a deck, Burning Slaver, and was ready to play some Vintage.  Actually, I woke up really hung over and babbling.  The joke of the day was that Minore, Danielle, Frankin, Z, and myself stayed at Franklin's appartment Saturday night, and all slept in his room because he has a space heater and the temp in the house was sub zero.  In spite of the heater, I woke up hung over, shivvering, and COLD COLD COLD.  In my stupidness, I start babbling to Franklin from across the room who is also feeling the cold, boose and craving for food.  The conversation sounds something like this.

B hey
F morning
B its fucking freezing
F lucky I have a blanket
B how lucky indeed
B I'm so hungry
F me too
B you know what you need
F what?
B Cooker Penguins
F What the fuck are you talking about?
B you know, cooker penguins
F please stop
B no serious, little penguins to cook us all breakfast
JM:  what is brian talking about
F I don't know, cooking penguins
B no, cooker penguins.  to make breakfast.
F you are being incoherent
B its so cold, its like their natural habitat
JM he's got a point
F don't encourage him
B I don't see why there are not five penguins making pancakes downstairs
F i'm going back to sleep leave me alone
JM you are ridiculous

There were more attendents at the event that I expected.  I was happy, we had drawn a big crowd.  Franklin and I again teamed up and dubbed our alliance, team Cooker Penguins for the day.  I'm rocking the scarf and ready to play awesome MTG.

I played my Waterbury list card for card.  I was so convinced it was good!!!!!!!!  And I thought I'd give it one more chance

Round one.  Slaver

Game one is a joke.  I have Library on the draw and out draw him considerably.  He misses his third land drop and the game is actually over at that point.  I set up a quick Slaver lock and he scoops.
Game two:  This game is fairly closely contested.  I have a mana Heavy hand without much business.  I counter a few spells and force through a Gifts Ungiven in response to his Gorilla shaman on the stack, topped by my drain, topped by his drain.  I get Tinker, Sundering Titan, Burning Wish, and Mystical Tutor.  he gives me Burning Wish and Titan.  I then Drain his Drain.  Untap hardcast Titan and Anhilate his lands.  He untaps and plays a welder, as he already has a Trike in play.  I untap Burning Wish for Rolling Earthquake, Earthquake for Seven and swing for seven.  GG.  I rambled much about Cooker Penguins, my opponent was confused.

1-0

Ben Perry playing TPS.

Game one I lucksack my way to a victory.,  I have Vamp for Recall into slops.  Turn two Ben Duresses and sees either a castable Drain or Will.  He takes Drain as he can probably try and go off next turn.  I realize I am in big troubles.  I rip Lotus and do stupid things.  Game one is mine.  Game two:  I have absolutely nothing.   I cast turn one Pyrite Spellbomb.  He Duresses and sees nothing, and slops his storm count with WIll.  Vamps and casts Necropotence for ten.  He gets unlucky and hits nothing, and casts Gifts, but he makes a mistake in the gifts pile and can't actually win the game anymore.  He has to scoop as he is necro locked, to my Island, Volcanic Island, Pyrite Spellbomb at three life.  I get very lucky.  2-0  I wanted to talk about cooker penguins, but Ben wanted to talk about fighting Midgets.  The conversation was very, very strange.

Round Three:  Alana playing Combo Oath

I've been watching this girl play with interest all day.  She has an absolutely savage Oath deck, that Oaths into Yawgmoth's Will via Recoup and Kroson Reck.   She plays a turn one Boseiju and passes.  I am very frightened.  I play a welder and pass.  She drops Oath, I play some moxen pass.  She Oaths up Akroma, I Thirst and Duplicant it.  But she only has three cards in Library, in cluding Kroson Reck and Will and if she makes a land drop enough mana to go off.  I draw Mystical and find Recall for the win.
Game two:  I do stupid broken things and kill her on turn two with Yawgmoth's Will.
3-0

Round four Josh Frankin.  We just draw and talk about how good we are.

3-0-1

Round Five Kurt Fruth -  We Id again.

3-0-2

TOP EIGHT-  Go go team cooker penguins

Mitch playing Gifts.

I have a lot of Mana and he has a lot of spells and not so much Mana.  I Vamp for Mindslaver and cast it with a welder in play and four mana open.  we move to game two.  Game two I do broken shit with Library.  At the end of the game he has zero permenents and I have every permenent in my deck in play.  Library has been good to me once again.  Thank god opposing control decks don't play Strip Mine or Wasteland.

4-0-2

Nicolae Almightly playing Wild Zombies

He has me beaten game one.  A confidant beating down and I have no business.  He opts to sac his confidant to flashback Cabal Therepy to hit my force of will so he can put a null rod down.  It works.  He then starts in with Life from the Loam Strip Mine.  I luckily didn't crack my fetches so the going os slow.  He draws no more threats, and I eventually Burning Wish for echoing ruin on his Rod, and Cast a devestating Yawg Will, and untap with Slaver and make him dredge 16 cards for the win.
Game two is really weird.  I recall and draw for turn into seven artifact mana sources and Colossus, which is met by Null Rod.  He has Bazaar going and pitches two StPs and I wait as he has only a slow clock.   Eventually I find E truth and EOT bouce the Rod and Cast Draksteel.  He can't find his last swoards in time.  GG

5-0-2

I still have after seven rounds a 100% game win percentage.

REVVY playing Togless Tog.

He gets game one with a turn one Tinker Colossus which I answer with Welder.  He then just draws Moxes and casts tendrils for 12 while I'm at eight.  I drain twice and force to put me at one.  One of his storm cards was Walk.  So he untaps and plays will.  I lose.

Game two I tinker for colossus turn one and he dies.

Game three:  I have Library going but miss repeated land drops.  He has a hand of five cards that doesn't lose.  AK 3, Drain, Drain, Drain, Mystical Tutor.

I tripple counter the AK and he untaps and plays Will for the win.  Pretty savage hands.

I take second place, and am fairly happy;  however rattled that he out brokened me two of three games.  I curse at my foil Asian Deltas and Strands for choosing not to show up Ever.

Props;

Rolling Earthquake for claiming another Victim.
Franklin for the beers and the smoke/
Mitch for giving me a foil Asian Echoing Truth to finish off my deck.
Minore/  for being minore
Pac for once again getting savaged by Franklin's Stupid broken bullshit
Revvy for playing well.
Nicolae for showing up and playing a deck that uses Cabal Therepy.
Alana for playing the most savage and interesting deck at the tourney outside of Bslaver.
Everybody for comming out and having a great time.
Dave Rappaport for doing a fine job judging and having fifty minute rounds this time.
Pam for putting on the event.
Scarves.

Slops;

Land for never showing up in game three.
Darksteel Colossus for being the most homosexual win condition ever.
Jdizzle for newbing it up and not being at the event.  I miss you man.

[Evenpence]

This is a great report.  I'm glad you lost!  No one should be able to have a 100% win ratio over seven rounds, even with a double ID.   

Good work though, I really liked your Waterbury list, and expected you to T8 for sure.  Why exactly have you moved from CS to Gifts all of a sudden?

[Disburden]

Awesome report.

Just one thing, when are you guys going to realize Slaver is dead and the only good deck out there is Oath?

lol.

[Revvik]

I completely fucking forgot to ask what the deal with the penguins was!  Oh well, now I know.
Another thing I forgot to ask about was the whole onelovemachine's girlfriend thing - I heard that was over and to be honest, my first thought was "oh no did she start reading themanadrain?"

Round one you faced my teammate Charly, who split the Lotus that one time.  When he walked up to me afterwards he looked like he got shot or something.  Your Sundering Titan definitely performed for you when I saw it in our casual games.

Expect to see me at the next one.  If not to win, then at least I have to give that Mana Vault back to Ben Perry - the one that says Height of Pleasure from the Depths of Hell.

[Jacob Orlove]

Oh snap, cooker penguins! That was going to be Meandeck's sercet tech for Richmond.

[nataz]

F I don't know, cooking penguins
B no, cooker penguins. to make breakfast.

I actualy snorted here. There are a lot of good reports going up lately, but not a single one can match cooker penguins.

@the oath list
Did she run a MD tendrils?

[forests failed you]

Yeah, she definately had MD Tendrils.  and Kroson Rec and Recoup to cast it.  Not to mention, she was maindecking Boseiju.  That is scary shit right there.

I checked ebay/.  there are no cooker penguins for sale as of right now.

[Special K]

Tendrills was in the Board she runs Burning Wish to get it.

Good Report... I have yet to see a cooker penguin and I live in Canada

[Komatteru]

Jdizzle for newbing it up and not being at the event.� I miss you man.

The days of Michigan tournaments not being graced with JD's presence are limited.  http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=27229.0 

[GrizzledVeteran]

So I figured that now was as good a time as any to make my official TMD debut (Yes, this means you should all be cowering in fear at the smart-assness that will soon be running rampant. Oh wait- you already have to deal with Brian). Anyways, this was definitely the best RIW tourney to date, so many savage matches and shit-tons of fun. Let's keep Michigan the heart of the Vintage metagame.

So yeah, some comments:

Brian: You actually are the funniest person that I've ever known. Let's go drink tonight! Bring the Penguins.

Rev: Congrats man! Though it was really odd watching you attack with something other than a 1/2 basketball with teeth.

Fisholo: You shoulda just stuck with Fish; who wants to play with good cards anyways.


And this is officially an open invite to, well, all of Canada I suppose. Josh Franklin's house. The night before the next tourney (or really ANY night for that matter). I'll bring the smoke; you bring some beer from the motherland. We'll get hammered, playtest, and play mental magic till 6 in the morning, then go wreck-face playing cards. How we lose?

~The OTHER Josh

[cryolyte]

I was the round one casualty of the savageness that is Brian Demars. As Revvik said, I was completely stunned by the Sundering Titan, and then devastated by a rolling earthquake. It was like being shot in the stomach and then pistol-whipped. I don't remember hearing anything about penguins, but it was probably because I was so distraught. After splitting the lotus last time, I never expected to go 0-5 at this tourney. Sorry I couldn't help your tie-breakers, Brian, but it's not like you needed it anyway. Congratulations on your finish!

cryolyte

[MoxMonkey]

Great Finish.  LOA is so broken.

Cooker Penguins Would Rule.  Tell me if you see any on EBay.

[forests failed you]

Haha, Josh you are the man.  "GrizzledVeteran" in an amazing user name!!!  It has to do with his inate ability to smoke way more than any reasonable person should.  Incidently, my nickname in the circle is "the Bench Warmer" because I always pass out or fall asleep, or cease to be functional.

Yes, Minore we will drink tonight. 

[Lou]

This is off topic, but I just wanted to make sure it was known...

The Vintage Avante Garde nor any other Vintage team will out smoke or out drink the Colorado Crew.  You may beat us at Magic.  You may fuck our mothers.  But you will not out party us.  And about the mother comment, I take that back, because I am pretty sure even our mothers will out party you!

On topic, this tournament sounded like it was a blast, and I really hope some of the CC can make the trek to Michigan to get down on some of this action.

Also, nice report Brian.

[GrizzledVeteran]

This is off topic, but I just wanted to make sure it was known...

The Vintage Avante Garde nor any other Vintage team will out smoke or out drink the Colorado Crew.  You may beat us at Magic.  You may fuck our mothers.  But you will not out party us.  And about the mother comment, I take that back, because I am pretty sure even our mothers will out party you!

On topic, this tournament sounded like it was a blast, and I really hope some of the CC can make the trek to Michigan to get down on some of this action.

Also, nice report Brian.

Lou- Let it be known that you and the rest of the Colorado crew are well-known around Michigan for your mad partying skills. But let it also be known that this is just WHAT WE DO. Consider this an official challenge from Brian, Josh F, and myself. Drag your crew out to one of our tournies, and we will not only out party you the night before, then wreak havoc at the tourney, but if you're still alive after all of that, we'll get hammered the next night in celebration of our victory.

And if Demars breaks out his scarf, you'd better hide your mothers/sisters/girlfriends/wives. That man can talk the pants off any woman.


edit: Brian, much drinks and smokes tonight. I'll be down that way sometime after work. I have to stop and bring Pam some "supplies" too.

[Revvik]

Rev: Congrats man! Though it was really odd watching you attack with something other than a 1/2 basketball with teeth.

Hey - before I sold em, my three foil "basketballs with teeth" had killed enough people to be classified as the WMD's Bush was looking for.  I should dig em back out again, let them get a taste for your blood again.

I'm certainly no hope in the "out-drink the Colorado crew" competition.  Way too out of practice.

[forests failed you]

Awesome!  We definately need to do some crazy partying in Richmond Va next month. 
Glad you fellas enjoyed the report and the event.  I'm awaiting confirmation on the date for an Ancestral Recall tournament set to take place sometime next month. 

I understand that i am the benchwarmer when it comes to all intoxicants other than drinking.  However, when it comes to drinking:  Beware; I may rock a scarf, but so did Doc Holiday. 

[PacmanXSA]

Awesome!  We definately need to do some crazy partying in Richmond Va next month. 
Glad you fellas enjoyed the report and the event.  I'm awaiting confirmation on the date for an Ancestral Recall tournament set to take place sometime next month. 

I understand that i am the benchwarmer when it comes to all intoxicants other than drinking.  However, when it comes to drinking:  Beware; I may rock a scarf, but so did Doc Holiday. 

Pfftt.  I'll see what you're made of in March

Pac

[Jacob Orlove]

Oh man, I hope you guys get to party with Marc Perez. That man is savage.

[PacmanXSA]

Oh man, I hope you guys get to party with Marc Perez. That man is savage.

I'd rather party with YOU Mr. Orlove!

Secluded walks on the beach, holding hands, Franklin's ex-girlfriend... Mmmm.... Good times

Pac

[Jacob Orlove]

Oh man, I hope you guys get to party with Marc Perez. That man is savage.

I'd rather party with YOU Mr. Orlove!

Secluded walks on the beach, holding hands, Franklin's ex-girlfriend... Mmmm.... Good times

Pac

Oh baby! This is going to be one crazy weekend.

[forests failed you]

Awesome!  We definately need to do some crazy partying in Richmond Va next month. 
Glad you fellas enjoyed the report and the event.  I'm awaiting confirmation on the date for an Ancestral Recall tournament set to take place sometime next month. 

I understand that i am the benchwarmer when it comes to all intoxicants other than drinking.  However, when it comes to drinking:  Beware; I may rock a scarf, but so did Doc Holiday. 

Pfftt.  I'll see what you're made of in March

Pac

Be careful not to get yourself in over your head.  Are you sure you have what it takes to drink with the Vintage Avant-Garde?  Also, are you sure you have what it takes to keep up with the Vintage Avant-Garde?

[Revvik]

Beware; I may rock a scarf, but so did Doc Holiday. 

For reference:



Demars is on the right.

[Klep]

Bah, you call that a scarf? That's barely a cravat! THIS is a scarf:

[PacmanXSA]

Bah, you call that a scarf? That's barely a cravat! THIS is a scarf:

That actually kinda looks like Brian

Pac

[forests failed you]

You just think that because he is scowling!

[Penguin]

Hey what's up with all this sudden talk about penguins?  I mean penguins are savage tech for any necessities.  My secret supply of penguins are quite peculiar.  If I had to tell someone what they were like I would probably say oompa-loompas except they haven't finished working out their little skits.

Anyways congrats on finishing 2nd, it would have been fun if I could have made it so I could see how one of these tournaments actually plays out as I haven't been able to make it to one but alas I guess I will have to wait.

That is pretty amazing however going 100% in game wins in 7 rounds.

[Klep]

The best Penguin ever is Pokey the Penguin.  All hail Pokey!

[forests failed you]

clearly you have confused 'best' with 'gayest' or 'lamest' penguin ever.

[Retaks13Mac]

Now round one in top 8 didn't go that easy for you Brian. I lost game one because I play error-ed and didn't know the game state(thinking you were in main phase 2 not 1) so your drain mana let you activate slaver. You also got game 2 confused with game 3 because if I remember correctly in game 2 you went turn one Library and didn't draw a land till turn 3 and I played a turn 3 gifts and you said "let's go to game 3" Well doesn't matter to much, I screwed it up pretty bad but I learned from it.

By the way I am on the drain now, lol. This is my user name.

Mitch