What's the weirdest thing you've done with a card?

[Bram]

In his 100th article, Smmenen made the excellent choice (prompted by some renegade moderator) of doing a mailbag article. One if the questions I asked him was the following:

What's the weirdest non-Magic-related thing you've ever done with an actual Magic card?

Steve's reply was this:

I'm not quite sure what you are getting at? Do you think I use Magic cards in erotic ways?

Since I felt the need to answer Steve's question, I thought I'd combine it with starting this thread. First of all: no, I was not fishing for erotic stories involving magic cards (or more truthfully, I was, but I knew full that that's not what I was gonna get). I was actually thinking of two particular incidents in my own past:

1. I once buttered a sandwich using an Ice Cave, for lack of a knife. I signed it, and it's still sitting in a friend's binder, bits of raspberry jam and all.

2. I once ate (part of) a magic card on a dare (it was a green common; I seem to rememebr it was a Far Wanderings, which feels strangely appropriate).

So now that I've cleared up the mailbag question, I ask al of you: what strange, non-magic things have YOU ever done with a card?

[Roxas]

I use junk commons and white-bordered basic land as scratch paper for math or writing down phone call messages or to make reminders for myself (kind of like post-it notes), since they are in abundance on my desk.  They also make good bookmarks, coasters, and straight edges for drawing lines. 

[warble]

Two magic revised cards weigh approximately 3.5 grams, plus or minus 0.1.  When I weigh things that should weigh approximately 3.5 grams (or one eighth of an ounce) I can use two magic cards to tare the scale.  I've done this countless times with other peoples' scales.  The tricksy mofos are always tryin' to get that extra 0.2...

[Mr. Nightmare]

I use junk commons and white-bordered basic land as scratch paper for math or writing down phone call messages or to make reminders for myself (kind of like post-it notes), since they are in abundance on my desk.  They also make good bookmarks, coasters, and straight edges for drawing lines. 

I've used cards for all these things as well, but the strangest thing I've used them for is probably a squeegie while playing beer-pong.

[Magi]

I microwaved a foil Goblin Trenches.

I still have it...somewhere. It looks really neat.

I also used them as coasters, bookmarks, notepads, ninja stars, straightedges, all the usual stuff.

[netherspirit]

Great for throwing at friends when they really do some thing to f**k you off. Hehehe, so much fun....

[Fubar]

Really, really hard up for a smoke at 3am I used a card to roll tobacco in.  Man talk about nasty.

[BigMac]

I actually seen somebody use it as wallpaper, and by that i mean on the actual wall.

When you fold the corners it is a pretty neet ashtray. As i do not smoke and have none of them thingies that could get handy some day.

dust-collectors. Just leave them on a table or something else and leave them there for a really long time.

[Norm4eva]

I think I ate a Defy Gravity.  That's the Jump with Madness, right?  That's the one I ate.  It was...really sweet, if I recall correctly.  I remember thinking, "These are way better than Post-Its."

[The M.E.T.H.O.D]

I once used protective sphere as a condom.

and when I cut myself i wet a healing salve and just patched myself up.

[M.Solymossy]

the marijuana scale is definitely the best!

[Cross]

Someone ate a beta time walk.

[Bram]

I think I ate a Defy Gravity.  That's the Jump with Madness, right?  That's the one I ate.  It was...really sweet, if I recall correctly.  I remember thinking, "These are way better than Post-Its."

Aren't they, though?

[dandan]

I use mine to collect dust under my bed until I can be assed to think of a dumb casual deck to put them in.

I did try to use them to teach Rebecca (my daughter) English but
1. She learns faster than I can teach
2. She greatly prefers monster to tiger, lion, frog, bear.

Commons also make great packaging material when sending cards.

I use them to protect the inside of card sleeves. This also helps you count your card sleeves.

[Bram]

OK, let's summarize. Up to now, we've discerned the following uses for magic cards, other than a game of magic:

- (butter)knife
- food
- notepad
- bookmark
- coaster
- ruler
- marijuana scale calibration
- squeegie
- offensive weapon
- wallpaper
- cigarette papers
- ashtray
- packaging material
- card sleeve protectors

My, what useful things they are! I'm sure there are many more uses. Please continue.

[Harlequin]

I use them to protect the inside of card sleeves. This also helps you count your card sleeves.

I totally know what your talking about.  But come ON.   When you just read that... its sounds silly.

They also make great shims for wobbly tables and chairs.  You can also fold them into little Froggies and make them jump.  The jump REALLY far too, because the cardboard is nice and springy.

[Klep]

Cat Toy.  I'm good enough at throwing cards that I can get good distance and the cats just dash off after them.

[SonataOfTheCathedral]

Made a castle out of them.

[Juggernaut GO]

Omg, I tip strippers with 1$ foil rares.


then we play type 4 after their shift is over.

[Hspecter]

Made a castle out of them.

Pastimes in Chicago had a giant Dragon head made out of cards hanging in their store back in the day.

[Dozer]

I've used Magic cards to scrape stuff countless times now. Like, scrape some crumbs off the table. Scrape glue remnants from cabinet doors. Scrape sticky dirt off the floor. I found that for bookmarks, though, the cards are actually too thick for my liking.

I like the idea of weights. You could cheat on that by using Foils, especially older ones. I also love the idea of the ashtrays, springing frogs and cat toys. Harlequin, can you describe how exactly you fold them for the frog thingy? Do you have a preferred method to make them go furthest?

Oh, and recently, a friend and I entertained the idea of angering trash collectors. Just take all your superfluous commons and put them into display boxes. You know, the ones you don't need? Here in Germany, we have those public recycling paper collecting containers, each of which contains two to three cubic meters of space. Just fill that up with commons, and watch those guys push. A display box holds approximately 750 cards or so, two of which together weigh the aforementioned 3.5 grams. That's a lot of weight to move...

I've also heard (not done or seen) about people using Magic cards as tinder in their fireplaces. They burn in pretty colors, so they say... and I have also tried to open a closed door without a handle with a Magic card once. It didn't work. The wallpaper idea has come up countless times, and the consensus I've reached was that the best thing would be to have entire sets put up on the wall. or maybe 4x-common-sets. I might just do that with my clothes cabinet when I move next month... if I do, I'll make sure to get pictures up.

Oh, I just remembered: I've used Magic cards to cover my tea cup so nothing flies into it and the tea stays warm longer. (This works.)

[pyr0ma5ta]

MY BETA TIME WALK!!

[Juggernaut GO]

you have it all wrong....

OH NO!!!!  MY BETA TIME WALK!!!!!

[ashiXIII]

I've attempted to use Magic cards as toothpicks numerous times when something I'm eating gets stuck in my teeth. However, this usually just ends in getting part of the card stuck in my teeth, also.

[Harlequin]

When I get home, ill search around for hte origami froggies.  But I'll try and describe it:

It actually works best if you cut about a 1/3 to 1/4 off one side of the card.  then the legs will be long enough to get a good spring action.

Bend the top down until the top half of the card is roughly 1/2 of a square.  then pinch in the new top 'coners'  of the bend(wich if the card were unfolder would be roughly 1/3 down from the top edge of the card). fold those side edges inside the bend and make them meet in the center of the card.  Flatten that whole thing down to make a triangle (the top edge of the card will be folded down, and the sides of the card will be folded inward.  If you can get that, your basically 90% done.

It will kinda look like a house, a pointy top, with a rectangle base.  The roof will actually be 4 layers think. and the base only one layer think.  Take the front 2 layers and fold them up to the point of the roof, make the crease and let them come back out to make the front legs.  Now take the back layer and fold it a the 1/4 and 3/4 marks and fold them together the long way.  (tucking the part thats under the roof inside the roof.  Now you've got a the front legs on the front layer, and a big long back layer.  Now make creases in the back layer so it looks like a "Z" from the side.  When you look at it from the side it will kinda look like this:
___
 /  Z

now your done, just press down on his butt and let it slide over your fingernail (a bit like a tiddlywink). and he will jump.

[Anusien]

The weirdest thing I've done with a card?  Put Sorrow's Path in a rare binder.

*duck*

[emidln]

Well, I heard a story about this one time, at band camp...

Seriously though, they make decent scratch paper. I took note in a DiffEq class last week on revised Mountains with a sharpie. I forgot to label them though, so they're kinda hard to read. I should have numbered them or something.

[warble]

I stopped playing magic for a while and my friend had a red burn deck and was playing.  So, as a joke, I stole one of his mountains and ate it.  He didn't realize that I knew about magic cards and he was really nervous about what card it was since about half his cards were antiquities and legends cards.  So I ate the whole thing, chewed it up and then spit the gross thing out cuz it started stinging my friggin' tongue.  Ugh.  But yeah, I never told him which card I ate.  Hahahahahahaha.

On many occasions I have folded the card in half and then folded the edges up and used it to hold this green flaky substance with a bunch of red hairs in it.  I've also seen my friend on numerous occasions cut up a white powdery pile and then use the card to crush it up.  The powder does stick to the card, though.  Luckily I don't care, that white shit is gross.

I've had many card fights with my magic cards.  Unfortunately when we're throwing the cards we have a tendency to grab the rares and bust them alllllll up.  Most expensive card busted all up?  Probably just a wheel of fortune or a sol ring.

[Britanny]

I remember using a card as a mean of pressure, very useful

"If you don't listen to me, I'll throw your P9 by the window !"

he he :p

[Mind_under_Matter]

I licked the first Mana Drain I ever owned.



Right before I sold it.