Byron, if you just want to punish your friends for not playing with banned/restricted lists, just play this list:
4 Swamp
4 Mana Vault
4 Mana Crypt
4 Sol Ring
4 Lotus Petal
4 Chrome Mox
4 Lion's Eye Diamond
4 Dark Ritual
4 Cabal Ritual
4 Yawgmoth's Will
4 Yawgmoth's Bargain
4 Necropotence
4 Demonic Consultation
4 Demonic Tutor
4 Tendrils of Agony
You should win approximately 100% of these games. If you want to switch out Necropotence for Duress if they're playing with Force of Wills, okay then.
I goldfished 10 games with this deck and I got: 5) turn 3 kills, 3) turn 2 kills and 2) turn 1 kills! It plays exactly like the Bargain/NecroDonate decks of old. Step 1, get Bargain into play. Step 2, draw cards and win! Bargain seems a lot more consistent (though potentially weaker vs counters) than Academy.
Props go to Evenpence for the original decklist.
Keep in my that Colby was kidding when he said that. All that list is is a broken list of restricted accel that will garuntee you to win. If you think about it, that deck is more broken that most real Vintage combo decks. I am pretty sure your friends would get up and leave when you goldfish turn 1-2 and request a second game.