Izcalli Relic

[BruiZar]

Izcalli Relic
Artifact
At the beginning of your upkeep, add a poison counter. If you would lose the game, instead sacrifice Izcalli Relic and remove all poison counters. Your life total becomes equal to the amount of poison counters removed this way.

Easy to destroy, multicolor artifact in the weakest colors that protects you from losing the game. Also, I like poison counters. Its a cheap artifact because it needs a turn to come online.

Current Version
Nacatl Witchdoctor    
Creature - Cat Shaman
At the beginning of your upkeep, you get a poison counter. If you would lose the game, instead sacrifice Nacatl Witchdoctor and remove all poison counters. Your life total becomes equal to the amount of poison counters removed this way.
2/2

[ELD]

Interesting concept, but it doesn't do much anything vs infinite turns or a high storm count kill. 

[FlyFlySideOfFry]

Interesting concept, but it doesn't do much anything vs infinite turns or a high storm count kill. 

Which as we all know is commonplace in Standard.

[BruiZar]

I sort of like this card. I wanted to call it Chemo Therapy first but thought it was probably a bit nasty for a card name. The idea is that you get really sick first but survive. This card is probably really good in extended and standard. Vintage as you say has Tendrils and Time Vault.

What do you think about the colors? First I wanted to make it black due to Lich, Nefarious Lich, Necropotence, Greed and Yawgmoth's Bargain, but than I thought white has Divine Intervention, Shahrazad, angel's grace, barren glory, felidar sovereign, near-death experience (combos nicely with this card) and Test of Endurance.

The green part was because it uses poison counters and i thought making it  was too much.

[jro]

It sucks when you cast this and then your opponent just attacks you and you die.

Does this have to use poison counters?  What if they were just charge (or whatever) counters?  That hardly seems unfair.  Was there some specific interaction you really liked that make poison counters a necessity?

Also, I think it might make sense to word this as a "may" ability, since it would allow you to fruitfully have two in play (if you should so desire).

[BruiZar]

The reasoning for poison counters was that, if left untouched, you would automatically kill yourself because you would be at 10 poison counters. That would sacrifice the card and reset your life to 10. It may be a bit weird to make this an artifact. If it is going to stay an artifact it has to have charge counters, but those take away from the concept of killing yourself a little to revive yourself. Therefore, I think this has to be either an enchantment, or a creature.

If you have a poison counter from another card, and you play this card, this card is immediately online.

Nacatl Witchdoctor 
Creature - Cat Shaman
At the beginning of your upkeep, add a poison counter. If you would lose the game, instead sacrifice Nacatl Witchdoctor and remove all poison counters. Your life total becomes equal to the amount of poison counters removed this way.
1/1

This would become the same sort of card in the same sphere as Ali from Cairo or that white enchantment which name I forgot.

[jro]

The reasoning for poison counters was that, if left untouched, you would automatically kill yourself because you would be at 10 poison counters. That would sacrifice the card and reset your life to 10.

Well sure, I get that, but why would I want a card to do that?  I don't want my card that I played 10 turns ago to kill itself and put me at 10 life.  It seems like most of the time this card would just play like a bad Nourish.  In an environment full of poison counters, this card would probably be more like Leeches than a way to not lose the game.  I think the original card (as an Enchantment) would be good as a weird Leeches variant for a poison set, but its functioning is so bizarre it would have to be a rare, and I don't know if it would do enough in such a set to justify being a rare.

I love the flavor of this and the concept seems like it could get interesting, but right now it kind of reminds me of like Fallen Empires design-- very flavorful, but the card doesn't do anything. 
If something like Ali from Cairo is part of your inspiration, maybe just make this an Ali from Cairo with an upkeep of Poison counters.

Ali from the Jungle
GW
Legendary Creature -- Human Shaman
At the beginning of your upkeep, you get a poison counter.
Damage that would reduce your life total to less than 1 reduces it to 1 instead.
2/1

[BruiZar]

That sort of kills the entire interaction about the card.

[jro]

That sort of kills the entire interaction about the card.

I know, and that sucks.  I would love to see the internal tension that's present in the original in some other design, but as is I can hardly imagine anyone ever choosing to put the original design in a deck.  Like how would a person feel when they open this card?  At least something actively bad like One With Nothing is totally clear about what it's meant to do.  What exactly is this meant to do in terms of advancing anyone's goal of winning a game?  Or even of just showing off some combo?

What about if the Witchdoctor got +1/+1 for each poison counter?  Or maybe if this was in a set where there were tons of abilities that used removing poison counters as a cost?

[FlyFlySideOfFry]

That sort of kills the entire interaction about the card.

I know, and that sucks.  I would love to see the internal tension that's present in the original in some other design, but as is I can hardly imagine anyone ever choosing to put the original design in a deck.  Like how would a person feel when they open this card?  At least something actively bad like One With Nothing is totally clear about what it's meant to do.  What exactly is this meant to do in terms of advancing anyone's goal of winning a game?  Or even of just showing off some combo?

What about if the Witchdoctor got +1/+1 for each poison counter?  Or maybe if this was in a set where there were tons of abilities that used removing poison counters as a cost?

It is quite clearly a card meant to buy you a turn. If your opponent has something like 15+ power on the board and attacks into you Nourish isn't going to do anything, where as this can buy you a turn and set you at a moderate amount of life. It would also be a counter to decks winning with poison counters. (gogo casual?) The poison counter thing is (I'm assuming) meant to stop it from becoming insane in really long games. I don't know why this has to be a rare it could quite easily be an uncommon if the set had to do with poison counters. If you desperately think it is underpowered there could easily be a "When Izcalli Relic is put into a graveyard from the battlefield draw a card." slapped on reasonably. I like this card and it does what it does pretty well, even if the applications aren't necessarily competative.

[BruiZar]

24hclock

[Delha]

Minor templating correction:

Whenever Pit Scorpion deals damage to a player, that player gets a poison counter.

My suggested change below in bold.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you get a poison counter. If you would lose the game, instead sacrifice Nacatl Witchdoctor and remove all poison counters. Your life total becomes equal to the amount of poison counters removed this way.

[BruiZar]

Thanks, updated with new templating.

24 h clock

[Philatio]

I sort of like this card. I wanted to call it Chemo Therapy first but thought it was probably a bit nasty for a card name. The idea is that you get really sick first but survive. This card is probably really good in extended and standard. Vintage as you say has Tendrils and Time Vault.

What do you think about the colors? First I wanted to make it black due to Lich, Nefarious Lich, Necropotence, Greed and Yawgmoth's Bargain, but than I thought white has Divine Intervention, Shahrazad, angel's grace, barren glory, felidar sovereign, near-death experience (combos nicely with this card) and Test of Endurance.

The green part was because it uses poison counters and i thought making it  was too much.

I think that's hilarious and I'm about to go on my 7th chemo drug.  I wouldn't worry about offending anyone unless it actually sees print.