Fighting in a Racquetball Court

[GrandpaBelcher]

http://www.thehelicon.com/AA/batmanvcap.html

Who would win in fights between:
Batman and Capt. America
The Cast of Frasier and the Cast of the Facts of Life
Barney and Grimace
Travolta and Cage

Be sure to click the link next to the poll question to see the additional battles.

My choices were Batman, FoL, Grimace, and Cage.
 

[Twaun007]

Oh snap sucka! I love polls like this.

Batman and Capt. America = Batman
-Captain America helped defeat the axis powers in World War II and I am very thankful for that, but the Dark Knight is way more prepared to fight in a modern day arena than Capt America.

The Cast of Frasier and the Cast of the Facts of Life = Cast of Fraiser
-Could you imagine a headbut from Fraiser. Total melon destruction. Seriously, just look at that thing.

Barney and Grimace = Grimace
-Grimace was once Evil and stole children's milk shakes. Once you have been tainted with the Darkside there is no coming back.

Travolta and Cage = Travolta
-Vincent Vega, our man in Amsterdam.

[andrewpate]

Winner 1:  Batman.  It says right in the description that he has the utility belt, plus his fighting style is just too good.  Cap mostly relies on his peak physical abilities and seems to fight like a US soldier, very brass tacks and gritty.  Batman knows that style as well as all kinds of Eastern martial arts and whatever else you want.  I'm not saying Cap wouldn't be a challenge, but Bats is going to have a clear edge.  Also:  does Cap's suit have body armor in it?  If not, there's another advantage.

Winner 2:  Frasier.  The chicks would be unwilling to kick a dog and Eddie would ruin them all while Frasier and Niles tried frantically to shield their clothes from getting any blood on them.

Winner 3:  Grimace.  I agree with Twaun007 that his ex-villain roots are going to give him any number of potential advantages.  Also, while Grimace is nowhere near as powerful as Ronald, McDonaldland magic appears to be capable of anything from super speed to mass teleportation, while Barney's magic is limited mostly to low-level summons (art supplies, etc.).

Winner 4:  Cage.  The man is an aging drama/action star, while Travolta is an aging drama/dance star.  Anyone who has watched the last 10 minutes of Con Air or who saw Cage's The Rock character stab himself in the heart to stop the poison should have an easy time deciding this one.  Pulp Fiction aside, Travolta just doesn't have the rough-and-tumble chops to keep up (and Tarantino can make anyone look badass, even Steve Buscemi).  Also, The Weather Man archery skills may be a factor.

[nataz]

the lion always wins.

[Godder]

the lion always wins.

Heh... I think a well-prepared human would destroy a lion, so Batman would be enjoying Lion Steak, for example.

[BC]

Batman and Capt. America

Batman is obviously badass (and a fan favorite), but frankly he would get his ass handed to him by Captain America if they were fighting in a racquetball court.  Captain America has superhuman strength and agility that are a consequence of his dosing with super soldier serum.  Batman has peak human abilities, but his greatest assets are his brilliant detective skills and his ability to optimally utilize his environment, both of which are ignorable in a racquetball court.  Captain America pounds him to a bloody pulp.

The Cast of Frasier and the Cast of the Facts of Life

I have to go with the cast of Frasier, simply because the cast of The Facts of Life is mostly women.  And although the characters on Frasier are rather wussy, I don't think the actors necessarily are.  Kelsey Grammer did play Beast, after all.

Barney and Grimace

This one is tough.  I have to go with Barney.  There is just something about him that makes you know that deep down inside he is evil and wants to kill you.  Grimace is just a big amorphous softy.  Plus, Barney has teeth and Grimace does not.

Travolta and Cage

Cage.  No explanation needed.

[Madpeep]

Batman and Capt. America - Capt. America isn't as much of a pansy as everyone else seems to think he is.  Thanks to the Super-Soldier serum, even at 60+ years of age, Cap's still jacked.  He has super-human strength, agility, stamina, etc.  As much training as Batman has, he's still a normal human with above average stats.  Bat's real strength is his mind.  So, as with any other Batman vs other character argument.  I'll have to go with the age-old, "Without prep time, Capt. America wins, but given enough time, Batman can take anyone".

The Cast of Frasier and the Cast of the Facts of Life - This is the hardest one to choose a winner from, but I'd have to go with the cast from the Facts of Life.  Let's be realistic here, they have the weight advantage, racial advantage, and they're alot younger.  While Daddy-Frasier is wielding his cane walking after the 15yr old skinny chick, chubs is going to whip out a knife and stab him from behind.  Once he's out of the picture, the cast of Frasier are done for.

Barney and Grimace - Barney, no contest.  Anyone that can put up with fifty 2yr old's for the amount of time he has is just waiting to go psycho and waste someone.  If Grimace crosses him, he's fragged.

Travolta and Cage - seriously? these guys are over 10yrs apart.  In Kentucky they could be father and son.  It's not even a fair contest.  Cage by a mile.  He's certainly not an actor because of his looks.

[Harlequin]

This one is tough.  I have to go with Barney.  There is just something about him that makes you know that deep down inside he is evil and wants to kill you.  Grimace is just a big amorphous softy.  Plus, Barney has teeth and Grimace does not.

Barney and Grimace - Barney, no contest.  Anyone that can put up with fifty 2yr old's for the amount of time he has is just waiting to go psycho and waste someone.  If Grimace crosses him, he's fragged.

I Don't think this one is so cut and dry.  Barney has to get points for being at least -realated- to a dinosaur.  But Grimace has the "I feel no pain" look to him.  I mean, his expression never changes... where Barney implys that he has some sort of feelings in his songs.  I think Barney would start going crazy - chomping Grimace's arms, tail whipping him, kicking him in the shings.  But I'm sure that every time he gets punched in the face, that face will still have that un-human, un-flintching, un-yielding smile.  Eventually, Barney will start to lose both his stamina and his composure and Grimice will slowly and delibratly tear the stuffing out of Barney with his battered and broken hands.

[Madpeep]

I Don't think this one is so cut and dry.  Barney has to get points for being at least -realated- to a dinosaur.  But Grimace has the "I feel no pain" look to him.  I mean, his expression never changes... where Barney implys that he has some sort of feelings in his songs.  I think Barney would start going crazy - chomping Grimace's arms, tail whipping him, kicking him in the shings.  But I'm sure that every time he gets punched in the face, that face will still have that un-human, un-flintching, un-yielding smile.  Eventually, Barney will start to lose both his stamina and his composure and Grimice will slowly and delibratly tear the stuffing out of Barney with his battered and broken hands.

Just because Grimace has an expressionless face, doesn't mean he can't feel pain or that he's invincible.  As for "feelings in Barney's songs", it's all just an act.  Surely you recognized the fact that Barney's a carnivore?  Those kids are all bite-sized.  He's just using music to lure them in via the Siren technique.  Each of those kids are only on TV once or twice a season.  It's not a coincidence.  They get eaten.  Grimace can talk smack about being from the hood and stealing shakes from a clown, but Barney's a stone-cold killer without morals.

[Meddling Mike]

Cap v. Batman

This would be a blowout. Cap has superpowers SUPERPOWERS. Batman, at the end of the day, is still just a man.

Frasier v. Facts of Life

Frasier. The swing here is actually Frasier's dad Martin. Bad hip and all, he's still an ex cop with a gun. GG.

Barney v. Grimace

This one's pretty tough, but I'm gonna have to go with Grimace. I don't think Barney actually has the heart to fight back, we know Grimace is not above playing a little dirty. It is a bit concerning that Grimace was so easily tricked by Ronald McDonald's flimsy mailman disguise.

Cage v. Travolta

This is another tough one, but I'm going with Travolta just because plays a weird neurotic person (see adaptation,matchstick men) much better than he does playing badasses (Gone in 60 seconds,Ghost Rider)

[wiley]

Batman has peak human abilities, but his greatest assets are his brilliant detective skills, his ability to optimally utilize his environment, and an unlimited supply of money to throw at all of his problems all of which are ignorable in a racquetball court.

Fixed

Oh and
The Cap'n
Fraiser
Grimace (If you recall, barney had her but curb stomped in a parking lot once ... the same will happen here)
Cage (mostly because travolta just did hairspray remake.  He's still got the womanly figure right now)

[andrewpate]

Just so we are clear, Captain America does not have superhuman abilities.  What he has are physical attributes at the peak of human potential.  Basically, his agility is as good as that of the most agile normal human to ever live, but no better.  Language extremely similar to this is used to describe Batman's natural gifts in a number of titles I have read.  I don't think it can be said definitively that the difference in their strength and speed would be sufficient to make this as one-sided as many of you seem to think.  Cap is not a superhuman; he's just the most exceptional human possible.

[Klep]

I'm with madpeep on Cap vs. Batman.  If the two were to just randomly run into each other and start fighting, Cap's extensive combat experience (not just metahuman battles, but also normal war) and unparalleled tactical acumen would give him the edge.  If Batman were able to scout out the terrain and take time to plan however, he would probably be able to pull it out.

@andrewpate: Cap's outfit is a kind of chainmail, so it does provide some protection.  He also has his shield.