I figued they did that to give the feel of an everquest, etc.....
Actually they more likely did it to make you feel more like you had your character and only your character, and that was who you were playing.
Dungeon Siege might have what you're looking for. Although the first one was rather dull, I understand the second was a marked improvement.
Dungeon Siege is no where close to Baldur's Gate or Icewind Dale. It's much closer to Diablo. Way too hack and slashy for my taste. I played the second Dungeon Siege and stopped after 6 hours playing. Sooo boring.
Have you tried any modules for Neverwinter Nights? The original campaign sucked, and so did most parts of the expansions. But there are some brilliant player modules you can try. Still, it's only you as a character. You still don't have Minsc.