Great New Combo Deck

[TopSecret]

And gamble is a sorcery and connot go on isochron which therefore merits its non-inclusion into the deck. Besides Who needs tutors or draw in a deck that locks the opponet down on turn 3? Or for that matter can just outright win on turn 3? Silly rabbit Tutors are for kids.

     Please excuse my mistake. Overlooking the sorcery speed of Gamble has invalidated the majority of my playtesting.
You are right, without it's ability to imprint on a Scepter, Gamble is subpar in the deck.

     Thank you for correcting me.

     Well, back to square one.

[Fall-Titan]

Please excuse my mistake. Overlooking the sorcery speed of Gamble has invalidated the majority of my playtesting.
You are right, without it's ability to imprint on a Scepter, Gamble is subpar in the deck.

 Thank you for correcting me.

 Well, back to square one.

Lmao, how often do u hear a vintage player offer a thank you in response to a correction. This thread is groundbreaking. See type 1 community, there is a such thing as cooperation without argument.

P.S. This deck is gonna sweep tourneys around the country beware... I would say play hate againts it but there is nothing that can stop this now. Apocalypse Chime solved all our woes.

[pyr0ma5ta]

WTCNGSTRA

Artifacts
35- Black Lotus
 
Sorceries
33- Wheel of Fortune

Yep i own that shizza. Havent lost a match in over 49,040,473,937,224 games of playtesting. What now fools.

-2 Wheel
+2 Underworld Dreams

This is just about the funniest deck I've ever seen.

[Disburden]

One more thing.

I have seen mentioning of the weirdest decks in this thread. poison counters, Stasis with Mudhole?
Did I fall into a portal that lead to a parallel universe or something? Since when do people play Wall, Stasis and Poison decks?

I sigh for you... and then fart in your general direction.

I was being honest in this post and not trying to be wise or sarcastic. The whole idea of people playing Stasis excites me. I feel like I have been missing out on something here. wtf?

[Chimney Imp]

OMFG Guys. Apparently some guy here in Oklahoma decided to try out his NEW UBBER DECK. It uses all 5dawn and Saviors cards. IT runs that scary Adamaro your moms warned you about. He Comes out turn  to turn 3 always. They have that Scary PeNtad Prism.  I had to play through his 3/3. Luckily this deck is so good it even works when i make a playmistake. (Like using North Star) The only plan for beating this deck consistently is. Adding 3 One With Nothing. It will own them its like (B) and can go on scepter number 2 and it kills adamaro dead.

[Fall-Titan]

Ummm

OMFG Guys. Apparently some guy here in Oklahoma decided to try out his NEW UBBER DECK. It uses all 5dawn and Saviors cards. IT runs that scary Adamaro your moms warned you about. He Comes out turn  to turn 3 always. They have that Scary PeNtad Prism.  I had to play through his 3/3. Luckily this deck is so good it even works when i make a playmistake. (Like using North Star) The only plan for beating this deck consistently is. Adding 3 One With Nothing. It will own them its like (B) and can go on scepter number 2 and it kills adamaro dead.

Wtf is this? Is this some kind of Joke post? Were sitting here trying to come up with a legitimate and GOOD new combo deck here and you come spamming the thread with a hint for one with nothing? You fool, go play in traffic.

[Fall-Titan]

Ok, everyone well, thanks to all of the positive feedback and a little tweaking of my own, I finally got his deck in tournament form. And you know what I did then? Well first I ate lunch and McDonalds which ended up giving me gas and a little bit of the old mud butt so I had to run to Walgreen’s and buy some Off- Brand Pepto-Bismol. And OH MY GOD! I mean that crap really does taste like pink and I didn’t even know that was possible. Anyway, after I cured my aching bowel movement I took this bad boy to a tourney. Not just any tourney though.... This was a vintage tournament. Not just any Vintage tournament though.... This was a proxy Vintage tournament, not just any vintage proxy tournament though.... this was a 10 and a 1/2 proxy vintage tournament... not just any, oh wtf it was a 10 and a 1/2 vintage proxy tournament and there were like 40 people and 1 seeing-eye dog attending. My results were amazing, here’s a deck list with card choice explanation

CNGSTRA
15 Lands:
4 SORROW'S PATH - (The grand daddy of all lands depicting a crazy Arabian fighting in front of a bridge)
3 Undiscovered Paradise (Rainbowtastic, and combos with shifting borders nicely)
3 Reflecting Pool (I’m high maintenance, anyone have a comb?)
2 City of Traitors (The name says it all.... think about it)
1 Teferis Isle (Helps me smooth out the blue mana and it owns the mirror match)
1 Sheltered Valley (Drop this sucker on turn one and you have 21 life- Which means your Wall of Blood- Fling- Fortified Area combo just got a little easier)
1 Ghost Town (I nicknamed this card- "Balance? Oh no you didit!")

7 Blue:
4 Pale Moon (Locks the opponent out of the game with a scepter and gives you time to order a pizza)
2 Erosion (This card... wow this card... that’s all I have to say)
1 Shifting Borders (The combo is- this on your Undiscovered paradise and their swamp so you can sink into takenuma... Ingenious I friggin know)

10 Black:
1 Sink into Takenuma (Steal their swamp then return it to their hand... practically a black time walk)
1 Tombfire (It reads- I hate zombie like sorceries and instants)
4 Wall of Blood (In Russian the name means- Wall of The Deep Owie)
4 Sleeper Agent (Lets just say he doesn’t "Sleep" on the job HAHAHA Lmao, I made a funny)

9 Red:
3 Glyph of Destruction (Combat tricks are good, And Glyph is a funny word)
1 Shaman's Trance (Owns Yawgmoths Will and other cards... No, just Yawgmoths Will)
1 Mudhole (Kobolds are running Crucible... Ha I poop on you)
4 Fling (Suicide in the name of progress)

9 White:
1 Fortified Area (It’s like spinach to Pop-Eye, only its not and it’s for Wall of Blood)
4 Animate Wall (Hey China, Yours may be longer but mine can walk)
4 Celestial Dawn (It fixes mana an destroys Questing Pheldagriff, That scumbag)

4 Gold
4 Soul Link (Wall of blood and Sleeper Agents 2nd favorite friend, I’m their first... I'm lonely)

6 Artifacts:
4 ISOCHRON SCEPTER (Throw a Pale moon on here for complete prison like lockdown, or a glyph for the ability to say the word glyph a lot more than 3 times (Its friggen hilarious))
2 North Star (The engine of the deck, The seizures aren’t that bad... Really)

15 Sideboard:
1 Rhystic Cave (In case they run wasteland (like who would)... this baby owns)
1 Aysen Highway (Gifts, you and your plains bearing ways are done, Bitch)
2 Primal Frenzy (Lures the big guys into attacking, and makes a darksteel colossus look cooler, Trample Trample anyone?)
3 Leeches (The poison deck is pretty crazy good, this says "If you touch me Ill slap a lawsuit on your venomous ass" to that deck
4 Apocalypse Chime (Destroys 70% of the current card pool being used)
4 The Helm of Awakenings (You don’t know about these so no explanation here)

Ok so there were 40 people and 1 seeing eye dog, and I guess 1 funky deck with Braille on it or something. I only had a ripped up Rhystic Cave so that 1/2 proxy saved my butt big time. Like I said I had some gas so I wanted to get started playing and get my mind off the trauma happening in my undies.

Round 1-
CNGSTRA vs. Oath
This match up should be a blasty blasty. I mean, who plays oath...newb.
Game 1 I go first and keep a hand sick hand, (City of Traitors, Isochron scepter, Pale Moon, Sleep Agent, Undiscovered Paradise, Wall of blood)
 I dropped the UP and preceded with Sleeper Agent, My opponent thought it so grand a play that he could not hold back his laughter. He tried covering it up saying that was the most stupid turn 1 ever, but I know what he meant by stupid… He meant sick, broken, fo shizzle his rizzle. That’s what he meant. What he didn’t realize is that sleeper agent keeps him from oathing, the fool. So he goes and swings. Drops orchard, mox, oath, Yea yea blah blah… I’m shaking. I draw Fling. Play the undiscovered paradise and pass the turn. He thinks he’s hot dung when he decides to make a token during his upkeep but he ends up taking a mana burn, lmao what a newb. He swings with Akroma, angel of “I cost too damn much don’t play meâ€? and sleeper agent. I block his agent and he’s down to 15… I’m sitting comfortably at 11, Plenty of time. My turn a drop city of traitors, wall of blood. After drawing a tombfire. He swings, bringing me to 3 (I pay 2 life and blocked). I tap a city on my turn, play undiscovered paradise and pay 2 life. I fling wall of blood at the guy and he has the nerve to misdirection it back at me. He got lucky that game bring on the second.
GAME 2
I have to mulligan to 4 and still have no lands in hand. I’m really pissed because I run more than enough lands, I mean 15 wtf? Well I have a suspicion he stacked my deck when he cut because I normally am smiled on by the Magic Gods. Well he beats me down with Razia and wins the match…

Ok so that bastard rigged my deck, I decide to go tell the head judge about this scumbag. So I tell the judge to keep his eye on the guy and the judge asks me how many mana sources I am running. I reply “Totally enough, I have like 15 and You know the way it goes, 15 is high.� He retorts “You retard,� kicks me in the shin a runs off, I think he was paid off.

0-1

So round 2 is coming up and I mean I only lost round 1 because of cheating and a paid off judge, things are looking bright.

Round 2
CNGSTRA vs. TPS
GAME 1
He goes first and gets off to a rough start, mulling to 5 and I have a good hand. Sheltered valley, Ghost Town, City of Traitors, shifting borders, shaman’s trance, celestial dawn, and Fling. He drops a turn 1 city of brass and passes the turn. I go sheltered valley and the guy moans, knowing this is gonna be a tough match. He EOTs, a brainstorm and apparently doesn’t find much. My turn a drop ghost town and know that next turn it’s on. He finds a mox emerald and plays it, then demonic tutors. I drop city of traitors and play shifting borders on his city and my traitors… ha. He draws mox sapphire and plays it and then ancestral recall then passes. I play undiscovered paradise and a sleeper agent. He goes swamp, ritual , lotus, mox jet, rebuilds, plays lotus and 3 moxes again, then plays yawgmoths will with only needing 1 more spell to win with 3 black floating and a city open for mana I decide not to let him have it and play Trance. I stand up and yell “WHAT NOW? WHAT NOW? I JUST OWNED TPS.. ALL YOU PUNKS, WHAT NOW?� He says “You douche bag you didn’t beat me… I needed 1 more spell and your trance did it for me, tendrils for 24 jackass.�

So that didn’t work out as well as I wanted it and I decided I could'nt show my face around there anymore so I conceded the match and quickly ran home to grab a bandana. I arrive back with my masterful disguise and no one even recognizes me. Next round, the owner announces Conley Vs Bill, I hold my hand up and call and wait for Bill to come. Man if he knew I was the jackass who just gloated over a loss he would be laughing right now. He shows up, laughing, though for what reason I’m not sure. We begin

0-2

ROUND 3
CNGSTRA Vs Unknown Deck

GAME 1
I go first  and we both keep our hands. I go turn 1 undiscovered paradise .He goes turn 1 mox, mox, lotus, forest and 2 spectral bears… I’m like ugh… aggro. He passes and I play city of traitors and wall of blood. He goes forest, primal order. Then swings… I block 1 and pay 3 life to kill it. I take 6 total then 1 more during my upkeep. I Draw The only card that can save me… SORROWS PATH! I tap city, play isochron scepter with pale moon on it and then play path. He draws and plays Joven’s ferrets. I block his other bear and take some damage from the order. I end up losing because of primal order and his beat down. I am about to concede the round when I notice the expansion symbol on his cards…. HOMELANDS! I say lets move on to game 2 and he agrees.

GAME 2- I board in 4 apocalypse chimes and start to count my winnings.
He plays first and again we both keep our hands… I look down at city of traitors, 2 apocalypse chimes, sorrows path, glyph, soul link, and teferis Isle. He goes turn 1 mox, mox, forest, null rod. Im like hmm what’s that and go to read the card. I look back at my apocalypse chimes in my hand.

I scream and begin to rip those bastards apart. I grab my opponent by the neck and begin to choke him. Next thing I know like I’m in the air and there are 10 guys underneath me, the proceed throw me outside and then begin kicking me in very vulnerable places. I hear a car engine turn on and the last thing I remember is 2 headlights coming dangerously close to my head. I awake the next day in the hospital and find out that while nothing is broken on me, X-rays show 4 playing card shaped objects in my colon. I inspect the X-Ray and am able to read the words Sorrows Path. I cry, and am still crying today as I write this.

Overall the deck is sick, it’s awesome, and if it weren’t for me being cheated round 1 and then graciously conceding rounds 2 and 3, I think I could have taken home the Beta Ancestral Recall that was 1st place. So to all of you hopefuls out there, I encourage you try the deck. Its fun and wow, it just wins, Just be sure to have some type of health insurance before playing… just as a preliminary precaution, you know because of the possible seizures and all.

Peace out- Conley

(DISCLAIMER FOR ALL THOSE RETARDS WHO DONT KNOW WHAT A JOKE IS)
This tournament report is false and in no way is it based off actual events or occurences. I made all that junk up in a bored rage at work. Please do not review the FALSE data i have given and attempt to apply it in any way to an actual deck. If i had gotten my ass kicked and run over do you honestly think i would be reporting that? Had this been an actual report you would have been notified of just that. Thank you.

[crazynlazy]

4 Apocalypse Chime (Destroys 70% of the current card pool being used)

At least, I would say that if a deck isn't homelands based it is tier 2

[Fall-Titan]

@CrazynLazy

You suck at life.. wtf. Even if your not being serious, its too hard to tell if your being sarcastic or funny so therefore, i say to you- you have smoked yourself serious... i didnt even know that was possible.... tootles

[crazynlazy]

Yeah I wasn't sure, I just sat here confused, hoping that it was a joke I editted out all flames. Anyway, why would you make a huge response like that? No one should want to read a tournament report that has false data. If anything can get players to play this deck without winning, it's thinking that it can't beat crappy decks like oath.

So when should we start seing sick tournament results?

[Fall-Titan]

Psst... im gonna tell you a secret since you dont seem to be catching on... this whole thread is for fun. This deck isnt actually viable in any format and just about every card in the thing sucks... and thats the point. The wont be any tournament reports involving this thing because no one but a complete moron would play it in a serious tournament.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE????

Is it that hard to tell, i mean honestly? Buttons.. you have created a monster.

[49 Cents]

I'm actually thing about bringing the deck to a non-sanctioned tourney just to say how low I'll finish..

[crazynlazy]

Psst... im gonna tell you a secret since you dont seem to be catching on... this whole thread is for fun. This deck isnt actually viable in any format and just about every card in the thing sucks... and thats the point. The wont be any tournament reports involving this thing because no one but a complete moron would play it in a serious tournament.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE????

Is it that hard to tell, i mean honestly? Buttons.. you have created a monster.

I'm guessing you didn't see my second reply uneditted. I caught on and laughed my ass off reading the first page. I'm not that stupid.

[Fall-Titan]

My mistake... why did you edit your post in the first place?

[crazynlazy]

why did you edit your post in the first place?

I because I thought that if I supported the deck more, people who believed the deck was viable would still post hilarious things.

[Disburden]

I looked into this thread quite a few times, wondering how this was supposed to be serious. Then my mind starting playing tricks on me, I would ask myself, "Why would the Moderators of TMD keep this forum open if it wasn't serious? " Then I looked at the decklist and how much the mana sucked ass that it baffled me what people were talking about.

The posts on Stasis decks got me too, I love Stasis and I wish it was viable. I'm sad now 

[Fall-Titan]

The Moderators left this open because they have a sense of humor q=^)

[zeus-online]

This might be a bit of a necro...but does anyone know if this deck is still good?

-Zeus

[Prospero]

Bit of a necro?  Please start a new thread if you'd like to discuss anything from 2005, even if it's humorous - Prospero.