10 Beasts

[Alfred]

A secret team of assassins kidnaps you, and forces you to design a competative t1 deck that has 10 beasts in it. They tell you that unless you legitamately come first in the next tournament with this beast deck they will kill you and all of your family.

Your challenge: DESIGN THE ULTIMATE 10 BEAST DECK!

[Matt]

Well, there's 174 beasts. One artifact, zero land, 9 gold, one white (go Lexivore!), miscellaneous others.

Gotta cut that down.

I could do Affinity with 4 Quomulox and 4 Quicksilver Behemoth and 2 Broodstar, but that would be lame, and too easy. Those terrorists went through a lot of trouble to set up this plan, I would hate to weasel out of it like that and rain on their parade. So let's challenge ourselves.

We could try 4x Phantom Nishoba, 2x Sabertooth Nishoba, and 4x Aquameba in a reanimator or even Dragon deck. But again, I get the impression from this gun in my face that I am supposed to be hardcasting all my beasts, and the click of a a bullet sliding into its chamber tells me to move on.

One of the better beasts is Anurid Brushhopper. So we'll go W/G. Aquameba is also a beast. So that's eight right there, and we have a madness deck going.

We could try Anurid Barkripper, since we'll be filling the graveyard fast. But that's a terrible card. Anurid Scavenger has protection from Tog - that's good. But it's not particular synergistic or powerful. That's bad.

Blastoderm is another strong beast. We'll keep him in mind.

Gurzigost has some vague synergy with the madness cards, but that GG activation is lousy. Fuck you, Gurzigost, and your little brother too.

Hunted Wumpus is a fun card, and likewise Tempting Wurm. Yet Tempting Wurm is not a beast, and neither of these cards will win the tournament for me. And as I do care about at least one member of my family, I must discard these fine fellows.

Now Hystrodon, I like. We'll throw one in and maybe cut it if nothing better comes along.

Krosan Warchief could work. Put him in the "maybe" pile.

Kurgadon: Well, I'd like to play this with Myr Enforcer. *smack* Moving on...

Molder Slug: Ahah, something to annoy type one decks with! But Woodripper wood be better.

Skyshroud Cutter could work. Let's bookmark that one.

Speaking of Skyshroud, the War Beasts that live there are quite large among the Underground Seas and Tundras and so forth.

Spiritmonger: hello.

And there is also Ravenous Baloth, who always shows up late to the party.

Now, what have we got?

//NAME: Untitled Deck
        1 Hystrodon
        1 Woodripper
        1 Spiritmonger
        1 Skyshroud War Beast
        1 Skyshroud Cutter
        1 Ravenous Baloth
        1 Krosan Warchief
        4 Anurid Brushhopper
        4 Aquamoeba

Sticking with the w/g/u crowd, we can eliminate the Monger. War Beast will be regrettably small in the deck I have planned, so he goes. I plan to top my curve at three; this makes further cuts easy.

//NAME: Untitled Deck
        1 Skyshroud Cutter
        4 Anurid Brushhopper
        4 Aquamoeba

And to finish it off, since I've run fresh out of clever things to say:

// Balances!
        1 Mystical Tutor
        1 Balance

// Beasts!
        3 Skyshroud Cutter
        4 Anurid Brushhopper
        4 Aquamoeba

// Miscellaneous Other Cards!
        4 Circular Logic
        4 Basking Rootwalla
        3 Glory
        3 Wonder

// Crap on a stick!
        1 Ancestral Recall
        1 Time Walk
        4 Brainstorm
        4 Force of Will

// Mana
        3 Tropical Island
        3 Savannah
        3 Tundra
        4 Windswept Heath
        2 Flooded Strand
        1 Black Lotus
        1 Sol Ring
        1 Mox Sapphire
        1 Mox Pearl
        1 Mox Emerald
        2 Wasteland
        1 Strip Mine

[Alfred]

NICE!

One person may be able to escape doom, and prevent their families from being killed. CAN ANYONE ELSE???????????

(Different deck please)

[Jacob Orlove]

When it comes to BEASTS, there can be only one, and that one is the BERSERK MURLODONT.

Consider the value you get -- a 3/3 body for a mere 5 mana. People say that if you spend 5 mana in Type 1 you had better JUST WIN. Well I say to those people, have you ever seen someone WINDMILL SLAM A MURDOLONT ONTO THEIR OPPONENT'S NUTSACK AND NOT SUBSEQUENTLY DECLARE IMMEDIATE VICTORY?

...

In conclusion, I will say this.  Michael Jordan was complimented for making his teammates better -- for raising the level at which they play.  In this manner, the MURDOLONT is much like MJ, as the MURDOLONT can be windmill-slammed down onto the table and instantly improve an entire board of beasts.

Clearly, our deck must begin with the following:

4x BERSERK MURLODONT

One MURLODONT will cause your opponent to tremble with ph34r. Consider, then, the impact of not one, but TWO MURLODONTS as they SERVE FOR THE WIN.

Yes, the MURLODONT not only turns all your beasts into MASSIVE BEATSTICKS, but even alone he SERVES FOR THE WIN. Clearly, our next choice must be:

2x DUAL NATURE

Much like the almightly MURLODONT, this card turns every beasts you play into TWICE THE BEATING. Furthermore, it DOUBLES YOUR MURLODONTS. Your opponent will quickly beg for mercy under the assault of TWO MURLODONTS.

The MURLODONT is a mighty beast indeed, but we need 6 more beasts for this deck to be complete. We must turn next to the ULTIMATE BEAST:

2x MISTFORM ULTIMUS

Yes, the mighty legions set comes through again. Like the MURLODONT, this beast is a BERSERKER. This beast is so frightening, so all-powerful, that it is a LEGEND among beasts (so we run only 2).

You may be wondering what beast could possibly be as strong as these 3/3 MONSTROSITIES. I will tell you. It is first among beasts, although it lacks the power of the ULTIMUS and the strength of the MURLODONT.

4x FANGREN FIRSTBORN

The key to this beast is that the MURLODONT will always SERVE FOR THE WIN. With the mighty FIRSTBORN, your opponent will face, not a 3/3 MURLODONT, but one that grows EVER LARGER.

Now, that is our limit of 10 beasts. But we can do better. We need more beasts. Many more beasts:

4x PULSE OF THE TANGLE

Now, these cards are all mighty indeed. Our opponents will cower in fear of our BERSERK BEATSTICKS.

These cards compliment the mighty beasts:

1x Time Walk
1x Ancestral Recall
4x Brainstorm
4x Force of Will
2x Sylvan Library
1x Fact or Fiction
2x Cunning Wish
4x Birds of Paradise

1 Mox Emerald
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mana Crypt
1 Sol Ring
1 Mox Pearl
1 Mox Jet
1 Mox Ruby
1 Black Lotus
4 Tropical Island
4 Wooded Foothills
5 Forest
2 Island


And thus our final list is

4x BERSERK MURLODONT
2x DUAL NATURE
2x MISTFORM ULTIMUS
4x FANGREN FIRSTBORN
4x PULSE OF THE TANGLE
1x Time Walk
1x Ancestral Recall
4x Brainstorm
4x Force of Will
2x Sylvan Library
1x Fact or Fiction
2x Cunning Wish
4x Birds of Paradise
1 Mox Emerald
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mana Crypt
1 Sol Ring
1 Mox Pearl
1 Mox Jet
1 Mox Ruby
1 Black Lotus
4 Tropical Island
4 Wooded Foothills
5 Forest
2 Island

SB:
1x BERSERK

(Apologies to Gongmeister)

[Alfred]

WERD!

That list is BERZERK! But will it be enough to save your family from LIQUIDATION?

[bebe]

A deck without islands is no deck at all ...   WE GO BLUE

Glowing Anemone
3U, Creature Beast 1/3
Mercadian Masques Uncommon
When Glowing Anemone comes into play,
you may return target land to its
owner's hand.

4 Gulf Squid
3U, Creature Beast 2/2
Prophecy Common
When Gulf Squid comes into play, tap all
lands target player controls.


2 Fylamarid
1UU, Summon Beast 1/3, Tempest Uncommon
Flying
Fylamarid can't be blocked by blue creatures.
U: Target creature becomes blue until end of
turn.

And so we have ...

The Island of Dr. Moreau

His permutations
4 Glowing Anemone
4 Gulf Squid
2 Fylamarid

His fierce protectors
4 Force of Will
4 Mana Drain
4 Winter Orb
4 Ankh of Mishra
4 Storm Cauldron

His Unpredictability
4 Unstable Mutation

Hide and Seek
4 Impulse  
1 Ancestral Recall
1 Time Walk

Feeding time
7 SoloMoxen
14 Islands

[Dream_Merchant]

It was a long time ago in a plane far far away....

A lonely wizard sat in his room on top of a tower at the Academy of Tolaria. He smoked his waterpipe and made circles of smoke while gazing from the window at the crimson sun setting under the horizon of the sapphire sea. A tranquil, orderly day had just passed and he was satisfied with the progress which he had achieved. He hardly knew its price.

But then... not one, not two, not three but ten black cloaked assassins stormed through the door of his private enclave and barring their poison covered daggers and sharp-pointed rapiers took our no longer so satisfied wizard by total surprise.

Before he could collect his thoughts and master the appropriate spell to send them to some unhealthy paradimension of pink elephants and green horses, the leader of the assassins stepped forward and raised his hands in our bamboozled wizard's direction and started chanting some form of enchantment.

A geas.

To defeat the most vicious and deadly planeswalkers in Mortal Kombat with the help of beasts. Our wizard detested beasts, they tended to be oozing and stinking with green mana, had big teeth and usually roared, snarled or went berserk over nothing more then pack rights.

A bad wizard would have leaped off the edge of the window to save himself the torture but as you may have already guessed our story does not end so tragicaly and thus our wizard used his high intelligence to come up with a solution.

There are beasts..and there are beasts. He would use the most cunning, the most mischevious, the most lethal of their ilk.

But first another task was at hand... becoming a planeswalker. Our wizard thus set forward and took out the dusty tomes which he had long forsaken since his youth, as well as the manuals of power arcana that he had not dared yet touch and began a vigorous learning.

He knew that he needed to Mana Drain his opponents as many times as he could to gain temporal advantage. And to stand against the mightiest of planeswalkers he would need as strong a Force of Will as he could muster. He thus Accumulated Knowledge until he was satisfied that he was a master at discerning the difference from Fact or Fiction. He knew that not everything comes with study and thus left two scrolls empty to be filled by his Intuition.

Feeling ready to begin his voyage to the unknown challanges that awaited him, our wizard packed all his Moxen and Sol Ring and set out to complete his arsenal of might and magic.

Some wizards claim that a wizard is nothing more then his spells. A true wizard knows that he needs proper arms, for when time comes that spells wont do, steel will be needed. Thus he set out to visit the dwarves of the Bogardan mountain ranges. Forged in their adamantium furnaces, the dwarves provided him with three of their enchanted Hammers.

At the shores of Tolaria live the strangest of creatures. The so called Chromeshell Crab, that actually is not a crab but a beast, is a very treacherous creature. It's shell is often used by wizards yearning to be liches to cast the dangerous Magic Jar spell. Our wizard after much struggle and warding himself correctly managed to capture a pair during their mating when they were most fierce.

A not so dangerous but far more elusive creature is the Sand Squid. Many fishermen have mistaken it for a squid, while actually being a beast, meeting their untimely deaths trapped in the shallow waters of the sandy beaches of Tolaria. Our expert wizard though built a magic web around two of them and trapped them to be bound to his services.

Yet these were the easiest of the beasts that our wizard planned to use in his quest. For the next he knew that he would need very powerful spells to transcend over the strands of time. Summoning forth all his energy he concentrated blue mana upon himself and warping the very fabric of space and time he casted Time Walk. The very essence of the plane was left broken to his spell. There between the worlds of reality and time he found what he was looking for. The Mischevious Quanars and the Weavers of Lies. Four Quanars and all but two Weavers were bound to the will of the newborn planeswalker.

Rolling like thunder over the clouds he travelled with wings of magic and spirit of lightning mixing red and blue mana together. His search was all but over, yet there was something else needed to be done. During his far more reckless youth he had met a powerful Gorilla Shaman who had taught him much in the art of artifacts and their destruction. He knew that if he wanted to stand a chance against the powerful artificers who were destined to cross his path he would need the wisdom of the ape. Thus he descended down to the hut of the shaman and greeted him in the normal way among apes, displaying his naked buttocks.

To his delight he found out that the shaman had found a wife and she was an expert cook. He was an expert diplomat not to ask what was the content of the food as long as it was of pleasant taste and aroma. They talked about his quest over dinner. The shaman had an Ancestral Recall regarding the enchantment placed on our wizard but could not remember a counterspell against it, going on about it not being in the latest edition of his basic set.

Both the shaman and his wife agreed to accompany our fledgling planeswalker, and besides controlling all those beasts plus the two Ophidians that the shaman had given him, was becoming quite a handful of a task just for our hero.

They travelled far and they travelled wide, passing three eclipses of the Moon colored in Blood red and thus they came to a strange land scorched by the battle of wizards of old. A land called Shiv, dotted with Volcanic Islands which were surrounded by Reefs. There between 6 islands stood a mountain and on its top was to be fought the contest of sorcery.

Our wizard clutched the Black Lotus that was given to him by his long gone mentor all those years ago and prepaired himself to meet his destiny!

EDIT: " Controlling time ensures you need never look impulsive again." -Teferi. A lesson our wizard had to learn well. Thankfully there is the edit button for later editing for all those absent minded wizards who tend to have too many Impulses late at nights.

[Jacob Orlove]

4 Mana Drain
4 Force of Will
4 Accumulated Knowledge
1 Fact or Fiction
2 Intuition
1 Time Walk
1 Ancestral Recall

3 Hammer of Bogardan
3 Blood Moon

2 Chromeshell Crab
2 Sand Squid
4 Mischievous Quanar
2 Weaver of Lies

2 Ophidian
2 Gorilla Shaman

7 Solomox
4 Volcanic Island
4 Shivan Reefs
6 Island
1 Mountain

I count 55 cards.

[Dream_Merchant]

heh. hm right lol yes well .. hahahahaha

"Controlling time ensures you need never look impulsive again." -Teferi
4 of those i forgot.

and you missed a tolarian academy