Burnination to the extreme! Tournament Report.

[BigDofCF]

If this is in the wrong place, can a mod move it (hopefully without a problem, since I'm teammates with a few mods).


   Well I was requested to do a report since I crushed people all day with a mono-red deck.  Our journey begins Friday, where I spend all day at work wondering if I’m still going as I had no way of getting ahold of kl0wn.  Mix that with the desire to go down to this fun bar I’ve been going to a lot lately.  Well I get out of work, come home and pack in like 3 minutes.  Unfortunately I had to rush to get kl0wn and get to the bank, so there was no time for a shower.  This would be a problem two days later.  I spend a good 45 minutes looking for kl0wn’s bloody road.  After I realize that I’ve been going up and down the wrong road and finally find his crib, I must wait for his last minute packing.
   Sorry Bryce, but I must comment on this.  Every single tournament that we have to drive to, Bryce is never ready on time.  EVER.  This usually leads to one of the gang flipping out.   To top it off this time he tells me we have to go to Kinko’s to get some flyers printed.  So we go to the bank where I talk to my mom (insert random mother comment here).  Then we proceed to Kinko’s.  kl0wn waits in line and asks the man for some copies made.  The random douchebag tells him that he will need to get a Kinko’s card and do it himself.  So we end up boycotting that store, which I urge you all to do.  So we went down the road to Staple’s and they do it without any hassle for less cash.  Score!
   Then we drive and drive and drive some more.  Kl0wn humors me with random stories of his love life.  Some of which are just downright scary.  Anyway, we drive and drive and drive some more.  Finally we reach our destination – Big Willie’s Cajun BBQ.  Fuck Waterbury, Big Willie’s is the only reason we go on these damn roadtrips.  So we sit there, and eat a ton.  <3 Unlimited soup and salad bar.  <3 Cajun cheesefries  (and there was no gravy on them Ben… you sick fucks in Mass).  Recently I have given up the ingestion of beef and pork products (insert random homosexual comment here), but Big Willie’s makes me cry as I eat a bigass steak.  After we leave the greatest place in the world, we get cigs down at this cool little town.
   Again Bryce makes us stop since the weather is getting chilly, and he needs a sweatshirt.  Our next location is the worst place in the world, Wal*Mart.  Fuck Wal*Mart, fuck it hard.  We spend a good hour in there looking for the perfect cheap hoodie, and an alarm clock since we figured out that there was a good chance of crashing in the car ahead of us.  I also pick up the Punisher DVD.  Well we survived Wal*Mart, but I was a little agitated.  Then we drive and we drive and we drive some more.  Finally we arrive in Waterbury.
   Long story short – we end up sleeping in my car outside some bus depot.  And by sleep I mean I sleep, and keep getting yelled at for my snoring.  Sorry kl0wn. We make it to the tournament and do our meet and greet thing.  This part is always fun, getting to see people you only talk to online with, and at these tournaments.  Well here’s where I start talking about magic.  Recently, I’ve sold all my Type-1 playable cards (Kowal where’s my money, bitch!), and I can only play the Burninator now.  This deck just owns anything with workshops, and random scrub players.  For those of you who I played, sorry I didn’t take notes, and I wrote down everything I could remember at work today.  

Round 1 – Some kid with Trinket Mage/Salvager.dec
   I haven’t seen half of these new cards and I didn’t realize the set was out or playable yet.  Well I play mox monkey and pyrostatic pillar.  Two very fast games.

1-0

Round 2 – Random Workshop.dec
   I win even though 2/3 games he gets a first turn trinisphere.

2-0

Round 3 – Some G/R zoo.dec?
   He spends time bolting my gorilla shamans; I spend time sending fire to the dome.

3-0

Round 4 and 5 – I don’t really remember these rounds all that well, except for seeing workshops, and I don’t lose to workshops.

4-0
5-0

Round 6 (the beginning of my failure) I look at the pairings and notice I’ve slipped the ranks of the table, I sit down and see my last round opponent at the top table.  So I ask Ray about it and he says it can happen, but to check my points.  So I do, and I only have 12 points.  So I ask to see my match slip, as all I thought was “oh my god, I did not fill out that match slip wrongâ€?.  And I didn’t it was just entered into the computer wrong, and it gets fixed.  So I go to the top table to face Grand Inquisitor.  

Game one he goes mox mox land tinker.  I cry.  Game two wasn’t much better.

5-1

G-I is one helluva guy, like he said in his report; I have partied with him at several pre-Waterbury shindigs.  The only thing I’d like to change about our games in the past is that I win them.  I can’t ever seem to take a game from this guy.  Oh well, it’s always a pleasure playing against him either way.

Round 7 – Ben Kowal.  
   You can read all about this in his report.

5-2

Round 8 – Ashok playing some workshop.dec without workshops.dec
   Close games, he ended up winning the match.  I’ve seen this guy around at most of the tournaments that I go to, and he seems like one hell of a nice guy.  

5-3

    So then I proceed to cry, and cry, and cry.  I had an amazing start and just crashed after round 5.  Then I watched Kowal play, hoping he’s lose since he said he’d trade me the playmat.  If any of you reading got one and is interested in trading or selling it, IM me on AIM @ Big D of CF.  All in all it was a great tournament, aside from going 5-3, and the bacon-bits.  Dear lord, that was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever done in my life.  
   Trip home, I pretty much slept through it all even though we slept in the car again that night.  We finally get back to Binghamton and I want Chinese food, but I realize I hadn’t bathed or changed since Friday and I was pretty funky.  

Burninator (60)

Creatures:
3 Infected Mox Monkeys
1 Ninja Mox Monkey (thanks kl0wn for altering them at my first Waterbury)

Fire to the dome:
4 Chain Lightning
4 Beta Lightning Bolt (who pimps sligh?)

pwn you to the extreme:
4 Price of Progress
4 Pyrostatic Pillar
4 Guerrilla Tactics
3 Fireblast
2 Shrapnel Blast

Random junk:
3 Ankh of Mishra (crucible what?)
1 Black Vice
1 Fork (w00t unrestricted)

1 fux0r j00r p14n5:
4 Wasteland
1 Strip Mine

Mana:
15 Mountain
1 Black Lotus
1 Mox Ruby
1 Sol Ring
1 Chrome Mox
1 Lotus Petal
1 Mana Crypt

Cyborg (15)

4 Big Frac
3 Viashino Heretic
3 Flametongue Kavu
3 Pyroclasm
2 Red Elemental Blast

Props

Ray for organizing yet another great tournament.
All of you who took a flyer for the Endicott tournament.
Myself, for whoring myself out for advertising the Endicott tournament.
All my opponents.  I didn’t have to play a single asshole all day.
Kl0wn, for driving and not killing me while I snored.
Girl/girl action
BIG WILLIE’S!!!

Slops

Ben Kowal for fucking up the computer and setting the dci reporter to a UK system.
Those of you who said you wouldn’t make it to the Endicott tournament.  FIND A WAY THERE DAMMIT!
   
Ohh and I just want to note, that all three of the fringe members who showed up placed in the top 32.

[Saucemaster]

It's like a time warp.  Let's back up to that thread I mentioned before.

The Fringe: OMG D00DS we totally roxx0red Meandeck players LOLROFL!
Meandeck: We made Top 8.  Did you?
The Fringe: STFU!

The Fringe: Psssssshhh we shittalk Meandeck because they don't win.
Meandeck: Don't win?  We made the finals, did you?
The Fringe: STFU!  OMG D00DS we totally roxx0red Meandeck players LOLROFL!

It's almost like there's a pattern or something.  I'm inclined to attribute The Fringe's apparent blindness to either willful ignorance or pure jealousy.  Seeing as the member of The Fringe who actually made T8 did so with... wait for it... a MEANDECK creation, I'm inclined to lean towards the latter.  But what the hell, it could always be both.

But seriously, I'm starting to feel guilty that we've hijacked this thread.  So to respond to the actual report: yes, fuck WalMart, fuck it hard.

[jpmeyer]

YOUR STIFILNG INNOVATION

[Tobi]

Great burn action, congratulations! I like to see them dieing that way  

One question about your Cy-board:

4 Big Frac

What does this stand for?  

[CrazyCarl]

Great report Derek.  I loved seeing Burnination at the top tables all day.  It's so good.  I particularly liked the using Kowal's Chalice against him.  Too bad he lucksacked out of it  Bring back Scald!!!!

Big Fracs is Fractured Loyalty.  So good.

Might I remind you Carl's only loss all day was me.  How many meandeckers were even in my bracket again?

Oh yeah.  That one guy.  That guy I beat.

And I was paying sooooooooo much attention to the game.  No, really, I was.

Oh wait, no I wasn't.

I Vamped for Ancestral in game 2.  With a Chalice for 1 out.  I was reeeeeeally into playing that game.  I had better things to do with that time, like getting moletsted or tied up.

Are those better things?

Oh well.

But yeah, I had wanted to x-0-2 because I'd be in the middle of the bracket where there were more relative unknowns.  The better known players were either at the top of the standings or down in the lower parts.  Playing for a higher slot was a very bad idea .

I'll get you yet Kowal.  Oh yes.

[Hyperion]

How come Burninator doesn't run Grim Lavamancer? Over, say, Guerilla Tactics? Do you find yourself otherwise lacking Fork targets? Or does Guerrilla Tactics get Duress'd/Twisted away that often?

[rvs]

How come Burninator doesn't run Grim Lavamancer? Over, say, Guerilla Tactics? Do you find yourself otherwise lacking Fork targets? Or does Guerrilla Tactics get Duress'd/Twisted away that often?

This probably leads back to old German wisdom: Creatures Are Bad.

[Shock Wave]

I am soooo jealous. I want to burn people too. I will definitely play my version of Burninator at the next event I attend .

[Dr. Sylvan]

How come Burninator doesn't run Grim Lavamancer? Over, say, Guerilla Tactics? Do you find yourself otherwise lacking Fork targets? Or does Guerrilla Tactics get Duress'd/Twisted away that often?

I did run the Lavamancer at GenCon, and wasn't too impressed by it. I didn't see the need for Tactics, so I ran Incinerate instead. If I played Burn again, I have no idea if Lavamancer would stay in, but Tactics would definitely stay out.

Of course, I was knocked out of T8 on Friday by a certain Canuck* who played Chalice for one a lot. :( I didn't draw the Fractured Loyalty against his Colossus, either; though I did get to steal a DC** during the Champs the next day. :)

* : Shockwave
** : Lost in Admiration, who is still waiting for his test vote no matter how much I bother the other screening people :(

[CrazyCarl]

Big D of CF: Bleh basic user sucks, guess I should post more so I can reply to my own report. If any of you guys can post something on my behalf, since Kowal hasn't yet, please do so:

1. Why do I run guerrilla tactics over anything else. Since everyone is workshop crazy, it's a great card. Memory Jar turns into 8 damage against them a lot of time, and that's usually for the kill. Windfall and Wheel of Fortune hurt them equally. Plus I like the two damage thing, in conjuction with Big FRACK! I can steal ophidians and other 3-toughness creatures.

2. Fuck Wal*Mart, fuck it hard.

[Tobi]

Why did you not run Wheel of Fortune and Barbarian Ring in your deck? They seem to fit well.
Now that Fork is getting unrestricted, a version with 3-4 copies would be interesting.

[Zherbus]

This thread has been cleaned, sterilized, and edited to remove all evidence of the flamefest. It should be noted that while some teams can have fun with rib-jabs, some simply can not.  

[leviat]

This thread has been cleaned, sterilized, and edited to remove all evidence of the flamefest. It should be noted that while some teams can have fun with rib-jabs, some simply can not.  

Damnit, I was using the bonfire from this thread to cook my eSmores.

Why did you not run Wheel of Fortune

To Quote Kowal: "Also, I fucking hate Wheel. 7/10 abuses it more than we do, Tog goes lethal off it, and Keeper is greatful for the fistful of new cards and fresh angels."

... and Barbarian Ring in your deck?

Barbarian Rings were not played in order to keep a high enough mountain count so that Fireblast was playable. Fireblast > Ring

Now that Fork is getting unrestricted, a version with 3-4 copies would be interesting.

This deck isn't designed for Fork, it wants to kill now, which means when you draw that Fork, your hand is going to be empty. Also, with the high Fireblast count it can be very tough to have enough lands in play to make the Fork useful (and if you actually make it to the late game where you will have enough lands, you've pretty much already lost). Personally, I think it's just a one-of toy.

I feel that if multiple Forks were to be used, they would be more suited for a control/utility deck like Ur Phid or a streamlined keeper.

[Hyperion]

1. Why do I run guerrilla tactics over anything else. Since everyone is workshop crazy, it's a great card. Memory Jar turns into 8 damage against them a lot of time, and that's usually for the kill. Windfall and Wheel of Fortune hurt them equally. Plus I like the two damage thing, in conjuction with Big FRACK! I can steal ophidians and other 3-toughness creatures.

1. The draw-7 tangent is interesting and something I hadn't considered. But it still seems like an awfully situational use for a card in a deck that you want to be as streamlined and consistent as possible.

2. Grim Lavamancer works just as well in conjunction with Fractured Loyalty for stealing X/3 creatures. With a 2-damage spell and Fractured Loyalty you're investing two cards to take a creature; with Grim Lavamancer and Fractured Loyalty it's a much easier proposition.

I did run the Lavamancer at GenCon, and wasn't too impressed by it. I didn't see the need for Tactics, so I ran Incinerate instead. If I played Burn again, I have no idea if Lavamancer would stay in, but Tactics would definitely stay out.

Fair enough, I have yet to play Burninator myself so I wouldn't know if Incinerate is preferable. But I guess I don't understand why, in a deck with no engine or drawing to speak of, a reusable source of damage would be bad.

[Rico Suave]

So, what would a version with unrestricted Fork look like, if you had to play it tomorrow?

Also, it's kinda funny Meandeck and The Fringe flame about such small cookies.  Why doesn't anyone want a piece of Reflection?  After all, we only sent one guy and he got first. ;P

[Kowal]

Arguing with Rich Shay is difficult.  He just makes funny faces and explains that he's a terrible player.

[Tobi]

So, what would a version with unrestricted Fork look like, if you had to play it tomorrow?

My list would probably look something like this:

4 Lightning Bolt
3 Guerrilla Tactics
4 Chain Lightning
3 Fork
3 Fireblast
3 Shrapnel Blast
1 Black Vise
3 Pyrostatic Pillar
4 Gorilla Shaman
3 Ankh of Mishra
4 Price of Progress
1 Wheel of Fortune
4 Wasteland
1 Strip Mine
1 Mox Ruby
1 Sol Ring
1 Black Lotus
1 Lotus Petal
1 Mana Crypt
14 Mountain

Wheel and Fireblast in response is good old tech, so I would play it.
I would try to use the opponents turn for my spells, and keep mana open until opponent turn's end, also to have maximum use for Fork.