Battle of the web sites

[Magi]

www.googlewar.com
haven't had this much amusement wasting time in a while.

just did a few quick searches:

themanadrain VS brainburst
brainburst wins 111,000 to 3,450

mtgnews VS brainburst
brainburst wins 111,000 to 63,500

starcitygames VS brainburst
starcitygames wins 118,000 to 111,000

Zherbus VS JP Meyer
JP Meyer wins 7,860 to 1,230

Rakso VS JP Meyer
JP Meyer wins 7,860 to 7,580

Magic: The Gathering VS Texas Hold'em
Texas Hold'em wins 2,750,000 to 1,420,000

Halo 2 VS World of Warcraft
Halo 2 wins 5,120,000 to 2,750,000

cheat codes VS free porn
free porn wins 4,940,000 to 4,070,000

asian porn VS dutch porn
asian porn wins 1,180,000 to 82,300

god VS satan
god wins 114,000,000 to 6,040,000

John Kerry VS George W. Bush
George W. Bush wins 11,500,000 to 7,590,000

whee...so much fun. The most I've found so far was "free" (1,050,000,000). Sex comes in at around 348,000,000 or so. Then a few just under that.

[Toad]

ROFLCOPTER beats LMAOPLANE 10300 to 73.

FRANCE beats NETHERLANDS 177,000,000 to 54,100,000.

[Bram]

Bram > Matthieu (1,690,00 vs. 1,030,00)

Force of Will > Mana Drain (81,600 vs. 11,600)

sex > magic (347,000,000 vs. 56,200,000)

you > me (2,010,000,000 vs. 621,000,000)

and finally:

"bram" vs. "everyhing"
results bram: 1,690,000
results everything: 18,500
The winner is:
bram

Hence Bram>*

[rvs]

rvs > Bram (2140000 vs 1690000)

Hence, rvs > bram > *

[Saucemaster]

Beer (26,500,000) vs Wine (57,000,000): The intelligentsia and the literati have it!

Whiskey (3,690,000) vs Vodka (3,300,000): GO IRISH!

In a striking example of human male (and possibly lesbian female) stupidity, Girlfriend (8,880,000) WALLOPED Friend with Benefits (8,650).  That's more than 1,000:1 there.  What is wrong with you all?  Girlfriend ALSO destroyed Hooker (2,740,000).  It seems that even the best Girlfriend can't compete with a good old-fashioned Slut (10,500,000), however.

Somewhat restoring my faith in humanity, Wolverine (2,870,000) demolished Cyclops (952,000).

And JP, it turns out you were right.  Darjeeling (663,000) takes Earl Grey (283,000) by about 2.5:1.

EDIT: It turns out that the Blue states might have a chance after all.  Jesus (44,400,000) just can't hold his own against the temptations of Porn (167,000,000).  Similarly, and to the dismay of Social Darwinists everywhere, it turns out that people prefer Love (226,000,000) to War (192,000,000)

[Bram]

Bible > Koran (sorry guys...39,600,000 > 2,080,000...guess we win ;-)

OMG. I was randomly looking at the most recent googlewar results posted on that site and found this:

Smmenen vs. PhantomTapeWorm

So good :-)

[Smmenen]

"penis"   vs.   "vagina"   
37,400,000       9,430,000

The Penis mightier.

However:
"dick"   vs.   "pussy"   
50,300,000   51,600,000

[BWM]

Control  (278.000.000) >>>> Prison (20.100.000) > Combo (18.200.000) >>>>>> Beatdown (271.000)

Type I (7.080.000) > Type II (6.090.000)

[virtual]

To add to the theorem of greatness.

rvs > Bram (2140000 vs 1690000)

Hence, rvs > bram > *

(from googlefight cause googlewar was down)

Virtual (81 200 000 results) versus rvs (2 140 000 results)

Hence, Virtual > rvs > bram > *

[theorigamist]

Salman Rushdie lost to Islam, as did Christianity and Judaism.  However, Jews and Christians beat Muslims nearly 2:1, and Muslims beat Gentiles about 6:1.  

The US beat itself in a fight (about 17:1).
The US beat the Arab World (about 120:1).
The US beat God (more than 10:1).
The US beat Common Sense (nearly 70:1).
The US also beat Porn and Sex and others that I thought would beat it.  The US has about 1.2 billion hits, so I'm having trouble finding something to beat it.

Also, some fights of personal interest:
Origami destroys Kirigami by a ratio of 125:1.
Paper beats Rock (155,000,000 to 135,000,000) AND Scissors (3,830,000).

[jpmeyer]

"the mana drain" beats "the man train" 1,400 to 892
"manland" beats "dutchieland" beats "franceland" 4,610 to 2,070 to 528

[Jacob Orlove]

http://www.googlewar.com/search.cfm?q1=Jacob+Orlove&q2=Ben+Kowal

Code:

     "Jacob Orlove"    vs.    "Ben Kowal"
      480 results              197 results
                 The winner is:
                 Jacob Orlove

[Komatteru]

I may only have 61 results, but do you have your name on several pages written in Chinese?  Yeah, that's right, I didn't think so.  Man, I'm sooooo cool.  But somehow my personal webpage doesn't show up...not sure how that works out, but whatever.

[Bram]

Wow. This software is really smart

Googlewar
"bram verhees" vs. "jacob orlove"
bram verhees 144
jacob orlove   881

The winner is:
jacob orlove

Related Googlewars:
ben kowal, justin droba, jacob orlove, jp meyer, smmenen

[dandan]

Googlewar
"Dandan" vs. "Team Meandeck"
134,000 results   737 results

The winner is:
Dandan

Related Googlewars:
team meandeck  
 
Nuff said.

[Saucemaster]

pwnd by an expatriate Englishman.  Damn, that hurts.  Whatever, your guys botched up the whole "liberating Holland" thing so badly that my team actually had to reinvent it.

[Matt]

"team reflection" 646
"meandeck" 571

"Republicans" 8,320,000
"Democrats"  12,100,000

"good" 431,000,000
"evil"    43,300,000

"America" 267,000,000
"Europe"  173,000,000

"affinity" 7,150,000
"type one" 700,000

[Jacob Orlove]

Code:

Googlewar
"english"   354,000,000
"1337"        3,190,000
The winner is:
english

[Bram]

Googlism > Googlewar 890,000 > 78,700

anal > oral 54,900,000 > 49,200,000

[Vegeta2711]

In clearly the most important war to date.

"Ninja"  9,510,000 vs. "Pirate" 7,080,000

The winner is:
Ninja

[Joel Rojo]

Just for nostalgia

                          Googlewar

"Beyond Dominia"    vs.    "Phyrexia.Com"
3,780 results                   2,570 results


                        The winner is:
                       Beyond Dominia

And, while we are at it:

                          Googlewar

"The Mana Drain"     vs.     "Beyond Dominia"
2,050 results                        3,780 results


                          The winner is:
                         Beyond Dominia

Also, just because I can

                          Googlewar

"Joel"                     vs.    "ur mom"
14,800,000 results         44,900 results


                       The winner is:
                              Joel

ur mom has been mexic0wned.

[dandan]

pwnd by an expatriate Englishman.  Damn, that hurts.  Whatever, your guys botched up the whole "liberating Holland" thing so badly that my team actually had to reinvent it.

Errrrrr. if I remember rightly you are referring to a small group of commandos (not Britanny) who took and held a bridge In Holland, which would, if held, have given a fast route in Germany, potentially shortening the war by months. They were expected to hold the bridge for 15 hours when a bunch of Yanks would arrive and claim all the glory. I must admit I can't remember how many days it was until the Yanks arrived but I'm pretty sure it was 5 or more (possibly because America joined the war 2 years too late and it took Hitler's submarine attack on American mainland ports before the US of A declared war on Gemany [this was after Pearl Harbor too]) by which time most of the Brits had been killed and wisely decided to surrender as their army spoons were proving to be pretty useless against the German tanks shelling them.

Team Meandeck - now (re)inventing history!

P.S. Of course you could be referring to the liberating effect of the swinging 60s and the current social values of the Dutch. I think it would be unfair to blame me for the number of women that Bram sleeps with (or at the very least is photographed with). I also think it is unfair to blame the Brits for Amsterdam's chocolate cake and I, for one, have never consumed cannabis in that particular form.

P.P.S. I now realise that it is possible that you have mistaken Holland for Iraq as neither have weapons of mass destruction (largely because it is a well-known fact that Dutch nuclear scientists play on the internet far more than they actually work).

[Saucemaster]

Errrrrr. if I remember rightly you are referring to a small group of commandos (not Britanny) who took and held a bridge In Holland, which would, if held, have given a fast route in Germany, potentially shortening the war by months. They were expected to hold the bridge for 15 hours when a bunch of Yanks would arrive and claim all the glory. I must admit I can't remember how many days it was until the Yanks arrived but I'm pretty sure it was 5 or more (possibly because America joined the war 2 years too late and it took Hitler's submarine attack on American mainland ports before the US of A declared war on Gemany [this was after Pearl Harbor too]) by which time most of the Brits had been killed and wisely decided to surrender as their army spoons were proving to be pretty useless against the German tanks shelling them.

I would normally turn it over to kirdape3 at this point, but I have no idea when he'll be on next.

Operation Market Garden was planned and conceived by Montgomery.  Who was British.  It was the largest airborne operation in history, so it wasn't just a small group of commandos, and it wasn't just one bridge, it was many many bridges, which was part of the problem.  Had it worked, it would have shortened the war dramatically, but it didn't.  There were a few American units involved as well, but the forces involved in the operation were overwhelmingly British.  The small group you're referring to, who *did* manage to hold out heroically for days, were holding half of the bridge at Arnhem--they never could manage to hold both sides, but it was a miracle that they were able to capture even the one.  They lasted at least 24 hours longer than anyone had any right to expect, but yes, they were basically down to throwing rocks at tanks while being shelled into oblivion.

The forces who were supposed to swing in and come to their rescue were actually British, but they couldn't get there nearly quickly enough and, because Montgomery and the rest of the Allied planners decided that they didn't want to trust the intelligence reports coming from the Dutch Underground, the resistance they faced was vastly higher than expected.  The British actually NEVER relieved the forces at the bridge, and pretty much the whole of the British 1st Airborne was decimated, making it the single biggest Allied defeat of the entire war.  It actually prolonged the war, because Eisenhower had diverted tremendous amounts of desperately needed supplies to the forces mounting the offensive.  British plan created by British generals, undertaken by British troops, with a few Americans thrown in for good measure.

Team Meandeck - why bother reinventing history when no one knows the original in the first place?

P.S.: No, no, I'm not "blaming" you for the social values of the Dutch!  That was part of Meandeck's strategy for the country when we reinvented it.  We tried it with America, but it doesn't seem to have quite caught on the way we'd hoped.  Initial signs were promising, but apparently the metagame is changing.

[rvs]

P.P.S. I now realise that it is possible that you have mistaken Holland for Iraq as neither have weapons of mass destruction (largely because it is a well-known fact that Dutch nuclear scientists play on the internet far more than they actually work).

Oh my, that is amazingly funny

[Dr. Sylvan]

"stanton": 6, 480, 000
"menendian": 2,970

TEH INTARWEB HAS SPOKEN.

[dandan]

The forces who were supposed to swing in and come to their rescue were actually British, but they couldn't get there nearly quickly enough and, because Montgomery and the rest of the Allied planners decided that they didn't want to trust the intelligence reports coming from the Dutch Underground, the resistance they faced was vastly higher than expected.  The British actually NEVER relieved the forces at the bridge, and pretty much the whole of the British 1st Airborne was decimated, making it the single biggest Allied defeat of the entire war.  It actually prolonged the war, because Eisenhower had diverted tremendous amounts of desperately needed supplies to the forces mounting the offensive.  British plan created by British generals, undertaken by British troops, with a few Americans thrown in for good measure.

Team Meandeck - why bother reinventing history when no one knows the original in the first place?

From that link

Clearly the primary concern for the Allies should have been the advance of the Canadian army to remove the remaining German forces from the area and open Antwerp.
Allied Supreme Commander Eisenhower ..., [prefered] to maintain a strategy of broad attack across the entire front. As the Normandy breakout offensive faltered, Montgomery, Bradley, and Patton argued anew for thrusting attacks, and Eisenhower eventually asked them for their plans.
Montgomery initially suggested a limited airborne assault, Operation Comet, consisting of an airborne assault in front of the British XXX Corps. Operation Comet was dropped in favor of a more ambitious plan.
The decision was apparently finally decided by command in the US.
Operation Market Garden is one of the most debated 'what ifs' of the war. Two perspectives tend to emerge in the historiography: UK historians tend to overlook the US Army's contribution, while US historians tend to excoriate Montgomery's generalship.
Eisenhower believed until his death that Market Garden was a campaign that was worth waging.

I'll blame the Canadians and the US command and concede that the largely British liberation of Holland was a cock-up. I must admit that I'd never heard of the Polish forces there. Good old Poland.

[Saucemaster]

I'll blame the Canadians and the US command and concede that the largely British liberation of Holland was a cock-up. I must admit that I'd never heard of the Polish forces there. Good old Poland.

This is way off topic and all (like all of this), but actually the Polish had it worse off than almost anyone but the small group of men who actually made it to the bridge at Arnhem (or the Americans in the 82nd Airborne who made a day crossing of the Waal in tiny little boats under heavy fire and took Omaha beach-like casualties).

Montgomery really was to blame for the operation, though I'll concede that Eisenhower was also to blame for okaying it.  As for blaming the Canadians, where do I sign up?  

Of course, if the Germans had decided to just Give Up (13,500,000) instead of Shoot Back (98,700) then the whole thing would have been MUCH easier and the Allied forces could have got right down to making out with hot Dutch girls instead of... dying.

[Matt]

You forgot Poland!

[dandan]

Any country that thought Stalin was sending in tanks to help them deserves all the sympathy they can get.

Zakopane - great place to visit.

Polish women - damned nice

Polish roads - 1. Try asphalt
                     2. When you use asphalt, try to level the road first

Sorry, just a little Carpathian jesting. Slovakia and Poland are jolly good pals.

[kirdape3]

Basically at that point the Poles were bent over the table harder than Brittany after a long night of Toad playing Type 1 in France.  Stalin's T-34s and JS-1s and -2s were a lot less menacing for the majority of the Polish countryside than Hitler's Mark IVs, Panthers, and Tigers were.

Market Garden was probably worth trying, but it was so hastily done that key elements like which bridges actually needed to be annexed and what German forces were in the area - Airborne forces did not have armor or for that matter heavy anti-tank guns that would be able to effectively challenge armored forces such as those deployed at Arnhem.  If it had worked after all, the road to Berlin would've been decisively opened with no significant forces remaining on the North German plain.