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« Reply #30 on: December 15, 2005, 03:21:37 pm » |
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superpower - invisibility
retarded superpower - you're only invisible to yourself
superpower - can see through walls (x-ray vision)
retarded superpower - can see through glass
superpower - flying
retarded superpower - you can only fly 1" off the ground
superpower - super-human strength
retarded superpower - you just get really pissed off at stuff
Bardo <- plagiarizer, sorta
Okay, these are hilarious. This thread took off like nobody's buisness, golly. I especially like the super strength power.  We were trying to figure one out for super-strength for the longest amount of time. We seriously never came upon this one. The retarded power: Belgium is probably the best on the whole thread, though. Kudos to funnyhood. |
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Bardo
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« Reply #31 on: December 15, 2005, 05:10:13 pm » |
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I especially like the super strength power. Smile We were trying to figure one out for super-strength for the longest amount of time. We seriously never came upon this one. To be fair, I jacked that gag from Mystery Men. That was Mr. Furious' "super power". |
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noitcelfeRmaeT||TeamReflection - .gniyd ysub si ,nrob gnieb ysub ton eH
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dandan
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« Reply #32 on: December 16, 2005, 03:05:44 am » |
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There was actually a whole team of not so super hero's in that series called Section 8. the best was a guy named friendly fire who could shoot fireballs ect. but he always managed to hit his allies instead of his foes.
As an Englishman I can tell you that this guy is alive and well and operating in the US armed forces. Friendly fire killed more Brits than the Iraqis in the last couple of wars over there. I think the Canadians might be able to confirm this. |
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Playing bad cards since 1995
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TJ-Whoopy
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« Reply #34 on: December 16, 2005, 11:02:59 pm » |
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Super Power: Fliinging Magic Cards ie: Gambit
Retarded Power: Flinging Magic Cards ie: Mtg
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Ball and Chain: The only Magic team worth being on when you no longer play Magic
Retired from Magic and loving it.
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dandan
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« Reply #35 on: December 19, 2005, 03:27:47 am » |
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Super Power : Being baaaaaaaaaaaaroken like YawgWill
Retarded Power : Being broken like Jittle
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Playing bad cards since 1995
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Dozer
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« Reply #36 on: December 19, 2005, 01:30:47 pm » |
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Superpower: Being able to read any map correctly.
Retarded Superpower: Always having to mulligan that because you have too many lands.
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a swashbuckling ninja Member of Team CAB, dozercat on MTGO MTG.com coverage reporter (Euro GPs) -- on hiatus, thanks to uni Associate Editor of www.planetmtg |
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BigMac
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« Reply #37 on: December 19, 2005, 05:10:01 pm » |
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Superpower: direction sense at all times
Retarded power: get lost in Belgium on your way to Lille
Superpower: smell really good
Retarded Power: reek like fish
Superpower: Run really fast
Retarded Power: midget in the arena with the lion and thinking you can win
Superpower: Russia
Retarded Power: Russia now
Superpower: knowing what other people think
Retarded power: being a shrink
Superpower: being a member of the justice league
Retarded power: being a lawyer
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Ignorance is curable
Stupidity is forever
Member of team ISP
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Dozer
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« Reply #38 on: December 19, 2005, 06:33:34 pm » |
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Superpower: direction sense at all times
Retarded power: get lost in Belgium on your way to Lille
HOLY FUCK YES! Only it usually happens on the way back. Superpower: Alcohol doesn't make you drunk. Retarded Superpower: Alcohol doesn't make you drunk. |
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a swashbuckling ninja Member of Team CAB, dozercat on MTGO MTG.com coverage reporter (Euro GPs) -- on hiatus, thanks to uni Associate Editor of www.planetmtg |
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Buttons
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« Reply #39 on: December 19, 2005, 07:47:55 pm » |
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Superpower: knowing what other people think
Retarded power: being a shrink
That's a hilarious one for Telepathy. (Mind reading, I believe.) Superpower: Telepathy. Retarded Superpower: Psychology. |
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BigMac
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« Reply #40 on: December 20, 2005, 05:43:40 pm » |
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Super power: walking on water
Retarded power: thinking you are god
Super power: Scoring with the girls
Retarded power: being a girl
Super power: Being Wonder Woman
Retarded power: Being a woman
Super power: being like mister magic (super elastic)
Retarded power: being able to get ten people in a susuki (without using a gigantic sledgehammer)
Super power: to hear really well
Retarded power: to hear people that are not really there
Super power: being able to morph into any person you have ever seen or touched
Retarded power: being able to slip into a crowd unnoticed
Super power: being invisible
Retarded power: never being noticed
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Ignorance is curable
Stupidity is forever
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Bram
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« Reply #41 on: December 20, 2005, 06:45:52 pm » |
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Super power: hypnosis
Retarded power: winning staring contests regularly
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<j_orlove> I am semi-religious
<BR4M> I like that. which half of god do you believe in?
<j_orlove> the half that tells me how to live my life
<j_orlove> but not the half that tells me how others should live theirs
R.I.P. Rudy van Soest a.k.a. MoreFling
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dandan
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« Reply #42 on: January 05, 2006, 05:27:03 am » |
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Super Power: Feeding 5000 people with a few fish and bread
Retarded Superpower: Being the Food Minister in Ethiopia
Super Power: Saving the world from Global Warming
Retarded Superpower: Leaving your air conditioning on
Super Power: Shooting sticky webs from your wrists
Retarded Super Power: Stuffing used tissues up your sleeve when you have a heavy cold
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Playing bad cards since 1995
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Harkius
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« Reply #43 on: January 05, 2006, 02:03:41 pm » |
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LOL. This is REALLY funny. I think that my favorites have got to be US vs. Belgium, Russia then and Russia now, the Telepathy vs. Psychology one is really, really funny, and the very first one, flying vs. not getting hurt when you fall off really tall buildings. Superpower: Being able to learn to do anything a normal human could do by watching someone else do it 1 time. Retarded Power: Having the above, and being blind. Ouch. Life sucks. Superpower: Being able to walk through walls. Retarded Power: Being incapable of not walking through walls. Good times, there. Superpower: Having no inertia. Retarded Power: Also, having no intertia. See? It works both ways! |
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Three essential tools for posting on the forums: Spell Check, Preview, and Your Brain. Use Them!
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Matt
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« Reply #44 on: January 05, 2006, 02:04:49 pm » |
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Superpower: Being able to walk through walls.
Retarded Power: Being unable to walk through doorways.
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http://www.goodgamery.com/pmo/c025.GIF---------------------- SpenceForHire2k7: Its unessisary SpenceForHire2k7: only spelled right SpenceForHire2k7: <= world english teach evar ---------------------- noitcelfeRmaeT {Team Hindsight}
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Bardo
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« Reply #45 on: January 05, 2006, 02:05:16 pm » |
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Superpower: Winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics
Retarded Superpower: Being retarded
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noitcelfeRmaeT||TeamReflection - .gniyd ysub si ,nrob gnieb ysub ton eH
:nraw ot sevorp ,sdrow detsaw syalp nroh wolloh ehT
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BigMac
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« Reply #46 on: January 05, 2006, 02:15:11 pm » |
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Superpower: being able to walk through walls
Retarded power: Everytime you try to walk through a wall you bounce back of the white wall protector in your secured empty room.
Superpower: being able to eat anything you like
Retarded power: not sharing
Superpower: knowing what everybody thinks
Retarded power: being Christophe Lambert
Superpower: being immortal
Retarded power: The above after seeing your loved ones die
Superpower: being able to fly
Retarded power: realising you are not in the matrix after jumping of the building
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Ignorance is curable
Stupidity is forever
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Pyromaniac
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« Reply #47 on: January 05, 2006, 03:11:06 pm » |
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The USA vs Belgium was a stroke of sheer genius Marco  Anyways: Superpower: Anything you touch turns to gold Retarded power: Anything you touch turns to gold: While fun at first, try picking up something like a sandwich and eat it Superpower: The Brain Retarded power: Pinky Superpower: R2D2 Retarded power: C3PO Superpower: Enron Retarded power: Enron's bookkeeper Superpower: Being able to punch through walls Retarded power: Trying it |
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It's hard to be religious, when certain people don`t get incinerated by lightning...
On another note, while Ancestral is clearly very very good, having it in your opening is hand is not. - AmbivalentDuck
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Revvik
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« Reply #48 on: January 06, 2006, 12:03:17 am » |
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Super Power: covering yourself in fire, a la Fantastic Four Retarded Power: not being immune to it Super Power: Flying Retarded Power: Booking a flight with OrbitzSuper Power: Telepathy Retarded Super Power: starting decklists with 4 x Telepathy EDIT: I've seen that movie dude, you forgot throwing a bowling ball that is haunted by your fathers skull. It didn't seem particularly funny in this context. Or even in Mystery Men, for that matter. I really enjoyed Mystery Men. Screw you guys, I'm gonna go watch it right now. |
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« Last Edit: January 06, 2006, 12:10:17 am by Revvik »
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http://www.thehardlessons.com/I will break into your house while you aren't home and disguise myself as a chair. Then I will leave before you get home, but there will be a place at your table where I was a chair and you will wonder why there isn't a chair there. Then later I will leave the chair disguise on your doorstep and you will realize what has happened and you will be afraid all the time. Helter Skelter mother fuckers!
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Harkius
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« Reply #49 on: January 06, 2006, 12:56:18 am » |
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Not to get too off topic or anything, but this is really useful information. I just wrote those bastards at Orbitz. Another lost customer! And I fly four times a year, too. Customer service is important, damnit... Harkius |
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Three essential tools for posting on the forums: Spell Check, Preview, and Your Brain. Use Them!
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MaxxMatt
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« Reply #50 on: January 06, 2006, 08:38:01 am » |
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Normal Superpower (!!!!) = E=mc^2
Normal Superpower (???) = (Z->)90°-(E-N'W)90°t=1
Retarded Superpower = Having been able to translate it...
:shock:
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Team Unglued - Crazy Cows of Magic since '97
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Se io do una moneta a te e tu una a me, ciascuno di noi ha una moneta
Se io do un'idea a te e tu una a me, ciascuno di noi ha due idee
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WildWillieWonderboy
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« Reply #51 on: January 06, 2006, 08:09:53 pm » |
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Superpower: Hitting every note perfectly
Retarded Superpower: Fuck notes (Andrew W.K.)
Retardeder Superpower: Lip Synching/singing the wrong song when trying to lip synch (Ashlee Simpson)
Superpower: Eloquence (Ability to speak artfully and convincingly)
Retarded Superpower: SCG Posting (Ability to confuse one's opponent in a debate with glaring non-sequiturs and flagrant inaccuracies)
Superpower: Pyrokinesis (Ability to control flames, like that kid in X2)
Retarded Superpower: Putting cigarettes out on your arm
Superpower: Flopping the nuts
Retarded Superpower: Flopping someone else's nuts
Superpower: Shooting energy out of your eyes
Retarded Superpower: Shooting milk out of your eyes
Superpower: Screaming Really loudly (Landlady from Kung Fu Hustle)
Retarded Superpower: Inability to use one's inside voice
Superpower: Ability to control the weather (Storm)
Better Superpower: Ability to copy a spell once for each spell played this turn (Storm)
Superpower: Ability to sac Troy
Retarded Superpower: Ability to loot New Orleans
Superpower: The People's Republic of China
Retarded Superpower: The United States of America
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Founder of Team Cleandeck: Not smelling like ass since ever.
Team Meandeck: Vintage Rock Steady Crew
Posthumous Commonwealth of The Paragons: Power up our scuzzy drives while we chat on CompuServe about how awesome Keeper is.
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jro
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« Reply #52 on: January 07, 2006, 12:22:51 am » |
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Superpower: Always draw Black Lotus in your opening hand
Retarded power: Never, ever, ever draw it in your opening hand, not once
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Zeke
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« Reply #53 on: January 07, 2006, 08:35:26 pm » |
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Superpower: Levitation
Retarded Super Power: Ability to only levitate at 10000 miles in the air.
Super power: Walking over water
Retarded Super Power: Walking on a bed without it moving too much (but still moving a little bit).
Super power: Screams that cause sonic booms that knock down your foes
Retarded Super Power: Screaming so that people are forced to punch infants. Aka like Ashlee Simpsons
Super power: Covering yourself in some element, like Fire (human torch) or Ice (iceman).
Retarded Super Power: Covering yourself in poison ivy. No, not the plant, the rash.
Super power: heat vision
Retarded Super Power: lukewarm or Room temperature vision.
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Nastaboi
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« Reply #54 on: January 10, 2006, 12:00:52 pm » |
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Superpower: Being able.
Retarded superpower: Being.
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Hahaha. I don't think that face quite suits my body!
Don't worry, it doesn't fit mine either. |
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dandan
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« Reply #55 on: January 11, 2006, 04:15:36 am » |
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Superpower: Always draw Black Lotus in your opening hand
Retarded power: Never, ever, ever draw it in your opening hand, not once
Retarded power: Always draw Black Lotus in your opening hand whilst playing Legacy |
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Playing bad cards since 1995
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Nastaboi
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« Reply #56 on: January 11, 2006, 08:22:53 am » |
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Superpower: Being able to stretch like Mr. Fantastic.
Retarded superpower: Being able to stretch like Mr. Flexible (working overtime unpaid).
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Hahaha. I don't think that face quite suits my body!
Don't worry, it doesn't fit mine either. |
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BigMac
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« Reply #57 on: January 12, 2006, 08:53:23 am » |
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superpower: to be
retarded power: not to be
superpower: being the strongest man on earth
retarded power: being President Bush
superpower: Bill Gates
retarded power: windows
superpower: being invulnerable
retarded power: always being the one that is stinged by mosquitos
superpower: always knowing what to choose
retarded power: always being in doubt what to choose
superpower: knowing the future
retarded power: knowing when you will die (especially when it is in about 5 minutes)
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Ignorance is curable
Stupidity is forever
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