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everythingitouchdies
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« on: December 20, 2005, 04:12:05 pm » |
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Hey all, Merry whatever you celebrate, or happy lack of celebrating as it may be.
Much Love
Deadboy
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forests failed you
De Stijl
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« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2005, 05:40:22 pm » |
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seasons beatings buddy
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Grand Prix Boston 2012 Champion
Follow me on Twitter: @BrianDeMars1
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Bram
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I've got mushroom clouds in my hands
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« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2005, 06:44:11 pm » |
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I heard there is no Christmas in the silly Middle East.
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus, they have different religious beliefs.
They believe in Muhammad and not in our holiday
And so every December I go to the Middle East and say:
Hey there Mr. Muslim, Merry fucking Christmas!
Put down that book the Koran and hear some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticed, It's Jesus's birthday,
So get off your heathen Muslim ass and fucking celebrate. |
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<j_orlove> I am semi-religious
<BR4M> I like that. which half of god do you believe in?
<j_orlove> the half that tells me how to live my life
<j_orlove> but not the half that tells me how others should live theirs
R.I.P. Rudy van Soest a.k.a. MoreFling
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Machinus
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« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2005, 06:50:13 pm » |
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You left out the rest! There is no holiday season in India I've heard -
They don't hang up their stockings, and that is just absurd!
They've never read a christmas story, they don't know what Rudolph is about,
And that is why in December, I'll go to India and shout...
Hey there Mr. Hinduist, merry fucking christmas!
Drink eggnog and eat some beef, and pass it to the missus.
In case you haven't noticed, it's jesus's birthday,
So get off your heathen hindu ass and fucking celebrate!
Now I heard that in Japan everyone just lives in sin.
They pray to several gods and put needles in their skin.
On December 25th all they do is eat a cake,
And that is why I go to Japan and walk around and say...
Hey there Mr. Shintoist, merry fucking christmas!
God is going to kick your ass you infidelic pagan scum.
In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do,
So lets all rejoice for jesus and merry fucking christmas to you.
On christmas day I travel `round the world and say,
Taoists, krishnas, buddhists, and all you atheists too,
Merry fucking christmas, to you! |
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« Last Edit: December 20, 2005, 06:55:17 pm by Machinus »
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T1: Arsenal
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Bram
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I've got mushroom clouds in my hands
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« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2005, 07:05:29 pm » |
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The rest is irrelevant. India and Japan OBVIOUSLY don't really exist.
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<j_orlove> I am semi-religious
<BR4M> I like that. which half of god do you believe in?
<j_orlove> the half that tells me how to live my life
<j_orlove> but not the half that tells me how others should live theirs
R.I.P. Rudy van Soest a.k.a. MoreFling
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Machinus
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« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2005, 07:06:39 pm » |
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The song is really hilarious to listen to, way better than just reading the lyrics.
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T1: Arsenal
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Komatteru
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Joseiteki
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« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2005, 10:12:10 pm » |
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The rest is irrelevant. India and Japan OBVIOUSLY don't really exist.
I know Japan exists. I can speak the language and it lets me get people send me shiny cards from there. |
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Godder
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« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2005, 11:29:43 pm » |
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Season's greetings and all that  . If you attend a staff function, make sure you get hideously drunk, bang the secretary and insult the boss, or, better yet, take incriminating photos of the boss, so you can ensure a happy New Year.. |
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That's what I like about you, Laura - you're always willing to put my neck on the line. |
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Bram
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I've got mushroom clouds in my hands
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« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2005, 04:30:53 am » |
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I know Japan exists. I can speak the language and it lets me get people send me shiny cards from there. Yeah, I get asianBB cards from Osaka all the time, too. The letters come with a nice stamp on them; another obvious fake. You claim to speak the language. That's fine; I believe you. I know people who can speak Klingon. That doesn't meer Q'onos exists. Think about it. Have you ever actually BEEN to Japan? I tells ya, it's all an elaborate hoax. It's just a little more well-executed than the India one (which almost noone in their right mind buys). |
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<j_orlove> I am semi-religious
<BR4M> I like that. which half of god do you believe in?
<j_orlove> the half that tells me how to live my life
<j_orlove> but not the half that tells me how others should live theirs
R.I.P. Rudy van Soest a.k.a. MoreFling
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nataz
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Mighty Mighty Maine-Tone
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« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2005, 02:08:36 pm » |
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Think about it. Have you ever actually BEEN to Japan? I tells ya, it's all an elaborate hoax. It's true, I don't even exist! *poof* /gone - Jared Herbert Nishimura Carter |
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I will write Peace on your wings
and you will fly around the world
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Magi
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« Reply #10 on: December 24, 2005, 05:12:53 am » |
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To all of you, a very merry christmas/happy holidays from the northwest.  And happy new year. |
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Jacob Orlove
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« Reply #11 on: December 24, 2005, 12:56:02 pm » |
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You left out the rest!
When you said that, I was soooo hoping that they'd put Israel in there, but I guess even South Park has limits. Happy Hanukkah and other Holy Days to all! |
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Team Meandeck: O Lord,
Guard my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking guile.
To those who slander me, let me give no heed.
May my soul be humble and forgiving to all.
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The Atog Lord
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« Reply #12 on: December 24, 2005, 01:01:19 pm » |
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Merry Christmas |
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The Academy: If I'm not dead, I have a Dragonlord Dromoka coming in 4 turns
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Komatteru
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Joseiteki
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« Reply #13 on: December 24, 2005, 01:22:30 pm » |
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Yeah, I get asianBB cards from Osaka all the time, too. The letters come with a nice stamp on them; another obvious fake. You claim to speak the language. That's fine; I believe you. I know people who can speak Klingon. That doesn't meer Q'onos exists. Think about it. Have you ever actually BEEN to Japan? I tells ya, it's all an elaborate hoax. It's just a little more well-executed than the India one (which almost noone in their right mind buys).
I'm apparently going this summer. So if I get off the plane and fall into the ocean, then we'll know it was all an elaborate hoax. Note that all of the things you said could be applied to Wyoming. I'm not sure that place exists either, despite "having been there." I mean, it was like a Wasteland. It is possible that "Wyoming" is the word for "wasteland" in some crazy random African language. I would also not be surprised if Wyoming tapped to destroy a non-basic state. This is likely the nation's best guard against the loonies from California.  Also, Merry Christmas. |
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Bram
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I've got mushroom clouds in my hands
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« Reply #14 on: December 24, 2005, 03:17:00 pm » |
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Note that all of the things you said could be applied to Wyoming. I'm not sure that place exists either, despite "having been there." I know. I have the same feeling. I'm receiving medication for that, though. Merry christmas to everyone! |
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<j_orlove> I am semi-religious
<BR4M> I like that. which half of god do you believe in?
<j_orlove> the half that tells me how to live my life
<j_orlove> but not the half that tells me how others should live theirs
R.I.P. Rudy van Soest a.k.a. MoreFling
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Klep
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« Reply #15 on: December 24, 2005, 03:21:31 pm » |
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Garfield and Friends taught me that Wyoming doesn't exist. I have not found sufficient evidence to indicate otherwise.
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So I suppose I should take The Fringe back out of my sig now...
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WildWillieWonderboy
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Official Tourney GPS
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« Reply #16 on: December 26, 2005, 02:52:45 pm » |
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Gotcha covered Jacob. I tried to preserve the random run-on lines and irregular enjambment pattern while sounding like the most ignorant inbred piece of shit I could, in keeping with the original song. Here's two verses, enjoy!
The children of Israel don't even take the day off.
They keep their Delis open and sell bagels and lox.
The rest of the year they make up holidays like Rosh Hoshannah
And so a week before New Year's I go to Brooklyn and tell them all...
Hey there Mr. Judaist, Merry Fucking Christmas!
The Messiah has come and you killed him off so pay your damn respects.
Open that huge nose and smell the pine trees too,
Or it's back in the ovens with you.
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Founder of Team Cleandeck: Not smelling like ass since ever.
Team Meandeck: Vintage Rock Steady Crew
Posthumous Commonwealth of The Paragons: Power up our scuzzy drives while we chat on CompuServe about how awesome Keeper is.
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Jacob Orlove
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« Reply #17 on: December 29, 2005, 12:20:12 am » |
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That was incredibly offensive, and absolutely hilarious. I loved it.
Since almost everything else is over, Happy New Year to everyone on the Gregorian Calendar, and Happy Excessively Politically Correct Holidays to everyone else.
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Team Meandeck: O Lord,
Guard my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking guile.
To those who slander me, let me give no heed.
May my soul be humble and forgiving to all.
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everythingitouchdies
Guest
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« Reply #18 on: December 31, 2005, 05:01:58 am » |
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^^^ what he just said, again, before I go get drunk.
Love ya all.
But if you play cards when you could be out getting laid, you are letting me down.
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