I awoke this morning with grim anticipation. Today I would kill a man, and today I would at long last reclaim my people's honor. This vile dog Urzatron long ago stole from us what was ours: the sacred Black Lotus, and ever since I have been sworn to retrieve it and exact our revenge.
Many years had I bided my time, until this fateful day when my enemy made his fatal mistake: announcing a tournament with my quarry as the prize. Great fool! Surely he must have known I would find out about this. Today I absolve the sins of my people. Today I recover the sacred Black Lotus. Today Urzatron dies.
My morning meditations completed, I stepped out of the shadows and into the tournament venue. Urzatron blanched when he saw me, and ran into the back of the store to hide. Coward. I paid my fee with a few minor trinkets, and registered the following, a deck handed down through my people for generations, steeped in deepest mystery and here revealed to outsiders for the first time:
Meandeck Conspiracy
4 Ninja of the Deep Hours
4 Higure, the Still Wind
4 Ink-Eyes, Servant of Oni
4 Okiba-Gang Shinobi
4 Skullsnatcher
4 Walker of Secret Ways
4 Throatslitter
4 Mistblade Shinobi
4 Cloud Pirates
4 Kukemssa Pirates
4 Rishadan Airship
4 Rishadan Brigand
4 Rishadan Cutpurse
4 Rishadan Footpad
4 Talus Scount
4 Talus Warrior
4 Reef Pirates
4 Pirate Ship
4 Kiku, Night's Flower
4 Mistform Ultimus
4 Blinding Powder
4 Neko-Te
4 Shuko
4 Shuriken
4 Conspiracy
4 Subversion
4 Infiltrate
4 Cloak of Mists
4 Infiltrator's Magemark
4 Veil of Secrecy
4 Battle of Wits
1 Mox Sapphire
1 Mox Jet
1 Mox Ruby
1 Mox Emerald
1 Mox Pearl
1 Mox Diamond
1 Chrome Mox
1 Sol Ring
1 Mana Crypt
1 Mana Vault
25 Island
25 Swamp
This was the tool with which I would take my vengeance. With 96 players, I sat down to begin the first of many rounds.
Round 1 – A Great Fool with Suicide BlackTruly only a great fool would attempt to defeat me, and only a great fool would do so with such a terrible deck. Rather than play out this match, I chopped off his head for his insolence. The judge threatened me with an Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalty, but wilted under my stare as I wiped my sword clean on my erstwhile opponent's shirt.
1-0
Round 2 – A Wise Man Who Fails to ShowClearly wizened by my lightning-fast victory over my Round 1 opponent, my opponent for Round 2 does not come to the table, opting instead to hide in the bathroom with the door locked. As if locks could stop one such as I, should I wish to kill him. Any other day I might have, but on this day I must remain focused, and as my opponent is not in my way to my goal, I allow him his life.
2-0
Round 3 – Jacob Orlove with Elves!At last, a true opponent. The name of Jacob Orlove is well known to my people. We call him The Traveler, and he appears in our stories and history many times throughout the ages. Sometimes he is our friend, and other times he opposes us. Today he stands in my way, and though his abilities give me cause for alarm, I know I must prevail. I bow and sit down to face my destiny.
Jacob wins the roll, opting to play and stares at me with eyes that have seen a million years and tells me he will keep. A man could lose his soul in those eyes, so I quickly avert my gaze to my hand, which is also passable. Jacob puts pressure on quickly with an early Smokestack, but my hand was possessed of a number of early drops, so he is soon forced to sacrifice it to itself. We are forced into a stall where his Elvish Lyrist contains my Auras and his Wellwisher prevents the life loss from the creatures I am able to get through. Disaster almost strikes when he follows up a Wrath of God with a few more Elves, but I rip Higure, the Still Wind and a Cloak of Mists off the top to rebuild my board faster than he can manage. A Shuriken starts to kill his team and we are soon on to game 2.
Game 2 is the hardest game of my life. Jacob uses his Terrors and Dark Banishings to kill my early creatures while playing a few Elves of his own. I am nearing the end of my rope when I spot the play that will save me. I play a Mistblade Shinobi, equip it with Shuriken, and use that to kill his Elvish Lyrist. I then play Battle of Wits. Taken aback, Jacob looks up and stares into my eyes. I meet his gaze with all the confidence I can muster. For 10 minutes we sit like that, engaged in combat which cannot be described with mere words. I know not what Jacob saw in me as I sat there frozen by his infinite stare, but after an eternity he picked up his cards and granted me the game. I slumped back in my seat, exhausted, but elated. My name would now find its own place in the history books of my people, as one who went head to head against The Traveler and survived.
3-0
Round 4 – Another Great FoolWord of my accomplishments today has spread, and my Round 4 opponent attempts to bribe me into sparing his life. In response to the grievous insult to my honor, I disembowel him before severing his head from his torso. For this act I am thanked by the judge, whom I apparently saved the great deal of paperwork involved in a disqualification.
4-0
Round 5 – Mao Ling, White Lily Clan With Samurai!The White Lily Clan has always been an enemy of the Black Lotus. Mao Ling and I have crossed swords many a time before, but the treacherous dog has always managed to use some trickery to escape me. This time would be different.
Both games proceeded the same. Mao led with a number of Samurai, but they were no match for my Ninja and Pirates. After my stunning victory, Mao Ling committed seppuku to absolve his shame.
5-0
Round 6 – Rich Shay With Control SlaverRich asks me if I want to draw, so I whip out my sword and advance. He quickly backs away, explaining that he meant in the tournament. I accept his proposal and we get some sushi from the on-site Japanese restaurant.
5-0-1
Round 7 – Demonic Attorney With Control SlaverWe are discussing the possibility of a draw when the judge comes over with a frown on his face. It turns out that Demonic Attorney is banned, and so he is issued a Disqualification Without Prize.
6-0-1
My path has been long, but I have reached the Top 8. Only three more battles until I have recovered my people's rightful property.
Quarterfinals – Ben Kowal With GiftsGame 1 is an epic battle. An early Tinker from Kowal puts a Darksteel Colossus into play, but I am able to keep it tapped down with a Pirate Ship and a Neko-Te. I build up my forces and am about to win when a timely Pyroclasm wipes out most of my board. He follows that up with a Time Vault, and it is apparent to me that he will play Yawgmoth's Will next turn to play Flame Fusillade out of his bin. Thus on my turn I ninjutsu in a Skullsnatcher and remove it from the game. Each of us impressed by the other's play, we decide to draw. The judge starts to complain, but I stare him down and one of the other quarterfinal winners is given a loss.
Semifinals – OMG! IT'S KLEP with Meandeck ConspiracyWhat treachery is this?! Our secret deck has been leaked into the world! When I return to my homeland, the traitor responsible for this will be ferreted out and killed. Enraged, I sit down to confront my opponent. I question him as to where he found the decklist, and he said he purchased it from an elderly shopkeeper in a mysterious little shop of miscellany in an ally somewhere. I have heard of such shops; they are rarely in the same place twice. Tracking down this shopkeeper will indeed be a grand quest for whomever the elders decide to bestow it upon.
Game 1 I am taken completely offguard. This Klep is the most masterful player I have ever encountered. His grasp of this game is unparalleled, even by The Traveler! I try my best, but I am only able to get him to one life before I die. I have lost a game! My first of the day! Chagrined, I realize I have grown overconfident, and silently vow to win the next two games.
Game 2 Klep suffers from manascrew, and I win handily. Once again on even footing, we shuffle up for the final game.
Game 3 we have almost the exact same draws. It would have been another close match, but where Klep draws Blinding Powder, Shuko, Infiltrate and Shuriken, I draw all 4 Shurikens and win through Shuriken advantage.
Once again I must emphasize the amazing skill displayed by my opponent this round. If the prize were not of such importance to me and my people, I would have conceded out of respect. Unfortunately, I was forced to defeat this most worthy opponent, in pursuit of my ultimate goal.
Finals – Urzatron With TreacheryBen Kowal actually won his semifinals match with Urzatron but, vile dog that he is, Urzatron had himself declared winner and so faced me in the finals. I didn't know the cowardly gaijin had it in him to face me, but he did. I storm up to the table where he was sitting, throw it aside, and swing my sword down at his neck. But before I can sever his head, Jacob catches my blade and tells me to stop. He refers back to our epic battle in Round 3 and says that I may take my Lotus, but that the price for his concession is that I spare Urzatron's life.
Angry, but realizing the power that would be set against me should I refuse, I consent on the condition that the second place prize go to Kowal, and I warn Urzatron that should he ever cross me or my people again, not even The Traveler will be able to save him. With that, I collect my Lotus and step back into the shadows, to walk the secret paths home to my people's temple.
Props:
The venue for having Japanese food available, and free internet access.
The Traveler, for his gracious concession and for his capacity for mercy.
Shuriken.
Klep, for being such an amazing player and on top of that an amazingly nice guy.
Slops:
The Traveler, for thwarting my revenge.
Urzatron, for being a cowardly, treacherous cur.
