[primer for non-dutch folk] You Know You've been in Holland for too long....

[Marske]

Since we now don't have a "funnay" forum anymore but I still wanted to share this with you guys as I lol'd after reading this

Disclaimer: Most of it is actually pretty true!

You Know You've been in the Netherlands for too long when...

1/ You have a bike
2/ You even know how to brake using retropedaling
3/ Walking from your faculty to the cafeteria has become unimaginable. You take your bike, even if it's for 50meters
4/ Eating 7 slides of bread for lunch doesn't scare you anymore
5/ By the way, you stopped eating warm lunch. You just eat bread
6/ You know what a kroket is, and you learned to avoid the orange ones
7/ It doesn't surprise you anymore to eat at 18:30
8/ You drink beer
9/ You got used to trance and electro music
10/ You don't cheat on the train, because controllers are EVERYWHERE
11/ When the cafeteria is crowed, you line up neately with the others
12/ You used to use cash all the time, but now you have a pin card
13/ You think ducks are cute
14/ As soon as the sun pops out, you make a barbecue, even if it's 10°C outside
15/ You think 15°C is warm
16/ You know winter stops in May, and not March as everywhere else
17/ You don't remember what a moutain looks like
18/ You still don't know how to speak Dutch. But your English has improved
19/ You know what Surinam is. And where it is
20/ You never go out without your bike lights
21/ You think butter in a bottle is normal
22/ You know that all the guys are in Delft. And the girls, everywhere else, especially Leiden
23/ You go to Leiden on saturday
24/ You've been to a flower park, and thought it was cool
25/ You're ok with having only one flavour of ice cream (the white ones)
26/ You don't even bother to ask "do you speak English?", you just speak English right away
27/ When you go to the cinema, you are ok with being told where to sit
28/ And you wouldn't dare sit anywhere else
29/ You have finally accepted the fact that Gouda is cheese
30/ Paying 6€ for a meal in the cafeteria seems normal
31/ You know how to repair a bike
32/ You eat potatoes at least once a day
33/ You always check the weather before leaving home
34/ You know what it is being late and having to wait for a boat to cross the bridge
35/ You can drink milk at any time of the day
36/ Sometimes, you only drink milk as lunch
37/ You have tried karnemelk at least once
38/ You start liking dropjes
39/ For you something sweet means straubwaffels
40/ Spring means flowers blooming and construction sites opening up all over the place
41/ Being tall gets a new meaning
42/ Blonde is back to being a hair-color, not a concept
43/ you have 4 seasons in one day
44/ you can start a mail to your teacher who happens to be a doctor by "yo, wassup doc" (exaggeration can get the message through)
45/ You think that paying to use the toilets is normal.
46/ You know that kapsalon is not a typical turkish dish, but a hairdresser
47/ You start to think that the strange position of the hole in the WC is not that disgusting
48/ You find it easier to find a good joint that a good coffee
49/ You have the AH bonus card
50/ Your windows have no curtains, and you don't care
51/ If your windows have curtains, you don't use them, and just don't care who might be looking at you
52/ For you, light rain is not rain
53/ Professors write a "well done" comment in your assignment and still grade you with a 6
54/ You can drink beer in the cinema (good)
55/ 10°C is warm enough to wear a short or mini skirt
56/ You can ride your bike in the rain, wind and even snow
57/ guys are very cute
58/ you can ride your bike wearing skirt (if you're a girl), a suit or even high heels (if you're a girl)
59/ When you start having strong opinion even if you vaguely know the topic
60/ When you "wash" the dishes with soap without rincing them
61/ "alstublieft and dank u wel" are the only dutch words you know
62/ You aren't surprised anymore that the disco closes at 4 (but it still pisses you off)
63/ You learn to bike without using your hands on the handle
64/ You go to the market and you only buy the stuffs that fit in you bike
65/ Riding a bike and driking coffee/smoking/eating lunch at the same time is not a problem any more
66/ You reformulate the saying "if you drink, don't drive" by "if you drink, don't ride"
67/ You've been asked where the coffeeshop is
68/ You start wearing orange during soccer events, even when you're not dutch
69/ You get used not to use napkins when eating. You just eat dirtily.
70/ You know what GVD stands for
71/ You can never predict the weather and can not believe the weather forecast anymore
72/ You wait for the light to go green before crossing the street, even if there is no car
73/ You sometimes eat only with a spoon
74/ You tried fried fish from the caravans at least once
75/ You clap the lecturer (just because he's been speaking for 2 hours)
76/ You run to Albert Heijn at 21.55 to get some beer for the party that night
77/ Trees planted in straight rows/ aka the forest/ seems normal
78/ You think you understand why they don't serve coffee at coffeeshops (but you're not sure yet)
79/ You steal a bike at the station because the night before someone stole yours
80/ You think it is okay to eat multicoloured sprinkels on bread for breakfast
81/ You use 9292ov.nl to go to the supermarket
82/ You know that the wind blows in your face regardless of the direction in which you are biking
83/ You don't even try to park in an unauthorised area just to 'pick something up in 5min', because you know you will get a ticket in 30secondes
84/ When you move out of your appartment, you know you might have to take the floors with you
85/ Stepping in doggiepoo on the sideawalk becomes almost a daily thing

[The Atog Lord]

You take your bike, even if it's for 50meters

86/ You use these things called ``meters''

[Tobi]

This reminds me of a movie quote that starts with "You know what the funny thing about Europe is?"

It surprises me to see no fun being made about the dutch and their love for caravans. In Germany the Dutch are mainly known for pulling their caravans along the Autobahn to southern Europe.

And I have one joke that is told in germany:
"Do you know what happens to a dutch that fails to gain a driving license?"
"He gets a yellow car number plate."

[Prospero]

87.  Nine or ten months of rain is normal.
88.  You think it's odd when someone doesn't have a dog.  Or, when someone does clean up after their dog.
89.  You don't worry about getting mugged, or robbed, but you do worry about your bike being stolen.
90.  You begin to like Rotterdam.
91.  80 degrees Fahrenheit = Heat Wave
92.  You reach for change to pay for your ketchup.

[Marske]

90.  You begin to like Rotterdam.

HERESY !! YOU DAMN SAVAGE !!

[Prospero]

90.  You begin to like Rotterdam.

HERESY !! YOU DAMN SAVAGE !!

So is this where I get demoted to 'New User' status?

[Marske]

Nick, be very very happy we don't do bannings for the crap you just pulled

[Will]

93.  Your favorite soccer club is Feyenoord.

[Marske]

93.  Your favorite soccer club is Feyenoord.

At least I know Nick's a "closet" Red Socks fan, I'm awaiting the day he finally comes clean and just admits it....

[Cruel Ultimatum]

94. Every deck stars off as 3 repeals 2 tops

Btw stroubpwaffels are amazing

[Prospero]

Marius, ik heb mijn nederlands vergeten - kan je mij helpen? Ik moet weten wat dit is. Ik herinneren dat je zong dit lied:

Hand in hand, kameraden, hand in hand voor Feyenoord 1

Geen woorden, maar daden, leve Feyenoord 1

Hand in hand, kameraden, hand in hand voor Feyenoord 1

Geen woorden, maar daden, leve Feyenoord 1

Ga je mee naar 't stadion, naar de ploeg van rood en wit

Zoek een plaatsje in de zon, waar je zo gezellig zit

Kijk, ze komen op 't veld, een gejuich uit duizend kelen

Want je staat er van versteld, als de sterrenploeg gaat spelen

Dan is altijd wat je hoort

Het lied van Feyenoord


Wat is dit meneer?

[Mantis]

90.  You begin to like Rotterdam.

I clearly haven't been in Holland for long enough then.....

[Marske]

@Mike,
Stroop wafels are indeed very very awesome (Rich Shay can confirm it as well)

@Nick,
Jij en ik weten allebei dat jou Nederlands goed genoeg is om te weten wat je daar allemaal gepost hebt.... Je hebt je zeker te weten vergist... er is maar 1 clublied dat ik zing:

Een juichtoon da-vre langs de velden
Voor ons dierbaar rood en wit
De ploeg de dapp`re Meersche helden
Onze vreugd` en trotsch bezit
Alom Gevreesd in heel den lande
Glorie onzer Amstel-stad ...
Ieder draagt ze op de handen
Wie gaat niet op Ajax prat
Hup Ajax Hup, Rood - Witte schare
Dapp`re strijders fier en koen
Geen club die ons kan evenaren..
Rood en wit word kampioen!
Hup Ajax hup, Rood - Witte schare
Dapp're strijders fier en koen
Een roep die geldt, dat is je ware
Rood en Wit wordt kampioen
Hup Ajax Hup, Rood - Witte schare
Dapp`re strijders fier en koen
Geen club die ons kan evenaren..
Rood en wit word kampioen!

Ik neem volgende keer geen stroop wafels (of bananen snoepjes ) mee voor je Potverdikke!!

[M.Solymossy]

57/ guys are very cute

I read that, and I began to wonder....


Then I read this, and it all came clear

I'm awaiting the day he finally comes clean and just admits it...

[Marske]

@Soly,
You're so Gay (which explains the GWS "Gay with Soly" posts some have made in the past) only you would make that link.... I can't say a thing about Dutch guys, but the girls are just wickedly hot!

[Prospero]

94.  You've had raw herring at a stand on the beach. 

I just remembered that last night.  First day we were there we took a walk on the boardwalk and saw people lining up for raw herring.  For somebody who wouldn't touch sushi, it was a bit much, especially when they told me that if you didn't swallow it with the scales going down the right way, you'd scratch your esophagus the whole way down...

En wanneer ik gaan naar Tilburg, je moet mij nemen naar een winkel waar ik mag kopen banaan snoepjes.  Ik kan zij niet vinden hier. 

My sister swears she has found stroop wafels in Cleveland.  I'll believe it when I see it.  And I'd rather she found spekulaas.

[yangtime]

My sister swears she has found stroop wafels in Cleveland.  I'll believe it when I see it.  And I'd rather she found spekulaas.

Really?!  Can you find out details as to where?  When Marske visited Philly, I got the chance to try a piece of one and it was delicious.  I'd love to be able to find them in Cleveland.  I'm sure that Twaun would also appreciate knowing the location of the local Stroopwafel dispensary.  I'm hoping she wasn't referring to the Caramel Cookie Waffles from Trader Joe's.

[Marske]

@Yangtime, Prospero,
I see I've infected some of you with a Stroop wafel craving... my job here is done .

@Nick,
When you visit here I'll notify the stores to have extra stock of Spekulaas en Bananen snoepjes

[Duncan]

Watskeburt in deze thread?

72/ You wait for the light to go green before crossing the street, even if there is no car

Then you've never been in Amsterdam obviously..

All this talk about stroopwafels! So when I come to Hamilton this fall (and probably the US during Christmas/Newyear/januari) all I need is a few packs of stroopwafels to get me everything I need? I think I can bring about 50 kilo's with me so that should be fine!

Also, Nick/Rich, when were you guys in Holland? You should definately let me know next time!

Oh.. en al dat gepraat over Ajax en Feyenoord, wordt eerst maar weer eens kampioen, dan praten we verder. AZ ftw.

[Odd mutation]

Oh.. en al dat gepraat over Ajax en Feyenoord, wordt eerst maar weer eens kampioen, dan praten we verder. AZ ftw.

Euhm: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aip78aVBy9s !  

Robrecht

[Cyberpunker]

You actually start using the word "handy" to describe useful things. 

[Prospero]

My sister swears she has found stroop wafels in Cleveland.  I'll believe it when I see it.  And I'd rather she found spekulaas.

Really?!  Can you find out details as to where?  When Marske visited Philly, I got the chance to try a piece of one and it was delicious.  I'd love to be able to find them in Cleveland.  I'm sure that Twaun would also appreciate knowing the location of the local Stroopwafel dispensary.  I'm hoping she wasn't referring to the Caramel Cookie Waffles from Trader Joe's.

Yes, I'll find out where she got them from.  They're authentic as far as I know.

[bb-g]

AJAX ????????













dat is een wasprodukt!

[Ozymandias]

95./A Even if you've never lost a bike before, every German has stolen yours.

[Tobi]

96. You get used to never be soccer world champion 

Btw a funny thing about the Netherlands is that you don't get one or two Euro Cents change back in supermarkets or whereever. Say you bought something that costs 99 cents and give one Euro, they just don't give you the one cent back. Is that common in the Netherlands? At least it was where I was a few years ago (Zeeland).
In Germany you always get your Cent. People would be upset if this cent was held back.

[McDutch]

96. You get used to never be soccer world champion 

Btw a funny thing about the Netherlands is that you don't get one or two Euro Cents change back in supermarkets or whereever. Say you bought something that costs 99 cents and give one Euro, they just don't give you the one cent back. Is that common in the Netherlands? At least it was where I was a few years ago (Zeeland).
In Germany you always get your Cent. People would be upset if this cent was held back.

They'll give you back one/two eurocents change at Aldi [German chain of supermarkets iirc] but stores like Super de Boer and Albert Heijn won't do this.. They'll round up the amount there.. I think that's because it's really annoying when there's someone counting out like.. 76 cents in 1/2/5 eurocent coins.

It just takes some getting used to, I guess

[Tobi]

Actually I really like they way they do it. I hate handling 1-5 cent pieces.
Getting one cent change back is pointless anyways.

On the other hand, I never found myself not taking this one cent change in the supermarket. This might be a awesome experience  got to try it right away!

[Twaun007]

My sister swears she has found stroop wafels in Cleveland.  I'll believe it when I see it.  And I'd rather she found spekulaas.

Really?!  Can you find out details as to where?  When Marske visited Philly, I got the chance to try a piece of one and it was delicious.  I'd love to be able to find them in Cleveland.  I'm sure that Twaun would also appreciate knowing the location of the local Stroopwafel dispensary.  I'm hoping she wasn't referring to the Caramel Cookie Waffles from Trader Joe's.

Yes, I'll find out where she got them from.  They're authentic as far as I know.

I'd watch Yangtime do jumping jacks in his kilt for a pack of stroop wafels, but more importantly...... you have a sister in Cleveland?

[Prospero]

My sister swears she has found stroop wafels in Cleveland.  I'll believe it when I see it.  And I'd rather she found spekulaas.

Really?!  Can you find out details as to where?  When Marske visited Philly, I got the chance to try a piece of one and it was delicious.  I'd love to be able to find them in Cleveland.  I'm sure that Twaun would also appreciate knowing the location of the local Stroopwafel dispensary.  I'm hoping she wasn't referring to the Caramel Cookie Waffles from Trader Joe's.

Yes, I'll find out where she got them from.  They're authentic as far as I know.

I'd watch Yangtime do jumping jacks in his kilt for a pack of stroop wafels, but more importantly...... you have a sister in Cleveland?

I do.  I'm going to be flying out to Cleveland towards the end of July, the week before GP Columbus to visit her.  I don't know what my schedule is going to look like, as there are things that are already planned, and I didn't really intend on playing cards, but if there's a place to go, I might drop by and get some games in. 

- The Stroopwafels are at a store called "World Market" in Cleveland.  

[yangtime]

- The Stroopwafels are at a store called "World Market" in Cleveland. 

I'll be heading to World Market tonight.  We shall see.  Oh, we shall see.

As for your planned visit to Cleveland, you should definitely give us a holler.  I'll buy the first round of drinks.