Bullying in the Magic Community

[Twaun007]

Back on task, the best way to deter a bully is to hit them with the same action they're being hit with.  "Fight fire with fire" etc.  

A violent bully starts hitting people, hit him back.   If he starts talking shit, talk shit back.  Bottom line, don't take it.

Oh sure..... I'm positive that this guy or this guy would understand.

[rpf5029]

For what it's worth, whenever "Rather be lucky than good" comes out of my mouth, it's usually because I have just luck-sacked my opponent cold.  How do people feel about this?  If I just won a completely lopsided game, and I realize that I just top-decked like a champion or had a completely busted 7, is it somehow insulting to my opponent if I say that I'd rather be lucky than good? 

Just curious. 

[Samoht]

For what it's worth, whenever "Rather be lucky than good" comes out of my mouth, it's usually because I have just luck-sacked my opponent cold.  How do people feel about this?  If I just won a completely lopsided game, and I realize that I just top-decked like a champion or had a completely busted 7, is it somehow insulting to my opponent if I say that I'd rather be lucky than good? 

Just curious. 

If you win and say it, it's a bit different. It all comes down to tonality and demeanor. You're not one to give offense Ryan, so I doubt anyone took any. I've certainly bristled at disappointing losses before, and though it's something I fight to correct I wager I'm still not the best at taking them.

[iamfishman]

I would like to use this forum to offer a public apology to Michael Bauer.  I can think back to an event where I certainly stepped over the line of friendly ribbing to bullying.  I will admit that as someone who wasn't Mr. Popular back in high school, I still 15 years later sometimes incorrectly feel better about myself by making jokes about others.  It doesn't make it okay, so to Mike and other people for whom my joking nature has gone over the top, for what it is worth, I'm genuinely sorry.

[Prospero]

I would like to use this forum to offer a public apology to Michael Bauer.  I can think back to an event where I certainly stepped over the line of friendly ribbing to bullying.  I will admit that as someone who wasn't Mr. Popular back in high school, I still 15 years later sometimes incorrectly feel better about myself by making jokes about others.  It doesn't make it okay, so to Mike and other people for whom my joking nature has gone over the top, for what it is worth, I'm genuinely sorry.

Ray, it takes a hell of a man to do what you just did.  You're one of the good guys in my book.

[Mr Channel Fireball]

Well said. I think every MtG community, not just the vintage, could stand to learn from these lessons. I especially like how you ended with the Ghandi/Obama quote. You should write more often; you have a powerful voice. 

[MaximumCDawg]

Now, I agree with your sentiment entirely, Prospero.  However, some of what you are calling "bullying" may be simply the community reacting to someone who is doing something everyone knows is inappropriate (not bathing, not wearing pants that cover their plumber's crack, acting like a jerk or a baby) because no one is making them stop.

IPG Rule 4 seems to give judges the authority -- and the duty -- to address all of these kind of concerns.  I completely agree with a judge taking someone aside between rounds to let them know to cool it with the whining or they'll be getting warnings, and maybe a calm explanation for how it interferes with other player's enjoyment of the game.  At the same time, I wish judges would be more strict about policing crap like body odor for the same reason.

If judges cut these kind of things off when they first popped up, then there would be less bullying because the community would not ever reach the point where people get annoyed and start making comments.  At least, that's the theory.  In the absence of a judge warning someone they are not supposed to show their rear end to the twelve year old player sitting behind them, what realistically do you expect to happen?

EDIT: For sportsmanship in actual matches, I think the key is to be Bad At Magic, like me.  Then you never have to get attitude about anything - just laugh as you punt another match and spiral uncontrollably into the loser's bracket like Snoopy in his Sopwith camel.

[PDM]

Having your buttcrack hang out in public is never, ever, ever, ever acceptable. This isn't bullying of fat people, this is the average person getting bullied by someone pompous enough to let their buttcrack hang out in public. Its completely offensive, crude, and should be pointed out as disgusting behavior.

I completely agree with the other sentiments.

[Smmenen]

Having one's buttcrack visible when sitting down and appropriately dressed is not intentional behavior.  I disagree with what you just said.  Pointing it out as disgusting behavior is not a proportionate response, any more than doing so when someone has their fly open.  The appropriate response is to politely inform that person. 

[PDM]

Well, sir, should I ever see you at a tournament with your buttcrack blissfully and brazenly bombarding my field of view I shall respectfully drop a dime into it as a means of informing you.

[AmbivalentDuck]

Having one's buttcrack visible when sitting down and appropriately dressed is not intentional behavior.  I disagree with what you just said.  Pointing it out as disgusting behavior is not a proportionate response, any more than doing so when someone has their fly open.  The appropriate response is to politely inform that person.

I'm not sure what your area of law is, but is plumber's crack photography legally different from getting a picture up a woman's skirt? Both rely on unintentional exposure.

Well, sir, should I ever see you at a tournament with your buttcrack blissfully and brazenly bombarding my field of view I shall respectfully drop a dime into it as a means of informing you.

Never thought I'd say this, but here's hoping you do that to Soly by mistake.

[Prospero]

Enough.