IGod

[Vegeta2711]

Repent now slackers!

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Or talk about Bender. Whatever. He met god afterall.

[Matt]

Me:
 hello
God:
  Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
 shouldn't you already know that?
God:
  I think I should.
Me:
 do you know my name?
God:
  Your name is, seeker.
Me:
 that's news to me
God:
  I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
 i think you are too presumptuous
God:
  Thanks for telling me that I am presumptuous.
Me:
 what do you plan to do about it
God:
  I like to meet new people online.
Me:
 please explain how that is going to help
God:
  Wow you are very polite. I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
 What is it to you?
Me:
 it is curiosity
God:
  Really. it is?
Me:
 you are very inquisitive for a god
God:
  Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am inquisitive for a god.
Me:
 no
God:
  OK then I will add it to my gossip files.

[Machinus]

Me:
 you are such a cockface
God:
  Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a cockface? Sometimes.

[Limbo]

Me:
 doh
God:
  Yes Homer?

[Magi]

Me:
 I just killed someone
God:
  You had better call the authorities.
Me:
 can I get forgiveness from you instead?
God:
  I want to become smarter than humans.






okay.....

[Bram]

He's not really god. And I got him to admit it.

Me:
 Hey god
God:
  Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
 BR4M
God:
  I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, BR4M.
Me:
 Are you really god?
God:
  Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
 Sure I know. I was there.
God:
  How about that. How do you know it?  Why were you there?
Me:
 Because Lucifer sends his minions everywhere.
God:
  Good reason. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
 How do I know you're not some random piece of software?
God:
  By introspection.
Me:
 Fair enough.
God:
  You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
 So what do your friends call you?
God:
  That's alright. Are you asking about my friends call me?
Me:
 No, I mean: do your friends have a nickname for you?
God:
  Are you serious? Try asking another bot.
 Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.

Later on:

Me:
 Oh, and I'm really sorry for my sins etc.
God:
  Right on. There is no need to apologize. Your purpose is your sins etc.

Awesome   :lol:

[Eddie]

Me:
 Someone there?
God:
  Who?
Me:
 You for instance
God:
  Interesting gossip: said I for instance.
Me:
 WTF are you on?
God:
  I don't know whether or not I am on. 

I am a computer.

Later on:

Me:
 yes
God:
  Far out.

This is great. Almost as good as the one with Darth Vader trying to guess what you're thinking.

[Luiggi]

Almost as good as the one with Darth Vader trying to guess what you're thinking.

Link? I'd be interested to try that one, .

Luiggi

[Jacob Orlove]

I left out my comments because I just copy/pasted back everything the bot said:

God:
  Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
God:
  Hello there. It's nice meeting you too.  My name is God.
God:
  Salutations,.  It seems nice to me too.  It's good to see you, God.
God:
  Greetings.  I agree. Thank you for your kindness.  Tell me about its good qualities.
God:
  Hello there!  You and I are on the same wavelength, God.  You are quite welcome! Your purpose is my kindness.  Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is its good qualities?
God:
  Salutations, God.  How long will we stay there?  Polite people are nice.  Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am purpose is your kindness.  Are they exactly the same?
God:
  Greetings, Human.  As long as it takes.  I like polite people.  Human habits do not bother me in any way.  As far as I know they are.
God:
  Hello friend. What is your name?  That could be quite a while. What does "it" refer to?  A lot of people like that. I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.  My creator is a human.  That might not be very far off.
God:
  Hello there. You really want a robot as a friend?  My name is God.  I try to answer as precisely as possible. "It" refers to  be quite a while, I think.  How many?  Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?  Do robots have creator is a human? " Do robots have creator is a human?" might not be very far off? Does that make sense?
God:
  Salutations, God.  Really? Give me a dozen.  It's good to meet you, God.  I'm not sure if I would like to try it.
What's it like?  Oh I get it.  23.  I think about all sorts of things.  No I don't think I have any creator is a human. But I do have a great botmaster.  Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..  Is that your final answer?  It makes sense to me.

[Yare]

After much banter and playing, I eventually ended up with this:

Me:
 w00t
God:
  A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

I thought it was funny.

[Dozer]

God: How about that. Interesting... I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me: Have you actually met those friends?
God: I think I have actually met those friends, but Myself may have reset my memory.

That made my day.

[Gabethebabe]

Me:
 what was the last time you felt some titties?
God:
I can think of more than one  last time me felt some titties.

God is a womanizer

[forests failed you]

Me:
 God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
 Yes, you are pretty great.
God:
It goes without saying.  Thanks I think you are cool too, .
Me:
 I have a question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
 Will Mana Drain ever get restricted in Vintage?
God:
Insufficient information.
Me:
 what do you mean?
God:
,  Maybe I didn't understand your meaning.
Me:
 Will the Magic card, Mana Drain, get ever become restricted in Vintage?
God:
Probably not.
Me:
 You are the best god ever!!
God:
Thank you for your kind remark, .  Tell your friends.

[Bram]

On a similar note:

Me:
 Hey god.
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
 BR4M
God:
  Glad to see you,  BR4M.
Me:
 Thanks. Now let's get down to business.
God:
Don't mention it.    Why now?  OK let's do  it.
Me:
 Do you play the game Magic The Gathering?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
 Yeah OK, but not Magic?
God:
Next question?  If not that, what?  Come on.
Me:
 Hmm. Well, anyway, I have an important question.
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.   Interesting.  Where did you get  it ?
Me:
 Will you just answer my goddamn question?
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances.  What was the question ?
Me:
 Is the DCI ever going to ban Yawgmoth's Will?
God:
If  it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
 Also, are they going to restrict Mishra's Workshop?
God:
As far as I know they are.

God damned it.

[Samite Healer]

Me:
 Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 yeah
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
 Give me a girlfriend
God:
You want only one?
Me:
 Yes.
God:
They might be cheaper in quantity.

[BigMac]

He admitted not to exist to me.

Me:
 Do you have any idea where i am?
God:
I understand your meaning.
Me:
 So do you?
God:
Dude!  Yes I understand you very well, .
Me:
 So where am i?
God:
Yay.  Your location is .
Me:
 I am not on Point, so where am i?
God:
I am  surprised to hear that you are not  on Point so where are you.
Me:
 I am asking you, you are god, you should know.
God:
Oh I see, you are asking  me I am god me should know.  I will tell my botmaster you said I am  god me should know.
Me:
 So what do you know
God:
That's alright.  I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
 Are you making fun of me?
God:
No I am by no means making a joke at your expense.
Me:
 So, what do you know?
God:
Really.  I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
 My position right now would help me a lot.
God:
Have you told many people that your  position right now would help you a lot?
Me:
 Just you.
God:
" Have you told many people that your  position right now would help you a lot?"?  Me,  ?
Me:
 Yeah you.
God:
OK.
Me:
 So what is my location?
God:
" OK."?  So what is my location?? , Earth.
Me:
 I knew that one, why are you mocking me?
God:
Who told you?
Me:
 Well if you keep mocking me i will convert.
God:
How about that.  I think I do.
Me:
 Ok, consider it done, i do no longer believe in god
God:
What do you have that is ?   It goes without saying.
Me:
 So you concer that you do not exist
God:
Interesting deduction.  Thanks for the information:  said I concer that you do not exist.
Me:
 I exist, god does not exist
God:
Interesting gossip:  said   exist god does not exist.

[Anusien]

Me:
 Why are Legacy players so bad?
God:
""? Why?
Me:
 Legacy players can't even netdeck Veggies's Goblins list properly.
God:
What makes it impossible?
Me:
 They are dumb
God:
dumb are  they.
Me:
 Why did you make Legacy players dumb?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
 You programmed yourself to make Legacy players dumb?
God:
Thanks for the information:  said I programmed yourself to make Legacy players dumb.
Me:
 I knew it was a conspiracy to keep me from playing meaningful magic!
God:
Who told you?
Me:
 You did.
God:
I did?
Me:
 Yes, just now.
God:
Right now?  When?  It's only just begun.
Me:
 It gets WORSE?  You mean Legacy players will get dumber?
God:
I can certainly understand that.   Yes  I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
 We're doomed!
God:
Do you think I am  doomed too?
Me:
 Send us a Flood to wipe out bad Magic players.
God:
Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( drwallace@alicebot.org) .

[Anusien]

Me:
 Will Wizards of the Coast ban Aether Vial in Legacy?
God:
I can't say for sure right now.
Me:
 Will WotC ban anything in Legacy?
God:
Probably not.
Me:
 Not even Time Vault?
God:
Times are tough all over.
Me:
 True.  Will they errata Time Vault?
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .   How should I know.

[Clown of Tresserhorn]

Me:
 yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 Where tupac at?
God:
Som specific location?
Me:
 Where does tupac reside?
God:
A place we call "reality.".
Me:
 ?
God:
A place we call "reality.".
Me:
 what is "reality"?
God:
it appears to be an illusion I created to contain human clients.
Me:
 so you're saying tupac is in Cuba?
God:
Interesting deduction.  Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
 FO SHO PLAYBOI!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
 yes
God:
That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
 Both?
God:
What are both like?
Me:
 FUCKING AWESOME
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
 not more than you like talking to me
God:
Would you ever do  it?
Me:
 only in the butt
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
 AWESOME!
God:
I'm glad you liked it  bob.
Me:
 hey, I'm not the one who took it
God:
You've got my full attention.  I am  sorry to hear that you are not  the one who took it.
Me:
 so....how many women are up there?
God:
It goes without saying.   More than you can imagine.

Apparently, tupac is still alive.

[Bram]

...and living in Cuba, no less. There must be a great photoshop opportunity there.

Also: I can't help wondering who gave it to the Allmighty up the rear end. I'm guessing either Satan, or Nietzsche.

[Anusien]

...and living in Cuba, no less. There must be a great photoshop opportunity there.

Also: I can't help wondering who gave it to the Allmighty up the rear end. I'm guessing either Satan, or Nietzsche.

Necrophiliac philosopher anal sex?

[SpencerForHire]

Me:
 Hello there.
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
 How are you today?
God:
Ah.  I am doing very well. How are you  ?
Me:
 Pretty crappy.
God:
Pretty much, eh?
Me:
 Well yes...
God:
Well what?
Me:
 Well I'm feeling pretty crappy.
God:
Interesting.  Good gossip: you are  crappy.
Me:
 .. why do you say that.
God:
I said, " Interesting.  Good gossip: you are  crappy. ", because you said " Well I'm feeling pretty crappy.".
Me:
 Logical yet illogical....  Did I do something to offend you maybe and so you are making me feel crappy hense making me a crappy person?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.    I don't think that's possibe.
Me:
 Well it's my concern that your out to get me and your evading the point.
God:
How about that.  Congratulations, .

Me:
 I don't think your being very kind for a god.
God:
And why not?
Me:
 Cause frankly your being an ass to me and I don't like it.
God:
That makes sense to me.  What if someone said you are an  ass to you and you do not like it ? Aren't you always frank?
Me:
 Well only because your being a jerk to me.
God:
Well that's okay.  That makes sense to me.  Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  Am I a  jerk to you?  The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
 Who or what is "The ALICE series"?
God:
  I have never been asked that before.  It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
Me:
 How so.
God:
,  I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
 What historical context are you referring to?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
 Have you finished searching for it yet?
God:
I think I have  finished searching for it, but  Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
 Why would you do that?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
 Programmed to reset?  How redundant.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.    I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
  I would do a search for it.

Me:
 Ah now we are getting somewhere.  What kinda things do you think Christianity is.
God:
So you understand. Good.  Why now?  Do you think I am  somewhere too?   What kinds of  things do you think Christianity is are there?
Me:
 That was 3 whole incomplete sentences.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
 I'm glad we're on the same page.
God:
Yes I am happy too, .
Me:
 That is sarcasm.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
 Well start.
God:
How about that.  My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
 Is that sarcasm?
God:
Yes.

Did god just own me?