Vintage Academy

[Komatteru]

Vintage is a format that requires many different skills, some of which you don't really use or develop in other formats.  The transition from, say, Limited to Vintage is as plain as day and night.  Thus, if you were to start a "school" for people to learn how to play better Vintage Magic (sorta like a Hogwarts-type thing), what sort of courses would you offer and who would you want to teach them?

[forests failed you]

I would teach MSLAVER 417; "Maximizing Welder Efficiency."

It would be a class completly devoted to revealing all of the techy, broken, and bizarre tricks and techniques that only really good Slaver players know.

Also, it would count toward a student's upper level "Micro-Managing Mana" credit, since that is what actually makes Welder broken, his uncanny ability to maximize one's Mana.

[Magi]

What an awesome idea.

We could have several faculties:

Playskill: As you advance higher up, you learn archetype specifics until finally you just focus on one deck. There's also a general section where you learn fundamental playskills etc.

Deckbuilding: How to build and test new decks. What works and what doesn't

Ministry of Pimp: This is where you learn how to pimp the fuck out of your decks. Learn the business of magic (knowing the yearly cycle, Ebay and MOTL etc.)

Philosophy: For those really deep philosophical magic discussions.

Maths: Statistics and trends and other things of that nature. Dr. Sylvan would be home here.


Yea. I'm a geek. Hear me roar.

[Revvik]

Hell, I don't even know the yearly cycle.

Deckbuilding could be divided up as such:
- Single-Card Deck Design: where your deck is designed to maximize the effect of a single card or synergistic group of cards
- Single-Strategy Deck Design: You have a plan, now execute it.  Here are the how-tos.

Divide the course in four parts: Control, Combo, Prison, and Aggro.
Control:
Maximizing your Draw Spells (similiar to Kowal's Dailies on SCG) & Draw Engine Basics
Manabase Do's and Don'ts
Finding Your Kill Condition

Combo:
OK, so I have no idea what would be going on in here, but I'm pretty sure it involves JDizzle in a suit & tie and a lot of threats from students about quitting Magic for not having Force of Will.

Prison:
- GOOD lock components and when they're good
- Required: Competent marks in Metagaming courses, at least one Synergies course

Aggro:
- Exploring the Combo Kill
- The Mixed Blessing: Hate Cards
- Fucking Yawgmoth's Will: An 'Essays' Course

There could also be a Fundamentals Of for each course for introductory students, and the Aggro section could be automatically passed via simple exam detailing the combat step.  C'mon, you know you'd fail that.

[xrizzo]

Ministry of Pimp: This is where you learn how to pimp the fuck out of your decks. Learn the business of magic (knowing the yearly cycle, Ebay and MOTL etc.)

Maybe include a periodic table of pimpness... it would be the ultimate guide to what version is most pimp.  Of course, office hours for this course involve a real marketplace to test your new knowledge.

[Machinus]

Vintage redefines all of the concepts used in other formats. A Vintage format course catalog would need to include the more extreme versions of these ideas. I think only someone who has played other formats first could even begin to understand Vintage. So some kind of prerequisite for a Vintage study would be necessary, like older Standard and Extended pro tours.

I think it would be useful to instruct students by demonstrating the evolution of the format. The beginning would be a study of mana accelerants. VIN-102 would be a study of moxes, workshops, drains, and ritual. Examining the way these cards are used as opposed to those other formats would be important.

Then Vintage history can be introduced. Something like VIN-251 would be about questions like "Why can't aggro be competitive? Why did keeper die? Why was gush restricted?" and so on. A course on the evolution of the restricted list would also be important. Make that one VIN-261.

The more advanced the courses get, the more recent decks can be discussed. For example, VIN-379 could be a course on trinisphere and whether or not it's restriction had anything to do with competitive Vintage at all. VIN-411 could be just a course on modern drain decks, and VIN-412 could be about Stax and workshop aggro.

[Dozer]

I'd definitely offer "Mana Bases 101 - Building it right". Follow-up courses would include "Artifact Accelerants", "Basics, Duals, Fetchlands", "Spells and Cantrips" and "Workshop and Welder".

Also, I'd be up for teaching History. "Learning from the Classics" would include the analysis of such hits as 5cGreen, Tradewind Survival, CounterPhoenix and Geeba's Sligh, while "Reliving the Past" would include a detailed analysis and testing of Weissman's original The Deck and as final assignment the re-building of a deck with the current cardpool along the same principles. "Debates of the Past" would cover Keeper vs. Franchise (required: a previous detailed study of Yawgmoth's Will) and maybe Rakso vs. Legend as bonus.

In "Beyond BD", students have to learn a totally outdated forum software, use it without a scrolling wheel on their mouse and can earn their name in brackets if they can present a new Keeper build every two days. Bonus points for all who bring up Neutral Ground or Ankh Sligh. We could bring Azhrei in as a guest speaker, teaching people how to swordfight.

Another course details "From TurboXerox to the restriction of Gush", and "OSE, Holy Tommy Gun and Star Spangled Slaughter -- Dead Ends?" teaches the history of aggro-control. "The Philippino Racoon" has scenic replays of Rakso's best game logs, whereas "The transitional period" honors Zherbus and TMD I. Extra knowledge can be acquired in "Legend, Negator, RandomMiser - Noble Panther and The ICT Debacle".

And of course, the regular guest lecture is "My Deck And Me", held by Rakso.

[mr_rogers]

  I think there should be a class all about the blue cards of Magic.  We could call it Blue: The best color in T1.  The course could include how to play counter spells properly(sine a lot of people play them wrong), a review of the best card drawing spells in type 1, a history of the impact of blue spells on the format, and how to deal with decks running blue when you are not.  I think the class should be taught by Steve Menendian.

[Twaun007]

  If the Vintage Academy schedule was set up as an elementry base school system I would recemend a show and tell period. Perhaps before recess or lunch. We could bring in all are pimp cards and show them off. It would also allow us to tell crazy stories about how we acquired are cards and you could get extra credit for signed cards.
  Another cool option would be field trips to big events such as the Starcity events. All the gamers at the Academy could pile into a bus and head out on the road. The experience would be priceless.
  I don't think my mom would ever fill out the permmission slips though.

[Dozer]

All the gamers at the Academy could pile into a bus and head out on the road.

!!!

We'll only reprint Mana Drain if R&D gets hit by a bus.

I smell possibilities...

[49 Cents]

  I think there should be a class all about the blue cards of Magic.  We could call it Blue: The best color in T1.  The course could include how to play counter spells properly(sine a lot of people play them wrong), a review of the best card drawing spells in type 1, a history of the impact of blue spells on the format, and how to deal with decks running blue when you are not.  I think the class should be taught by Steve Menendian.

I can totally see an autistic Stephen hidden behind a plant in the corner scared as hell of his students..

Seriously, are you writing a column about vintage for beginners or something?

[Machinus]

All the gamers at the Academy could pile into a bus and head out on the road.

!!!

We'll only reprint Mana Drain if R&D gets hit by a bus.

I smell possibilities...

ROFL

[mr_rogers]

I can totally see an autistic Stephen hidden behind a plant in the corner scared as hell of his students..

That would be great.......lol.

[Godder]

CON101 - where the students realise that by the time they've gone through the school, it's all obsolete anyway...

[Samite Healer]

Versatility 201

The theory behind the usefulness of single cards and their interaction/synergy with tutors, combined with silver bullet theory.

[Smmenen]

Where would I fucking begin.... christ. 

[Komatteru]

Where would I fucking begin.... christ. 

At the beginning.  And when you come to the end...stop.

[Moxlotus]

Deck Construction 170-Putting Johnny in his place.

Taught by me.

I am a Johnny.  However, all decks that I dream up independent of my team suck flaccid monkey penis.  Every single one of them.  I would show the class how I think, and show why all of these ideas are terrible.  "This card is cool-would this work?"  NO!!!.  The following questions will be asked of students decks:

"Is this deck better than alternatives?"
"Can the deck do what it is supposed to consistantly?
"Can the deck do what it is supposed to do quickly enough to win?"
"Are there glaring weaknesses in the deck, such as lack of draw engine or a terrible manabase?"

Class is offered in Fall Semester, to accompany the Spring Semester-Deck Construction 171-Listen to Teammates.

[dandan]

Class BITCH02 - Here you learn the basics of how to respond to Wizards restricting anything, printing anything that could be used in Vintage and other things that might cause you to have to change the deck you took 5 years to pimp out.
Class BITCH03 - In this advanced class you will learn that you can also bitch about Wizards not restricting anything, or unrestricting something that nobody is using anyway and for not printing any cards that could be used in Vintage.
Class BITCH04 - Here you forget about anything you said in BITCH02 and 03 in order to bitch about exactly the same things you have long since been proved wrong about but and this is the difficult bit you have to make your bitching relevant and show how previous bitching was merely a metaphor for your current objections to whatever it is that will ruin the format and if they don't understand that, then they are a scrub.
Class BITCH05 - Learn how you can use team Meandeck instead of Wizards if you can no longer blame MaRo for your losing. Go beyond bitching about deck names and show how Vintage is no longer fun because there are good decks out there. Insult Italian decks. Bemoan lack of innovation.

[rvs]

TUTOR&STACK101: How to make the most of your restricted goodies.

[BigMac]

Attackfase001: how tu use it to have your opponent manaburn or you use your mana drain mana. And oh yeah, last minute how you attack to damage your opponent, should be on the side somewhere.

[orgcandman]

Why not just:

Timing 101 - Learning timing rules, and how to use them, and more importantly, how to think about when the optimal time to play spells occurs.

[PucktheCat]

PLSK 369  Library Manipulation: From Brainstorm to Gifts Ungiven
Surveys modern Control and Control-Combo's deck manipulation options with an emphasis on correct play decisions.  Considers the relationship between draw spells and tutors extensively, with particular focus on Brainstorm.  Also considers the black tutors, Thirst for Knowledge, Merchant Scroll, and other common and less common search, draw, and tutoring spells.
Prerequisites: PLSK 103  Basic Playskill Issues in T1: Control and Control-Combo
Recommended for previous completion or concurrent enrollment: PLSK 359  Dual/Fetch Manabases: Optimizing Blue Deck Mana Usage

Leo

[Clown of Tresserhorn]

I dunno about anybody else, but I'd REALLY like to take a class on talking shit. Nothin's more fun than a rivalry.

[forests failed you]

"How many times do I have to tell you Timmy;  The combat step is merely a formality that one declares in order to determine during which turn he or she will get Mana Drain mana.  So, the next outburst from you concerning, 'Nantuko Shade beatdown,' will surely earn you an F in this course."

Also, I would be more than happy to teach the "talking shit" class, as I have a knack for it.

[Anusien]

Deckbuilding Topics:
Deckbuilding 101: 4 and more.  This course would cover when you want 4 of a card, and how to add tutoring into card math
Deckbuilding 201: 3 and 2-ofs.  How to determine when you want 2 or 3 of a card.  You'd have to take basics of playtesting and intro to statistics first.
Deckbuilding 250: Land manabases: How to get the right amount of each land in your deck.
Deckbuilding 301: Singleton and Restricted Cards: Yes, one card can make the difference.  This would also start to talk about the toolbox and it's effect with cards like Survival of the Fittest and Enlightened Tutor
Deckbuilding 350: None at all: Cross-listed with a sideboarding class.  You'd talk about Wishboards, what sort of hate cards to put into the sideboard and what into the main.

Drain 101: Drain decks of old, and learning to play Keeper through BBS.  Highlights include remembering to use mana drain mana
Drain 201: Introduction to Control Slaver and Gifts Ungiven.  Highlights include optimizing which main phase you're in to use and avoid Mana Drain properly
Drain 230: Mana Drain as an accelerant.  When and what you should Drain or Counter.  This course answers the question: Do you Drain irrelevant cards for the mana boost?

Etiquette 101: How to shut up and not be an asshole barn
Etiquette 201: Playing properly in a match
Etiquette 301: Proper conduct online and in a message board
Etiquette 401: So you want to be a hull?

[Polynomial P]

Fine Arts Requirements:

Fine Art 101: The Art of the Mulligan   
When is 6 cards better than 7? How many time can you mulligan? You will learn how to mulligan properly, when to stop mulliganing, and learn when to rely on that topdeck.

Fine Art 202: The Art of Metagaming   
You will learn how to choose proper decks to beat the current environment. You will also learn about metagame spots in the maindeck, which cards are most effective at this and how to prepare for a unfocused metagame.

Fine Art 303: The Art of Sideboarding   
You will learn what cards to take out and what cards to bring in. You will also learn to properly build your sideboard that supports your deck choice.


I think these three arts are poorly understood by most Type I players and these skills can separate a good player from a great one. I would definetly sign up for those classes.

[Baron.Pocket]

One of the most important thing is to teach the rules! From the less complex rules to a high "full-stacked" Stack resolving. Priorities, etc.. Once a player fully masterises the rules, then you teach the other lessons mentionned above! 

[Komatteru]

Also, I would be more than happy to teach the "talking shit" class, as I have a knack for it.

I'm still better at it than you.

[NCM]

Sanitation 101:  How to not smell like ass.  This includes the fine arts of showering and using such highly advanced, cutting-edge, scientific devices as soap, deodorant, breath mints, and car air fresheners (and I don't mean in your car).  Failing students will be dumped in a New Jersey landfill with all the other vile odors of the world.  If we can still smell them from there, they will be sent into space and detonated (though this will have to be carefully done so that the chemical reaction does not accidentally dlow up a small planet or something).

EDIT:  Did anyone else think that because JDizzle started this thread that it was about some new build of Neo-Academy?