What's the weirdest thing you've done with a card?

[Bram]

So, as a joke, I stole one of his mountains and ate it.

Hah! I knew I wasn't the only one.

[sean1i0]

Well I think the only thing I've ever done with them was to use them as ninja stars, but the funniest thing I've ever seen done with a magic card happened around a camp fire:  One of my friends picked up something like 2 forests, lit them on fire, and screamed out, "Look!  It's mana burn!" 

[Evenpence]

I made a gift for my girlfriend with them.

I bought like 400 or 600 or something like that blank gold-boardered cards.

I also went through my friend's ENORMOUS stack of Magic cards and took out commons, and eventually made up a story by cutting the picture section out of the gold-boardered cards, then gluing it on top of a regular Magic card, and writing down stuff on the gold-boardered cards, so that the pictures told a story.

It was seriously a pimp story.  I made it for her for a Christmas present.

Like, it starts off like this:

Once upon a time (newer Jaymaedaye Tome art)
There was a powerful artifact (Moss Diamond art)
And everyone searched for it (Lat-Nam Legacy?)
But it was hidden away from everyone.  (I forget the art).
But there was one who would not stop at anything to get the powerful artifact.  (Douglas Schuler Frozen Shade)
One day, a demon appeared to him and told him how to get to the artifact.  (Douglas Schuler Unsummon)
He sought after the artifact day and night.  (Ice Age Forgotten Lore?)
And he eventually found it!  (Uhh...Nantuko Disciple?  He looks like Frozen Shade and has weird green stuff above him).

Okay, I'm not going to write out absolutely everything that happened, because I can't remember it all, so here's the basic premise behind it:

He used his powers for evil.  His name in the book is Al Gore, mainly because my girlfriend and I have jokes about Al Gore, and, I got to use his name as Al O. Gore's...  Which is Allegory, lol.

Anyway, he dominates all these things, then looks as if nothing can stop him (I have the picture for Smoke here, it's really cool).

The guy sends the world into chaos.  So, he sends the world into a horrible Ice Age. (Word of Command, or whatever the blue spell is from Ice Age).

So, there's only one person who can stop him.  It's me!  My title is, "Colby the Great, from the Land of Awesome."  I think, anyway.  I did this like a year ago.  The picture for that is knighthood I think.  I don't even know.  I forget what my picture is too.  I have funny pictures in here.

Anyway, he's sent on a quest to go find this magical sword and destroy it (disenchant) so that the world can be free from this Ice Age.  (Yeah, the plot isn't optimal, but you try to do freaking better with Magic Cards and a limited pool of commons as well).

So I eventually find it, and destroy it, and return home victorious (Knight of the Hokey-Pokey).  Then I become a farmer and grow a beard (Swords to Plowshares).

But now, Al Gore gets really P.O.ed and has all these magical fire powers now.  As if an ice age wasn't bad enough, now he's actually destroying things the other way around.  So I got stuff like Flame Wave.  There are some really funny jokes in this section.  So we've got our villian.

Meanwhile, in the wake of his wrath, there was a young woman who lived in the land of lovely.  Obviously, it's my girlfriend.  She looks more like Douglas Schuler's Benalish Hero than anything else, so that's the picture she got.  She gets backhanded by Al Gore's skeleton army (the democrats), so vows to destroy him and his evilness.  She trains in magic but it doesn't go so well at first (rebound), but she eventually gets to be really magical (eternal witness), etc.

She also gets the angels to bless her and stuff.  The angels also have a war with Al Gore's army, but Al Gore's Army wins.  (Expunge?  The picture where all the angels are dying).  I also have alot of angels leading up to this.  The angels also give her a special angel drink (Uhh, angelic blessing to feroz ban).

So, they team up to fight this guy.  This is where the Gerrard's Tempest cards come in (remember, I grew a beard in Swords to Plowshares picture).  So we board his ship, and we go to fight him, but he's gone! (The unblockable cloak from weatherlight - he was always pictured in a shadowy cloak before, but now he looks like a guy or something).  So they board the ship, and I basically just go through the storyline with edits.

My girlfriend also becomes an angel by drinking the angel juice that was given to her (remember feroz ban?), (divine transformation), so then Al Gore and her are fighting while I'm trying to get back aboard the ship, but Al Gore kills her just as I get there (Death Stroke?), so we go into a "Maniacal Rage", and I eventually break the moss diamond (Saga Duress into Purge), and Al Gore is toast, but Al Gore kills my girlfriend while this is going on, so I have give her a potion to get her back to life.

So, I have to look for a card that has me nursing her back to life.  What do I find that fits the story?  MURDEROUS BETRAYAL.  Okay, looks close enough.

So, then we have a sweet card from Ice Age where it's a guy and a girl standing next to each other triumphantly (white creature, I think).  That's how I end it.

All in all, it was a pretty sweet story, and definitely the weirdest thing I've ever done with cards.  I should get some scans.

[Bram]

You just won this, even though it wasn't a contest.

[Liam-K]

the marijuana scale is definitely the best!

My thoughts exactly.  There's only one reason you'd be measuring out a half-quarter on a shitty scale regularly, and it is green.  Nostalgia is awesome.

[chrissss]

1) To make a filter for a J, but the paper is too thick for that, so it wasn't the best idea.

2) My dog eating ( or at least ripping the card into 10 pieces) my French Spiritmonger ( so happy he took the French one )

3) Using tip-ex on cards, and adding nice flavor texts to match the drawings. ( I have got some pretty funny ones) (number 1 and 3 were related)

4) Using a card to scratch my mosquito bite.

this one is funny:

I printed out a mox ruby; and it was a pretty HQ quality print. I took my friends ruby, and told him to beg on his knees, and say " O holy lord, give us back the red power''

Obviously he told me to go f**k myself, so I took the fake Ruby( which I glued to a different common) and threw it in the fireplace, and ran to the toilet. This was like 8 years ago, and when your 14 a ruby is worth more than when you have a more stable income.

[Bram]

the marijuana scale is definitely the best!

My thoughts exactly.  There's only one reason you'd be measuring out a half-quarter on a shitty scale regularly, and it is green.  Nostalgia is awesome.

Yeah, but Evenpence used magic cards to score with a chick. That beats marijuana any day of the week (though I agree it's a close call ;-)

[Evenpence]

2) My dog eating ( or at least ripping the card into 10 pieces) my French Spiritmonger ( so happy he took the French one )

HAHAHAHA.  I bet the Spirtmonger didn't even put up a fight.

You just won this, even though it wasn't a contest.

Whoa sweet.

She loved it.  She shows it to everyone, apparently.  I really do need to take scans of the things though, because the jokes in it are pretty funny.

[chrissss]

2) My dog eating ( or at least ripping the card into 10 pieces) my French Spiritmonger ( so happy he took the French one )

HAHAHAHA.  I bet the Spirtmonger didn't even put up a fight.

Well, my dog is a 0/1 puppy with glare powers.

Puppy Glare - 0 : If this creature looks into the eyes of a creature attacking or blocking it, that creature is destroyed and cannot regenerate.

[Evenpence]

The Spiritmonger didn't put up a fight because he was French.  He just surrendered.

[yangtze34]

Hahahahaha.  I knew that one was comin'.

[Darkenslight]

One of the weirdest things I've done with a Magic card came in a Type 2 Ironman match, when I ate an Arcbound Worker with BBQ sauce on.

Yeah, I was young sweet and innocent.  The worker, however, had made a ravager HUGE.

[zeus-online]

How much did the sauce improve the taste of said card?

/Zeus

[Dozer]

After German Nationals, we sat in a hotel room on Sunday night, and at about 3 a.m. we started to fling the Coldsnap cards from the draft out of the open window, one by one. Next morning, I was walking past the hotel with one of the judges (who also had been there), and he's like: "Hey look, Magic cards on the street! Where the helll do those come from?" I looked at him in disbelief and pointed up to the hotel window.

Also, that very night I heard the story (not verified) that someone has learned to throw Magic cards hard enough to knock the plaster off the walls. I'd sure love to see that!

[Mind_under_Matter]

I've got a few dozen extra OWNs, let's find out.

[Twistagain]

Also, that very night I heard the story (not verified) that someone has learned to throw Magic cards hard enough to knock the plaster off the walls. I'd sure love to see that!

Wouldn't doubt that at all. At a local hobby store, there were 2 or 3 people who were good enough to stick them into pegboard from around 6-8 feet. They generally make nice clean cuts, too.

[forests failed you]

Would you eat 6 $100 bills?  gross.