To Bill Copes!

[ELD]

There can be only one.  

TO BILL COPES!

[Prospero]

I support this message and/or service.

[KrauserKrauser]

Only two Bill Copes! Blasphemy!

Two Bill Copes, Four Bill Copes!

Ask not what your Bill Copes can do four Bill Copes, Ask what Bill Copes can do four your Bill Copes!

One Bill Copes,
Two Bill Copes,
Red Bill Copes,
Blue Bill Copes.

From Bill Copes according to their ability, to Bill Copes according to their need.

The Monster that Eight Bill Copes!  Bill Copes!

[ELD]

Only two Bill Copes! Blasphemy!

Two Bill Copes, Four Bill Copes!

Ask not what your Bill Copes can do four Bill Copes, Ask what Bill Copes can do four your Bill Copes!

One Bill Copes,
Two Bill Copes,
Red Bill Copes,
Blue Bill Copes.

[Smmenen]

who is bill copes? 

[quicksilvervii]

who is bill copes?  

http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=42661.0

BtW, who's Bill Copes?

Not knowing who Bill Copes is is a bannable offense. This offense is so severe we had to develop a new color for the moderation text. It is reserved solely for chastising people who do not know/acknowledge the awesomeness of Bill Copes.

[Bill Copes]

who is bill copes? 

I handed you back your play mat after you left it in the bathroom at waterbury two or so years ago.


You didn't thank me.

[quicksilvervii]

who is bill copes? 

I handed you back your play mat after you left it in the bathroom at waterbury two or so years ago.


You didn't thank me.

I lawled.

Also, Happy Birthday.

May the mana be proportionate to your needs.

[Womba]

who is bill copes? 

[The Atog Lord]

who is bill copes? 

I handed you back your play mat after you left it in the bathroom at waterbury two or so years ago.


You didn't thank me.

Bill Copes: Unsung Hero.

[Smmenen]

if someone found and handed me my playmat, I'm pretty sure I said 'thank you' or 'thanks.'  If I truly didn't, let me say so now: thank you.

[brokenbacon]

I met you at the TMD Open last year (whenever the hell that was) and it was far and away the best part of my day.
THANK YOU FOR BEING THE FUCKING MAN, MR. COPES.

[Bibendum]

I shared a smoke break with this gentleman at the first NEV lotus event. good dude!

[TheWhiteDragon]

I just reread the whole previous Bill copes thread...and OMG loled so much.  Thank you Bill Copes for being so awesome you warrant having your own posts.  I am pretty sure TMD was started just because you play magic. 

I think there should be a ressurect of the old Bill Copes thread and more hilarious shit added to it.  Literally made my night.

[voltron00x]

Bill Copes!  I have played this fine gentlemen twice, and both times we shared a beer afterwards.  Vintage needs more like him.






Except, obviously, there can be only one Bill Copes.

[Meddling Mike]

who is bill copes?  

http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=42661.0

BtW, who's Bill Copes?

Not knowing who Bill Copes is is a bannable offense. This offense is so severe we had to develop a new color for the moderation text. It is reserved solely for chastising people who do not know/acknowledge the awesomeness of Bill Copes.

Steve, because you're a VA, I'm willing to let this slide this one time. I recommend that you get yourself up to speed on Bill Copes ASAP. As a lawyer I'm astounded you haven't heard of the many milestone cases in American History involving Bill Copes: Bill Copes v. Board of Education of Topeka, Bill Copes v. Wade and who could forget Plessy v. Bill Copes. As you are well aware, Bill Copes presided over these cases as judge, jury and executioner. Some felt this might be a conflict of interest. They were wrong.

[Bill Copes]

Y'all are way too good to me.  Thanks guys

[cvarosky80]

I've never had the honor of directly meeting Bill Copes, but I have had the distinct privilege of being in the same room as him at a few events, and what I can say, and I'm certain most here will support this, is that being in the same room as Bill Copes is like being in the same room as God and Chuck Norris at the same time. Except Bill Copes can whip both God's and Chuck Norris' asses at the same time, with both of his hands and feet tied together, as well as being blindfolded.

[BC]

Early in my planning for Gencon this year, it looked like there was a possibility that I would be sharing a room with both Bill Copes and Vroman.  It's too bad that didn't work out.  It would have been all...


On a separate note, I did share a room with Bill Copes for one TMD Open.  He took a dump that literally destroyed a bathroom.  There was nothing left but a smoking crater.  Interestingly, his shit does not stink.

[brokenbacon]

Early in my planning for Gencon this year, it looked like there was a possibility that I would be sharing a room with both Bill Copes and Vroman.  It's too bad that didn't work out.  It would have been all...

Easily one of the funniest things I have ever read on this site.

[Prospero]

Early in my planning for Gencon this year, it looked like there was a possibility that I would be sharing a room with both Bill Copes and Vroman.  It's too bad that didn't work out.  It would have been all...

Easily one of the funniest things I have ever read on this site.

You missed this:

Travis, the problem with your terms is this.  In the spirit of reciprocity, I would want to take on your duties and functions for a day if I won.  And honestly, I am genuinely concerned that I might not be up to the task.  And I fear for the fate of the world if it should turn out that I'm not.

Your busy schedule is packed full of vital functions and important services upon which our community depends.  I'm not entirely sure what a day in the life of Travis LaPlante is really like, but I'll paint as vivid a mental picture of my efforts to follow in your footsteps as possible:

I awaken at the bottom of a pile of refuse, empty beer cans, dirty clothes, old pizza boxes, and sticky, soiled Kleenex at the crack of noon.  Dazed, I squint as my vision focuses on the ceiling, the events of the previous evening not quite coming into focus.  I stumble out of bed, and immediately I'm face to face with one of the dozens of calendars posted on the walls throughout the residence.  They're all from the year 2005.  The year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Five.  Philosophers say that death and uncertainty are vital parts of the human condition-- they ensure that we all approach each day with a renewed sense of anticipation and eagerness, because none of us can ever know when the best moment in our lives will come.  Well, dear readers, in taking on the role of Travis LaPlante, I am not most people.  I am not a mere man.  No.  I'm the Juggernaut, bitch.  I know exactly when my life peaked-- it peaked at Waterbury VII.

I allow myself to hold my gaze on the calendar for a wistful second before turning away, the pangs of memory tugging at my heartstrings as like the photograph of a loved one.  The memory of that solitary moment of triumph is the only thing that keeps me going these days.  It's enveloped me like the warm embrace of the summer breeze, as I've made many, many, many a drive home from countless other tournaments, after going 0-2 drop.  

I sigh and set myself to my day's labors.  I tenderly exchange my Girls Gone Wild cap for a tinfoil hat, protecting myself from the sinister machinations of the TMD moderation staff.  Their autocratic plot to overmoderate the website must not be allowed to succeed.  The day an adult conversation can take place on TMD will be the day they pry my keyboard out of my cold, dead hands.  I download the software for another proxy server, whilst scouring my mind for the latest alias that will provide cover for my struggle for freedom against the staff.  ZHERBUSLICKSBALLS?  feinsteinsupportscheaters?  Thirty seconds later, having exhausted my vocabulary, I exclaim, "YOUREEK-HA!" and triumphantly don a disguise that would thwart the acumen of Sherlock Holmes himself-- DASWEATYBALLSLULZ.  I hurl myself upon the gears, upon the levers of the TMD moderation machine.  Smmenen's mother fucked Richard Nixon!  Jeek is a dirty fucker!  And on and on, until the trembles of rage and passion leave my fleshy hands.  

Satisfied that I've fought the good fight against decency and civility for another day, I replace my Girls Gone Wild cap atop my head and choose my wardrobe for the day from the pile of unwashed clothes in the corner.  "Sarcasm is one of the my services I offer"?  "Keep honking, I'm reloading"?  Or the wolf picture?  Hot Topic provides me with so many options.  I elect for the shirt least covered in stains and smudges, and, after much effort, don my sweat pants.  It's off to school.

Along the way, I produce a CD from the fetid pile of half-eaten takeout containers and soda cans in the backseat, looking forward to the latest masterpiece of Dr. Seuss as read on tape.  However, my spirits fall as I remember that my car stereo was long ago jacked in the parking lot of the Hadley Mall.  The CD disappears in the dark gap in the center console where the stereo should have been, along with so many before it.  

As I enter the campus, I catch the eye of a nubile co-ed and lumber over to her, working my romantic magic.  "Hey baby, you see this hat?  If you want some of this, you know what you have to do!"  The acrid kiss of pepper spray is always the same.  She only screams "Help!  HELP!" a few times as she flees for the safety of campus police.  I consider this first meeting a success, and make a note to approach her again in the future.  I clear my eyes and resume my trek to the classroom.

Special education isn't as difficult as the name might suggest.  I have a straight-A average, and teacher tells me that if I behave myself this whole week, a gold star will be added to my chart.  I briefly envision my chart, adorned with a gold star, and smile.  Maybe it would be as sweet as my 1st place finish at Waterbury VII, my reward after a brutal struggle against the unsleeved decks, Landstill control engines, and Sui Black offense of the casual players that pushed attendance at that tournament to record highs.  

How dare Demonic Attorney attempt to compare results with me.  He only has, like, several dozen wins and high finishes in a row.  But those are inferior tournaments.  Hosted only by TO's like Myriad Games.  And ELD.  And Centreville Games.  And Double Midnight.  And The Beanie Exchange, Pandemonium, Hadley, Waterbury, Travis LaPlante, Dave Feinstein, BatterUp, Mykeatog, and Andystok.  How could they possibly compare?  And I'm going to get a gold sta-- wait a second.  That other kid in the football helmet looks like Kowal.  Kowal!  How did he get into the special class?  He used to be a TMD Mod!  Fuck this.  There's a trash barrel on hand, this shit is on!  

It seems my lapse in judgment cost me more than my gold star.  School security escorted me to the edge of campus, telling me I can come back when I can behave myself.  I've heard that before.  Jacob Orlove used that line, and then I came back as ZHERBUSLICKSBALLS and no one was the wiser!  Well, I'll apply my cunning ability for disguise to real life!  They'll never suspect a thing!






...My attempt to sneak back into class was not as successful as I hoped.  Apparently a fake moustache is not as effective a disguise as a TMD alias.  Now I have to take these pills three times a day.  "Behavioral modification," they said.  "Modification"?  "Mod"?!  Fuck, no!  I hurl the pills out the window of the car on my way home, the bottle vanishing among the shadows that creep longer and larger as the twilight hour creeps closer, the advent of nightfall hanging in the air.

I return home and pause on my front lawn, looking up at my girlfriend's bedroom window.  She's walking into the room from the shower-- what luck!  I think to ring her doorbell and say hello, but she's been reticent the last few times we've interacted.  I've decided to fulfill her need for space and my need for, well... with a pair a binoculars.  I sit on my hood, the suspension system of my car creaking out another feeble groan of protest and fix my gaze on her window.  She changes into a tank top, the one she was wearing before we met and she invested in a rape whistle.  She looks down into my driveway, and our eyes meet for a charged instant, my unfettered desire surprising her.  Her jaw drops.  She throws the blinds closed.  

The police arrived soon thereafter.  I'm given another court date.  I smile self-assuredly.  That DA thinks he's so smart.  I've already seen more court time than him, and I haven't even gone to law school!  Well, not as a student.  These "probation fees" are starting to add up, though, and my investment income has been tied up lately.  That nice man from Nigeria told me he'd be able to move a million dollars into my bank account if I just gave him my PIN number.  My balance dropped unexpectedly soon thereafter, but I'm sure he's just covering regulatory costs.  But I need to do something.  

I head down to Foxwoods and empty my pockets.  $516, a condom I bought in 1994, a pack of chewing gum, and a walkman.  I put it all on #2005 in Roulette-- my lucky number.  I'm told the numbers don't go up that high.  Another game that can't keep up with me.  Very well.  Number 25.  I close my eyes and put down my life savings.  The balls rolls slowly onto 25, providing once again that the maxim is true, and Providence protects children and idiots.

IMHO that is the funniest thing that has ever been posted on this site.  

[Bibendum]

Nick, that post is one of the funniest things I have ever seen posted on any forum. DA went above and beyond on that one

[brokenbacon]

@Nick - Yeah don't worry man, I said one of the funniest. I will always remember DA's humor - "The ball rolls slowly onto number 25..." That is the funniest post on the site, for sure.
But back to Mr. Copes.