MWS/Appr Horror Stories

[Darkenslight]

I was testing a B/W Rebels deck in Type 2.  He decides to bring an Extended Tog deck.  No problems until he attempts to attack with Shadowmage and 'Tog:

0:05:49 [..:Ale:..] It is now the Combat Phase, Beginning Of Combat Step
0:05:50 [..:Ale:..] ..:Ale:.. taps Shadowmage Infiltrator
0:05:51 [..:Ale:..] ..:Ale:.. taps Psychatog
0:05:52 [..:Ale:..] It is now the Combat Phase, Declare Attackers Step
0:05:59 [Demona] <Demona> Wait!
0:06:00 [Demona] Demona taps Godless Shrine
0:06:00 [Demona] Demona taps Swamp
0:06:01 [Demona] Demona taps Plains
0:06:03 [Demona] Demona plays Sudden Spoiling from Hand
0:06:09 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> Wait
0:06:20 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> Ok
0:06:26 [Demona] It is now the Combat Phase, Declare Blockers Step
0:06:34 [Demona] It is now the Combat Phase, Combat Damage Step
0:06:37 [Demona] Demona puts Sudden Spoiling to Graveyard from Play
0:06:45 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> In Resp
0:06:54 [..:Ale:..] ..:Ale:.. puts Smother to RFG from Graveyard
0:06:54 [Demona] <Demona> Sudden Spoiling
0:06:56 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> remove
0:07:01 [Demona] <Demona> Can';t
0:07:02 [..:Ale:..] Psychatog is now 2/3
0:07:05 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> yes i can
0:07:07 [Demona] <Demona> nloses all abilities
0:07:12 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> In Resp
0:07:14 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> In Resp
0:07:18 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> ok?
0:07:23 [Demona] <Demona> and you can't respond with 'tog's RFG ability because of Split Second
0:08:02 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> YOU ARE STUPID MAN?
0:08:05 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> IN RESPONDING
0:08:05 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> FUCKER
0:08:08 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> U SUCKS
0:08:11 [..:Ale:..] <..:Ale:..> NOOB
0:08:13 [<System>] <System> Player Lost

[wethepeople]

This is horror story seems to be a continuous problem, for it happens to me just about every day that I sign on to MWS.

(note: I am “DF.”)
<-------- New Game Started -------->
<DF.> hi
DF. rolled a 1, using a 20 sided die
<Ross> hi
Ross rolled a 17, using a 20 sided die
Ross shuffles library [like fifty-seven times]
DF. shuffles library
DF. draws 7 cards
Ross shuffles library [he keeps going]
Ross draws 7 cards
<DF.> keep.
<Ross> kp
<Ross> i will start
<DF.> okay.
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
It is now the Precombat Main Phase
It is now turn 2 (Ross)
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
It is now the Precombat Main Phase
Ross plays Forest from Hand
Ross taps Forest
Ross plays Llanowar Elves from Hand
<Ross> Ok?
<DF.> no.
<DF.> I concede.

Seeing as I come across this situation so often, I actually have made it to the point where
“I concede.” is one of my buttons found in the dialogue box, along with “Ok”, “EOT” etc. Actually, it's not, though, I have considered it.

Even if that is one of the shortest and basic Horror Stories one can imagine, it still gets me just as aggravated as to when someone is breaking the rules, doesn’t know the rules, and so forth.

They should ban Llanowar Elves, not because it is broken, but because it is a complete disgrace to our format. Better yet, it is too-broken, considering that it creates a turn one kill each time that it hits the table. 

[Pave]

I'm beating down and 'Nate' tries a little good ol' sleight of hand!!

Nate puts Meloku the Clouded Mirror to Hand from RFG
Nate's life total is now 3 (-6)
<Pave> um
<Pave> put meloku back pls
<System> Player Lost

 In workstation.  Wow.

[AmbivalentDuck]

AD taps Forbidden Orchard
AD taps Forbidden Orchard
AD puts a 1/1 Spirit token into play
AD duplicates Spirit
Cronos is now the controller of Spirit
Cronos is now the controller of Spirit
AD's life total is now 17 (-2)
<Cronos> Wait!
<AD> Ok?
<Cronos> no
<Cronos> you can't that
<AD> Huh?
<AD> I can't tap my lands and take mana burn?
<Cronos> if you use a magic you can
<AD> Please look that one up too.
<Cronos> ohh boy noob

Earlier, he was also confused about when he got priority to tap them.  He thought he could tap Orchards *before* Oath stacked.

[Yare]

I know it's normally frowned upon to post your entire match, but I felt this time would be an acceptable exception...

It is now turn 1 (Jon)
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
<Jon> hi
Jon rolled a 20, using a 20 sided die
<Yare> hi
<Jon> play
Yare rolled a 3, using a 20 sided die
It is now the Beginning Phase, Upkeep Step
Yare shuffles library
It is now the Beginning Phase, Draw Step
It is now the Precombat Main Phase
Yare shuffles library
Jon draws 7 cards
Yare draws 7 cards
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
<Yare> just take 6
<Jon> not fair
<Jon> with this deck
<Jon> g2
<Opponent is requesting a new game>
Jon shuffles library
<Jon> hi
Jon draws 0 cards
<Yare> ok
<Jon> play
Yare shuffles library
<Yare> I am ready.
Yare draws 0 cards
Jon shuffles library
<-------- New Game Started -------->
Jon's Security Code: 6E4B7D15 [Type 1]
Yare's Security Code: 42C519C4 [Type 1]
It is now turn 1 (Yare)
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
Jon shuffles library
Yare shuffles library
Jon draws 7 cards
Yare draws 7 cards
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
Jon takes a mulligan
<System> Player Lost

Pretty much incredible.  I just wanted to play.

[Tash]

Testing Burn versus.. some Black deck.

Note the order of things.

amoroso taps Swamp
amoroso taps Mishra's Factory
<Tash> Ok
<Tash> pump?
<amoroso> maybe
<Tash> You have to choose to pump or not before I take damage
<amoroso> in response i can pump..
<Tash> No. Once damage is on the stack, you can't pump to make it more
<Tash> It's either before damage, or not at all
amoroso taps Mishra's Factory (Does the target to the first one, thusfore pumping it)
<Tash> resp
Tash taps Mountain
Tash taps Mountain
Tash plays Magma Jet from Hand (Targeting the creature Factory)
Mishra's Factory is now Creature Land
Mishra's Factory is now 3/3
<amoroso> Ok
<Tash> Resp to the pump
<amoroso> that is what i said
<amoroso> i have the resp
<amoroso> to shock..
<Tash> You pumped it
<Tash> I jet it
<amoroso> no
<Tash> because you tapped and targeted the land first
<Tash> read the log o.o
<amoroso> i can pump in resp
amoroso untaps Mishra's Factory
amoroso taps Mishra's Factory
amoroso untaps Mishra's Factory
amoroso taps Mishra's Factory
<amoroso> -3
<Tash> But you pumped it
<Tash> and then I jetted it in response
amoroso untaps Mishra's Factory
<amoroso> i attacked
<amoroso> u shocked
<Tash> no
<amoroso> and i pumped..
<Tash> You attacked
<Tash> Then Pumped
<Tash> And Then I shocked
<amoroso> no
<Tash> Go up and read the log
<amoroso> bad losewr
<amoroso> really bad loser..
amoroso puts a 1/1 noob token into play
Tash is now the controller of noob
<System> Player Lost

...wait. Does the log ever lie? I think not.

Edit: Bolded the conversation. And OOH! My second n00b token. It's a shame I'm not actually a n00b.

[Moxlotus]

I'm roflcopters

Roflcopters plays Shattering Spree from Hand
<Player> nono
<Roflcopters> i tapped 3
<Player> trinisphere
<Player> and u destroy 1
<Roflcopters> 3sphere doesn't affect replicate
<Player> yes
<Roflcopters> w/e
<Roflcopters> 3sphere
<Player> on the spell played
<Roflcopters> i choose 3sphere
Player puts Trinisphere to Graveyard from Play
Roflcopters puts Shattering Spree to Graveyard from Play
<Player> Ok
<Roflcopters> read scg
<Roflcopters> ask the judge
<Roflcopters> i'm right
<Player> no
<Player> i've
<Roflcopters> type in shazttering spree
<Player> 1900
<Player> points
<Player> and 1 know the rule
<Roflcopters> Shattering Spree and Replicate it twice to target all three of these artifacts, will I pay RRR or 2RRR?
<Roflcopters> You will pay three red mana. The mana you pay for the Replicate cost counts towards the total cost of the spell. You paid three mana when playing Shattering Spree, so Trinisphere's ability will not make you pay any more.
<Player> suck my balls
<Roflcopters> this is going on mws funnies page
<Roflcopters> sapphire is dead
<Player> your mother is doing a blowjob
<Roflcopters> ZOMG-0YOU'RE SO FUNNY
<Roflcopters> OMG
<Roflcopters> HOLY SHIT
<Roflcopters> YOU ARE A COMEDIAN
<Roflcopters> YOU SHOULD BE ON TV
<Roflcopters> AND MAKE INFINITE DOLLAR
<Roflcopters> BEING SO FUNNY
<Roflcopters> I WISH I WAS SUCH A WINNER AT LIFE AS YOU ARE
<Roflcopters> YOU ARE MY HERO
<Player> hihihihi
<Player> you are a stupid noob
<Roflcopters> THIS IS WHY NOBODY IN TYEP 1 KNOWS YOUR NAME
<Roflcopters> I'M MOXLOTUS
<Roflcopters> ON SCG AND TMD
<Player> i'm the thitd in italy
<Roflcopters> YOU'RE NOBODY
<Roflcopters> WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE PLAYER
<Player> mammt
<Roflcopters> GG BITCHES


I'm convinced there's like 3 people in Italy who know the rules

[brianpk80]

The most bizarre MWS encounter I have had in months. 
Background: I'm playing Oath Prison and this person is playing Vial Goblins.  I win the match but then she shouts "g4" and so I'm like *sigh* fine, ok.  Most of the gaming dialogue is edited out except where it matters for emphasis.  I included most of the dialogue for flow cause it's hard to say what was a "horror" part and what wasn't. 

0:00:00 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> i hate being the only girl playing magic
0:00:00 [BPK] BPK draws a card
0:00:22 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> hate being the only girl playing magic
0:00:23 [sesshomaru] It is now turn 3 (sesshomaru)
0:00:23 [sesshomaru] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:25 [sesshomaru] AEther Vial now has 1 (+1) counters.
0:00:27 [BPK] <BPK> I heard you
0:00:29 [BPK] <BPK> You're not though
0:00:34 [BPK] <BPK> I know many women and girls who play
0:01:14 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> no cute guys though
0:01:28 [BPK] <BPK> I don't know about that
0:01:29 [BPK] BPK taps Polluted Delta
0:01:30 [BPK] BPK's life total is now 18 (-1)
0:01:32 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> r u cute
0:01:33 [BPK] BPK is looking its Library...
0:01:36 [BPK] BPK puts Tropical Island into play from Library
0:01:39 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> i want to know
0:01:40 [BPK] <BPK> Yes
0:01:49 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> how old  u
0:01:53 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> r u
0:01:54 [BPK] <BPK> 26
0:01:55 [BPK] It is now the End Phase, End Of Turn Step
0:01:56 [BPK] <BPK> End my turn
...
0:02:10 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> want to know my age
0:02:15 [sesshomaru] sesshomaru taps Mountain
0:02:17 [BPK] <BPK> It doesn't matter
0:02:17 [sesshomaru] sesshomaru plays AEther Vial from Hand
0:02:18 [sesshomaru] sesshomaru taps Strip Mine
0:02:26 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> wat u married
0:02:32 [BPK] <BPK> In a relationship for 3 years
...
0:02:44 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> good for you
...
0:02:54 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> some guy actually hit on me
0:02:59 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> what a freak
0:03:00 [BPK] <BPK> I believe it
(while I'm Oathing)
0:03:38 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> u know any cute single guys
(after Oathing)
0:04:05 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> well do u
0:04:12 [BPK] <BPK> Hmmm
0:04:16 [BPK] <BPK> Not really
0:04:20 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> bummer
0:04:23 [BPK] <BPK> Everyone is in a relationship
0:04:26 [BPK] <BPK> Where are you from
0:04:30 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> sac
0:04:32 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> u
0:04:39 [BPK] <BPK> Sacramento?
0:04:42 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> ya
0:04:44 [BPK] <BPK> Ok
0:04:52 [BPK] <BPK> You shouldn't have trouble finding guys in California
0:04:58 [BPK] BPK taps Tropical Island
0:04:58 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> i know
...
0:05:17 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> but i want some one from somwhere else

(Now I bounce all of her only Mountain w. Tyrants by Regrowing Yawgmoth's Will and lay the Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale, so all the Goblins die on upkeep).

0:06:02 [sesshomaru] <sesshomaru> BYE sorry u cant have me
0:06:07 [BPK] <BPK> Ok
0:06:09 [<System>] <System> Player Lost

Since when did MWS become a freaking dating service?  And what the hell gave this girl the idea I was even remotely trying to "have" her.  The dialogue pretty clearly shows disinterest.  She was trying to flirt the whole time and then suddenly played it off like I was devastated I couldn't have her.  Ridiculous.  Never saw anything like it before. 

-BPK

(Edit: Formant Error)

[technogeek5000]

I was playing mono black sui in legacy and played the following game.

0:00:00 [Technogeek5000] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:01 [Technogeek5000] Technogeek5000 shuffles library
0:00:05 [Technogeek5000] <Technogeek5000> hi
0:00:08 [Technogeek5000] Technogeek5000 rolled a 7, using a 20 sided die
0:00:09 [Leonid] Leonid shuffles library
0:00:11 [Leonid] Leonid shuffles library
0:00:11 [Leonid] <Leonid> HiHo!
0:00:11 [Leonid] Leonid shuffles library
0:00:12 [Leonid] Leonid rolled a 6, using a 20 sided die
0:00:14 [Technogeek5000] <Technogeek5000> p
0:00:15 [Leonid] Leonid draws 7 cards
0:00:18 [Technogeek5000] Technogeek5000 draws 7 cards
0:00:21 [Leonid] Leonid plays Battlegrowth from Hand
0:00:21 [Leonid] Leonid plays Battlegrowth from Hand
0:00:21 [Leonid] Leonid plays Arcbound Overseer from Hand
0:00:21 [Leonid] Leonid plays Fangren Firstborn from Hand
0:00:21 [Leonid] Leonid plays Arcbound Worker from Hand
0:00:21 [Leonid] Leonid plays Arcbound Worker from Hand
0:00:21 [Leonid] Leonid plays Sylvan Scrying from Hand
0:00:25 [Leonid] Leonid puts a Battlegrowth on top of Library from Play
0:00:25 [Leonid] Leonid puts a Battlegrowth on top of Library from Play
0:00:25 [Leonid] Leonid puts a Arcbound Overseer on top of Library from Play
0:00:25 [Leonid] Leonid puts a Fangren Firstborn on top of Library from Play
0:00:25 [Leonid] Leonid puts a Arcbound Worker on top of Library from Play
0:00:25 [Leonid] Leonid puts a Arcbound Worker on top of Library from Play
0:00:25 [Leonid] Leonid puts a Sylvan Scrying on top of Library from Play
0:00:25 [Leonid] Leonid shuffles library
0:00:26 [Leonid] Leonid shuffles library
0:00:27 [Leonid] Leonid shuffles library
0:00:28 [Leonid] Leonid shuffles library
0:00:30 [Leonid] Leonid draws 7 cards
0:00:33 [Technogeek5000] <Technogeek5000> you can mulligan
0:00:40 [Leonid] <Leonid> y but 7 cards
0:00:41 [Technogeek5000] <Technogeek5000> its under action
0:00:49 [Technogeek5000] <Technogeek5000> ?
0:00:51 [Leonid] <Leonid> y or ctrl+m i know -.-
0:01:00 [Technogeek5000] <Technogeek5000> why did you shuffle hand away
0:01:05 [Technogeek5000] <Technogeek5000> and draw 7
0:01:05 [Leonid] <Leonid> when u havent mana u reveal ur cards and u can take mulligan with 7 cards
0:01:09 [Technogeek5000] <Technogeek5000> no
0:01:14 [Leonid] <Leonid> sure -.-
0:01:17 [Technogeek5000] <Technogeek5000> that rule was taken away a while ago
0:01:26 [Leonid] <Leonid> really ?
0:01:28 [Technogeek5000] <Technogeek5000> yes
0:01:33 [Leonid] <Leonid> ah ok ,
0:01:39 [Leonid] <Leonid> SO FUCK YOU!
0:01:42 [<System>] <System> Player Lost

[Tash]

I'm playing Solitare, he's playing Burn, and when I'm sitting at 3, I get the Squee/Confinement lock.

<fog> Thinking
<fog> do u remember
<fog> that
<fog> in magic
<fog> if
<fog> there are same
<fog> move
<fog> for
<fog> a
<fog> lot
<fog> the
<fog> game
<fog> is
<fog> finished?
<fog>
<fog> End my turn
<Tash> No, it's not a draw. You lose because you can't break my lock and will draw out before me
It is now turn 16 (Tash)
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
Tash untaps his/her permanents
It is now the Beginning Phase, Upkeep Step
Tash puts Squee, Goblin Nabob into play from Graveyard
Tash puts Squee, Goblin Nabob to Hand from Play
Tash plays Squee, Goblin Nabob from Hand
Tash puts Squee, Goblin Nabob to Graveyard from Play
It is now the Precombat Main Phase
<Tash> Pass Turn
It is now turn 17 (fog)
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
fog untaps his/her permanents
It is now the Beginning Phase, Upkeep Step
It is now the Beginning Phase, Draw Step
fog draws a card
It is now the Precombat Main Phase
<fog> End my turn
It is now turn 18 (Tash)
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
Tash untaps his/her permanents
It is now the Beginning Phase, Upkeep Step
Tash puts Squee, Goblin Nabob into play from Graveyard
Tash puts Squee, Goblin Nabob to Hand from Play
Tash plays Squee, Goblin Nabob from Hand
Tash puts Squee, Goblin Nabob to Graveyard from Play
It is now the Precombat Main Phase
<Tash> Pass Turn
<fog> no is a draw and u not remember the rules nooob!!!! mother fuck you
<System> Player Lost

[Moxlotus]

This is seriously epic

<Moxlotus> after damage on the stack
Moxlotus puts Myr Servitor to Graveyard from Play
Arcbound Ravager now has 2 (+1) counters.
<frgrdsr> you cant sacrifice a creature if he's on his way to the graveyard
<Moxlotus> damage is on the stack
<frgrdsr> basic rules
<Moxlotus> do you know how the stack works?
<frgrdsr> yes yes
<Moxlotus> the damage is on the stack
<Moxlotus> then i sack
<frgrdsr> it's a basic rule
<frgrdsr> you cannot sacrifice if a creature is on his way to the grave
<frgrdsr> basics man
<Moxlotus> you said you knew how the stack worked
<Moxlotus> its not hard
<Moxlotus> the damge is on the stack
<Moxlotus> before the damage resolves, i sack him
<frgrdsr> does not a rule of magic the gathering itself defy that stack?
<frgrdsr> ?
<Moxlotus> the stack is the entire concept here
<Moxlotus> this is going on starcitygames mws funnies page
<frgrdsr> regardless
<frgrdsr> regardless, it is a basic rule my friend
<Moxlotus> if i lightning bolt a creature, can you respond with giant growth to save it?
<frgrdsr> yes
<Moxlotus> same concept
<frgrdsr> no
<Moxlotus> before damage resolves
<Moxlotus> effect takes place
<frgrdsr> if you block a creature, can he be sacrificed right away?
<frgrdsr> no
<Moxlotus> actually, yes he can
It is now the Combat Phase, Declare Blockers Step
It is now the Combat Phase, Combat Damage Step
<frgrdsr> basic crap man
<Moxlotus> hence the combat phase damage step
<Moxlotus> just click the button and read
It is now the Combat Phase, End Of Combat Step
It is now the Combat Phase, Combat Damage Step
<Moxlotus> "players may play spells and abilityies in response before the damage would resolve"
<frgrdsr> generic
<Moxlotus> then the combat damage resolves
<frgrdsr> listen
<frgrdsr> that refers to if
<frgrdsr> say
<frgrdsr> you chose to giant growth your creature
<frgrdsr> NOT
<frgrdsr> to defy the rules by sacrificing a creature that has been blocked
<Moxlotus> its not defying rules
<frgrdsr> it's written clear as day
<Moxlotus> its basic knowledge of the stack
<frgrdsr> wizardsofthecoast.com
<Moxlotus> obv
<Moxlotus> have you ever played in tournaments before?
<frgrdsr> this is regarding SACRIFICING in specific
<frgrdsr> yes
<Moxlotus> what--fnm?
<frgrdsr> you cannot sacrifice on the way to the grave
<Moxlotus> its before the damage resolves
<frgrdsr> read the rulebook
<Moxlotus> you can use any effects in response to the damage resolving
<frgrdsr> that step is there for abilities before the damage takes place
It is now the Combat Phase, End Of Combat Step
<Moxlotus> look at next step
<frgrdsr> except that
<frgrdsr> it says in the rulebook
<Moxlotus> players may play spells and abilities
<frgrdsr> you cant sacrifice
<frgrdsr> and what does it say about "sacrifice", go on, tell me
<frgrdsr> nothing?
<Moxlotus> ravager's ABILITY
<Moxlotus> you can use its ability
<frgrdsr> not if it involves sacrificing
<frgrdsr> it's a [Censored] rule
<frgrdsr> but it exists
<Moxlotus> its not there
<Moxlotus> cite the rule
<Moxlotus> the exact number and i'll look it up
<frgrdsr> i'm not gonna go digging for it
<frgrdsr> look it up
<Moxlotus> i know i can't sack something to pay for a spell
<Moxlotus> but i can use ravager's ability
<Moxlotus> i know u can't sacrifice mogg fanatic to goblin grenade
<Moxlotus> its different
<Moxlotus> because a sacrifice hapepns immediately
<Moxlotus> combat damage goes on the stack
<frgrdsr> if say, I lightningbolted your creature, you can respond by sacrificing
<frgrdsr> that's legal
<frgrdsr> combat damage is different
<Moxlotus> does it go on the stack?
<frgrdsr> yes
<Moxlotus> exactly
<frgrdsr> enabling you to giantgrowth, use abilities, whathave you
<frgrdsr> i agree
<frgrdsr> however
<frgrdsr> sacrificing is a different story
<Moxlotus> w/e man
<frgrdsr> hey dont believe me
<frgrdsr> look it up yourself
<Moxlotus> go to starcitygames.com and you'll look at everyone laughing at you in the forums
<frgrdsr> gg
<frgrdsr> k sure
<frgrdsr> i change my name 10x a day
<frgrdsr> go for it
<System> Player Lost

[Nehptis]

Gotta love it! 

I'm Sephone.

<Mindslaver> you gonna shuffle up and flip, or are you just going to be a fucking newb?
Sephone rolled a 10, using a 20 sided die
Sephone shuffles library
<Mindslaver> that's better
<Mindslaver> shuffle up and draw 7, newb
<Sephone> Play
Sephone draws 7 cards
<Mindslaver> good!

I'm playing Oath.  He's playing Grimlong.  Game 1 he screws up a combo play, fizzles and loses.  Nice work and I'm the newb.
Game 2 I play Extract grab his TOA.  He pretends like he has a chance, I cast Oath and....

<System> Player Lost

Big surprise.  But, yes, I'm the newb.

[Implacable]

<-------- New Game Started -------->
Implacable's Security Code: 5D495B45 [???]
VALERIA's Security Code: DD882E6A [???]
It is now turn 1 (VALERIA)
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
VALERIA shuffles library
Implacable rolled a 17, using a 20 sided die
VALERIA rolled a 16, using a 20 sided die
It is now turn 2 (Implacable)
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
VALERIA shuffles library
VALERIA draws a card
<Implacable> P
VALERIA draws a card
Implacable shuffles library
VALERIA draws a card
VALERIA draws a card
VALERIA draws a card
VALERIA draws a card
VALERIA draws a card
Implacable draws 7 cards
<VALERIA> ok
<Implacable> FYI, Ctrl+M = Draw 7
<Implacable> Thinking....
<Implacable> Kp
<VALERIA> ?
<VALERIA> GO
It is now the Precombat Main Phase
Implacable plays Mox Ruby from Hand
Implacable plays Polluted Delta from Hand
Implacable taps Polluted Delta
Implacable puts Polluted Delta to Graveyard from Play
Implacable's life total is now 19 (-1)
Implacable is looking its Library...
Implacable puts Underground Sea into play from Library
Implacable shuffles library
Implacable stops looking its Library...
Implacable taps Mox Ruby
Implacable taps Underground Sea
Implacable plays Flash from Hand
<Implacable> Ok?
<VALERIA> ANOTHER IDIOT
<System> Player Lost

Short & sweet.  This guy was great.

[Ephraim]

This fellow had beaten me twice in a row, fairly easily.  He was playing heavy land destruction and I was playing a cute Evacuation + Flash Creature + Biorhythm deck that I've been putting together for FNM.  I think he was trying to be helpful, because he started giving me advice after all of this, but this was just too funny not to post.

<Ephraim> GG
<MagicGenius> off course
<Ephraim> Take care.
<MagicGenius> ?
<MagicGenius> wht?
<Ephraim> It's a way of saying goodbye.  I'm going to depart now.
<Ephraim> So I said, "Take care." as in "Take care of yourself."
<MagicGenius> ?
<MagicGenius> well, go to hell then =)
<Ephraim> Doubtful.
<MagicGenius> =)
<MagicGenius> blabla
<MagicGenius> listen very noob
<MagicGenius> u have a another deck?
<Ephraim> A couple.
<MagicGenius> why... this deck... is a mountain of shit

[Meddling Mike]

OK, so he's just cast Oath of Druids with a forbidden orchard and passed, I've got smokestack in play...

It is now turn 14 (Meddling Mage)
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
Meddling Mage untaps his/her permanents
Meddling Mage taps Ancient Tomb (He has energy flux in play)
Meddling Mage's life total is now 16 (-2)
<VALERIA> Ok
Smokestack now has 1 (+1) counters.
<VALERIA> Wait!
<VALERIA> Wait!
<VALERIA> Wait!
<VALERIA> Wait!
<VALERIA> NO NO
<VALERIA> NEXT
<VALERIA> UK
<Meddling Mage> I'm active player, so I'm stacking the abilities so that I can sacrifice
<VALERIA> GO IN STAK NEXT UPKEEP FOX I'M NO IDIOT
<VALERIA> GO
<Meddling Mage> think of it this way
<VALERIA> TOKEN IN PLAY
VALERIA's life total is now 19 (+1)
<VALERIA> I PLAY FROM 1993 GO
<Meddling Mage> I'll put the sacrifice on the stack, then put the counter on the stack, counter resolves first
<Meddling Mage> then I would sacrifice one permanent
<VALERIA> NEXT
<VALERIA> Ok?
<VALERIA> STOP
Meddling Mage destroys  token Spirit
VALERIA puts a 1/1 Spirit token into play
Meddling Mage is now the controller of Spirit
<VALERIA> GO
<Meddling Mage> look, gimme a minute, I'll find you a ruling
<VALERIA> Wait!
<VALERIA> Wait!
<VALERIA> I FUCK YOUR BITCH MOTHER
<VALERIA> I FUCK YOUR BITCH MOTHER
<VALERIA> I FUCK YOUR BITCH MOTHER
<VALERIA> I FUCK YOUR BITCH MOTHER
<VALERIA> I FUCK YOUR BITCH MOTHER
<VALERIA> I FUCK YOUR BITCH MOTHER
<VALERIA> Ok?
<VALERIA> I FUCK YOUR BITCH MOTHER
<VALERIA> I FUCK YOUR BITCH MOTHER
<VALERIA> I FUCK YOUR BITCH MOTHER
<VALERIA> I FUCK YOUR BITCH MOTHER
<VALERIA> I FUCK YOUR BITCH MOTHER
<System> Player Lost

The same guy from Implacable's post last page, this guy is a real champ.

[Jacob Orlove]

This just happened to me. I'm still stunned:

<-------- New Game Started -------->
It is now turn 1 (Player)
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
j_orlove shuffles library
j_orlove rolled a 15, using a 20 sided die
<Player> hy
<j_orlove> hi
<Player> Ok
<j_orlove> roll for first?
(thirty seconds pass)
<j_orlove> hello?
Player looks at a card
Player puts Dash Hopes into play from Library
Player taps Dash Hopes
<System> Player Lost

[Jacob Orlove]

And now this. I give up, seriously:

(game begins, he wins the roll)
Player plays Forest from Hand
Player plays Forest from Hand
Player plays Forest from Hand
Player taps Forest
Player taps Forest
Player plays Channel from Hand
<Player> Ok?
<j_orlove> wait
Player plays Blaze from Hand
<Player> end game
<j_orlove> you have no red mana
<j_orlove> and
<Player> ops
<System> Player Lost

[Serin]

I just joined a game I had to copypaste:

<-------- New Game Started -------->
Serin's Security Code: 6A3E70D7 [???]
tripleghost's Security Code: 567E5E3C [Type 1.5]
It is now turn 1 (tripleghost)
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> i'm sataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> FUCK
<tripleghost> ASSHOLE
<tripleghost> GO TO HELL
<Serin> now can we begin playing?
<System> Player Lost


It has harsh words, but its from the very satan!

PS: Mods, if this has to be censored due to the F word, please do so..

[Yare]

Yare vs David [another David, other than myself]

David untaps his/her permanents
David draws a card
David plays Tropical Island from Hand
David taps Chrome Mox
David taps Tropical Island
David plays Quirion Dryad from Hand
<Yare> Ok
David taps Tropical Island
David plays Brainstorm from Hand
<Yare> Ok
David plays Duress from Hand
Quirion Dryad is now 3/3
It is now the Combat Phase, Beginning Of Combat Step
David taps Quirion Dryad
<David> End my turn
<Yare> summoning sickness
<David> Ok?
<Yare> no, you played it this turn
<Yare> you can't attack with it until next turn
<David> Ok
It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
<David> sorry
Yare untaps his/her permanents
...
<Yare> End my turn
David untaps his/her permanents
David draws a card
David taps Tropical Island
David taps Chrome Mox
David plays Tarmogoyf from Hand
David taps Tropical Island
<Yare> Ok
David taps Tropical Island
David plays Quirion Dryad from Hand
<Yare> Ok
Quirion Dryad is now 2/2
Quirion Dryad is now 5/5
<Yare> no
<Yare> it has to be a nongreen spell
Tarmogoyf is now 3/4
<Yare> those are both green
<David> 2 green spell
<System> Session Lost
<System> Disconnected

Sigh.  

(Yes, I know it's red, blue, black, or white, not "nongreen", I was using shorthand).

[Ephraim]

I have highlighted the critical sentence in this exchange.  How could you possibly acknowledge that a spell requires a target but then claim that it doesn't target anything?  Okay, not that it mattered.  He was going to win the game anyway, but still...

I flip over Willbender in response to him casting Temporal Isolation, targetting one of my attacking creatures.
<Ephraim> Temporal Isolation will target Riftwatcher
<Ephraim> (untapped one)
<RedWizard> no...
<RedWizard> isloation isnt a spell or ability
<Ephraim> It's a spell.
<RedWizard> but it doesnt target
<Ephraim> Yes it does.
<RedWizard> ...
<RedWizard> it really doesnt
<Ephraim> Just a moment.  I'll find a rules reference.
<RedWizard> kk
<Ephraim> 212.4e An Aura spell requires a target, which is restricted by its enchant ability.
<RedWizard> yeah... it requires a target but it doesnt say "target"
<RedWizard> its chosen when it comes into play

[brianpk80]

"Militant Rules Freak Wigs Out And Runs Away"

Context:

Usually, I'm the one who notiices the rules lapses and lets things slide.  Though I like to design and play against competitive decks, Magic is primarily an exercise in fun.  Apparently not for my last opponent, who became increasingly flustered as his GAT got twisted up by my latest whacky Fish-esque pile.  First he insisted that my playing a spell, drawing a target arrow, and giving him ample time to respond didn't count as passing priority.  Then he moaned that the creatures I used "weren't played in Vintage."  When it became increasingly obvious his Dryad wasn't ever getting through the soft locks, he freaked out over a Bazaar activation.  It was a thinly veiled pretense to escape an inevitable loss and with a presumably "sassy" remark near the end, he vanished.  Poor guy... 

0:15:31 [BPK] BPK taps Bazaar of Baghdad
0:15:32 [BPK] BPK draws a card
0:15:33 [BPK] BPK draws a card
0:15:35 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> ...
0:15:39 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> how do you draw cards?
0:15:45 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> when the bazaar activation is on the stack?
0:15:48 [BPK] <BPK> Bazaar of Baghdad
0:15:48 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> and I don't get to respond?
0:15:54 [BPK] BPK undone last draw [1 card(s)]
0:15:55 [BPK] BPK undone last draw [1 card(s)]
0:16:02 [BPK] <BPK> Go for it.
0:16:07 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> ...
0:16:26 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> is it so much to ask that people follow the rules?
0:16:30 [BPK] <BPK> Not at all.
0:16:37 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> so why aren't you?
0:16:38 [BPK] <BPK> Do you have a response to the Bazaar activation?
0:16:40 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> no
0:16:48 [BPK] <BPK> May I draw then?
0:16:56 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> ...
0:16:59 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> all you have to do is say ok?
0:17:01 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> and I say ok
0:17:03 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> and it's fine
0:17:10 [BPK] <BPK> Sometimes an okay is implicit.
0:17:15 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> no
0:17:17 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> I disagree
0:17:17 [BPK] <BPK> But I'll keep in mind you like it to be spelled out.
0:17:24 [BPK] <BPK> Ok, I disagree likewise.
0:17:28 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> ok
0:17:31 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> I have an MWS banned list
0:17:33 [Vedalken] <Vedalken> welcome to it
0:17:34 [BPK] <BPK> I'll say "ok" at every little step for this game.
0:17:36 [<System>] <System> Player Lost

People get too crazy when they're losing to cards they've never heard of before.  I haven't been on MWS too much recently, but I swear it's as horrifying as ever. 

-BPK

[Skadrian]

and a classic: damn, I cant win, lets make up something:
in casual Lorwyn draft, 55 mins on the clock in game three:

Skadrian plays Ajani Goldmane from Hand
Ajani Goldmane now has 4 (+4) counters.
<Johnnnie_Me> noob
<Johnnnie_Me> is draw
<Johnnnie_Me> time is out
<Skadrian> what time?
<Johnnnie_Me> round time
<Skadrian> ah, you noticed you couldnt win, so you called it a draw?
<Skadrian> we never talked about round time
<Skadrian> there are no rounds
<Johnnnie_Me> lolll
<Johnnnie_Me> 40 minutes per round
<Johnnnie_Me> have you played any time in real life?
<Skadrian> why didnt you noticed that before
<Skadrian> your round is over for 15 mins now
<Skadrian> When I play in real life rounds are always 50 mins
<Johnnnie_Me> no, 40
<Skadrian> so, are you happy now?
<Johnnnie_Me> only in prerelease events are 50
<Johnnnie_Me> bb, time is out

[Sgt_Slinky]

This was horrible...
This was game 2 and first he lost for having 2 Mox Sapphire in deck.
When all this took place he had a Sapphire in play.

_TEKI_ taps Black Lotus
_TEKI_ puts Black Lotus to Graveyard from Play
*adds 2 blue and a black*
_TEKI_ plays Ancestral Recall from Hand
_TEKI_ puts Ancestral Recall to Graveyard from Play
It is now the Beginning Phase, Draw Step
_TEKI_ draws a card
It is now the Precombat Main Phase
It is now the Beginning Phase, Draw Step
_TEKI_ draws a card
It is now the Precombat Main Phase
It is now the Beginning Phase, Draw Step
_TEKI_ draws a card
It is now the Precombat Main Phase
<Sgt_Slinky> wait what color???????
_TEKI_ plays Mox Sapphire from Hand     <-Idiot
<_TEKI_> ?
<Sgt_Slinky> lotus
<_TEKI_> is here
<_TEKI_> 2 blues
<_TEKI_> and one black
<_TEKI_> look
<Sgt_Slinky> it doesn't work that way
<Sgt_Slinky> u get 1 color mana
<_TEKI_> sorry
<Sgt_Slinky> Ok
<_TEKI_> blue
<_TEKI_> i didn't know this
<_TEKI_> sorry
<Sgt_Slinky> game loss
<_TEKI_> realy sorry
<Sgt_Slinky> again
_TEKI_ plays Mox Ruby from Hand
<_TEKI_> but i have a swamp
<Sgt_Slinky> oh, well that makes it all better
_TEKI_ plays Swamp from Hand
<_TEKI_> Ok?
<Sgt_Slinky> no u lose
<_TEKI_> ok
<_TEKI_> g2
<Sgt_Slinky> thats ok...

And this guy kept doing it!!!

awful

[EnialisLiadon]

sensoger españa plays Black Lotus from Hand

*a turn later*

sensoger españa taps Black Lotus
sensoger españa puts Black Lotus to Graveyard from Play
sensoger españa plays Channel from Hand
sensoger españa taps Mox Ruby
<Anthony> Seems good
sensoger españa taps Mox Emerald
sensoger españa plays Fireball from Hand
Anthony puts Brainstorm to RFG from Hand
Anthony plays Force of Will from Hand
Anthony's life total is now 19 (-1)
sensoger españa puts Fireball to Graveyard from Play
sensoger españa plays Mox Ruby from Hand
sensoger españa plays Black Lotus from Hand
sensoger españa taps Black Lotus
sensoger españa plays Fireball from Hand
<Anthony> ...
<sensoger españa> you lose 20 life ^^
sensoger españa's life total is now 10 (-10)
<Anthony> are you aware of the T1 restricted list?
sensoger españa's life total is now 2 (-8)
<sensoger españa> ^this is t 1.5
<Anthony> then I pose a different question to you
<Anthony> are you aware of the t1.5 banned list?
<System> Player Lost

Aside from not paying 18 life for the first Fireball, I have the sneaking suspicion that his deck was like 12 loti, 12 emeralds, 12 rubies, 12 channels, and 12 fireballs.

[LotusHead]

]_otusHeaD vs ANTOINE(fr) [10/31/2007 12:43:11 AM]

0:00:00 []_otusHeaD] <New Game: waiting for opponent>
0:00:00 []_otusHeaD] ]_otusHeaD shuffles library
0:00:00 []_otusHeaD] <]_otusHeaD> Friendly Players Only. My Comp is Slow Today!
0:00:00 []_otusHeaD] ]_otusHeaD draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) shuffles library
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] <ANTOINE(fr)> I am ready.
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) draws 0 cards
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] <ANTOINE(fr)> hi
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) rolled a 15, using a 20 sided die
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) shuffles library
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) shuffles library
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) shuffles library
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) shuffles library
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) shuffles library
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) shuffles library
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) draws 7 cards
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] It is now the Precombat Main Phase
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) plays Wasteland from Hand
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) taps Wasteland
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) plays AEther Vial from Hand
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) plays Chalice of the Void from Hand
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) untaps his/her permanents
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] It is now the Beginning Phase, Upkeep Step
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] AEther Vial now has 1 (+1) counters.
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] It is now the Beginning Phase, Draw Step
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) draws a card
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] It is now the Precombat Main Phase
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) plays Mountain from Hand
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) taps Mountain
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] <-------- New Game Started -------->
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr)'s Security Code: 6AC94CA2 [???]
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ]_otusHeaD's Security Code: F5D5373E [Type 1.5]
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] It is now turn 1 (ANTOINE(fr))
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] It is now the Beginning Phase, Untap Step
0:00:00 [ANTOINE(fr)] ANTOINE(fr) plays Goblin Welder from Hand
0:00:00 []_otusHeaD] <]_otusHeaD> hey
0:00:05 [<System>] <System> Player Lost

0:00:07 []_otusHeaD] <]_otusHeaD> my computer is slow


This is by no means to point fingers at Antoine.  This is an MWS horror story.

This is Game #4 vs Player #4.  My computer is slow for some reason, and I look like a noob playing.
Mostly because I can get into a game after they quite because my computer is sloow and they gave up.

No excuses here, just...if you want a game, wait that extra minute.  DOH!

[squeegee]

Ok, so at this point, he has board control, and my EE will wreck his CotV at 0 and 2, 2 and 2 moxen, and none of my permanents, and allows me to play lotus and mox, basically for the win.


squeegee plays Engineered Explosives from Hand
Engineered Explosives's note changed: 0
<VALERIA> countered
<squeegee> paid 1 colorless
<VALERIA> is played to 0
<squeegee> no
<VALERIA> is countered
<squeegee> is 1
<squeegee> not countered
<VALERIA> read
<VALERIA> 0
<VALERIA> 0
<squeegee> casting cost is 1
<squeegee> thats what i paid to cast it
<squeegee> 1
<squeegee> not 0
<VALERIA> then
VALERIA is now the controller of Engineered Explosives
Engineered Explosives's note changed: 1
squeegee is now the controller of Engineered Explosives
<VALERIA> Ok
<squeegee> no
Engineered Explosives's note changed: 0
<squeegee> 1 colorless
<squeegee> read sunburst
<VALERIA> you cant
<VALERIA> read
<squeegee> read sunburst
<squeegee> i paid 1 COLORLESS
<VALERIA> bye i win study the rules children
<System> Player Lost

[Ephraim]

Maybe it's just me, but wouldn't it be better to ask your opponent to wait for a moment while you dig up a rules reference.  For example:

203.3b When calculating the converted mana cost of an object with an in its mana cost, X is treated as 0 while the object is not on the stack, and X is treated as the number chosen for it while the object is on the stack.

[Yare]

I have found that if you actually dig up the rule, people are surprisingly receptive to them.

[Matt]

I have found that while you dig up a rule and explain it, you get called a motherfucker and they quit.

[SpencerForHire]

I have found that while you dig up a rule and explain it, you get called a motherfucker and they quit.

QFT, it is almost always a waste of your time if they sound like they are immature, they probably are (which means in the end you lose the game for wasting your time against such an opponent in the first place).