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Author Topic: TMD OPEN 14-Waterbury, CT Marriott-September 11, 2010 *YUP, you read that right*  (Read 63138 times)
Juggernaut GO
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« Reply #150 on: August 21, 2010, 01:27:09 pm »

And chris, yeah i did, remind me again what you won besides the door prize at a myriad
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« Reply #151 on: August 21, 2010, 04:14:21 pm »

Well, here are just the ones I took the time to write about.  Note that sometimes I had to save myself time and write about winning multiple tournaments in the same report.

http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=38261.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=37891.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=39275.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=36673.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=38883.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=31335.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=37196.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=36426.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=34713.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=22496.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=31715.0


EDIT:  Oh, and here are some others I didn't bother doing reports for.  I'm pretty sure this still isn't an exhaustive list, but since you asked for a refresher:

http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=28939.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=40433.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=38602.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=38807.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=39724.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=37340.0
http://www.themanadrain.com/index.php?topic=37605.0

« Last Edit: August 21, 2010, 04:30:20 pm by Demonic Attorney » Logged

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« Reply #152 on: August 21, 2010, 04:36:45 pm »


All I see is a bunch of 3-0-2's at an ELD tournament (lol) and a couple splits with control slaver.  Not impressive.

Why don't we make a bet for Waterbury, whoever has the most points at the end of the tournament (not just swiss) wins.

I say If I end up with a better record then you, I get to maybe, moderate the mana drain for 1 day.

If I lose, well, let the players decide.  I'm sure people on this forum can think of something creative.

The question is do you have the balls to take the bet?
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« Reply #153 on: August 21, 2010, 06:01:49 pm »

Travis, the problem with your terms is this.  In the spirit of reciprocity, I would want to take on your duties and functions for a day if I won.  And honestly, I am genuinely concerned that I might not be up to the task.  And I fear for the fate of the world if it should turn out that I'm not.

Your busy schedule is packed full of vital functions and important services upon which our community depends.  I'm not entirely sure what a day in the life of Travis LaPlante is really like, but I'll paint as vivid a mental picture of my efforts to follow in your footsteps as possible:

I awaken at the bottom of a pile of refuse, empty beer cans, dirty clothes, old pizza boxes, and sticky, soiled Kleenex at the crack of noon.  Dazed, I squint as my vision focuses on the ceiling, the events of the previous evening not quite coming into focus.  I stumble out of bed, and immediately I'm face to face with one of the dozens of calendars posted on the walls throughout the residence.  They're all from the year 2005.  The year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Five.  Philosophers say that death and uncertainty are vital parts of the human condition-- they ensure that we all approach each day with a renewed sense of anticipation and eagerness, because none of us can ever know when the best moment in our lives will come.  Well, dear readers, in taking on the role of Travis LaPlante, I am not most people.  I am not a mere man.  No.  I'm the Juggernaut, bitch.  I know exactly when my life peaked-- it peaked at Waterbury VII.

I allow myself to hold my gaze on the calendar for a wistful second before turning away, the pangs of memory tugging at my heartstrings as like the photograph of a loved one.  The memory of that solitary moment of triumph is the only thing that keeps me going these days.  It's enveloped me like the warm embrace of the summer breeze, as I've made many, many, many a drive home from countless other tournaments, after going 0-2 drop. 

I sigh and set myself to my day's labors.  I tenderly exchange my Girls Gone Wild cap for a tinfoil hat, protecting myself from the sinister machinations of the TMD moderation staff.  Their autocratic plot to overmoderate the website must not be allowed to succeed.  The day an adult conversation can take place on TMD will be the day they pry my keyboard out of my cold, dead hands.  I download the software for another proxy server, whilst scouring my mind for the latest alias that will provide cover for my struggle for freedom against the staff.  ZHERBUSLICKSBALLS?  feinsteinsupportscheaters?  Thirty seconds later, having exhausted my vocabulary, I exclaim, "YOUREEK-HA!" and triumphantly don a disguise that would thwart the acumen of Sherlock Holmes himself-- DASWEATYBALLSLULZ.  I hurl myself upon the gears, upon the levers of the TMD moderation machine.  Smmenen's mother fucked Richard Nixon!  Jeek is a dirty fucker!  And on and on, until the trembles of rage and passion leave my fleshy hands.   

Satisfied that I've fought the good fight against decency and civility for another day, I replace my Girls Gone Wild cap atop my head and choose my wardrobe for the day from the pile of unwashed clothes in the corner.  "Sarcasm is one of the my services I offer"?  "Keep honking, I'm reloading"?  Or the wolf picture?  Hot Topic provides me with so many options.  I elect for the shirt least covered in stains and smudges, and, after much effort, don my sweat pants.  It's off to school.

Along the way, I produce a CD from the fetid pile of half-eaten takeout containers and soda cans in the backseat, looking forward to the latest masterpiece of Dr. Seuss as read on tape.  However, my spirits fall as I remember that my car stereo was long ago jacked in the parking lot of the Hadley Mall.  The CD disappears in the dark gap in the center console where the stereo should have been, along with so many before it.   

As I enter the campus, I catch the eye of a nubile co-ed and lumber over to her, working my romantic magic.  "Hey baby, you see this hat?  If you want some of this, you know what you have to do!"  The acrid kiss of pepper spray is always the same.  She only screams "Help!  HELP!" a few times as she flees for the safety of campus police.  I consider this first meeting a success, and make a note to approach her again in the future.  I clear my eyes and resume my trek to the classroom.

Special education isn't as difficult as the name might suggest.  I have a straight-A average, and teacher tells me that if I behave myself this whole week, a gold star will be added to my chart.  I briefly envision my chart, adorned with a gold star, and smile.  Maybe it would be as sweet as my 1st place finish at Waterbury VII, my reward after a brutal struggle against the unsleeved decks, Landstill control engines, and Sui Black offense of the casual players that pushed attendance at that tournament to record highs.   

How dare Demonic Attorney attempt to compare results with me.  He only has, like, several dozen wins and high finishes in a row.  But those are inferior tournaments.  Hosted only by TO's like Myriad Games.  And ELD.  And Centreville Games.  And Double Midnight.  And The Beanie Exchange, Pandemonium, Hadley, Waterbury, Travis LaPlante, Dave Feinstein, BatterUp, Mykeatog, and Andystok.  How could they possibly compare?  And I'm going to get a gold sta-- wait a second.  That other kid in the football helmet looks like Kowal.  Kowal!  How did he get into the special class?  He used to be a TMD Mod!  Fuck this.  There's a trash barrel on hand, this shit is on! 

It seems my lapse in judgment cost me more than my gold star.  School security escorted me to the edge of campus, telling me I can come back when I can behave myself.  I've heard that before.  Jacob Orlove used that line, and then I came back as ZHERBUSLICKSBALLS and no one was the wiser!  Well, I'll apply my cunning ability for disguise to real life!  They'll never suspect a thing!






...My attempt to sneak back into class was not as successful as I hoped.  Apparently a fake moustache is not as effective a disguise as a TMD alias.  Now I have to take these pills three times a day.  "Behavioral modification," they said.  "Modification"?  "Mod"?!  Fuck, no!  I hurl the pills out the window of the car on my way home, the bottle vanishing among the shadows that creep longer and larger as the twilight hour creeps closer, the advent of nightfall hanging in the air.

I return home and pause on my front lawn, looking up at my girlfriend's bedroom window.  She's walking into the room from the shower-- what luck!  I think to ring her doorbell and say hello, but she's been reticent the last few times we've interacted.  I've decided to fulfill her need for space and my need for, well... with a pair a binoculars.  I sit on my hood, the suspension system of my car creaking out another feeble groan of protest and fix my gaze on her window.  She changes into a tank top, the one she was wearing before we met and she invested in a rape whistle.  She looks down into my driveway, and our eyes meet for a charged instant, my unfettered desire surprising her.  Her jaw drops.  She throws the blinds closed. 

The police arrived soon thereafter.  I'm given another court date.  I smile self-assuredly.  That DA thinks he's so smart.  I've already seen more court time than him, and I haven't even gone to law school!  Well, not as a student.  These "probation fees" are starting to add up, though, and my investment income has been tied up lately.  That nice man from Nigeria told me he'd be able to move a million dollars into my bank account if I just gave him my PIN number.  My balance dropped unexpectedly soon thereafter, but I'm sure he's just covering regulatory costs.  But I need to do something. 

I head down to Foxwoods and empty my pockets.  $516, a condom I bought in 1994, a pack of chewing gum, and a walkman.  I put it all on #2005 in Roulette-- my lucky number.  I'm told the numbers don't go up that high.  Another game that can't keep up with me.  Very well.  Number 25.  I close my eyes and put down my life savings.  The balls rolls slowly onto 25, providing once again that the maxim is true, and Providence protects children and idiots.
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« Reply #154 on: August 21, 2010, 10:46:26 pm »

The maxim is true, and Providence protects children and idiots.

You may be in the running to win the tmd award for overblown fantasy concoctions on a Saturday afternoon, but you still never won a tournament over 30 players.

On the other hand, this child and idiot will continue to get lucky and steamroll uptight players on the boards, and in tournaments.


NY vs PA vs NE GRUDGE MATCH? Oh no, that one isn't going to mean jack shit.

The DA vs Laplante grudge match sept 11, 2010 is going to be more apocalyptic then the magical ticket of sarah palin/glen beck winning the presidency in 2012, then shortly after, getting run over by a drunken bus of tea party advocates in celebration to leave us with an absolutely shit nuts president.

YOU BETTER WEAR A HORSESHOE UP YOUR ASS AND BRING THE MOTHERFUCKER FROM THE LUCKY CHARMS CEREAL BOX TO PERSONALLY BLESS YOU BEFORE EVERY GAME, BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO NEED ALL THE LUCK POSSIBLE TO TAKE THIS ONE DOWN.
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« Reply #155 on: August 21, 2010, 11:36:15 pm »

Also, in related news, for anyone coming in from out of town that isn't staying at the marriott, I have an entire weekend of free rooms at mohegan reserved if anyone needs a place to stay for free.  It is like an hour and a half away from the actual tournament though, but there is free booze, and its probably the best casino outside of vegas.
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« Reply #156 on: August 21, 2010, 11:40:45 pm »

Travis, the problem with your terms is this.  In the spirit of reciprocity, I would want to take on your duties and functions for a day if I won.  And honestly, I am genuinely concerned that I might not be up to the task.  And I fear for the fate of the world if it should turn out that I'm not.

Your busy schedule is packed full of vital functions and important services upon which our community depends.  I'm not entirely sure what a day in the life of Travis LaPlante is really like, but I'll paint as vivid a mental picture of my efforts to follow in your footsteps as possible:

I awaken at the bottom of a pile of refuse, empty beer cans, dirty clothes, old pizza boxes, and sticky, soiled Kleenex at the crack of noon.  Dazed, I squint as my vision focuses on the ceiling, the events of the previous evening not quite coming into focus.  I stumble out of bed, and immediately I'm face to face with one of the dozens of calendars posted on the walls throughout the residence.  They're all from the year 2005.  The year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Five.  Philosophers say that death and uncertainty are vital parts of the human condition-- they ensure that we all approach each day with a renewed sense of anticipation and eagerness, because none of us can ever know when the best moment in our lives will come.  Well, dear readers, in taking on the role of Travis LaPlante, I am not most people.  I am not a mere man.  No.  I'm the Juggernaut, bitch.  I know exactly when my life peaked-- it peaked at Waterbury VII.

I allow myself to hold my gaze on the calendar for a wistful second before turning away, the pangs of memory tugging at my heartstrings as like the photograph of a loved one.  The memory of that solitary moment of triumph is the only thing that keeps me going these days.  It's enveloped me like the warm embrace of the summer breeze, as I've made many, many, many a drive home from countless other tournaments, after going 0-2 drop. 

I sigh and set myself to my day's labors.  I tenderly exchange my Girls Gone Wild cap for a tinfoil hat, protecting myself from the sinister machinations of the TMD moderation staff.  Their autocratic plot to overmoderate the website must not be allowed to succeed.  The day an adult conversation can take place on TMD will be the day they pry my keyboard out of my cold, dead hands.  I download the software for another proxy server, whilst scouring my mind for the latest alias that will provide cover for my struggle for freedom against the staff.  ZHERBUSLICKSBALLS?  feinsteinsupportscheaters?  Thirty seconds later, having exhausted my vocabulary, I exclaim, "YOUREEK-HA!" and triumphantly don a disguise that would thwart the acumen of Sherlock Holmes himself-- DASWEATYBALLSLULZ.  I hurl myself upon the gears, upon the levers of the TMD moderation machine.  Smmenen's mother fucked Richard Nixon!  Jeek is a dirty fucker!  And on and on, until the trembles of rage and passion leave my fleshy hands.   

Satisfied that I've fought the good fight against decency and civility for another day, I replace my Girls Gone Wild cap atop my head and choose my wardrobe for the day from the pile of unwashed clothes in the corner.  "Sarcasm is one of the my services I offer"?  "Keep honking, I'm reloading"?  Or the wolf picture?  Hot Topic provides me with so many options.  I elect for the shirt least covered in stains and smudges, and, after much effort, don my sweat pants.  It's off to school.

Along the way, I produce a CD from the fetid pile of half-eaten takeout containers and soda cans in the backseat, looking forward to the latest masterpiece of Dr. Seuss as read on tape.  However, my spirits fall as I remember that my car stereo was long ago jacked in the parking lot of the Hadley Mall.  The CD disappears in the dark gap in the center console where the stereo should have been, along with so many before it.   

As I enter the campus, I catch the eye of a nubile co-ed and lumber over to her, working my romantic magic.  "Hey baby, you see this hat?  If you want some of this, you know what you have to do!"  The acrid kiss of pepper spray is always the same.  She only screams "Help!  HELP!" a few times as she flees for the safety of campus police.  I consider this first meeting a success, and make a note to approach her again in the future.  I clear my eyes and resume my trek to the classroom.

Special education isn't as difficult as the name might suggest.  I have a straight-A average, and teacher tells me that if I behave myself this whole week, a gold star will be added to my chart.  I briefly envision my chart, adorned with a gold star, and smile.  Maybe it would be as sweet as my 1st place finish at Waterbury VII, my reward after a brutal struggle against the unsleeved decks, Landstill control engines, and Sui Black offense of the casual players that pushed attendance at that tournament to record highs.   

How dare Demonic Attorney attempt to compare results with me.  He only has, like, several dozen wins and high finishes in a row.  But those are inferior tournaments.  Hosted only by TO's like Myriad Games.  And ELD.  And Centreville Games.  And Double Midnight.  And The Beanie Exchange, Pandemonium, Hadley, Waterbury, Travis LaPlante, Dave Feinstein, BatterUp, Mykeatog, and Andystok.  How could they possibly compare?  And I'm going to get a gold sta-- wait a second.  That other kid in the football helmet looks like Kowal.  Kowal!  How did he get into the special class?  He used to be a TMD Mod!  Fuck this.  There's a trash barrel on hand, this shit is on! 

It seems my lapse in judgment cost me more than my gold star.  School security escorted me to the edge of campus, telling me I can come back when I can behave myself.  I've heard that before.  Jacob Orlove used that line, and then I came back as ZHERBUSLICKSBALLS and no one was the wiser!  Well, I'll apply my cunning ability for disguise to real life!  They'll never suspect a thing!






...My attempt to sneak back into class was not as successful as I hoped.  Apparently a fake moustache is not as effective a disguise as a TMD alias.  Now I have to take these pills three times a day.  "Behavioral modification," they said.  "Modification"?  "Mod"?!  Fuck, no!  I hurl the pills out the window of the car on my way home, the bottle vanishing among the shadows that creep longer and larger as the twilight hour creeps closer, the advent of nightfall hanging in the air.

I return home and pause on my front lawn, looking up at my girlfriend's bedroom window.  She's walking into the room from the shower-- what luck!  I think to ring her doorbell and say hello, but she's been reticent the last few times we've interacted.  I've decided to fulfill her need for space and my need for, well... with a pair a binoculars.  I sit on my hood, the suspension system of my car creaking out another feeble groan of protest and fix my gaze on her window.  She changes into a tank top, the one she was wearing before we met and she invested in a rape whistle.  She looks down into my driveway, and our eyes meet for a charged instant, my unfettered desire surprising her.  Her jaw drops.  She throws the blinds closed. 

The police arrived soon thereafter.  I'm given another court date.  I smile self-assuredly.  That DA thinks he's so smart.  I've already seen more court time than him, and I haven't even gone to law school!  Well, not as a student.  These "probation fees" are starting to add up, though, and my investment income has been tied up lately.  That nice man from Nigeria told me he'd be able to move a million dollars into my bank account if I just gave him my PIN number.  My balance dropped unexpectedly soon thereafter, but I'm sure he's just covering regulatory costs.  But I need to do something. 

I head down to Foxwoods and empty my pockets.  $516, a condom I bought in 1994, a pack of chewing gum, and a walkman.  I put it all on #2005 in Roulette-- my lucky number.  I'm told the numbers don't go up that high.  Another game that can't keep up with me.  Very well.  Number 25.  I close my eyes and put down my life savings.  The balls rolls slowly onto 25, providing once again that the maxim is true, and Providence protects children and idiots.

This is one of the funniest things I have ever read!
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« Reply #157 on: August 21, 2010, 11:47:35 pm »

Yeah that was probably the most epic burn ever on this website.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2010, 12:00:02 am by JuggernautGO » Logged

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« Reply #158 on: August 22, 2010, 02:37:00 am »

Story Time with DA

NEEDS MORE TITTIES
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« Reply #159 on: August 22, 2010, 12:01:19 pm »

Story Time with DA

tl;dr
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« Reply #160 on: August 22, 2010, 12:13:10 pm »


If you do, you'll LOL.
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« Reply #161 on: August 22, 2010, 12:42:02 pm »


Maybe when i'm at work
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« Reply #162 on: August 22, 2010, 03:30:38 pm »

Yeah that was probably the most epic burn ever on this website.
Sigh, no one remembers PhantomTapeWorm anymore. He was one of the greats. But back in the day, flamewar threads got deleted. We really should have preserved a few for posterity. At least we still have this thread around.
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« Reply #163 on: August 22, 2010, 08:37:30 pm »

I dont know, it may only be funny to you if you have a giant stick up your ass
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« Reply #164 on: August 23, 2010, 03:28:21 pm »

Classic Travis! Very Happy
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« Reply #165 on: August 23, 2010, 05:30:37 pm »

You know, just like frasier was only funny to uptight  white people who paid too much for law school
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« Reply #166 on: August 23, 2010, 05:31:07 pm »

So, after reading that post DA made, I shot a message to shock_wave and hope that we can all go to Waterbury. Yes, because of that post. Travis/Chris are just that damned good.

Is there a prize for going 0-8?
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« Reply #167 on: August 23, 2010, 06:24:42 pm »

So, after reading that post DA made, I shot a message to shock_wave and hope that we can all go to Waterbury. Yes, because of that post. Travis/Chris are just that damned good.

Is there a prize for going 0-8?

0-2 gets you free entry into the 'Snapple' bracket.  Just find somebody from the New York crew.  Or Winnie the Pooh.
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« Reply #168 on: August 23, 2010, 06:27:34 pm »

So, after reading that post DA made, I shot a message to shock_wave and hope that we can all go to Waterbury. Yes, because of that post. Travis/Chris are just that damned good.

Is there a prize for going 0-8?

0-2 gets you free entry into the 'Snapple' bracket.  Just find somebody from the New York crew.  Or Winnie the Pooh.

actually for me it usually was 0-2 titties, because there is always a titty bar on the way back from the tournament.
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« Reply #169 on: August 23, 2010, 06:43:49 pm »

0-2 is for punks, 0-8 is for real men. It's worth the drive just to have fun, you know, go big or go home. Top-8 or 0-8.
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« Reply #170 on: August 23, 2010, 08:02:00 pm »

61917364224
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« Reply #171 on: August 23, 2010, 08:07:56 pm »

61917364224

?????
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« Reply #172 on: August 23, 2010, 09:03:46 pm »

12 ^ 10. Or alternatively, how many beers or hits to the head it would take for anyone to think Lil Bow Wow can act or rap or whatever the hell it is he thinks he's doing.
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« Reply #173 on: August 23, 2010, 09:08:19 pm »

61917364224

Correctamundo
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« Reply #174 on: August 24, 2010, 08:04:28 am »

Yeah that was probably the most epic burn ever on this website.
Sigh, no one remembers PhantomTapeWorm anymore. He was one of the greats. But back in the day, flamewar threads got deleted. We really should have preserved a few for posterity. At least we still have this thread around.

To be fair, I've been calling out PTW for a long time in my trashtalknig threads.  I need a worthy adversary and I guess he'd be close enough.  Sadly, my attempts thus far have been without success.
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« Reply #175 on: August 24, 2010, 08:36:53 pm »

was looking over the list of players, shouldn't dave feinstein be on that, he hasn't played vintage in like 3 years.
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« Reply #176 on: August 28, 2010, 08:04:18 am »

So I booked my ticket today, I'll be arriving September 9th and leaving September 13th.. anybody in the NYC area and up for a meeting / playtest session etc should do well to contact me (PM on TMD, FB, AIM whatever) as I'm open for anything.

I'm looking forward to seeing all you folks again and meeting all the people I didn't have a chance to meet last time (Smmenen, Mastriano looking at you guys) all kidding aside this is going to be one EPIC trip again...

On other news, for the Team Serious Crew (and Nick Detwiler and Mike Egan obv) I'll be bringing Stroopwafels !!
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« Reply #177 on: August 28, 2010, 09:16:33 am »

Stroopwafels and french inkwells plz Very Happy
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« Reply #178 on: August 31, 2010, 04:25:10 pm »

If I make it to this event I expect EVERYONE else too as well Razz. Although I haven't touched a card in like 5 years.

Edit: Does anyone know how to get in touch with Bryce (aka kl0wn)?

Try email, it worked for Ray.  Wink

I'd like to make it, only problem is I'm poor. I mean REALLY poor. Living off student loans here; I only get like $14k/year for everything. Also depends on my workload.

I still have my cards though.

I'd need to get a crash course in the metagame and a link to the B&R list too. Am I correct in recalling that they restricted Thirst for Knowledge and Brainstorm?

Last time I saw Carl, he was behind the counter at Jupiter Games in Vestal. Maybe I can dig him up.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2010, 04:27:55 pm by kl0wn » Logged

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« Reply #179 on: August 31, 2010, 07:10:01 pm »

Happened upon the invite to this in my spam folder today. holy shit memories. if I didn't have a prior work commitment I'd be coming down just to act foolish and drink too much.  I'm sure that there will be a number of you going down that are more than capable of filling this role in my stead. 

Reading this thread has brought back many many fond memories of playing with those of you whose names are worth remembering such as......

nope sorry drawing a blank.  anyway have a great time all and don't forget that in the absence of a bottle opener the Hotel has provided you with a bible that work just as well
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