40 midgets VS a lion

[Jacob Orlove]

I think the midgets might get a draw using the same method the alligator used against the python.

Not likely. First of all, the male lion doesn't even hunt for food, so he'd be unlikely to eat the midgets in the first place. Second, he's completely used to eating exactly as much as he wants, then leaving the rest for the other lions, and for the thousands of scavengers that will descend when the lions leave (did you know there are dozens of vulture species in the savannah?). Basically, the lion has no problem with letting food go to waste if he's not hungry.

[Magi]

I'm surprised that over 100 people have voted in this poll.

I'm also surprised that the lion has shot way ahead, because as far as I can remember they were pretty close (split by maybe 3 votes) last time I saw this poll, and now the lion is waaay ahead.

Is this the most voted poll on tmd ever?

[Limbo]

Oh my, I wonder how often this thread is going to be resurrected. Maybe Bram can photoshop a lion necromancer resurrecting 42 freshly slaughtered midgets for the occasion?

[Magi]

Oh my, I wonder how often this thread is going to be resurrected. Maybe Bram can photoshop a lion necromancer resurrecting 42 freshly slaughtered midgets for the occasion?

Or 40 midgets having a lion BBQ

[Bram]

It's amazing how the most participated-in, and as such seemingly valid, poll result on these boards is completely and utterly wrong.

One of these days, I will prove this. By experiment. I'll post here to tell you guys to tune in to CNN once I start

[Komatteru]

Is this still going?

[Bram]

Great philosophical debates like 'why do we exist' and 'can 40 midgets beat a lion' will never be settled.

[Dozer]

It's amazing how the most participated-in, and as such seemingly valid, poll result on these boards is completely and utterly wrong.
One of these days, I will prove this. By experiment. I'll post here to tell you guys to tune in to CNN once I start

I will be there, taking bets against the little people.
I'll bring 40 body bags, too.

[rvs]

It's amazing how the most participated-in, and as such seemingly valid, poll result on these boards is completely and utterly wrong.
One of these days, I will prove this. By experiment. I'll post here to tell you guys to tune in to CNN once I start

I will be there, taking bets against the little people.
I'll bring 40 body bags, too.

What kinda odd are you laying?

[Dozer]

I'll give you a Mana Drain for an Island that the midgets won't win. Fair?

On the other hand, what would I do with that many Islands...

[dandan]

I think the midgets might get a draw using the same method the alligator used against the python.

Not likely. First of all, the male lion doesn't even hunt for food, so he'd be unlikely to eat the midgets in the first place. Second, he's completely used to eating exactly as much as he wants, then leaving the rest for the other lions, and for the thousands of scavengers that will descend when the lions leave (did you know there are dozens of vulture species in the savannah?). Basically, the lion has no problem with letting food go to waste if he's not hungry.

You misunderstand. Assuming the midgets are fanatical enough (say kamikazi ninja midgets), they can take advantage of their small size and the fact that cats have teeth that are slightly barbed backwards to push themselves down his throat (obviously the first few midgets down can be helped by the others, the latter midgets might struggle to achieve this on their own but I doubt it would need more than 30). This is hardly an optimal solution but given a choice between certain defeat and almost certain defeat, any plan that might work should be considered. There are tales of people choking smaller cats (say leopards) by thrusting their arms down its throat when it gripped them, although I suspect most of them are untrue.  I used the word 'might' and even then only offered a draw, my vote certainly went to the lion.
My grandad used to tame animals for the circus and you can rest assured that putting bite-sized people up against a hungry lion wasn't one of the preferred methods. If you think about it, circuses have a lot of experience of lions and midgets and although many circuses had lions (before most places banned such animals in circuses) few have more than 40 midgets, especially those with lions.

Note that packs of hyenas, carnivores equipped with razor sharp teeth and jaws so strong they have been know to eat saucepans (i.e harder than a midget) still don't take on lone lions.
Note that Walt Disney originally planned Snow White and the 47 Dwarves, but some of them tried to take on a lion. 

[Limbo]

Note that Walt Disney originally planned Snow White and the 47 Dwarves, but some of them tried to take on a lion.

I wonder how many more gems like this one will be created in this thread.

[rvs]

You misunderstand. Assuming the midgets are fanatical enough (say kamikazi ninja midgets), they can take advantage of their small size and

You should read the premise of the thread again (as probably a lot of people should). Here it is again:

* Fight takes place between 1 full-grown, male African lion and 40 midgets
* The midgets are unarmed (no guns, baseball bats, tasers, etc.)
* The fight takes place in a closed arena (a racquetball court for example)
* Fight is over when either a) the lion is dead, or b) all 40 midgets are dead or unable to fight back (severely wounded)
* Lion is highly agitated, midgets know there's no way out until the lion is dead (they have to fight)
* The midgets are not specially trained to fight (not like the Cambodian fighting ones in the article) but are in average physical and mental health
* The midgets are given 5 minutes before the fight to prepare/strategize

[dandan]

If the midgets are in normal mental health WTF are they doing taking on a lion?

Sorry, only nutters would try it.

In any case I've worked out an alternative stategy for the midgets - pretend to be far away. The lion withits excellent front-facing eyesight would look t the midgets and get an initial impression taht they were slightly chubby humans but at a distance, perspective causing their small size. Therefore, saying stuff like 'Look at that big lion over there in the distance' (presumably in Swahili so the lion can understand) and looking at it through binoculars might just cause the lion to chill out, thinking that the shortfolk are a safe distancce away.

This is probably only as likely to succeed as the choking the lion plan although luckily use of the above plan is almost certain to facilitate an opportunity to try the other oneanyway. Failing that, the only hope for survival (for 39 of them anyway) is to dress up one midget as a lioness.

[Limbo]

Failing that, the only hope for survival (for 39 of them anyway) is to dress up one midget as a lioness.

Or they just bend over in turns until the lion is sexually exhausted, which should only take a couple of days...

[Bram]

If the midgets are in normal mental health WTF are they doing taking on a lion?

I'm either holding their families captive in an abandoned windmill, or (in seven or so cases) Kl0wn sent me midget pr0n pics peaturing the participant, and I'm threatening to publish.

[BigMac]

If the midgets are in normal mental health WTF are they doing taking on a lion?

I'm either holding their families captive in an abandoned windmill, or (in seven or so cases) Kl0wn sent me midget pr0n pics peaturing the participant, and I'm threatening to publish.

I know this windmill. He can hold the families of at least a hundred midgets in there. So i know for a fact the midgets would be in the right state of mind for the ninja assault, but still they would lose.

[Jacob Orlove]

Wait, is that the same windmill I saw too? That windmill was awesome.

[dandan]

Dancing betwen the blades of a windmill might save the midgets. I remember a BBC kiddies programme where Windy Miller had a fine windmill and once every series it caught someone or something (albeit not a lion). Was it Camberwick Green or Trumpton?

Another fine Dandan plan would be to play Magic. In Magic, the mighty lion has a toughness of 1 and any dork can take him out. I assume the midgets would have to be dwarves or gnomes.

[Limbo]

If they ever print the creature type "Midget" in magic, I demand they make them have power 1/43th.

[BigMac]

They have midgets in magic. They are called kobolds.

On another note. Lions are perfectly capable of killing when there is no need for them to eat. When in a neighbouring dispute with hyena's  a male lion will be perfectly when killing as many hyena's as he can. As we have established that this was with a male lion (right) we can also assume the lion will have serious problems with the space there is in the arena the midgets are in. In this instance the lion will not stop at just wound the midgets, but will actually kill them.

And a male lion can actually win over a whole pack of hyena's. Those midgets will get their heads delivered back to them with a throat missing.

[dandan]

Actually there have been a number of cases where people have climbed into lion's enclosures and the male has bitten their neck, choked them until unconscious and then left them, still alive but incapable of troubling the lions further. Of course, they tended to die anyway, what with having a gaping neck wound (and incidental major lacerations on the rest of the body) but how hard is that, that the lion could mortally wound the midgets then go off to shag a few lionesses or have a nap whilst the midgets colour the floor red until they die?

[Anusien]

I'm necroing this thread.

It's official.  The Cambodian prize fighting team of 42 midgets fought a lion...

THEY LOST!

http://www.freexe.com/files/BBCNEWSWorldLionMutilates42MidgetsinCambodianRing-Fight.htm

(okay, now read this: http://lionvs40midgets.uk-directory.com/)

[Dozer]

You are necroing this hallowed thread by repeating the first post of the thread? What a way to come full circle!

However, there seems to be an actual decrease in lion numbers. "[...] KWS officials said that they had witnessed a recent surge in lion killings." I attribute these killings not to the Massai warriors, or even to cambodian midget fighters. I think the Minjas are out there to avenge the many groups of 40 midgets who have been killed in secret training sessions in the Kenya desert. While it is clear that the Lion can easily take on and out any 40 midgets, I must admit that he will have trouble with Minjas. It's always the last one that defeats him.

Thank god the Minjas are busy with anti-Lion training instead of conquering the world!

[Magi]

I love this thread. I want to have its abortion.

Although I'm sad to see the lion sporting a huge lead now.

[Bram]

I'm so glad somone necro'd this. It so happens that just today, I polled two more people on the problem and BOTH voted for the guys. Face it, people, that lion is history.

[Anusien]

I'm so glad somone necro'd this. It so happens that just today, I polled two more people on the problem and BOTH voted for the guys. Face it, people, that lion is history.

Bram, you came back to TMD just to post on this thread?  Wow.

[Dozer]

Bram, you came back to TMD just to post on this thread?  Wow.

Anusien, this thread is the only real reason to come back to TMD! 

Bram, next time I see you I'll bring a Lion. You bring the midgets. Your "small people" are not only history, they are FOSSILIZED.

[Bram]

Actually, I came back to post in the 'best insult ever' thread, and just happened to see someone necro'd this.

Or, more 'actually' even, I never really left. I just had another two-week accessing problem (both at work and at home). I've been having these ever since the move, and I now believe it is somehow tied in to my mod status in combination to multiple editing of posts (since it primarily seems to happen when I submit one of those). It's frustrating, but also kinda cool, since I try to check TMD ever day get really excited when the boards suddenly appear again ^^

[dandan]

New tactic for the midgets (must be Chinese {hell, they are small and there are a lot of them, they could be Chinese} acrobat midgets) - Group together and form a ball. Assuming midget thickness of 30 cm and ball/shell layers of 1,3,9,27 that gives you a 2.4m tall ball (I counted the centre dude as doubled up) weighing maybe 1600kg. Roll that lion, he can only kill the outer 27 midgets and is unlikely to have access to do that (although crushing effects for the outer midgets and oxygen starvation for the inner midgets might well cause incidental fatalities). Maybe one midget could stay out of the ball to push start it and/or act as bait.